Sunday, May 3, 2009

Dear Ms. Google, Part II

I love reading the Google searches that somehow bring people to my humble website. I hope a few find what they're looking for (with "pregnant in law school," "baby and working," "baby teething killing me" it's at least possible), but I don't think I was much help to the searchers below.

As before
, these made my list of favorites not necessarily because they were the funniest or strangest, it's usually more because of the way they are searching. I have to remind myself that someone opened up Google and typed in these phrases to find answers. A few others I included because I felt like answering them.

how to explain to husband about no sleep with baby: Every tine I read this I laugh and then shake my head. Has he ever been around babies? Does he really not know his sleep will be affected? Does he understand he needs to help you with the baby up at night thing? Maybe set an alarm to go off every 2-3 hours as a tutorial.

i would like to take my day off: Sounds great- have fun!

liv skinny drink: I get at least ten searches a week for this, is it some secret diet drink that tastes delicious, actually works, and doesn't involve any diet or exercise? If so, please include a few more details in your search so that I can find it.

sumtimes. i think its the bitterness rather than the caffeine that keeps me up: This one gave me pause. At first I assumed they meant they were so filled with bitterness about life that it was keeping them up at night. I was going to suggest they talk to a counselor of some kind. But then it occurred to me they may have meant the bitterness of coffee, which seems much easier to correct- either stop drinking it or add more sugar. Also, it is spelled s-o-m-e-t-i-m-e-s.

getting fatter i can't close my jeans: This just cracked me up. I'm not sure what you were hoping to add by including the closing of the jeans troubles along with your weight gain concerns, but maybe you should try the liv skinny drink!

is it crazy to quit law school after 1 year: This is a tough one. If law school was only 2 years long it'd be easier to say yes, but it is three, very expensive years of your life and if you are completely certain you do not want anything to do with the practice of law, I'd say get out now. I had two classmates do this from the University of Chicago and both are very happy in their non-law paths. That said, be sure it isn't just law school you don't like because law school and the practice of law are very different.

going to law school just to go to law school: Bad idea unless you're independently wealthy. And if you are, I can think of lots of other fun things to do with your money and time besides law school.

advice hate practicing law: That's a toughie. Have you tried a different practice area? I did not love my first specialty, but I very much like what I am doing now. There are many days when I can honestly say I love it. The switch has brought an amazing addition of excitement, competence, and control to my life. If trying a different practice area doesn't help, start job hunting and emphasize your excellent analytical skills and whatever else law school could have taught you besides law.

my two year old don't eat lunch at daycare center: I bet he would if you used correct grammar. Using "don't" instead of "doesn't" grates me almost as badly as the word "ain't" and that's really saying something.

one smart cookie for test taking: I love the phrase "smart cookie," it combines two such positive things! But I wasn't sure what this person wanted from their search.

does not getting into a lower ranked law school mean you wont get into higher ranked ones? You would think it worked that way, but it is not necessarily so. The only law schools that outright rejected me were Yale and Penn. At the time, Penn was ranked lower than every other school that let me in (I think it's moved up a few spots in the last 4 years, maybe because it didn't let riff raff like me in). I think your grades and LSAT score make you eligible for a certain bracket of schools and then it's just a crapshoot- the person reading your file just happens to think that your personal statement speaks to them, or maybe they were in the same college club as you, or your file number matched the random number they drew out of a hat. I really have no idea how it works, but if you're talking about schools within a range of 10-20, no, being rejected form a lower ranked school does not rule out the higher ones.

And then there's always a bunch of searches about the Bar, one example:

texas bar exam freaking out: Take a deep breath, eat some cookies (it helps with the smart cookie karma), and review your outlines. It will be okay. I honestly think at least 50 of the points I scored on the Bar were because I never freaked out about it. So many people looked so ill on that morning, I was sure they were going to miss a few questions while trying to control their nausea (and it's graded on a curve). It will be okay. It's just a test- and even though it would admittedly suck, it's a test you can take again.

That's all this time, Ms. Google and family are off to the park. Happy Googling!


  1. Cracks me up. How do you find the Google searches?

  2. Love it. Isn't it crazy the things people search for? Yours are great! Someone found my blog today by googling "llamas with faces" - makes me wonder why they feel the need to specify. I've never seen a llama WITHOUT a face! Although, that'd be pretty scary. Now that I think about it, maybe I'd search for llamas with faces too just to make sure the scary non-faced llamas didn't come up in the results. :)
    Thanks for sharing!

  3. I just can't imagine why anyone would go to Google and type in some of those things. So weird!

  4. I 2nd you on the higher ranked law schools part. I applied to lots, and was rejected by all but two - the lowest ranked one and the highest! (Terrible GPA but high LSAT, I think it was seriously the essay that won them over.)
    And Bar prep starts in 3 weeks, so I'll be back when the crazed middle of the night Google searches bring me this way!

  5. I love when you share these.

    I laughed out loud at "my two year old don't eat lunch at daycare center: I bet he would if you used correct grammar." ...still laughing actually. probably because I can hear you saying it.

  6. Law school admissions is witchcraft. I have a friend who graduated number 3 in my class, and he only got into one school. Makes no sense at all.

  7. I always forget to check my stats. I went and looked at my searches after seeing this post. People found my blog by searching for hilarious things like "c section recovery" and "us district court." Yeah, I don't think I'll get a post out of that. Why are mine so dull? Does it reflect on the content of my blog?

  8. I love Smart Cookie too! In New York they had these packs of 5 "smart cookies" in all the bodegas and delis around the city, for just $1. And they were delicious. So it became a 4am-coming-home-drunk snack and we always said that they were making us smarter.

    Hmm, that actually sounds kind of pathetic now that I put that in writing...