Thursday, June 25, 2009

Untitled

I just typed out a whole post about how absolutely terrible my evening was. It was 105 degrees, Landon screamed almost non-stop from the moment we got home, my cul-de-sac was taken over by emergency vehicles and my neighbor tried to kill herself and may have succeeded. It was horrible and I threw Landon at JP when he finally got home from coaching and burst into tears on the driveway.

But I don't want to publish that post. The Landon stuff, while frustrating as all hell, is temporary, and my neighbor's story is too awful and not mine to tell. And after writing out the whole thing I cried again, cuddled with JP, watched The Fashion Show, and decided not to share any of it with you. Not because it isn't important or because I'm not still affected by what I saw, but because I think sometimes you have to choose to focus on the good, the little things - the frivilous.

And today, the bulk of it, was actually a really great day. Work is good, the assignments are interesting, the flexibility is real. I wore heels again and an outfit that made me feel good (the shirt below, black pants, white cropped jacket). I like what I'm doing. I went to a real salon with a real stylist (I'm normally a quick trim at the mall kind of girl) and lost nearly 6 inches of hair. I told the stylist I wanted to look like an attorney -- a young attorney, but not a swimmer or a student any longer. I told him I had to be able to style it in under 5 minutes with a toddler attached to one leg and two dogs running in circles around me if necessary. And I still had to be able to pull it back in a rubber band. And then I closed my eyes and let him do his thing. And I think I like it.



I don't hate it and the reaction at work was overwhelmingly positive. In fact, two partners stopped by my office to say they'd heard there was a great haircut nearby, so that felt good. I left work after a happy hour feeling light-hearted and happy and then felt it chip away when Landon started a continuous stream of raging tantrums as soon as we left the daycare center. And then he choked and stopped breathing on some graham cracker honey bees in the back yard right before I locked us out of the house. And then a fire truck, ambulance, and four police cars took over my cul-de-sac.

And now I wonder if I should publish this draft either because I've gone and ended up talking about some of the bad and maybe frivolity doesn't belong. But it must- because I tried to type an all somber email and felt it was too heavy to share, and then I tried typing this one and still ended up including the sad. It was just an odd day and the awful ending doesn't eliminate the happy beginning and apparently I need to share both.

19 comments:

  1. Sorry about your neighbor. I reallu like the haircut!

    Also, it's funny how in Texas, people wear bright colors. :)

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  2. I wouldn't worry so much about sometimes posting about the not-so-great things in life. Everyone has bad days and everyone experiences sadness, frustration and anger. You're human -- celebrate it!

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  3. your haircut looks great and so do landon's amazing curls :)

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  4. Landon's hair is growing so long! He is gorgeous. I love your hairstyle - mine is similar - really well cut and so easy to maintain.

    I also love, love your top.

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  5. Ooh, and please don't use a rubber band in your hair (use a proper hair elastic - rubber bands are dreadful for splitting your hair!)

    It may be that Texan for Hair Tie is Rubber Band anyway!

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  6. Awesome hair. Landon is gonna give Sumo a run for his money on little blond curls.

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  7. Great haircut, you definitely look like a young attorney! But I thought your hair was a lot darker in previous pictures. Did you lighten it or am I just miremembering?

    As to your post itself, the title to your previous post (Hightlights and Lowlights) ... it kind of says it all, just sums up life, doesn't it?

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  8. Everybody has "those" days and if you were to post about it, no one would judge. The majority of your posts are upbeat and your regular readers know that. :-)

    Hang in there - I am really sorry all of that happened in ONE day. Yikes.

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  9. Wow, what a day. I was going to say the same as MMC - between this and the last post, life is both good and bad (and frequently in the same day), and I like that you'll share it all at once.

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  10. Good-looking couple of people in that picture! So sorry about the end of the day. Nothing like toddler tantrums to make you feel completely frazzled and incompetent (or maybe that's just me).

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  11. Notes from the Editor/Author: It's not that I don't want to publish an all sad post, I've done that before, it's that after typing it I couldn't see any benefit in publishing it. The Landon stuff had a humorous twist once he was in bed and I'd had a glass of wine and the neighbor stuff was so awful and tragic I felt I couldn't put them in the same post. And then even if I did- how could I end it? what could you respond to it? She has four children and I watched them carry her out on a stretcher. I just didn't know what to do with those lines of text and ultimately decided it wasn't going to make me feel any better to publish the details and ultimately, they weren't my details to share. And yet, I couldn't leave it out entirely because it was a huge, emotional part of my day. So I included everything and hoped the frivilous hair comments weren't offensively out of place with the other happenings. I don't think they were- as I said, the terrible ending to the day didn't delete the good beginning and I wanted to (apparently, had to) share both.

    To RJ: "rubber band" is definitely slang for hair elastic or whatever else people call them. I've never put an actual rubber band in my hair, I think that would hurt a lot!

    to MMC: My hair lightened up post-hair cut and blow dry. It frequently changes color on its own- I've never dyed or highlighted or even done the lemon juice/sunin thing. As the stylist was drying it he suddenly said, "whoah, you have a Lot of blonde in your hair... where did that come from?!" and several people noticed that back at the office. My hair likes to keep everyone on their toes :)

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  12. Last week was fantastic for me, complete with a job offer straight from heaven, and then the weekend was awful. That's just how it goes sometimes. Finding our way into the not-so-awful side of things is all we can do.

    And there's nothing like a good haircut and a great outfit to help us get there!

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  13. What a DAY! I cannot imagine how stressful that all was. I am glad there were some light moments early on. I hope your day today and your weekend are more relaxed.

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  14. That does sounds awful - I'm so sorry. Don't feel bad about reveling in your (awesome looking) hair, though - sometimes it's the little things that can help carry you through the bad stuff. Having had a toddler that has been the queen of tantrums for the past year or so (just starting to get better, though!), I will say that indulging in the occasional hair salon/pedicure trip has, superficially or no, been a nice pick me up when I'm feeling at my most bedraggled.

    I hope your weekend is better... hang in there!

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  15. Sorry about your neighbor. Suicide is so hard to understand :( Love the haircut. I think you look fantastic.

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  16. As someone who worked for years as a crisis mental health therapist, I think suicide has almost become normal to me. I forget what kind of an impact it has on everyone - even the neighbor witnessing it all. I hope, for the sake of her children, that your neighbor survives, and that they all get the help that they need to heal.

    On a much lighter (literally, I guess) note, what texture is your hair? I desperately need a hair cut, and I'm loving that - but I fear mine may be too fine to pull the layers without heavy styling - and, with a 17 month-old, I certainly do not have time for styling.

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  17. I love your hair and Landon's!

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  18. Hi Anon, my hair is very fine (very fine - I tried bangs once when I was young and my hair is so light they just floated above my forehead) but plentiful. The stylist said I could handle some layers because there's so much of it and as long as they weren't too blunt. If you're in Austin I highly recommend Wet Salon on South Congress!

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  19. You look beautiful. :)

    I am so very sorry about your neighbor. I hope she recovers and is able to get the help she needs. :( Very sad!

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