Sunday, May 11, 2008

Babies and Dinosaurs

or: Parenting Advice from Jurassic Park

Last night I got home from the library around 11 having written FIVE whole pages for my cyber law paper. The writing of those five pages required a king sized box of Mike and Ike's, three chocolate stars, a Jimmy John's sandwich, chips, and chocolate chunk cookie, two diet cokes, and take-out pad thai. All that clicking to open up new Lexis windows works up quite an appetite. When I got home I kissed Landon good night and whispered to him that sleeping until 6 AM would be a wonderful Mother's Day gift. He must have misunderstood me because he was up at 3:30 crying and screaming and it took Motrin and then nearly 45 minutes to get him back to sleep. A few of the thoughts running through my head near the end:

Me, while patting then rubbing his back: Okay, his breathing has slowed... start rubbing slower and lighter... like I'm barely even there... Okay, good, no breathing changes... Now stop and just rest the hand lightly on his back. Alright, it's looking good, now take one step towards the door without moving the hand. Wait a second.. now slide the other foot over... very good. Now, slowly lift up the hand...

[a soft cry comes from the corner of the crib]

Me: FREEZE. Don't move - don't even breathe - and he won't see you. Wait, isn't that for a dinosaur? Like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park? Why would I think that would work? My god, I'm tired.

[Still frozen, but no longer sure why] Hmmm, it seems to be working though, maybe I can duck down and then crawl out the door.

[Crouch only to hear one big sustained wail coming from the Landon, curse out loud] I wonder when I need to stop saying bad words in front of him... probably now. Why, WHY won't he go back to sleep? I hate teeth. Alright, let's try the bouncing again... Wait, it's officially Mother's Day - daddy's turn!

[End Scene]

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there from me and the Landon:

updated to add: He crawled for the first time! The hand, knee movement finally came together and he just crawled towards his toy truck. I'm really excited about his little milestone but it's also sinking in that our lives are never going to be the same again... the Landon has gone mobile.


  1. Saw your comment on, baby, husband, don't know how you do it. I'm the mom of a 2.5 yr old who didn't sleep through the night til he turned 1. It was bliss till he turned 2...good luck with the move. Love the blog.

  2. Congrats on the 5 pages. You are that much closer to being done. Hang in there. Someday Landon will sleep through the night. Hopefully by next Mother's Day for sure. Happy Mother's Day!

  3. yayy congrats LL on your first mothers day =))

  4. Happy Mother's Day and yay for the pages. Whatever you have to do - lots of headings? block quotes? have no shame, whatever gets you to that next page number :)

  5. What a great Mother's Day present. Good job Landon!!! Looks like I'm gonna have to baby proof before y'all can come visit, or else we might have to stick to your house :-)

  6. OMG, I'm totally flashing back to those days when you had to be ABSOLUTELY SILENT when leaving the room or else you had to start all over again!

    Congrats on EVERYTHING. It sounds like a great Mother's Day to me!

  7. I used to have to lay Charlie down like some kind of ninja after I'd gotten him to sleep. I guess I'll have to relearn how to do that. Congrats on the 5 pages, awesome!

  8. Delurking to say: what a sweet Mother's Day present (even though sleep would have been even better.)

    In my experience, their sleep is crappy when they're coming up on a developmental milestone like crawling. It's like their bodies just WON'T STOP. So maybe he will sleep better now that he's figured out crawling!

  9. Happy first mother's day...

    I do the same thing. In fact earlier tonight when I was putting some laundry away in Cooper's room, he stirred, lifted his head and I hit the floor. This sort of thing happens too often. I have even crawled out of his room on my belly. Motherhood is so glamourous!

  10. Hahaha Jurassic park reference.

  11. Wow, he's crawling already! The more mobile they get, the more fun it is, I think.

  12. Congrats on the 5 pages, and congrats to Landon on the crawling!

    By the way--babies/toddlers can often have restless nights right around huge developmental milestones, like crawling. Now that he's figured that out, you might see his sleeping pattern improve for a bit. (until the next milestone approaches, that is)

    Happy Mother's Day!

  13. Oh god I know that routine - freezing, watching the breathing, stealthily sneaking away while holding your breath. Happy first mother's day.