The End of Spring Break 2012: Unpackapalooza

And so ends our most action packed (and possibly least fun, though it has certainly been exciting) Spring Break ever. We'll take this last day in pictures.

Morning. Skylights make it hard to sleep in. Two kids who are super excited to be sleeping in the same room make it harder. Me and my aching back, legs, and arms are up at 6:30.

Watching cartoons IN A BED has not yet lost its novelty.

Unpacking continues. Finished the kids room. No decorating yet (lots of plans there- probably won't be put into action until their birthdays this summer though), but everything is in place, functional, and comfortable.

 

Family walk to a nearby park we saw on our way to dinner last night.

This park is AWESOME and reminds us a lot of Austin.

We kept walking and walking and walking and finally realized we must be pretty far from home. Thank goodness for my iPhone and google maps- after hiking up the steepest residential hill ever, with a stroller with a flat tire, we made it back.

Landon needed a little help for the last 1/2 mile, but he walked the other 2.5 on foot! (We hadn't unpacked the garage yet and couldn't find his helmet. JP is in charge of that room. I expect it to be unpacked and organized just before summer. Maybe.)

Unpacking and errands. JP took Claire to the grocery store to stock up on food for the week. I attacked the family room. It looked like this at noon.

And this at 4. Yay!

In the middle of that we got a visit from some new neighbors who brought over champagne, fresh flowers, and their adorable 2-week old baby. So incredibly generous- with a newborn in the house, it should have been us bringing them something!

 

Then there was more unpacking. We got rid of all the boxes via craigslist to some poor sole packing up her whole house by herself to move to Ohio. In the midst of this we got another knock on the door and it was another new neighbor with a full dinner for us! Delicious homemade Williams Sonoma crispy beef rigatoni with a salad and garlic bread. Between the park and the food and the friendly neighbors and the new squishy baby right across the street, I'm in love with our new neighborhood!

We headed to my office after the kids woke up from their naps to pick up the daycare forms I need for drop-off tomorrow, and to get my nice strong husband to deliver and set-up my fancy new 5-gallon water dispenser. So far my only cons for government work are no relocation expenses and no water. NO WATER. I was so dehydrated by the end of the week last week my lips were cracking. Now I have 5 gallons of hot/cold/room temperature water right next to my desk. I feel so fancy. There's also a park in the lawn in front of my building, so the kids had a great time with that.

(no pictures because my iPhone was left behind on the kitchen counter)

We got home, unpacked the wine (it had mistakenly been placed in the garage, which explains why I hadn't unpacked it yet), and sat down to a nice home-cooked (neighbor's home anyway) meal. Lovely.

 

Bath, book, and bed for the kiddos. Walking dead and design magazines for the grown-ups. Tomorrow at lunch I have to pick out all the tiling for our master bath tomorrow by myself. It's a lot of pressure. Tomorrow is also the kids' first day in the new daycare. I wasn't able to attend the mandatory orientation yet, so I'm hoping they'll let us in... Montessori's seem like sticklers for these things, but I'm sending JP to get orientated for us tomorrow. I hope the kids have a good day. Landon's uniform is all ready to go and Claire is wearing her favorite outfit with little bumblebees on it.

It's my first full week of work, JP's first week working from home, the kids first week at the new school, and a contractor's first week doing some demolition and remodel work in our house. Cheers!

Howdy

It's been two very long, overly productive days, but we're here and we're settling in. Yesterday morning began at 7:01 a.m. when 6 movers arrived at our door. We gave them a walk through and they jumped into the packing. Landon came downstairs around 7:30 and we found him silently standing on the landing of the stairs, clutching a stuffed duck and looking at boxes and paper and tape and strange men, with a complete expressionless face. I have no idea what was going on in his head. We shuffled him back to his room to change into clothes and let another mover get in to pack up his furniture and closet. I finally woke Claire up a few minutes later because they needed to get into her room. She was displeased, but when I got her downstairs she yelled out some cheerful "HI!!!!!"s and then went to the garage to sit on Natalie's extra set of car seats for a while. I think they wanted to make sure they'd be packed into the van with the rest of our stuff.

I tried to get a final picture of the kids in front of the house, but Landon flat our refused and Claire wasn't much better.

The rest of the morning was a blur of daycare drop-off (and tears when I said goodbye to the kids' teachers), a bank trip for the biggest cashier's check I've ever requested (down payment and closing costs), two goodwill drop-offs, a few craigslist sales, and then an in-home closing with a traveling notary and our lender. We signed a million documents at our kitchen table while JP tried to work (he couldn't get the day off, which was awesome) and the movers packed and loaded everything around us. The kitchen table was the last thing in the truck at noon.

I took off with the original documents to bring to the title company in Fort Worth. The two trucks and three guys JP picked up the kids from daycare, dropped the Austin keys at the realtor, and delivered the cable box and modem to Time Warner. Then he remembered the attic above the garage. It wasn't packed- we'd told them about it, they'd asked about it, and then at some point in the 5-hour pack and load madness we both forgot. I frantically called the moving company, which tracked down the trucks, which sent one back to meet JP back at the house. The truck got caught in traffic, JP waited with two kids missing naptime for two hours with no furniture or food. JP and the mover got the attic stuff loaded and left Austin about thirty minutes before I arrived in Fort Worth.

Where I exchanged the loan documents for keys and garage door openers! I drove to the house, met truck #1, which realized all their loading equipment- ramps and dollies- were tucked away in van #2 that was still 3 hours away. They persevered, carrying in everything themselves, while I directed and unpacked. This house is almost the same size as our Austin house, but the layout is completely different and it's missing quite a few of our old extra rooms (and nearly ALL of the closets).

Sometime later (time had lost its meaning) JP showed up with truck #2, Tex, and the kids. (The kids who were now hungry with two parents who had no food for them.) Now the unloading went into hyper speed, and we just tried to find places to put all the boxes (and keep Claire out of the pool). At one point, when Landon was asking again when we'd be able to eat, he let out a long sigh with "Mom, this day is not fun at all." Fair enough, though he did enjoy helping the movers.

JP ran to the store for some staples and a frozen pizza. I held Claire for over an hour because every time I'd set her down she'd burst into tears and wail "up! up! mama! up!" We ate the frozen pizza (baked on foil, removed from the oven with a towel, and turn into pizza). Landon dissolved into tears around 9 p.m. when we didn't know what a "moneybank" was and he kept asking about it. Finally at 9:30 p.m., after 14.5 hours of labor, the movers were done. We tipped generously, made up the kids' beds, and tucked in their exhausted little bodies. JP and I took one survey of our disaster of a house and went to bed ourselves. Not even I could contemplate tackling any part of that until morning.

And then this morning came. The kids got to watch cartoons in our bed (we've never had a TV in a bedroom before- it blew their minds) and then we began Unpackapalooza 2012. In which JP unwrapped, I put away, and Claire and Landon got to do pretty much anything they wanted that didn't involve bodily harm or breaking anything:

We made a lot of progress:

Time lapse camera: 8 a.m.





10 a.m.


12ish


3 p.m.


6 p.m.

We have completely unpacked and organized the kitchen and pantry (oy), the master closet, master bath, kids' closet, kids' shared bedroom, and JP's office space. In the midst of that we had an appliance delivery (fridge, washer, dryer- they're so pretty! and you can't even see the scratches and dents that saved me over $1,000 on them), a long visit with our contractor (because we now have a longer list of projects, including a demo of our laundry room due to a water leak and newly molded walls), a visit from a friendly neighbor, a trip to Lowe's, and two trips out for food at delicious local restaurants (living so close to a university is awesome- we walked to dinner!). We also entertained the kids and kept them alive and unharmed while we unpacked (and met with the contractor, etc.). I'm exhausted, but I'm pretty darn proud of ourselves.

Tomorrow I plan to unpack pretty much everything else in time to prep the kids lunches for their first day at the new daycare and peruse all the kitchen/bath magazines I bought at Lowe's. The contractor arrives at 8 a.m. Monday morning and I'll be at the tile superstore with him at 11 a.m. to make all our design decisions for the 3 bathrooms. We don't do things slowly, but oh I can't wait to see how great everything is going to look when it's finished!

Home the First

We have cable! We're closing tomorrow morning! We're moving tomorrow... sometime. We're unpacking tomorrow night super late!

Fort Worth: New Adventure 2012 is a GO.

Which means we have to say goodbye to this house, our first house. When we moved in, Landon was 11 months old and I was studying for the Bar (or not studying, depending on the day). JP got his MBA, started a business, ended a business, looked for work, found work. I was pregnant again- quite unhappily at first- and then we met our beautiful baby Claire. Landon learned to walk- learned to do pretty much everything- and fell in love with his baby sister. It's been a good 4 years. Some ups and downs of course, but overall, quite good. I'll miss it, this lovely stone house and our wonderful neighborhood, but I think I'll miss the time we spent here even more. But oh am I excited about our next stop.

And in other good news, beyond the existence of internet in our house and the potential of our owning it by noon tomorrow, JP had his performance review today and got super high marks and a much bigger bonus than we expected! I'm so, so happy for him. Not only is the money coming at a really good time (renovations! JP's dream for a fire pit in the backyard may come to fruition), but he was so tickled and proud and excited... I'm just so happy for him. I got all teary when I read his performance review tonight and I could see him watching me with a proud smile he was trying to keep off his face. Much kissing followed. Man did I miss him.

I drove home without stopping tonight, barely staying with my "don't go more than 8 mph over the speed limit" rule, because I was overwhelmed by the need to see and touch and hold my family. I spent 3 nights away, really 4 nights given how early I left Monday morning, and I was fine. It was the longest I'd even been away from them, but everything was so busy with the new job, new house, big move, and new trilogy, that I felt like I was living in some sort of twilight zone with no time to miss anybody. But once I got on I-35 towards Austin, I suddenly couldn't stand it. I needed them. I called JP and begged him to keep the kids up until 8. I pulled in the driveway at 7:53 and flew up the stairs calling their names. Landon ran out to give me a hug, and Claire followed close behind, clutching a flashlight under one arm and a firetruck book under the other. I will never forget her face as she turned the corner and saw me- it was excitement to see me, sadness to realize I'd been gone, panic at not knowing what to do with all these emotions... even now I can't get it it out of my mind and can't stop alternatively wanting to laugh and tear up at how overwhelmed she looked. She dropped the firetruck book for faster land speed (kept the flashlight though, practical girl) and launched herself at me.

I really missed them. After we put the kiddos to bed, I spent about 60 minutes talking non-stop to JP. It appears I might have been lonely. It's nice to be home, which really, is wherever JP, Landon, and Claire are.

Which tomorrow, will be in Fort Worth!

Days 2-3

I just finished the Hunger games trilogy. Starting the first one on Monday night was a huge mistake. Even after that long exhausting day I stayed up too late to finish the book. Then I read book 2 last night, finishing it up this evening at dinner. And anyone who's read that book knows that the minute you read the last page you have to read the first page of the third book immediately. So I ordered it up on kindle at 10 and just finished it. When I read like this, when I'm so tired and my eyes hurt and I have to work all day and drive back to Austin tomorrow night and then begin our big move early Friday morning, I think I have some small glimpse at what it must be like for people with more dangerous addictions- the drug and alcohol dependencies I don't understand. Mine is a relatively harmless one of course, but I know I need sleep. Know I will curse myself as soon as I finally turn out the light. Know I will curse myself more in the morning and JP will yell at me for not getting more sleep while I was away. And yet I can't stop. I turned out the light twice only to switch it back on and read just a few more pages. At least it was only a trilogy of fast YA reads...

Today was a rather rotten day. My job is still awesome. Unmitigatingly awesome. The SEC seems different from a lot of other agencies... it's pretty fast paced, initiative is strongly encouraged, everyone there is relatively young, super smart, and loves their job. People smile all the time and talk excitedly about their matters in the hallways. I have missed that so much.

But on the move front the day was a mess. I spent 70 minutes caught in zoo traffic, apparently due to a combination of Spring Break and "half price day," while trying to get to the new house for the cable installation so that JP can have internet right away to work from home. The current owners very nicely arranged for me to have access to the house from 1-3 when the cable company could come out, even though we don't actually close until tomorrow, because the next available install date wasn't for weeks (due to the cable company's crazy policy of not allowing me to schedule installation until the current user has canceled, so even though I called weeks ago, they wouldn't schedule me until yesterday). The owners called to warn me that the electricity have been inadvertently turned off a day early, so I called Cable Co to ask if installation could still go forward. They said it could. I called again to ask another person, just to make sure, and they again assured me installation could proceed. While stuck in the horrible traffic that made me spent an hour to go the final 1.5 miles, I got a call from my lender. For some technical reason that should have been foreseen, we can't close on the house tomorrow as planned. I very nearly start to cry. Then I get to the house, FINALLY, and the installation guy tells me immediately that he can't install anything without electricity and the next available appointment is on the 28th. I have now wasted nearly an hour and a half and all that has been accomplished is a lot of frustration, wasted gas, and the knowledge that we might not be able to move in on Friday.

I get back to the office and after a lot of phone calls, it looks like we can close Friday morning from Austin. A notary will come to our house in the morning and I'll drive the originals to Fort Worth as soon as they're signed. JP will supervise the rest of the move and meet me with the kids and Tex in Fort Worth a few hours later. Hopefully funding will happen by 5 p.m. and we'll have the keys before the moving van arrives. I can't even contemplate the alternative.

Cable co is coming back out tomorrow at 1. Electricity is supposed to be turned on by midnight but no one will tell me when or make any estimates. There's no Saturday installation so if we can't get it installed tomorrow, JP can't work from home on Monday.

Between Mockingjay and today's move-related stress, at least I should fall asleep quickly- a rarity for me and a hotel room. I can't wait to be home- wherever that is for the next few days, and back with JP and the kids. The kids because I miss them so terribly it hurts, and JP because he'll hit my arm if I stay up too late reading. Lights out.

Day 1

I am now officially an SEC attorney. I have been sworn in, vowing to uphold the constitution (and, I assume, all the various securities regulations), and I have found the kitchen, supply closet (pens!), and shortest route to the bathroom. I have an office with my relocated orchid and a newly stocked snack drawer. I already miss the firm fridge full of diet cokes and the spigot of hot water for my tea (no tea! I haven't figured out how to cope with that yet- perhaps an in-office hot/cold water dispenser as a belated birthday gift to myself? a day without hot tea is not an option). I have exchanged handshakes with a large number of people and I have learned an even larger number of acronyms. I have been assigned four cases- cases that are MINE, that I get to run and own and act like a partner on (without the demanding client)- and I have already fallen completely in love with this job. It is going to be so incredibly awesome.

I woke up at 5:00 this morning and pulled out of my driveway at 6. I had to forcibly restrain myself from going upstairs and giving the kids a hug before I left- I didn't think JP would appreciate an early start to his morning, but it was hard and I miss them. I drove through extremely dense fog, stopped for a Starbucks at mile 100ish, and arrived at the office at precisely 9:02. I had some orientations, some ethics training (lots of ethics training, it's like the MPRE on steroids (except not, because that would be an ethics violation)), and exactly 3 minutes to "settle in" to my surprisingly large office. There was a group lunch where I impressed everyone by ordering (and finishing) the Woodshed Burger with three kinds of meat at Tim Love's new restaurant, some more orientating, and a case assignment meeting. My desk is already covered with paper. It feels good.

I left the office at 6:40, found my hotel (not bad for 2.5 stars), unpacked my now slightly wrinkled clothes from my suitcase, and set up my toiletries in the bathroom -- where I was confronted with my rumpled, faded, tired reflection in the giant mirror, and, obviously, felt the need to memorialize it all in a super special "first day" photograph:

I'm exhaling because I was tired and my makeup was sad looking, but I could also be impersonating a blowfish like I do for Claire every night at bathtime. I miss her pudgy little hands squishing my cheeks while she cackles with glee. Either way, it seemed an importantly terrible picture to record and show the entirety of the internet.

I was ready for dinner (or rather, the wine that I would order with dinner), so I went to put on jeans, finding that I'd accidentally packed the new pair I just ordered from gap and not my trusty comfy broken-in pair. I wasn't even sure I was going to keep these, but since I couldn't bear to wear my suit pants anymore, and going without wine was not an option, and there is no mini bar in a 2.5 star hotel, I pulled on the jeans, yanked off the tags, and out I went.

To an Italian restaurant located in the parking lot with a tasty house chianti. Some soup, a bunch of complimentary bread, and a dessert mint later, and it's time for bed. It has been a very long, moderately overwhelming, thoroughly wonderful day. I think I'm really, really going to love this job :).

My Spring Break

Yesterday was my last day at the firm. It was more bittersweet than I expected. Despite losing a lot of people in the last year, I still have some good friends that I will miss a lot. I worked hard to build a good reputation for myself (and to be the first to know all the good gossip) and I'll miss that. Friends/co-workers took me out to lunch where we started with a round of red wine (it was rainy and cold, it seemed fitting) and then I opened up a few bottles of champagne in my office at 4, so I ended up with a crowd as I frantically forwarded myself personal emails I needed to save and transferred a bunch of pictures to a thumb drive. We also laughed and reminisced and promised to keep in touch. I'll be missed and that makes me feel sad and warm and fuzzy at the same time. All in all, it was a good 3.5 year chapter of my career, even if I can't say I enjoyed every single minute.

And now we move on to a new city, new job, new most everything. In twelve days we will have closed on the purchase of one house and sale of another. We will own a 70-year-old house in Fort Worth that is in the middle of bathroom and kitchen floor renovations. I will have spent 9 days sitting in a new office at a new desk doing new things. The kids will have spent 5 days in their new daycare. Landon will have gone 5 days without wearing a superhero shirt (new school has a uniform if you're over 3). JP will *hopefully* be connected to the internet and working so seamlessly with the home office that his skeptical boss won't mind at all that he's 2.5 hours away.

All in the next twelve days.

Here's the breakdown:

Monday, 6 a.m. (after losing an hour to the time change the day before): drive out of Austin with 4 days worth of "first days of work" clothes and a Starbucks no fat no foam extra water chai tea latte
Monday, 9 a.m.: pull into parking garage of job in Fort Worth
Monday, 9:15 a.m.: become an SEC attorney

Monday-Thursday a.m.: work; stay in nearby very cheap hopefully safe hotel; try to get some sleep in cheap/safe hotel; don't miss JP and kids too much; try to learn as much as possible as fast as possible; make new friends

Thursday p.m.: close on house in Fort Worth; try not to panic as we get increasingly close to closing date and papers and letters are still needed from various places and I'm trying to work and not seem distracted in a new job; also hope new boss doesn't mind my disappearing for two hours in the afternoon when I already had to ask him for my first Friday off; stay at house long enough for walk through and for newly hired bug man to do thorough spray; go back to work with keys to new house (!)

Thursday later p.m.: drive back to Austin after work

Thursday super much later p.m.: arrive "home" in Austin for the last time (for a while)

Friday 7 a.m.: movers arrive to pack, load, and MOVE (kids will be in daycare, Tex will be at vet getting check-up so neither party is too upset by all the packing of the stuff)
Friday early p.m.: truck is loaded, JP and I pick up kids and dog and head to our next home!
Friday 10 p.m. (estimated): movers finish unloading truck, we all collapse in bed (who am I kidding? I'll be unpacking until I pass out, it's like a sickness)

Saturday 9 a.m.: go buy new fridge as soon as discount interior design warehouse place opens; pick up milk and breakfast for kids on the way
Saturday, 11 a.m.: meet contractor at house to measure floors for renovations (boxes will be everywhere and that ALREADY stresses me out)

Saturday-Sunday, generally: UNPACK (but not anywhere that will be remodeled, argh); keep kids out of pool; restrain jealousy that my parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents are all in Hawaii.

Monday-Thurs: I go to work, JP works from home (if we have internet, oh please let us have internet), kids go to new daycare

Thurs p.m.: we close on sale of the Austin house (oh PLEASE let us close on the sale of the Austin house); renovations begin immediately on Fort Worth house

Sometime in June: everything is renovated, unpacked, partially decorated, and awesome. Until then, it's going to be one heck of a Spring Break.

Thoughts after a Two Martini Lunch

Today was my farewell lunch at the firm. I had a margarita (one and a half frozen margaritas with a sangria swirl if we're getting specific), and it was a huge mistake, because now I'm just blinking at my screen and the piles of stuff strewn about my office waiting to be packed and the forms I need to fill out and wondering how anyone expects me to do anything productive when I just want to kick my feet up on the desk, lean back in my chair and gossip (and/or take a nap, my insomnia has been Kicking My Ass lately). So rather than risk sending any inappropriate tequila-fueled emails to anyone I work with (though there's no guarantees for my restraint during my exit interview in an hour), I thought I'd write a blog post. Because writing a blog post after drinking tequila is always a good idea. (Actually it's violating one of my only cardinal rules of blogging, but what the heck, I have all these Thoughts swimming around and they need to get out.)

Thought 1: I'm wearing the same navy blue shirt dress and 3.5" inch navy heels I wore on my first day of work. Sartorially, I feel I've come full circle.

Thought 2: I've packed up most of my office and filled 7 boxes. The volume surprised me, though I have lived here Monday-Friday for the last 3.5 years, so I suppose it shouldn't.

Thought 3: I have a highly developed gossip and espionage network throughout every office of the firm. I generally know what's happening before anyone else in my section, including the partners in charge, and it's so fun. The head of my section has walked in my office, closed my door, and said, "what are you hearing from Houston?" I feel like an international spy. I will miss it.

Thought 4 and the thing I was going to post about before I had two margaritas and got distracted: How do you tell friends you've had for years, who don't know you have a blog, that you have one? Should you, even? Is it pushy, like you're trying to imply you're writing something worth reading? Or is it nice for them to know it's there, should they want to pop in and see what's going on?

To make this more concrete, let's say you're me, and you're moving and you have good friends you're leaving behind who are into facebook and other online methods of keeping in touch, and these good friends became good friends after you graduated law school and stopped linking your blog to your facebook page, so they don't know you have one because it's never come up and it's not something you just work into a random conversations and now it's been years and it's weird, but you think there's a chance they'd want to read it? but maybe not. so you don't want them to think they need to read it or anything, or that you're even implying you thought they would because really, it's not like I think I'm denying them something by not notifying them of its existence, but there's a nagging thought that hey, it might be nice to throw it out there if they wanted to stop by.

So... thoughts? Bloggers, how do you handle that? Readers, do you like knowing that people you know in real life have blogs? So many people I know read, and I enjoy knowing that they read (though I'm sure there's a lot more people that I talk to in real life that I don't know read the blog, not that it matters either way, but if you're ever uncertain whether you should mention it, I love knowing if someone I know is reading- if anything, because then I don't tell you the same story they just read and they don't have to pretend like they hadn't heard it before. In fact just the other day a friend mentioned a post I wrote and I was like "wait, you read my blog? I had no idea." and it made me happy to know she's a thousand miles away but we're still connected in a bloggy way). (And I like it when people I don't know tell me they're reading- last weekend a lovely woman called out to me in Nordstrom, as I was walking through on my way to Pottery Barn Kids with the Bear, "I know that baby! I read your blog!" It was a totally random sighting and I kind of felt like a celebrity. Plus, I managed to inspect the contents of her shopping bag and found she has excellent taste in nursery decor, which is important (seriously though, congrats on your little one Nordstrom blog reader)).

I just got sidetracked (what was in that margarita? everclear? I usually handle tequila much better than this...), but hopefully maybe my mini dilemma is clear. Is it weird to have someone you've known for four years say, hey, I have this blog? Is it weirder if they don't?

While I wait for your answers, I think I'll turn to drafting my farewell email and filling out my federal paperwork. Because that's definitely something you should do after a few everclear margaritas.

-----

Update!

Picture: I call it "Shoes and Boxes," because I'm creative.

Also, for you google reader people, I updated my blog design! At least a little, along with my About Me and FAQ. Just pretend I'm already in Fort Worth- I'm only a few days off and who knows when I'll get the time and inspiration to update it again.

Landon, 4.5

After my recent posts on the Bear, I thought I'd turn the spotlight on my firstborn for a little bit. Nearly every blogger I read has at some point been accused of loving their younger child more than the older child, largely because of the number of posts featuring the baby over the big kid. But as any parent knows, it's not that you love any child more (well, except occasionally on a superficial level, like when you look at your simple, easy, "if I'm crying it's because I'm hungry, tired, teething, or bored baby" and wish your far more complex 4-year-old could go back to that black-and-white world for a while), it's that it's so much harder to write about an older kid. There's more depth, more contradiction, more personality that's truly theirs. They've become more of themselves and less of an extension of you, and that makes them not only harder to write about, but it also makes me careful about what I share. Because now I'm sharing Landon, the real Landon, not just my impressions, memories, and made-up dialogue of what I think Landon is. So it's a natural process that leads to sharing less, protecting more, that I think will continue as my kids get older. But don't worry, I'll make my own inner dialogue available for as long as you'll read it.

But just because Landon is getting older doesn't mean I don't still occasionally want to freeze him in a moment of internet-time. He has changed a lot from the skinny little baby he once was, but I know he still has a long way to go. At 4.5 (or 4.75 if we want to get technical, which he does), Landon's caring, mellow self still remains at the core. But at 4.5, he's starting to push back, starting to challenge, even going so far as to say, "No." the other day when we asked him to do something. JP and I just sort of blinked at him like, "what? what do you mean, 'No?!'" Claire says no all the time, it's pretty much her favorite word, but it was a first coming from Landon. In other manifestations of belated toddler rebellion, he left his bed for the first time ever and knocked on our room at 2 a.m. Saturday morning. Again we were flummoxed. We had no rules, no method of dealing with a midnight interruption because it had NEVER happened before. He took a toy out of Claire's hands without asking on Sunday. Again, a first. We've reinstituted time-outs and just generally reminded him that all the rules he's been following so nicely for the last 2 years are still fully in effect.

But those moments are still very much the minority for him. He behaves perfectly in public (he'll probably realize he needs to mar that record soon), he shares his toys with Claire and all other friends (one of our recent problems has been that he's always trying to give away his toys to friends, including one awkward moment where he re-gifted a toy back to the same kid who'd given it to him for his birthday; and it wasn't that he didn't like it, I tried to explain to the mother, it's that he really loves it when other people like his stuff too), he dotes on Claire, and he wants to help. But he has a mischievous smile now, a "I know I'm not supposed to do this but I'm thinking about doing it anyway because I want to see what you'll do" smile, that is both maddening and a little bit charming at the same time.

Two Fridays ago he went to our nanny's indoor soccer game (JP and I were stuck in traffic on our way home from Fort Worth). She sent this picture and a text that read, "Landon isn't even trying and he is being smothered by all the ladies while watching the trapeze."

Natalie said that Landon was sitting on this bench, watching the trapeze class (apparently there is a trapeze by the indoor soccer field? I don't know), when a little girl came to sit next to him. Landon scooted away, she scooted closer, Landon scooted further, another girl joined him on the other side. He was trapped, so he settled in and kept his focus on the trapeze while the girls took turns gazing at him. Natalie said she was cracking up, and JP, always a shy one with the ladies (I was his first date), puffed with pride.

Despite a rather lackluster introduction to soccer (Landon was the least competitive kid on the team; he was okay with being there, he just really didn't care who had the ball or where the ball was going, absolutely confounding his insanely competitive father. JP didn't care if Landon was good or not, he just truly didn't understand why Landon didn't want to kick the ball. It was like being told the color blue wasn't what he'd always thought it was- he was baffled), Landon talks excitedly about playing again. He loves riding his bike. He LOVES to run. He likes to show us his super hero tricks before bed:

He has finally decided he likes TV and movies, but he still shows zero interest in my iPhone or computer. (Claire on the other hand can unlock my iPhone and stole our host's iPad at a party we went to on Saturday night and figured out how to switch screens and games in a few minutes. Landon never even looked over to see what she was doing, as he was far to busy playing "power ranger ninjas" with the other boys- technology does nothing for him.) He LOVES people, is never shy, and talks to everyone we see. He peppers everyone we meet with questions and we've had to explain many times what are and are not appropriate questions to ask people we don't know (or to ask anyone ever).

He seems to understand the move. He's excited that someone else will live in our house and he's super excited that we are moving to a house with a pool and can't wait to get bunk beds and share a room with Claire. He loves to listen to books, but has no interest in sounding out words for himself. His favorite thing about school is "playing outside," but when pressed, he can answer any of the questions his teachers ask about the letters, numbers, etc. He's the playtime leader of his peer group, creating elaborate make-believe situations involving knights, princesses, and ninjas. He runs around the playground with a plastic rake stuck down the back of his shirt, pretending it's a sword he can pull out to fight a bad guy, but really looking like a peacock with plastic feathers sticking up behind his head.

He wants a kiss from both of us before bed, he loves to snuggle on the couch between JP and me, covered in throw pillows while watching Tangled, and he has to be in front when we got on a walk. He is sweet and generous and occasionally frustrating as all hell. He is Landon and he is 4.5.

Saying Goodbye and Other To Do's

Yesterday morning we attended a farewell playdate for Landon, organized by some moms in his class. I'm so glad they thought of it. It was low key and simple, with fruit and juice and crackers, and a perfect way to spend some time with these parents we've been seeing at drop-off and pick-up and a million birthday parties over the past 3 years. We chatted and laughed and let the kids run amok under our intermittent supervision.

Landon and one of his best buds

Leaving this daycare community makes me ache a little. These kids have been together for 3 years and they all get along so well. The parents are friendly and fun. And Claire is universally adored little mascot. Seriously, she got as much attention at the farewell party as Landon.

crazy bear


release!

I love people and I like making new friends, but the thought of starting over from scratch in Fort Worth is a little overwhelming. After nearly 4 years in Austin we have so many friends, so many acquaintances, and so many recognizable faces and contacts. From babysitters, to our nanny, to our dentist, to our doctors... I don't want to find new ones!

And speaking of finding new everything, I spent 6 hours on Friday calling every utility company and service provider in Fort Worth to get everything set up. I feel like we're hemorrhaging money via start-up fees, but we're getting closer to move-in ready. If move-in ready is satisfied by electricity and trash collection.

I've been watching HGTV while Claire sleeps and am overwhelmed by all the decorating that will need to be done in the new house. It's such a different style from our current one, and the floor plan and living spaces are so different, I just want to sell all of our furniture and start over. I know it's okay if our house isn't perfect the first weekend we move in, and most people take their time and fix rooms over a period of years, but it's going to drive me crazy. I did finally join pinterest to keep track of all the furniture and decor I'm finding and loving, but what I really need is a budget interior designer who will do all the shopping for me and create awesome looking end tables out of frying pans like I just saw Sabrina Soto do on The High Low Project. I do not have the talent, time, or creativity to create spaces like that and it's making me sad. Our house has such potential! I just need to be patient and practical and live with rooms that aren't matching, styled, and/or accessorized until I have the time and money to make it happen. And the design skills to make it all as awesome as I think it could be. We could be waiting a long time for that last one...

So since I can't buy any furniture until we get through the moving costs and do the necessary renovations (and pay our tax bill and repair our savings account), I'm spending my time obsessing over the floor plan and where and how I'll place our current furniture. I have charts and diagrams but still no real plan. We're moving to a place with roughly the same square feet, but fewer rooms and very different dimensions. Quandaries abound.

The one thing I have purchased for the house? Pool toys! I feel confident and qualified in my selections there. Slightly less confident in the bikini I currently have sitting in my online shopping cart, but we'll see.

Short-timer

I have 7 days left in my office. When I started at the firm on September 2, 2008 I honestly never thought I'd leave. I knew it was a possibility, floating out there in the ether, but I didn't really think I'd do it. I liked being an associate and I was good at it. Every case was my favorite case, at least until the end when I was on a case in a different section in a different area of law and I finally realized that being a mid-level associate kind of sucks. You get enough authority to be the one at fault if anything goes wrong, but none of the credit if they go well. Still, for years 1-3, I loved my work and was possessive and proud of my cases. I constantly tried to think of more ways to help, ways to make things easier and more organized. I was a chart queen. I could find any document anyone had ever thought they'd seen that was related to the case. I always wanted to do more. I'm not sure if it's just that that type of attitude cannot survive in BigLaw, or if I might still be that way if I'd been able to continue to work on the types of cases I enjoyed, but I look at formerly eager me and kind of shake my head in bemused wonder. It took 3 years, but by the end of last year when I was being volunteered to write all the post-trial briefs for my huge IP case I wanted to unplug my phone, close my door, and hide under my desk. No more, please, no more.

I had my year-end review last week. They weren't going to give me one since I'm leaving and all the partners are mad, but I worked hard last year and those reviews are a pain to fill out, so I wanted to hear what people had to say, particularly since nearly all of that work was in a brand new area of law full of people I had to prove myself to over and over in order to gain substantive assignments. And I got them, and despite all of the misery of that case- working until 4 a.m., winning motions, and then getting screwed out of going to trial- I credit it for 90% of the substantive, learning experiences I've had at the firm. It also provided all of my responses to interview questions at the SEC, and the kick in the ass I needed to apply for that job in the first place. So I'm grateful for the experience and I'm proud of the work I was able to do. One reviewer in that group said "LL is an immensely talented writer" and "has the unique ability to treat each new assignment - no matter what it is - as a new learning experience." Given the ups and downs of that case, and the times I sat in my office wondering how in the hell I was going to be able to write this brief and make the arguments we wanted to make, it was really nice to hear those words. (And to know I won't be working with them again.)

In the past I've felt like a defender of large law firms. And I still think they can be a great place to work. Yeah the hours suck, but you're paid for it and the hours aren't so great at smaller shops either, and the work can be awesome. You can bill entire days to writing legal briefs- wrestling with facts and case holdings and legal theories to your nerdy heart's content. I also had the opportunity to work with some truly brilliant lawyers. I could absolutely see myself coming back to the world of BigLaw again, but as a partner or counsel, not an associate. I will not miss having to pretend like "each new assignment is a unique learning experience," even if it means my acting skills are going to get a little rusty. I'll still be working hard at the SEC, but it will be different. Different work, different environment, different schedule. No clients, no entering time, no pretending I'm thrilled to be drafting a Motion to Compel over something nobody cares about. No time stolen from my family to do a crap assignment on a Saturday afternoon that no one thought of until that moment. No time stolen from my family in general- no checking a blackberry outside of work hours, no checking the cancellation policies when booking a vacation, no being half-present when I'm with them but waiting for an email from a client or partner. They kids are getting older, Landon is going to start having more activities, Claire would already like to play full contact sports- I want to be there for that, and I want to do it while still having a career of my own. And crazy enough, this next position will allow for that while furthering my career farther and faster than the firm every could. Sometimes it all makes me so happy I could cry.

I just got boxes and bubble tape delivered to my office to pack it up. I have more here than I thought- 10 million pictures of Landon and Claire, art, diplomas, two lamps, books, boxes and boxes of tea, vases from floral deliveries... 12 days from today I'll be in a new office, probably a little terrified to actually have to DO the job I managed to convince my seven interviewers I could handle.

But it's going to be fun, and with every day that I get closer to my new job, I realize just how done I was with my current one. Twelve days.