Monday, March 10, 2008

A Strange Sense of Calm

Each quarter I sink to a new level of finals unpreparedness. It's become something of a contest among 3L's to see who has done the least studying and I'm pretty sure I win. This isn't the "I haven't studied at all (oh, but I did do all the reading, took notes, looked over old exams, and made an outline)" type of whining; I really haven't done any of those things. And there isn't time left to pretend that I will. I have an 8-hour take home exam tomorrow for Sexual Orientation and the Law, a class you may notice I haven't mentioned in a while, and that's because I haven't looked at it in a while. I'm planning to spend the first 3 hours creating an outline based on the exam questions, one hour eating lunch and wasting some time (necessary for my thought process), and the last four hours actually writing the exam. I'll spend Wednesday plugging through other people's con law outlines to make my own, knowing that I won't actually finish. With every section I get through, I realize with more certainty that I won't reach all of them. And I'm honestly not bothered by that. The sections I have done, I've done thoroughly, so I will have enough written down to pass. My grades so far in law school have been pretty good (not that anyone understands our bizarre grading system anyway), so my transcript can take a few low numbers and still look okay. Thank goodness I'm not close to honors or trying to clerk, there would be so much more pressure.

In health news, I am sick with a bad cold. I'm sure those sitting near me in the library are hating me for the constant sneezing and nose-blowing. My head is filled with snot and other yuckiness and there is no room left for con law. Landon had a follow-up appointment with the surgeon this morning and everything looks great! The stitches look good and there's very little swelling - this might be one medical story that is completely drama-free (other than the near starvation he suffered Thursday morning). The surgeon said that for all his complaining in the pre-op room, he was totally quiet and happy down in the OR. He looked around, smiled at everyone, didn't put up any resistance to the IV (which they got on the first try, yay!), and then just closed his eyes. That was nice to hear. He really has turned into such a happy little fellow. Maybe he always was, there was just so much drama and crap and pain covering it up. This weekend while I was "studying" and he was sitting in my lap, banging on the desk and trying to pull off my nose, I realized how much we enjoy him now. While there were some great times and we loved him to death, I can't say his first several months with us were particularly enjoyable overall. But now, he's just so fun. His personality is coming through and JP and I spend hours just talking, playing, and laughing (and laughing more) with him. Babies can be a blast - who knew?

11 comments:

  1. OMG, just reading about studying and not being prepared and ... yikes, I am SO getting flashbacks to graduate school.

    You know now I'm going to have nightmares tonight about not being prepared, right?

    On a brighter note, glad L is doing do well, post op!

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  2. Good luck on your exams!

    Glad to hear that Landon is doing well and is a lot of fun! You've had more drama than most and I promise that the first months, while difficult, are generally not as hellish as what you have been through. On the bright side, any future new babies should be a cakewalk for you and JP compared to these first few months with Landon.

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  3. I feel like my son is so much more fun now, too . . . and he was totally healthy the whole time (unlike poor Landon). I think it's because for a long time, there's no feedback . . . you just input food and manage the output. I second the anonymous comment that you've done your fair share of worry with him and everything from this point on ought to bea total breeze.

    Oh, and I don't even know if I should comment on lack of prep for exams seeing as I am probably the ultimate worst study role model. I stopped reading and/or preparing long ago. Want my Con Law outline? I didn't read for that class, but I did make an outline. I'm not sure why. I think I got a B or B+ in that class. If you want it, leave me a comment and I'll send it to you!

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  4. I started noticing myself enjoying Charlie when he was close to Landon's age and it has only gotten better and better since then. We are expecting our second baby and I have no idea how I'm going to go back to hte newborn phase because toddlers are so much fun!

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  5. Good for you. You should be proud of yourself that you've gotten through another quarter with your mental health more or less intact.

    Hope you feel better!

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  6. I remember my last semester at school, and I was the same way. I couldn't have possibly been less prepared for finals, and yet somehow I squeaked by. As long as you pass, it doesn't matter (much)!

    I hope your cold goes away quickly. I know I hate being sick, but I can't imagine being sick, studying and taking finals, AND taking care of a baby all at the same time. Get well soon!

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  7. Sometimes I think it is totally unfair what we've had to go through during our first year as parents...it's not typical...but isn't it nice when you have those moments of reflection when you realize that no matter how painful it all has been, having your child in your life is so completely worth it. Good luck with finals! Hilary

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  8. good luck LL! i understand the sense of calm towards the end opf grad school. i have an exam at 2 today and im not even sweatin it. infact i went to sleep early last night. maybe thats because we get a cheat sheet...but still!lol

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  9. If there's any set of young parents who deserve the "fun" phase of baby, it's you two! So glad you're finally able to relax and have fun with him.

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  10. oh man, I know how you feel about being unprepared yet calm. I think I just stopped caring! Finals are just about a month and a half away and I havent started one outline! I dont care, I keep plugging in my favorite DVDs.

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  11. I totally love babies at this age...Gavin was a blast! So freakin' cute, full of personality and spunk. Cooper is buzzing up a storm and is full of sass and cuddles for mama. It seems once they start crawling (or rolling like a tumbleweed, in Gavin's case) and walking, they're too busy to snuggle and there's the whole "childproofing" worries and the falling-on-their-faces that scares the hell outa ya. Yep, 6-9 months is my favorite baby age. ;)

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