Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Tempest

Well, my tongue is not bleeding. Things are actually going quite well- I've been working, JP has been coaching and attending investor and company meetings, and Landon has been followed and adored as though he is the sun and my in-laws must orbit (very, very closely) around him. I've held back multiple times on explaining the concept of personal space and the fact that even though Landon is little, he is still a Person and deserves to go five seconds without being touched, patted, and/or smothered. But he's a trouper and they don't see him much so as long as he doesn't look freaked out I'll continue to hold my tongue. It helps that I'm gone all day, and that I know despite any other failings and irritations they love Landon very, very much.

I did have one interesting exchange during the first hour they were in our house. JP's grandmother is 92 and has lived with them since her second husband died when he was in 7th grade. She is very blunt, frequently cruel, and always colorful. When JP's parents were upstairs fawning over Landon, she sat down on the couch across from me and said, "So, what do you think of the gays?"

I shot JP a look of WTF combined with Help! and a dash of Here we go... JP, who was safely esconced in the study, replied with smug amusement and a "You knew what you were getting into when you married me" shrug of the shoulders. And because I did and we are now legally joined in a union no grandmother can put asunder- and because I kind of enjoy the fact that I am not what his grandmother thinks I should be, the conversation continued something like this:

Me, amused: What do you mean?

GIL: Well, you know, marriage!!

Me: You mean, do I think they should be allowed to?

GIL: [nods]

Me: Yes, I think in a country that purposefully separates church and state, with a government that has decided to regulate marriage as a civil matter and grant a host of benefits along with it, they have to be allowed to.

GIL: But then they can have children!

Me: They already can- anyone can have children, you don't have to be married. If anything, allowing marriage helps those children by showing some acceptance and legitimacy for their family and extending those civil benefits that come with it.

GIL: Hmph. One of my friend's daughters is.. [whisper] gay [/whisper] and she has a daughter!

Me: Okay... well, she can do that.

GIL: Hmph. I don't like it.

Me: Well, I guess it's a good thing we don't get to control what other people do based on what we like.


GIL: Is Landon potty trained yet?

And with that, she declared victory and I went into the study to pantomine the act of strangeling someone to a greatly amused JP.

Today Landon is taking an Austin Duck Adventures Tour with his grandparents and since three of his favorite words are Duck, Wawa, and Boat, it should be a big hit. I will continue to work a lot, be a gracious, constantly cleaning hostess who does not initiate political discussions but will respond to them, and spend a lot of time drinking wine and kicking warnings to JP under the table at dinner. Given past experiences, things couldn't be going much better!


  1. Laglive, my friend, one of these days you MUST drink some wine and then share some detailed backstory on these people. They sound worse than / similar to my parents...and that makes for some great blog fodder.

  2. Sorry about the typo. Laglive was supposed to say LagLiv!

  3. Oh dear! I will be thinking of you while you endure that visit. My MIL just left last week, believe me I know what you are going thru!

  4. Is JP's grandmother from his father's or mother's side? I think it's so interesting that she's been living with them for so long. If she's his paternal grandmother, how's her relationship with her daughter-in-law (your mother in-law)?

  5. She's his mother's grandmother (he's from a line of only children -- JP, his mom, and grandma are the only family members on that side). She and his mom fight bitterly and frequently, but I think they're quite dependent on one another.

  6. Oh, interesting. I think you meant his mother's mother, right?

  7. Yes. I started writing "maternal grandmother" and then switched to "mother's mother" and screwed both up!

  8. "The gays." Classic. I love it when large groups of people are referred to as "the __s."

  9. OMG, this post just made me crack up. What a great break from barbri. I made Daniel read it and he cracked up too. I'm sorry y'all are suffering, but the stories are awesome.

  10. He he he...gotta love these visits! Give the old lady a pass and thank God she didn't pass on her beliefs. How's Landon enjoying his houseguests? Bet he's the perfect host!

  11. So, do you keep Landon home from daycare because your in-laws are here? Does the daycare still charge you even if he's not there?

  12. Mostly yes and yes. He went for a half day Monday and will do the same tomorrow just to keep some semblence of a routine. The daycare still charges us because we're paying for his spot in the center and they can't go get someone else to join his class for the random days he's out. Not that I wouldn't love to save $250 this week, but it makes sense to me that we would still have pay, we did the same for Maya up in Chicago when Landon would miss days (or weeks).

  13. The daycare thing is standard. My daycare gives us 2 weeks of "vacation" each year at 1/2 price, to be used whenever we want, so that flexibility is nice--and it doesn't wreck their budget.

    I was highly amused by your conversation with the grandmother. Some folks seem to have a lot of trouble wrapping their heads around, oh, CIVIL RIGHTS. Anyway, I feel for you, because I'll be spending 4 days with my father & stepmom this weekend, and let's just say they'd get along great with JP's grandma. ;-)

  14. well said. nice way to form your argument.

    you need to show grandmama a photo of my fambly ;)

  15. Duck, duck, duck. What the hell is with the word duck? My daughter is only one year old, but she runs around saying "duck" nonstop. Every bird she sees she points at and shouts "DUCK!" This would be adorable if it didn't happen ninety times a day.

  16. LL - I so feel your pain. My MIL is here for 6 weeks and she loves to talk politics. Unfortunately it is the same for me but we think so differently! It has been an exercise in tongue bitting, for sure! Big hugs and enjoy the alone time with JP while the little man is being watched.

  17. I'm picturing the grandma in Wedding Crashers right now, except maybe less funny. I'm pretty impressed at your tongue-holding abilities.

    I tried and failed to hold back when my MIL started talking about working mothers we know and how they were screwing up their families by working...I'm SURE she wasn't trying to tell me something! ugh