Sunday, February 13, 2011

on my mind

It's late, my insomnia has been killing me lately, and I've decided to write about something I've been thinking about a lot but wouldn't normally blog about yet because it's so very far from a sure thing. (I'm assuming my exhaustion level will be so high by the time I finish this that I'll hit publish without thinking too hard about whether or not I should.)

You see, I have news. Kind of. It's an opportunity that presented itself nearly two months ago, and since it came about because of this blog, it seems appropriate that I should discuss it with you all: I've been asked to write a book.

Now, I've actually never had any aspirations to write a book. None at all. I like to write and love to read, but I've never thought much of combining the two- at least not beyond blogging (which is only Writing in the loosest sense, as the grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and frequent run-on sentences sprinkled throughout my archives prove; I'm a much more precise and careful writer at work, I promise) and the writing I do at work (I just published another article on that front actually, but they're short and extremely legal). This would be longer (much longer) and more personal and the sheer magnitude of it scares me.

There are other things that scare me about it as well. Mainly, the proposed topic. It's probably easiest to just copy the email that was sent to me by the agent. She's a fellow UChicago law grad who now works at a well known literary agency in New York (they represent several of our RRA authors, funny enough, not that mine would be in that category):

". . . I don’t remember how I first discovered it, but I’ve been reading your blog for years now — since you were going through everything with DCFS — and I’m a big fan of you and your writing. I honestly don’t know how you have the time to write so consistently with two kids and an incredibly demanding job, but I’m glad you do! A new post from you is always the highlight of my day.

I’m writing to you now because I’m wondering if you’ve ever been approached by an agent about writing a book. As I said, I think your writing is very strong, and I believe that you have a story to tell. I envision the book centering around what you went through with DCFS and Landon, but more broadly about your life in general—meeting JP in college, getting married young, having a family and facing these huge grown-up problems. . ."

She adds that I could probably repurpose many of my old blog posts, so it might not be as much work as it sounds, and the blog-to-book genre is very popular right now. I've spoken with her by phone and exchanged a few more emails and she is very excited about the idea, as is her boss (who is the big name agent in the company). In fact I think she might have enough enthusiasm for the both of us, which is probably good because I, I'm just not sure.

Number one, I have a hard time believing anyone would want to read it. I average about 1,000-1,500 hits a day on the blog, but I figure many of those are miss hits, people who know me personally, and people (like me) who enjoy blogs but don't usually read memoirs. I'm trying not to be a wimp and reveal how afraid of failure I am, but well, I don't usually fail and that's partially because I tend to only do things I know I'm good at.

Relatedly, I wonder why anyone would want to read this story. It's sad and scary and depressing. It ends well, of course, but it certainly doesn't fit my personal reading requirements of quick, fluffy, and don't make me think or feel anything too deep.

But let's say I trust my would-be agent and her boss, and move past the insecurities of "but what if no one wants to read it?" The real question is, can I write it? I've now read my archives from that time and I think I can mentally handle going back there. It would almost be like writing a story about someone else - the LL of October 2007. I already think of her as a different person. I have mental impressions from that time that are completely divorced from any feeling or identification with the woman I see sobbing on the floor of our living room in Wicker Park. It's hard to explain, but I view the woman crying on the floor from the outside, not from her perspective. I feel sorry for her, but I don't feel her sadness or fear. Reading my archives actually helped with that. I got caught up in the story and it was so foreign from every other time in my life, it was much easier to read it as someone else's.

So I'm pretty sure I could write it. My next stumbling block is the idea of reducing my life - a life that has otherwise been so perfect and happy and marvelously mundane - to what was really an aberration. Something that shouldn't have happened, that was never explained, and that now has nothing to do with us. That aberration would be my book. The only book I'll probably ever write and probably the future top result when you google my name. Right now it's only "LL" and a DCFS nightmare that are forever connected through google key terms searches. This would be my name. I'd lose a lot of anonymity, and almost certainly the anonymity of my little blog, and you can't get that back.

But now that I'm thinking about all this, I think my two biggest fears boil down to these: (1) a fear that I'll be seen as whoring out this one really shitty time in my life and trying to make it into something bigger, and more dramatic than it really was; and (2) a fear of those interweb whispers, the generally anonymous ones, bringing up doubts and JP and me. Over three years later, there's no solid answer to clear our name and resolve the story- to this day no one knows how Landon's ribs broke, and that question mark haunts me for this project. Not because I have any doubts about us, of course, but because I fear others will. And maybe it's only five out of a million, and maybe they shouldn't matter (well, I know they shouldn't matter)-- but while I think I can handle writing the story, I also know I can't handle the headfuck that is reading someone's doubts about me or JP with regard to it. Although maybe it would be easier now, on this side of things, than it was to read that stuff back when we were in the grips of it.


This all sounds so much more negative than I feel, because despite everything I just wrote, I continue thinking about this hypothetical book every day. When I'm driving, when I'm lying in bed at night... I've planned my first chapter, how I'd progress the story, how I'd end it. I enjoy writing and I've been given an opportunity to do something with it. I've always taken a very predictable, very risk free approach to life, maybe I should be open to this little side path...

It would involve a ton of work, and while I'd have an agent, it's not like there's publishers lined up - there's still plenty of question marks along the way. The biggest one probably being will I even try? Will I take the first step and finally call back my would-be agent (whom I already love for understanding my fears and not pressuring me while still making the occasional contact just to let me know she's still excited on her end) and tell her I'm ready to start putting together a proposal?

I honestly don't know.


  1. The good - This could potentially make you very comfortable financially and give you some personal writing pleasure.
    The bad - This will open you up to all the haters. There will be people hell bent on bringing you down and exposing everything about you.

    I look at people like The Pioneer Woman, who have obviously worked very hard and gotten very far and then there are websites that exist solely to bring her down or expose her secrets.

    Fame is a hungry bitch unfortunately.

  2. If I was you, I wouldn't worry about failing and whether you could do this (because you probably won't fail and because you can do it), but I would worry about the haters and doubters. If you are willing to loose your anonomity and think you can handle the doubters and haters, go for it. If not, then don't.

    --A Loyal Reader (since 2007)

  3. hey LL, congrats on getting that call. well deserved, i think--i know i've truly enjoyed keeping up with your blog for years now.

    one other angle that i thought of while reading your post: how do you think landon and claire--especially landon--would feel about this book being out in the world when he's older? not sure that it would be positive or negative or even matter, but just another angle.

    good luck with your decision!

  4. I also thought about what JP thinks, since he would be part of this book.

    --Loyal Reader again

  5. I think you're a wonderful writer and I'd buy your book. But my gut instinct reading this was, if I were you, I wouldn't write about DCFS. Maybe that's just my repressed Puritan streak, but you guys seem really happy now and you have a great life, and I wonder what's to be gained for you by writing THAT book. I bet you have lots of other topics you could write about - heck, what about a historical fiction? Or working mom in law school, a funny memoir? Good luck! Amazing that an agent contacted you!!!

  6. Hi LL! As others have said, sincere congrats on this opportunity. You do indeed have a lovely, straighforward writing style/voice, and I can see why a blog-to-book would make sense. Go you! :)

    Not that you've asked for advice, but here's my very first impression for what it's worth: honestly, I think it is odd to focus on the DCFS fiasco for a book about your "story". Of course, generally, books do tend to need drama/conflict to propel them forward, but like you mentioned, that particular drama was just not "you", it was an outlier in the mass of wonderful things that make up your story. It would seem a shame to zero in on that one-and-only bad thing.

    On the other hand, it could be therapeutic, but that's its own thing. Plus, it would be cool for an even greater number of readers to be able to appreciate your writing!

    In any case, very best of luck! You're awesome LL! Keep up the happy, lovely, good work! :)

  7. No matter what you decide, it *is* something you can do and do well. And in shaping your narrative, you may find the process healing, too.


  8. Wow. I don't know what I would do either.

    I hear what you're saying about being irrevocably, publicly connected with your DCFS nightmare, and I know you've put it behind you. I do think it's an important story to tell -- I know that after hearing what you went through, I learned about so many other stories like that. I had no idea how terrifying it could be, being at the whim of the system. But that doesn't mean that you have to be the one to tell it, or that it has to be you alone.

    Best of luck, whatever you decide.

  9. This is a very casual (and insomnia-fueled; I'm so nocturnal in the winter) answer on my part, but I'd say "Don't do it."

    A blog should be a blog, not a book. I agree with your idea that you wouldn't want to read such a book, and so never write a book you wouldn't want to read. Don't let IP-hungry publishers try to wrap you up into a nice package that they can profit from. What you've written on your blog, you own. But, a book is something that they own having paid you to make it for them.

    I've only been a reader for a year or two, and I say keep looking forward in terms of your personal and family life.

    Best in whatever you choose.

  10. So cool! Congratulations!!!! But don't re tool your blog posts - it wouldn't be very cohesive to do that...

  11. I was reading your blog long before the nightmare and I remember the doubters/haters and I echo CM's comment.

    Regardless, congratulations on getting the call. It is really nice to have the option and probably feels good to have the recognition.

    Best of luck in whatever you decide.

  12. My gut instinct would be a big, resounding NO. As others, and yourself, have pointed out, you stand to lose any anonymity you have, making your life public fodder for internet gossipmongers. The DCFS story belongs to you and JP and Landon, and to put it out there is essentially inviting people to comment, criticize, and judge you on a terrible situation that you have pretty successfully managed to put behind you. I would not dredge that up, if for no other reason than that it didn’t just happen to you—it also happened to Landon. He owns part of the story--does he want to grow up and know that the whole world can know what happened to his family, and be able to read comments from people all over the internet saying that he never should have been returned to his parents? Maybe he would have no problem with it, but once it’s out there, you can’t take it back. Don’t let your whole happy life be defined in print by this one terribly sad incident. A book? Sure. A book specifically about that time in your life? Well, don’t let the allure of a challenge sway you to do something that’s not 100% right for your family.

  13. My instinct is also no.
    First, however much work you are prepared for, it will most likely be even more than you imagine- deadlines that could coincide with busy periods at work etc. Second, it’s possible that in order to market it to a sufficient audience you would lose some control in the editing phase which you might be uncomfortable with. Lastly, it seems like this could be really hard on JP and Landon. The doubt etc that will inevitably arise will not be focused on you, but instead on JP- is he ready and willing for that? It seems like you have things pretty good right now, this seems likely to only upset the careful balance you have worked for.

  14. LL,

    If JP does not object, go for it. I love your writing style and your optimism. I am confident that you will find a way to put a positive spin to the end of your difficult phase. You are evidence that bad things happen to good people, and your book may help some good people out there see that better times are ahead.

    Don't forget the financials. Yes, money does not buy happinness.But it certainly makes it easier to be happy. If your book sells(I pledge to buy two copies:-),it will be wonderful to have the option to pay off those loans quicker.

    As for the ill wishers, they will always be there, book or no book.

  15. I'd do it. And Landon will read it. And he will probably be glad to have the whole story there, with all your doubts and fears out in the open. But I realize it is a really tough call. If it scares you badly to think of Landon reading it, then that's your answer. If it doesn't, then ... .

  16. And of course I mean late-teen Landon.

  17. Another vote for no, just because it's a decision you can't take back if you regret it. And you can't imagine now what possible things might come of this. I especially agree with the commenter that the suspicion will be on JP. There will definitely be haters.

    I think you should feel incredibly proud to have even gotten the call (email)!! I do believe that you could write a book on something else -- your writing is great. But this seems like a rough topic and it's so hard to tell what could possibly come from it.

    All that being said, what's JP think? Whatever you choose, I know you'll do what's right for your family and situation.

  18. I do think that telling the DCFS story would be beneficial. But I don't think that it goes in the middle of a book about your life. You're (no offense) pretty ordinary. Sure, you have a good voice and writing style and can talk entertainingly about growing up and law school and finances and parenting, but a million other people have also done those things.

    Your compelling story is the DCFS story. What happened to you was simultaneously (1) shocking and (2) not nearly as uncommon as it should be. If you write a book, it should be a book that begins with your story and then explores the stories of other families that have had similar experiences with DCFS in many states. It's a problem-exposing/activism book, not just a memoir.

    My two cents.

  19. Right after my first comment I wrote a second, but it got eaten... which was, of course on reflection there could be advantages too, like sharing the story with others who've gone through it. My first comment was just my first instinct - hope you don't mind me sharing since I realise you're not asking our advice! Good luck whatever you choose!

  20. I am a very private person. SO private in fact that when I had the idea to sign up for HGTV's Dream Home giveaway... i stopped short because the fine print talked about having to be in commercials, make appearances, etc. as the winner. Seriously. What are the odds that I would have won? and if I did win, would I really NOT want $500,000 and a beautiful home just because I would be exposed to the media?

    THAT would be my biggest concern, losing privacy. IN regards to the haters...If anything, I think there would be an outpouring of support and people would be coming forward to tell you THEIR story. The "haters" that you speak of are anonymous people on the internet. The media, etc. would most likely support your story.

    I do agree with everything else that the book shouldn't center on the DCFS thing. Obviously that would be a part of the story, a catalyst for growth, etc. but it shouldn't be in the title, you know what I mean?

    One more thing.. if your blog becomes public/known.. how would you feel? You've talked about your ILs, some about your work. I know you haven't crossed the line into bashing or anything, but sometimes subtle things that are said can hurt you too. Just food for thought.

    Congrats on getting the invitation to write a book though! I definitely think in some way or another you should take the offer. Just figure out a way to make it work for you. Imagine all the loans you could pay off!!!

  21. Think too about how revealing your story might affect you in the workplace. Your colleagues, who you have to work with every day, and the respect of whom, as a junior associate I assume you are still trying to win, may look at you differently. I'm sure some of them would be sympathetic to your story... but what of your desire to cash in? That may not be your take on what you'd be doing, but some may view it tht way. You've worked hard at the firm... putting yourself out there publicly may diminish you in some peoples' eyes and undue your hard work. Just my two cents.

  22. As many have said, you didn't really ask for advice. But, I will add my two cents, as well. First, the opportunity is amazing, and you should pat yourself on the back just for being approached. That is awesome.

    BUT, it seems to me that you have more to lose than you have to gain. The things that you have to lose have no price tag, but seem worth a lot more than the money or fame that a book deal would bring. If you were financially desperate, and this was the only way you knew to keep a house and keep food on your table, then that would be a different story. But, that doesn't seem to be the case. I just am really very concerned that this could blow up in your face, and possibly do more harm than good. And why even take that risk?

    I also have a confession; I began reading when Amalah linked to you during the nightmare. And, I was someone who initially thought that you seemed to be too calm, too rational, too detached for the circumstances. I was a doubter. I wondered if it wasn't some weird Munchausen-type scenario. I wondered quietly. I am a therapist, and in the business of healing people, not tearing them down. And, as I continued to read, and got to "know" you, those doubts went away. You just ARE an incredibly calm, rational person, who probably was detached in a major way as a coping mechanism.

    You wanna right a book? Write about your in-laws. THAT is a story I'm still wanting to read. :)

  23. As much as I would love to read a book by you (I've been a long-time reader) I agree with the others that it's not a good idea. As the above poster said, think of the implications in the workplace. As you said, once your name is out there, the book and your story will be the first thing that comes up on a Google search. Will that turn off potential clients? Will your employer be willing to deal with the haters and the controversy?
    As much as the agent may be trying to downplay the DCFS angle right now, let's be honest...that's what is going to sell the book. Not a memoir of someone who got married young and had a baby in law school.
    Whatever you decide, what an honor to be asked!

  24. Sorry, I got distracted in typing my comment (stupid work!), and didn't get to finish my point above... my point was that I tend to consider myself a fairly non-judgmental person. Of course I have my moments, but... overall, I like to consider myself open and non-judgmental. And, if I had doubts back in the day, I fear how many more would. I just think it would be best to not open yourself up to that kind of criticism.

  25. No overall advice, you'll make a good decision. But I would ask the publishing house a lot of questions about what kind of publicity you (and JP) would be required to do to promote the book, and try and envision yourself doing those interviews. Even if DCFS was just a part of the book, that would be most of what the local radio hosts, newspaper reporters, bloggers, would ask about. And they might not ask nicely.

  26. Just a quick note to say Thank You for candidly sharing your thoughts so far. The good, the bad, the worries- it's exactly what I wanted to hear from you, because there's only so much thinking about it I can do in my own head. Your comments have already helped me sort the concerns I already had, add some new ones I didn't, get rid of some I think I'm okay with... basically they're making some order in the area of my brain that is currently dominated by this possibility. You know how much I love order, so thanks, truly.

  27. I am a reader that initially found you from a link during the DCFS fiasco too. Yours was really the first blog I ever followed fervently and still is my favorite to see in my RSS feed folder. I would love to read a book written by you. However, I tend to agree that I wouldn't write your life story centered on the DCFS fiasco. I think book that takes a good look at the DCFS system from kind of a journalistic standpoint, with your story and other stories thrown in would be good -- I would read that. Your intelligence and perceptive writing style would bring some attention to a system that is needlessly shrouded in mystery.

    Best of luck to you whatever you decide!

  28. LL...don't do it sweetie.

  29. I don't think there is much risk in pursuing this because frankly, I think it would have a very limited audience. I have considered writing my story (daughter murdered by husband, two kids orphaned when father commits suicide in jail, raised by me [grandma], turned out to be high-achieving fabulous kids. I wrote about the events around the murder/suicide, not published, but the kids read it as teen-agers, and found it useful for integrating their history (which they had known all along). Was told that unless there was a mass murder or a famous person involved, it wouldn't sell.
    You are a gifted writer -- don't waste that talent. Think maybe along the lines of Diana Gabaldon marries John Grisham and they divide their time between Texas and Chicago with side trips to lake houses in Texas and Wisconsin! You could think of the DCFS story as training, but don't quit your day job over it!

  30. I posted earlier, but wanted to chime back in to agree with some other points. First, that I also believe JP would bear the brunt of any negative reaction. Also, your story does not have a clear resolution--yes, charges were dropped and you got your son back. But like you said, no one ever found out where the broken ribs came from. There is no "proof" that you were innocent. I say this as a reader who fully believes in your innocence, but like Wendy, I started reading during that time and also had doubts. I didn't know your style then--now I have a better idea of who you are as a person, but are readers of a book with no longstanding "relationship" with you going to have that? And what conclusions will they be led to without any proof? I agree with others that your story may be fine to publish as part of a bigger picture with other people's similar stories, but I don't think you want to become the focus of a book about it. Again, my two cents, but I think this is a Pandora's box that is better left alone.

  31. Okay I have a million thoughts on this (gee, shocker, I never have opinions on anything!).

    First off let me just say that I think this would be WONDERFUL. I love blogs and love memoirs. I would read your book in a heartbeat.

    Now - as to your hesitations:
    "Relatedly, I wonder why anyone would want to read this story. It's sad and scary and depressing. It ends well, of course, but it certainly doesn't fit my personal reading requirements of quick, fluffy, and don't make me think or feel anything too deep."

    THAT, my friend, is LIFE. Life is sad, and it's scary, and it can be downright depressing. And a lot of the time, It doesn't have a happy ending. But your story? You have a happy ending! A very happy ending with a beautiful and healthy and happy and thriving Landon and an absolutely adorable biscuit.

    THAT is why people would want to read your story.

    I respectfully am going to have to completely disagree with an earlier commenter who suggested leaving out the part about DCFS. Because you can't ignore that that happened. And having being a reader for several years now, I believe that it shaped you. It certainly shaped how you approached your pregnancy/childbirth with the Biscuit, right?
    And a similar nightmare could happen to anyone. And is likely happening to someone RIGHT NOW. What if your story helps them through it?

    All this being said, I'd totally understand why you'd decide not to write the book.
    Either way - we'll support you no matter what you decide to do. If you write it, we'll read it, and if not, we'll still be here reading your corner of the interwebz. :)

  32. I've never written to you before although I read your blog every day.
    I think you should write the book. Not because of the DCFS stuff, although I understand why they want that as the hook. I think you should write it because you write about being a working parent with such joy.
    I've raised three kids and I'm a successful professional woman. Do you know how little there is out there about the sheer joy of it all. It's all how hard it is or why you shouldn't do it. You are a voice of fresh air. Life is good. Two great kids, a husband, a demanding job. You're tired, you are pulled in many directions but what comes through, time after time, is how much you love all of it. That's new in the book world.
    My only concern would be Landon. So, perhaps this is the perfect time. A little too young to feel any furor and by the time he is old enough it will have passed.
    I don't think most episodes of child abuse have clear answers and I think that you will find more parents relating to your story than rejecting it. We've all had the kid with the embarassing bruise that we are sure is going to result in trouble. I doubt if you will have any public criticism greater than you have had on your blog (and I don't know about those since when I read those entries I didn't read the comments). People are much crueler and more judgmental when they can't be held accountable.
    I promise I will buy and read a copy. If, it's available for the Kindle!

  33. Would you get an expense account for office supplies? Sorry, a small bit of humor. I read the other comments. After reading your post, it made me nervous for you. And I'm just a reader who enjoys your annonymous blog. I have no doubt you can do it, and it would be interesting, but....everything above.

  34. Give it a shot - you never know what would come of it. Worst case scenario is you don't have a book at the end of it. (Also if the focus of the work shifts at all that a variety of persepctives on social work, etc. is necessary, let me know. I represent JFS as an attorney and prosecutor and I know many people formerly of that arena and on all sides of the cases that we see and could hook you up with a variety of sources.)

  35. I wouldn't do it... for the reasons described above. But a huge compliment!!

  36. What a fabulous compliment to have been given! It's not everyday someone gets approached to write a book. I'm all about the "life is short", "don't let an opportunity pass you by" philosophy. But with that said....

    Like a few others who already posted, I began reading your blog when Amalah linked to you during the midst of the DCFS upheaval that was your life. I was captivated by your story and tuned in each day for updates, praying for good news.

    Any DCFS story is indeed a story worth telling. I think people would read your story. After all, haven't you already told the story? Haven't people already read it?
    You've already told this story, in your own way. You own it, don't give it away. You've admitted that you are now detached from that person in 2007, which I think will take away from retelling the story. You'll be merely a narrator.
    And I agree with a previous commenter, this story also belongs to JP and Landon. JP can give his blessing, but Landon cannot.

    I've remained attached to your little family and continue to religiously tune in for updates and I enjoy reading about your perfectly ordinary and wonderful life.

  37. One thought that no one seems to have mentioned. Will you be prepared to deal with the inevitable response you will receive from others who have horror stories from DCFS? You will likely hear from other people who have been in your situation. But you also should be prepared to be contacted by people who feel (incorrectly) that they are being unjustly accused by DCFS and want your help. You might be seen as a spokesperson. Do you want that role?

  38. Hm, I wouldn't think of it as whoring that whole DCFS scenario for whatever success may come of it. Think of it as sharing your experience. Think of all the good people that something bad has happened to in this manner, they've been under suspicion for something horrendous and might benefit from you sharing your story.

    Think of how you might have felt back in the day, if someone had given you a copy of a similar story to read. Would that have comforted you? Would you have felt less lonely? Would you have more faith in yourself and your husband in that bad time, reading a similar account?

    If you think "yes", you have every reason to do it. There might be haters, but they will be a minority. And you can deal with that. You've dealt with worse. Imho.

  39. Just a question - why couldn't the book be "anonymous" as well?

    While I completely understand the posters who say no, I also agree wholeheartedly with those that see the DCFS story as one that could benefit a lot of people. It would certainly have a lot more substance than the typical fluffy memoir (and I mean that as a good thing.)

  40. Just caught up with all of this. Congratulations. My first reaction was a bit of jealousy! Then I remembered that I would have had to go through The Nightmare to be in your position, and felt a little different.

    Although I would personally agonize over it for weeks, I would probably not do it because of the reasons people have elaborated about the attention on you and particularly JP, which might last for a long time and sometimes be not nice at all. With a journalistic focus on other stories too, it might be very interesting, but a project like that would need a leave of absence from work for sure.

    Anyway, as you may recall, I did shop a short story collection to agents a couple years ago and learned a lot from that process, so if there's anything you want to talk about - you know where to find me :)

  41. I didn't read all the comments but here's what struck me - we talked briefly once about me writing a blog post that would include your DCFS story along with an experience a close friend of mine had. That never happened because despite my best plans...

    Anyway, in my work digesting decisions for the Barristers' Library I recently came across a case that reminded me a lot of Landon's. There was no explanation for how the baby was injured but I'm quite sure the injuries were similar to Landon's (although I don't have the case in front me now) and the parents were adamant that neither they nor anyone who had access to the baby had hurt her. While that case was working its way through the courts Mom had a second baby, who was also apprehended by Children's Aid (as we call it here). Both the trial and appeal decisions made mention of the parents' testimony that sometimes babies are just born with ... I'm pretty sure it was broken ribs.

    Anyway, the parents had a Legal Aid lawyer which probably explains why there was no expert evidence called on their behalf. And without the expert eveidence, I don't need to tell you how the story ended. For both kids.

    Now I don't know whether these parents were actually abusive or not but it sure reminded me of your story. And it now makes me think that perhaps (just perhaps) a greater good could come from you most widely disseminating your story. I don't know if a book is the right answer for your family or if there might be some other format that could accmplish the same purpose but ... something to think about.

  42. I also found you when Amalah linked to you during your nightmare, but you SHOULD write a book because of your voice and your amazing clarity-- not just because of the nightmare. You have an excellent-- and pretty rare-- ability to reflect on your own life with critical distance. At the same time, you never sound any older than you actually are, if that makes sense.

  43. This article about Dooce includes discussion of how she has navigated chronicling her child's life on the blog as the kid (who as an infant was the catalyst for her blog) gets older and runs from the camera.