Rebecca the Red Nosed Reindeer and Other Stories of Holiday Magic

So I have Nasal Vestibulitis. It's a "rare type of bacterial infection at the opening of the nose." It makes the tip of my nose swollen, tender, and very red.

"I look like a clown," I lamented to James a few nights ago.

"Or," he responded, "in this holiday season, you could say you look like..."

Rudolph. I look like Rudolph. I've dubbed it Rudolph's Disease and sing extra loud when the song comes up on my Christmas playlist.

Yay for makeup

I went to the doctor on Monday and got topical and oral antibiotics. Apparently my tiny red nose requires multiple meds, plus a probiotic and decongestant because it was probably caused by me constantly squeezing my nose to clear it due to my chronically retracted ear drums. So now I have a chart because the oral antibiotics are 4x a day, while the topical is 2x a day, and the probiotic is only once but not within 2 hours of the antibiotic. It's ridiculous; all for a swollen little tip of a nose.

But it's timely, not only because we're almost upon Rudolph's night to shine, but because it was exactly 7 years ago yesterday that I, a 30-year-old well-read lawyer, googler, and mother of 3, first learned that reindeer were real.

[Scene: Visiting the Dallas Arboretum on a freezing day with all three kids, including our tiny 6-week old baby (#ThirdKid), to see Santa.]

Me: Oh look kids! It's Santa and one of his reindeer! *wink wink*

[The kids said hi to Vixen and then walked off with James to see Santa.]

Me, to the handler who almost certainly wasn't being paid enough: So, what animal is it really?

Handler: Um, it's a reindeer ma'am.

Me, motioning to the absent children: It's okay, you can tell me, they can't hear you.

Handler: Um, this is a reindeer.

Me, equally annoyed and impressed at the commitment to holiday magic: Yeah, okay.

[I walk off to join James.]

Me: So I tried to find out what kind of animal the pretend reindeer is, but the guy wouldn't tell me!

James: Um, that's a reindeer.

Me: Ugh, stop it! I really want to know!

James: Wait... do you not know that reindeer are real?

Me, googling: Oh my god.

James, dies of laughter. [End scene.]

The kids love that story and honestly, so do I. It's like the time I learned in college that snakes can climb stairs. I grew up in a house that bordered a forest and small creek. Snakes were a frequent guest in our yard and occasionally made it into the house via our cat. And while I liked snakes and often caught the garden variety ones to temporarily house in an old aquarium on our porch, I had one night where I guess I got scared that one would appear in my bed. My dad, probably tired and wanting alone time with my mom, told me snakes can't climb stairs. I took this as gospel truth and stubbornly believed it for YEARS despite knowing on some other level of my brain that snakes often live in very tall trees. My freshman year of college someone was telling a story about a snake that was found in an attic and I said, "No, they couldn't have; snakes can't climb stairs." There was also laughing- it's good to be humbled every now and then and I totally yelled at my dad the next time we talked on the phone.

But back to Christmas! While this is a strange and socially distant holiday season, we have been able to check off a few of our favorite traditions! Claire was able to perform in the 5th grade play, a mask-wearing, socially distant play that the music teacher filmed in small spread-out groups and then spliced dozens of video clips together because she is amazing and wanted to give the 5th graders a final play. Claire played "Mom" and Maggie played the puppy the little boy wants for Christmas and it was the very cutest.

The girls had their much anticipated annual Pajama Reading Day at school on Friday.

And I still got to read them our favorite Christmas book, Christmas Delicious, via Zoom from our living room. I wore my pajamas in solidarity, and not just because I'm pretty much always in pajamas. It was so special to still be able to read to them and I was surprisingly sentimental about the fact this was Claire's last PJ Reading Day. When Landon graduated 5th grade it felt okay since I had Cora about to start Kindergarten the next year, but now I'll just have one baby in elementary school and that seems impossible and gives me lots of feelings.

Maggie and Moose were also featured in the Zoom reading and the girls were so excited to show them to their classmates. It was a fun kick off to Winter Break for them.

Later that day, Moose got to open his stocking early and he was very excited about his new toys.

In other new toys, James designed holiday suits and they are the cutest.

Cora also wanted you to see her outfit for going out to net leaves from the pool.

On Monday we went to see Santa on my lunch break!

Maggie came too obviously. She's a Believer.

Cora wants a puppy, which is a hard no, so hopefully she'll be satisfied with legos, a marble run, and the perfect angel of a bulldog we already have.

My constant companion, she is beauty and grace and pure wrinkly love.

Also, pure love: my shipment of Twinings tea that got delivered yesterday. This is what happens when your friend recommended a tea you can't get in any nearby stores and the free shipping minimum is $50.

$51 and 13 boxes of tea later and I have quite the assortment now living in my old built-in wine storage rack. The Christmas Tea is perfection and Winter Spice and Peppermint Cheer are also lovely.

And while gingerbread houses aren't our usual treadition, a friend gifted us an extra set and the kids were very excited to put it together. They divided it into sections for decorating and then begged to eat it.

We tried to warn them that gingerbread houses don't usually taste like the soft, chewy, amazing gingerbread cookies their Gigi makes, but parents don't know anything.

Except when they do.

Their reactions cracked me up. They ate all the candy, we tossed the house, and considered it a successful holiday project. Then we drove around the neighborhood singing loudly to the Raffi Christmas album and admiring the lights. I'm on Day 62 and it's been a good month so far.

[I should also add that I am so enjoying and appreciating your comments and feedback. Each comment email that pops up in my inbox during the day is like a little hug from the outside world and it's the best. I've gone back to respond to the ones from the last few posts, but in case I missed any, I just wanted to say thank you for still being here when I wanted to write again and I wish you the Happiest of Holidays and a Joyful New Year.]

July: Hot, Pancakey, and full of Hamilton

Hello July!

Time has no meaning, but that's no reason not to get festive with the holidays that pass us by.

Despite our inability to visit my parents or host the big pool party we traditionally throw for the 4th (RIP Margarita Machine, I miss you), we had a lovely 4th of July weekend. I got an early dismissal from work on Thursday and had Friday off and though we had little planned (or perhaps because we had little planned), it really was a restful few days.

(I mean, as restful as it ever gets.)

On Saturday morning we woke up to a decorated kitchen table with patriotic pancakes and berries in a meal planned, executed, and cleaned up ENTIRELY by Landon. It was the sweetest thing.

He said he'd been planning it all week and even got up early to get everything ready so that Claire could enjoy the breakfast before heading out to be in our neighborhood 4th of July parade. He made batter in separate bowls, dyed them, used the griddle, chopped the berries, found a tablecloth from last year's party, and then set up and cleaned all the things. It was the best and such a sweet continuation of the little ways we've tried to make holidays special over the years.

Claire headed over to our neighbor's house to ride in their trailer for the parade and we watched from the spread out sidelines, cheering on the decorated cars and trucks. After the parade ended, I changed into non-sweaty clothes (even sitting in 100+ heat makes you melt) and settled in to the couch to watch Hamilton on Disney Plus. I saw it in person when it came to Dallas last year and it was amazing, but I hadn't listened to the soundtrack beforehand and missed SO much of what was going on. I had my tea and my closed-captioning fired up and was ready to begin a complete re-immersion into the Hamilton experience. The girls joined me a few minutes in. I assumed they'd get bored and leave but they were transfixed. We finished the whole show, they clapped, we listened to the soundtrack, we downloaded the movie onto Kindles to fast-forward to re-watch certain songs. We listened to the soundtrack again and again and again all day. It was THE BEST.

I LOVE musicals. I grew up listening to musical soundtracks played loudly all day, particularly while we were cleaning or doing dishes. The soundtracks of Le Mis, Phantom, Miss Saigon, Funny Girl, and more are an indelible part of my childhood memories. James does not love musicals, so while I'll never pass up the opportunity to watch one live (thanks to a great friend with a hookup!), I don't really listen to the soundtracks these days and my kids don't know every word to Angel of Music or One Day More like I did by their age. But now they have Hamilton and they are OBSESSED. We watched it every day over the long weekend and listened to the soundtrack anytime we weren't watching the show. I'll remember their faces and their lips trying to mouth the words so brightly from the weekend. Landon got sucked in on round 2 and is now determined to learn the raps as fast as his friend can say them.

After our Hamilton immersion program, we swam in the pool, enjoyed a takeout BBQ dinner with watermelon and brownies, and then swam in the pool some more. Even James and I got in and I can't remember the last time it was just us five in the pool together. After the after-dinner-swim we packed in the car to drive to a good spot to watch the city fireworks show. We got home quite late- so late our sleepy deaf guard dog never even woke up. Loud fireworks are not a problem in this house.

I taught barre on Sunday, made nachos for dinner with the leftover chopped brisket (brisket and queso are a match made in Texican heaven), watched Hamilton again with the girls, and read all the Hamilton cast twitter feeds. It was such a nice, fully unplugged (from work) long weekend.

Scooter gang, expanded

In non-holiday news, our ongoing efforts to keep our distance from the fungus kitten continue to be sub-par.

But can you imagine this tiny baby still in quarantine?

He is still getting all his medicines and twice weekly baths and he hates them VERY much.

Death glare.

But once over the insult of wet water bathing, he'll still cuddle with you, because he's a baby cat and he needs them as much as he needs to run up and down his cat tree and chase anything left on the floor.

Watching him play with Maggie is the funniest thing. He gets all riled up and runs in fast circles around her while she stands still and smiles.

He'll pounce on her face and she continues to stand, confused, but pretty sure she's playing the game correctly.

Eventually Moose will declare victory and scamper off and Maggie will go take a nap. Everyone wins.

They crack me up.

Speaking of pets, Maggie went to the vet last week because of course she did. Her allergies are acting up and we wanted to try a new vet right by our house and finally got an appointment. I had to wait in the car, but she was very excited to be on an adventure

Wait, there's going to be shots?"

She did great (Maggie LOVES the vet) and is trying a new allergy shot plan. The vet told me she fell asleep partway through the exam and stayed that way until she let out a loud fart that woke up her. Sounds right. Maggie is very comfortable in new environments where people smile at her. I love her so much.

The swim school reopens next week, which means I'm happy for James and inwardly freaking out for me. I've gotten more work done with less stress, crying, and yelling in the past 10 days than I have since the kids were at my parents' for a week. Parenting and working and being on speaking/flirting terms with your spouse are IMPOSSIBLE to all do at the same time and I'm already dreading next Monday when dual working parent status begins in earnest again. We have some new plans, but there's no comparison to just having another adult in the house affirmatively acting as the first responder, resource, and entertainer for all the things.

Backyard friend we found on the patio yesterday feels similarly

We still have to make a decision on school in the fall and I just can't. It seems reckless in the extreme to bring our teachers, staff, and hundreds of students into old enclosed buildings all day without enormous financial and other support our schools definitely do not have. Cases are rising rapidly in our area, our federal government response is still DOA, and the state education guidelines published so far are largely recommendations and not requirements. Our students cannot be physically distanced in their classrooms and masks are not required for kids under 10. How can our teachers be safe? I have seen no protocol for what to do if a teacher tests positive? or a student, or a member of someone's family? a friend? How would subs be handled? What if a sub tests positive? The 90% attendance requirement is still in place, so how would quarantine even work? We don't have a hybrid option and are supposed to pick between in-person or online for the whole semester. Surely kids or whole classes will have to go back and forth between the two?

On the other hand, James is on a call so this was my coworker earlier, doing math in a box after requesting multiple Barbies' hair be styled while I was drafting documents. I want our kids in school. Our kids want to be in school. Physically going to school right now seems reckless, at best, from a personal and community perspective. I have no idea what to do and continue to simply try to ignore the fact that the first day of school is just over a month away.

So, food.

Nacho bar!

Sun: BBQ Brisket Nachos (queso, from Velveeta in a rare but delicious homage to my childhood queso nights) with all the toppings and leftover chopped brisket. Supremely delicious.
Mon: Vegan Winter Lentil Stew. It's not winter, but this isn't heavy and we were in the mood for something light and vegetarian.
Tues: Verde Chicken Tacos (frozen chicken breasts cooked in the crockpot with a jar of verde salsa; shred and add half a block of cream cheese towards the end, turn to high until mixed in. Serve in tortillas with toppings), black beans and Mexican rice on the side.
Wed: Sheet Pan Roasted Sausage and Veggies (tonight was red potatoes, carrot, and cauliflower), Parmesan Orzo (orzo cooked and drained; melt butter in warm pan, add garlic, add back in orzo and stir with parmesan, salt, and pepper until combined and tasty).
Thurs: Salmon Cakes (we LOVE these; I use canned salmon and it works great), Mashed Potatoes, Steamed Mixed Veggies.
Fri: Pasta with meat sauce. Ground beef cooked with onion and garlic, tossed with cooked what pasta (probably a mix of whatever we have in the pantry) and a jar of our fave marinara from Costco. Whatever's left in the veggie drawer on the side. Wine.

Another week down, we made it.

Still Here! Now with more Meltdowns, Easter Bunnies, and Discoveries

Hello again. I was doing so well with the blogging for a while there - I wrote 11 posts in March! That's practically law school levels of blogging! But then our shelter-in-place life got busier and harder (so much harder) and I got sadder and I was reading a lot more (currently flying through Sarah J. Maas's Throne of Glass series) and I just couldn't bear to open my computer at night and write anything.

There is still so much good in our lives - our health, safety, and relative financial stability even in the wake of James's business temporarily closing - these are such good things and I'm so grateful for them. We have each other, our three kids that give each other built in companionship and entertainment, our home, our stocked pantry, and we continue to have and enjoy this extra time together. Not all of it, but a lot! It's time we never would have gotten in the every day and I have pauses every single day that make me smile and feel grateful I got to have/see/observe that moment I would have otherwise missed.

But fuck y'all, this is fucking hard.

I spent Friday-Wednesday in an off-and-on funk I just couldn't climb out of. I'd get close and then feel myself sliding back down. I cried- full on shoulder-shaking sobbed- on Monday because James didn't hug me when he walked by me in our room while I was working. Despite sharing the same space with four other people every day, I feel so so alone and have become needy as hell in an attempt to fill the void. It's a level of needy that turns to bitchy and makes me unpleasant and unhuggable. On the flip side, James is struggling with the NEVER being alone, like he normally is free from 9-2, Monday-Friday while he's working and we're all at school and work. So he's feeling strangled while I desperately need to be smothered. We've been together for nearly NINETEEN years and on Monday I was like, wait... are we incompatible?

So there was that. As usual, just recognizing the problem helps. I've now built two hour-long blocks into my work day calendar where I go work with the kids and James takes a break to do something else- run, work out, sit in another room, just anything, alone. I was always available to help, and popped in often to do so, but he felt like he should do the schooling since I was doing the working so he usually stayed in the room too and just never took a real break and I don't think either of us realized he needed one, until he really really did. As a bonus I've found that these blocks of time in the sun room with the kids help me feel less isolated and alone. The end result of which is that he is more interested in hugging me and I am less likely to climb on top of his head and drown him when he throws out an arm to do so.

So! Things are smooth again. We've identified needs and filled them and can better serve ourselves, each other, and our children for doing so! Our therapists would be so proud.

The kids continue to handle this significantly better than their adults. A little story to turn this into the Easter post I originally intended for this to be: Cora worked very hard on a card for the Easter bunny on Saturday. I'm not sure why exactly, but crafts are life right now and she felt strongly about this one.

The kids had built another huge fort and were all sleeping in it when Landon came out at 10 p.m., unable to sleep, because he wanted us to know that Cora had been talking before bed and was really hoping for a note back from the bunny and could we make her one? He didn't want her to be disappointed. We told him we were on it and he was very relieved and could finally sleep.

And on Sunday morning Cora was DELIGHTED to find her note.

He may be all bony angles and long limbs these days, but he remains truly the best big brother.

Our Easter festivities began on Saturday after I finished teaching my yoga class.

Quick aside, I am still LOVING the Zoom fitness teaching. The connection, the planning, the movement- all essential to me right now and a huge thank you to the blog readers who continue to take my classes, it's been a joy. My theme for class last Saturday was Grace. As I said when I opened class, I tried really hard to do a "rebirth" or "rejuvenated" type theme for Easter and Spring, but I just couldn't do it. I didn't FEEL renewed or refreshed or anything remotely similar to those words, and I just couldn't fake it, even through a Zoom teleconference screen. So I went with grace. Because I FEEL that- the strength and flexibility that come to mind when I think of that word- I need it, I want it, and I'm giving it when I can. I don't know what next week's theme will be, but I know that thinking on it, journaling around it, and talking about it to my students- this has been important for me and thank you again for those who are there with me.

But back to Saturday after class. I made a big breakfast of waffles, eggs, and turkey sausage, and then baked a magnificent carrot cake. It was a ton of work- from candying the pecan pieces to grating the carrots to making the batter and the icing. I think I spent about 7 hours in the kitchen.

The only way to stop eating leftover icing

But (1) what else did I have to do while the kids cleaned the house; and (2) my goodness was it gorgeous and DELICIOUS. Maybe the best thing I've ever baked? Definitely top 5.

We did takeout for dinner that night. It was a planned part of the week's menu, but would have been required regardless because after spending ALL day in the kitchen (brunch, cake, prepping Sunday food), I could not possibly have made food to eat that night. The kids went to bed in their fort, Landon came out to tell us Cora needed a reply from the Easter Bunny, and we filled and hid the kids' Easter baskets. Then everyone slept in until nearly 9.

The kids hunted their baskets. We used Landon's inability to find anything that might be behind or beneath another object against him and he took the longest to find his basket. (It was in the toy bin, UNDER another toy.) Normally we follow my mom's tradition of using the Easter baskets to get everyone stocked on swim suits and fun summer gear, but we did a lot of that before our trip, so this was simple- a few books, still a swimsuit or two, and something to play with outside- a basketball, four square ball, and chalk.

There was an egg hunt while my breakfast casserole baked. Again, Landon may have taken the longest to find his third, but they all really enjoyed it.

Brunch was amazing. I threw together a bacon, potato, egg, and cheese casserole and James made fluffy French toast out of the only loaf of bread left in the store on Friday. We topped the French toast slices with fresh strawberries and leftover candied pecans from my cake baking. It was so, so good. I had half a mimosa and then remembered I was teaching barre at 1:30, so I stuck it in the fridge to finish it after.

And finish it immediately after I did!

We went on a long family walk so Maggie could show off her Easter dress and then ate a delicious dinner and more cake.

It was a solidly good, if strange holiday. Happy Easter, from the Lag Liv junior crew:

My grandparents celebrated Easter in their retirement community with a streamed church service and the traditional hiding of my grandpa's Easter basket.

He found it. Also, my grandma turned 90 last week! We were supposed to be in San Antonio for her party and we all greatly look forward to the day when we can reschedule.

For my own metaphorical Easter basket I purchased this $25 hot beverage carafe from Target and it makes my work days so much better and more caffeinated. Each morning I heat up 1.25 Liters of water in my electric kettle, put 3 tea bags in the carafe, and then pour the boiling water into the carafe to let the tea steep while I feed Maggie and escort her outside. When I'm done, I pull out the bags, add my sugar, and then I have about 10 cups of hot tea to pour into my cute little mugs in my bedroom throughout the morning while I work.

As a non-coffee drinker I have always envied the mass produced coffee options that allow you to just refill a mug whereas tea required multiple steps each time. This has made me so happy. And so warm. I can't imagine why I never purchased one earlier.

Maggie wonders why her chariot was not purchased earlier too

In a final bit of news, Landon discovered my blog. I learned this when I got a rash of New Comment approval requests Monday night while sitting on the couch next to a tween giggling like a maniac over his school Chromebook.

You guys, I died. I was laughing so hard and have giggled at them throughout the week. "i am not Landon" is perhaps my greatest blog comment of all time.

After his flurry of comments he added, "but why does anyone read this mom? It's just you writing stuff."

Followed by, "Isn't this last post old? Why haven't you written a new one? You're behind mom."

Everyone's a critic. Except Maggie, because Maggie loves you.

And finally, Food!

Sunday: Maple-Ginger Teriyaki Pork Tenderloin, Mashed Potatoes (from a bag of dried flakes, purchased in desperation when potatoes were not to be found and darn it if they weren't delicious; I'm proud of those little flakes, they did stand-up work. We added fresh chopped chives on top though, because we're fancy), Roasted Carrots. THE Carrot Cake for dessert.

Monday: Lemon Chicken Soup with Orzo. Amazing. Restaurant quality. Followed the recipe almost exactly, but added a few extra carrots, and extra 1/2 cup of orzo, and used 8 cups of broth.

Tuesday: Taco Tuesday! Traditional ground beef, crunchy tacos, all the toppings. Black beans, Mexican rice on the side.

Wednesday: OUT! As a special treat this week we gifted ourselves an additional curbside takeout night. We picked pizza- fancy pizza with fancy salads from our favorite date night place and it was so great.

Thursday: Bison Meatballs with Whole Wheat Penne. Salad.

Friday: Homemade pizza and a salad. I think I'm going to attempt this new recipe: Chicago-Style Deep Dish Pizza. I LOVE Chicago-style pizza and I'm equally scared that I'll mess up and it won't turn out AND that I'll do the recipe right and it will be delicious and then I can eat Chicago-style pizza whenever I want which I do not need the ability to do. On the salad front, I'll make James and my current fave which is mixed greens + diced steamed chilled beets + candied pecans + diced apple + goat cheese + balsamic vinegar and olive oil + fresh cracked pepper. Delish and super easy.

Saturday: Traditional Takeout Night. Always much anticipated and sorely needed. We've done fajitas a few times but maybe this week it will be hamburgers? Who knows, the culinary takeout world will be our oyster.

Sunday: Minestrone Soup. I've made this recipe before and it's GREAT. I do the stove top version, double the beans, and use farro instead of bulgur. The pesto addition is inspired. Served with crusty fresh bread.