Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens...

James and I wrapped presents one night last week and with that, our holiday preparations are done! The kids were so excited to see the gifts by the tree that morning and there have been LOTS of guesses as to what each box or bag might contain (you're allowed to touch and gently move the gifts for name identification purposes only, but no lifting or shaking; I did not make up these rules).

And so in the spirit of gift-giving and favorite things I thought I'd round up a few of my favorite online stores and items in hopes of finding some new ones of my own. I also have a $50 Amazon gift card that am determined to spend on something purely for myself, so I would love to hear your favorite things- an indulgence or practicality (I looooove a good hot nightly bath, candles, cozy things, tea, cute but comfortable clothing, fuzzy socks that might actually keep my chilly feet warm...) that would be a post-holiday treat. But what are the things you're most excited to give this year? Or most hoping to receive?

Sweet gifts from a friend

Rakuten. First up, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Rakuten (formerly Ebates). At my last check I've amassed a lifetime cash back total of $3,479.03 just by doing my normal online shopping. The cash back changes based on the store and day (Shutterfly was 15% the other day! usually it's 1% and Target, which is usually 1% was 5% yesterday, and Ebags was 20%(!!) on a day I happened to go buy a new suitcase) and you get a check in the mail every quarter. No financial informatoin is exchanged, you just use a link from the Rakuten website or app to go to your store and shop so your total can be tracked. This is my referral code- we both get $20 if you use it, but seriously, make sure you pay yourself for being the person in your family who probably does everyone's shopping.

Vuori. I heard of this brand for the first time when work-from-home first began. Desperate for lounge clothes that I could wear to take Maggie outside for potty breaks (not that my neighbors didn't see plenty of me in plaid PJ pants) I ordered joggers and a pair of long lounge pants they now don't seem to sell. The joggers were so soft, but too short (my legs are too long to look good in anything but full-length leggings; nothing hits at the rigth spot), but LOVE the loose lounge pants and wear them nearly every day. I got James this pair of pants for Christmas (shhh) and they are so soft and light and smooth that I occasionally take them out of the box just to pet them. I just saw they now have "long" joggers, so I may end up with another treat-yourself kind of item in the new year...

Free Fly. I've had the Bamboo Weekend Pullover for about 18 months and wore it all spring and summer. It's so light and breathable and I love the sun protection that's comfortable even in warm weather. (I hiked a mountain in sunny humid Curacao wearing that shirt and it's the only reason I wasn't burned.). This Black Friday I treated myself to a new offering- the Bamboo Thermal Fleece Pullover and it's possible I wore it every day last week (with the Vuori pants).

Blenders Sunglasses. I received the North Park - Rose Theater ones as a gift from a friend and loved them so much that 2 years later I finally bought an identical replacement pair and treated myself to the A Series - High Class Jes before Curacao and I love them both. (I got James these and he wears them every day. I've always been able to get them at least 40% off, so if you're interested, wait for a sale.) They're fun and well made and not so expensive that you have to beat yourself up if you lose them in a lake like I did once earlier this year.

Skinceuticals Emollience. I've tried many a moisturizer and always come back to this one. It's light and smooth but super moisturizing and nothing else feels as good going on my dry winter skin.

Nars Powermatte Lip Pigment - Save the Queen. I discovered this lipstick through a Sephora sample and now I have the full size in this great mauve-y color. It's matte, stays for hours, looks great on Zoom, and doesn't rub off on your mask. On days I want to look less like a pale, washed out attorney working in a dark corner of her bedroom, I pull this out and it makes me feel fancy.

We do a "Favorite Things" party with my mama friends each year. You can spend up to $25 on your "favorite thing(s)" from the year and you draw names to exchange what you brought. I always love what I get and leave with ideas of several other new things for myself or others when the party is over. Usually it's a sparkly and champagne-soaked evening affair, but this year we did it a little different with a smaller group for an "afternoon tea," outside only and spread out in chairs, but it worked and the holiday fun and mama fellowship were badly needed and still warmly felt, even from 6+ feet apart.

The favorite things I gifted this year were:

Meat Masher. I adore this tool and you should get one. Everytime I use it I can't believe I spent so many adult years without one.

Mask Lanyard. I don't run errands often these days, but when I do, I like having this around my neck for the off/on in the car between stops.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Mint Jo-Jo's. Cookie of champions. Available once a year, it is with ENORMOUS restraint that I restrict myself to one box.

Trader Joe's Chai Tea Concentrate. Shelf-stable, located in the bottle by the tea bags. I make one every morning around 10 a.m. with warmed skim milk, whisked in my saucepan until frothy, with a little squirt of vanilla syrup in the mug before pouring in the tea and you guys, I'm my own fancy barista and it's the best little mid-morning life-raft in an ocean of emails.

Insulated Mug. I bought this 2-pack to split between my two gifts, but any mug will do!

And the gifts I got were:

(1) Hot chocolate bomb the kids immediately wanted to claim (no) and these shower steamers that smell amazing and will be a nice complement to the bath salts I use at night.

(2) A hand-made blown glass candycane by a friend with far more talent than I have, earrings from a local artist, tea, and a face and eye mask I very much need to try because the wrinkles and dark circles are real.

It was such a fun afternoon with perfect weather and thoughtful gifts.

Other tiny favorites of mine from the last several months, perfect for a stocking:

Fuzzy Socks. I wear them all day, every day, and had to expand my collection. Meanwhile my shoes sit unworn and dusty in the closet.

Pens! Uniball Deluxe Micro Point Blue are my very favorite and when I'm down to a dozen I know it's time to order more.

Tweezerman tweezers. Everyone needs really good, really sharp/precise tweezers. I have a pair that lives in my travel toiletry bag and they've come in handy a million times over the years. Same with small nail scissors.

Measuring Spoons. I love this brand for the regular spoons and my stocking this year will be treated to this set with 2 tsp, 1.5 Tbl, and 2 Tbl scoops.

Bandaids. These, from Target, are adorable and are the only ones that my skin can tolerate for more than an hour. I still have to take them off within 24, but at least I can literally stop the bleeding first.

Miss Maple's Seeds. A random detour to children's books, I found this book for my niece for Christmas and it is the sweetest story. Highly recommend for the children in your life. I also got one for Cora's first grade teacher, who also taught Landon and Claire, and it is perfect for anyone who has taken temporary care of the little seeds in your life.

I'm still working this week, which is kind of the worst as everyone else in my house is out of school and swim lessons and having fun without me. And since I'm not at the office blissfully unaware and listening to Christmas carols, I KNOW they're having fun without me because I can hear them playing games in the house and yards. But the photos of all my medical field friends getting their Covid vaccines have been giving me life and I'm so excited about a gift, cookie, and tiny tradition filled end to the week ahead!

The Human Kids are Also Here

So most of the pictures on my phone are of our animals, but thanks to a 3 month backlog I was able to unearth a few of the human children!

First up, the teenager.

Landon, now 13, is a gangly delight.

He is obsessed with our cat, whom he has dubbed "Da Dubba Tiny Moose", a name he sings in the most unique and absurd voice- a voice that absolutely forces you to crack up each and every one of the 100 times a day that he does it.

He carries Moose around the house, sings Moose original songs, and has Moose sleep under the covers with him every night. Claire still loves having a cat, but Landon was a closet Crazy Cat Gentleman and none of us - including him - saw it coming. (I was typing this paragraph at 9:08 p.m. last night and Landon just walked through the living room holding Tiny Moose up against his chest, singing him a bedtime song, as he takes him to their room.)

He went back to school in person in late September. It's a little weird, of course, but he's glad to be there. About half the students in his classes seem to be in person and half are at home. Everyone is super spread out and of course masks are worn all day and it seems to be working? Lunches are a little sad- they're SUPER spread out, as they need to be, so there's no socialization and everyone stares at their phones, except he doesn't have one so he brings his Chromebook and plays a typing game. Thirteen years of raising kids without electronics at meals or restaurants and here we are [insert shrug]. He rides his bike to and from school, so I often forget he's still here after we've gotten the girls off and he'll surprise me by popping in my bedroom office to chat around 8 a.m. which is the best.

He's funny and smart and can run very fast for a very long time. Still into climbing things he shouldn't, and now also jumps to and over all the things all the time.

His sisters think he is the most hilarious human on the planet, which only encourages him, and so much of dinner is spent laughing and then trying to get everyone to stop laughing so they'll eat something.

He does all the dishes every night (by far the best big kid benefit so far; it has been life-changing to sit and chat with James at the table after dinner while the dishes are done), wipes the counters, does all his laundry, and takes out the recycling.

Frankly, teenage Landon is a delightful Landon and we enjoy him so very much.

Next up, our 10-year-old!

Claire has grown 2 inches in the last 6 months, wears a women size 7 shoe, finally changed sizes (she was a girls medium for like 15 years) and LOVES her new clothes and booties.

Of our three, she has probably enjoyed all our extra time together the very most. Claire LOVES school and loves her friends and loves her activities, but she also really really just loves all being in the same room together at the same time. A Claire under a stay-at-home-order is a happy Claire.

She was actually the last to go back to in-person school (our district did a staggered start based on grades) and though I think she really enjoyed her last two weeks as an virtual learning only child, she was quite ready when it was her turn. As with Landon I think it's going as well as it can!

The teachers are incredible, the students are far more tolerant of their all day masks than the average adult seems to be, and all the protcols are being followed. Our school is Title I and majority low economic status and I'm so glad they've found a way for the kids to be safe, fed, and educated in the building.

She's an enthuastic crafter who rarely finishes her projects, a hugger, a planner, and a singer who always has a song in her heart and playing on our speakers. She wipes the table after dinner, empties the dishwasher each morning, cleans the litterbox each night, does her laundry, and takes out the trash.

We walk the girls to school every morning. We started it went Cora went back in October and have continued any morning it's not raining or below 40 degrees. Maggie loves it and now knows when it's supposed to be time to walk to school for drop-off and pick-up. It's also great for me to get out of the house and move a little and I love walking the girls to the corner of the property, where they mask up and march in for their temp checks, and then walking back with just James, holding hands and chatting about whatever pops in our heads.

Cora, our enthusiastic and independent little 7-year-old actually went back to school first and oh was she EXCITED about it.

Cora is very strong, a super fast runner, and still wants to pet every dog who passes by our house.

She wears her bunny mask every day and loves every minute of being a first grader. She loves to write stories, illustrate them in GREAT and painstaking detail, and will read books for hours.

She is the only kid in our house I will let paint in the dining room unattended and know that nary a drip of paint will fall anywhere she doesn't want it to go.

Her favorite color is purple, she loves gymnastics and dancing to her own rhythm. She often disappears during the day to go work on some project or other task that just popped into her head and requires no help or interaction of any kind. She's busy and focused, yet easily distracted. Confident and compotent and capable of losing thirty minutes playing with her hair in the mirror. She is currently putting on a performance in our living room without an audience or music. Her chores are clearing the table at night, taking larger individual items out to the recycle bin, picking up Maggie's poop, and folding and putting away all her clothes.

We've been able to take our pack on a few socially distanced adventures. We rented a cabin in Utopia, Texas in October and hiked at two state parks (Garner and Lost Maples; both beautiful!).

We've done the Arboretum Children's Garden and lots and lots of neighborhood walks.

And of course, lots of playing in the house and yard. They started having sleepovers in the girls' room early in the pandemic and they still do on most Friday and Saturday nights. Landon still loves playing- tag, games, forts, anything involving imagination- he's just here for playing with his sisters in a way I was completely over by 13 and I love it so much. (I believe they were Santa's sleigh below?) I continue to love our three-pack and am so grateful for how much joy the give each other and us every day.

And that's the update on the human children! Everyone is good and healthy and whole and anytime I feel overwhelmed it helps so much to zoom out and remind myself of exactly that. It's been a weird year, but a good one in many ways and I feel like we've learned so much more about each kid in this strange, extra time we've had together.

Though I am not opposed to spending less time with each of them at some point in 2021...

Cozy Chilly Game Days and All the Tea

Thanks everyone for your kind and supportive comments on the last post. It's been fascinating and encouraging to read how many others have made similar decisions during this time or before. I'm excited to try some of the teas and other drinks you suggested, and for those wondering- this is the Instant Hot Water Dispenser I have. James got it for me for Christmas last year and it took a long time for us to find someone willing to drill a hole in our marble countertop to kick off the project. And then a big thanks to my dad for installing it when they stopped here on the way to their Colorado house earlier this month. I use it at least eight times a day- instant 200 degree waters you guys, it's my most favorite toy ever.

As for teas, my current faves are Adagio Citrus Green, Stash Breakfast in Paris (delightful!), and Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Rooibus. I also semi-accidentally ordered 13 boxes of Twinings tea yesterday because I wanted to try their Black Christmas Tea and Herbal Winter Spice (and Chamomile, Honey & Vanilla) and you have to spend $50 for free shipping. It was $10 to ship a lesser amount and I just couldn't do it, so 13 boxes later I was at $51.67 and free shipping and I can't wait for the unboxing to my tea drawer. Reviews to come!

But I read your comments and smiled throughout the weekend. A weekend that was rainy and near-freezing, requiring a fire and fuzzy pj's for all. Maggie was here for it.

And by "here for it," I mean she lay unmoving in a furry pile of near-unconscious bliss until I decided she was probably boiling inside and I turned the fire off rather than disturb her.

I'm not sure I can ever have another dog who isn't deaf and/or has an energy level higher than that of a bulldog. She adds the perfect element of smiley, soothing unconditional love and happiness without raising the overall energy level in the house one bit. I love her so much.

Which is good, because there is other energy in this house.

In keeping with our theme of cozy family fun, I decided we should play games and bond all day on Sunday.

Me: Okay! Everyone will get to pick a game to play, so start thinking about what you want to pi--
Landon, melting in horror: oh god.

But he was game (no pun originally intended), as he always is. We started with Cora's choice of Life. She chose it so she could have babies and name them "Luna and Emma and Mia" and then she ended up with no kids while Landon had 5, 4 boys and 1 girl, all of which he named "Lil Timmy." (We name all our tiny stick players in Life, it's a very important element in the game.)

I baked up our Christmas cinnamon rolls after game 1 while everyone else did something I wasn't paying attention to because I was focused on the cinnamon rolls.

Did I even bake cinnamon rolls if I didn't take a picture of the cinnamon rolls?

I heard Legos being sorted through, so I assume Cora was back to building with Landon's old Lego collection and the stalwart assistance of both Rescue Pets, as is her currant wont.

Claire's choice was Skip Bo, which is a fun card game based almost entirely on luck and yet Landon has won EVERY SINGLE GAME we have played since purchasing the game in October. All of them. It's become a joke and while I'm SURE the streak will end at some point, it did not end on Sunday.

Pick-Up-Sticks was next. I bought that game years ago and for whatever reason it has recently swept the house like a new sensation. We play a LOT and yesterday was no exception.

The kids had to go outside to do some pool chores and walk Maggie (who switched from pj's to her puffer vest and then back to pj's) and Cora dressed for the occasion.

By the time it was James and my turn, we decided to punt our original choices of Sequence and Ticket to Ride to next weekend and opt for a movie. No one argued.

Dinner was Mississippi Pot Roast and it was absolutely incredible. People have told me to make this recipe for years and I have no idea what took me so long. I don't know why it's so good, but IT IS. James declared it our greatest meal of 2020. I strained all the sauce in the crockpot and then whisked it with some Wondra flour over low heat to make a gravy and served it over the mashed potatoes and crazy tender beef and cooked carrots and OMG. A perfect cozy meal for a lazy cozy day.

And now it's Tuesday and I'm finishing this post up before work while drinking tea in front of my sparkling lights. The girls are masked up and off to school and Landon leaves in a few minutes.

Maggie is bundled up for the cold and Moose is camped under the family Christmas tree.

I'm using my last few sips of Breakfast in Paris tea and my last few minutes before my first call to round up our menu from last week, this week, and next week up until the holidays.

Meals:
Mon: Beef Barley Soup (with a bag of frozen green beans added halfway through the cook time).
Tues: Chicken Verde Enchiladas, Mexican Rice, Black Beans (I make this recipe up, but it's chicken breasts in the crockpot on low wth verde salsa, shredded, and rolled into tortillas with a sprinkling of Monterrey Jack cheese and then everything is topped with some sour cream and a jar of verde enchilada sauce. Bake at 375 for 25 minutes.)
Wed: Garlic Herb Spaghetti with Chicken Meatballs (family favorite; those meatballs are so good, I try to make a double batch and freeze the other for a future fast spaghetti with tomato cream sauce kind of night).
Thurs: BBQ Chicken Sandwiches (frozen chicken breasts + cup of bbq sauce in the crockpot, cooked on low 8 hours, shredded, add more BBQ sauce before serving on wheat rolls with cheese, sliced tomato, and crispy onions), Tater Tots, Frozen Mixed Veggies.
Fri:Takeout Thai to celebrate 50 days!
Sat: Homemade Pizza (this dough recipe; Claire will make BBQ Chicken Pizza with the leftovers from Thursday, the rest of us will make whatever concoction sounds good with the remaining items in the fridge).
Sun: Mississippi Pot Roast, Mashed Potatoes (it's cheating, but the refrigerated 2-pack at Costco is so dang good, I buy them whenever they're available and just try to think of meals I can eat with them), Cooked Carrots. (This was AMAZING. I now see why people have recommended this impossibly simple recipe. James declared it the best meal of 2020; I strained the au jus and made a gravy with a bit of Wondra fluor and OMG.)

Mon: Clean Eating Instant Pot Summer Soup (SO GOOD; I did it in the crockpot with frozen chicken breasts, 1 cup farro, cooked on low for 9 hours. Then I shredded the chicken and added the diced zucchini and a briefly microwaved bag of frozen mixed vegetables isntead of just corn. It was hearty and filling but not heavy; winter perfection, even if it does say summer), crackers and cheese on the side.
Tues: Tamales (steamed from frozen; Costco's are great!), Mexican Rice, Black Beans, avocado and other toppings.
Wed: Creamy Mushroom Chicken with Crispy Onions, Mashed Potatoes (2nd tray from the Costco 2-pack), Steamed Green Beans.
Thurs: Gigi's Smoked Sausage and Meaty Spaghetti, Whole Wheat Spaghetti, Side Salad.
Fri: Frozen Pizza! Everyone picks one, I cook nothing, and we celebrate the start of winter break.
Sat: Leftover Spaghetti, maybe with penne this time, just to be crazy.
Sun: Rustic Potato and Leek Soup, Homemade Bread (2 new recipes that look amazing!)
Mon: Big Salad Night, Leftover Soup, Crackers and Cheese (I'd say leftover bread, but there's no way there will be any).
Tues: Gyros, Naan, Tzatziki, Roasted Potatoes, Greek Salad.

Day 50

Hi! So, in what has turned out to be a highlight of 2020, I stopped drinking alcohol in October.

It was the immediate result of one night out on a patio with two friends where I let the intoxating rush of socialization and frozen margaritas lead me to actually drink enough to become intoxicated and when I got back home I was a total asshole to the one person who matters most to me, which is what happens any time I drink too much which is why I am usually so very careful not to do so. It's been years since I have. Lots of them, but bam, there I was, acting like the person you root against in any movie.

It was also the longer result of spending 225 days at home and pouring a glass of wine at the end of each and every one. At some point in the middle, I wondered if I should get back to my New Year's resolution of only drinking on the weekends. And at some point three-quarters of the way through I realized I was never going to do that and perhaps I was no longer the person in charge of deciding whether to drink that glass of wine each night. While I think you can absolutely have a drink every night and be fully in charge of that decision, I was setting goals each weekday morning I absolutely knew I would (and then did) break and thus going to bed each night annoyed at and disappointed in myself. And even though it was usually only one, it was always one and the mere survival to the end of every day seemed to justify it, regardless of my true wants or intentions.

And so I stopped. Completely.

Interestingly, it was considerably easier than my previous failed attempts at moderation and other rules and lines. I'll also note, because I want to be honest, that knowing how much I had hurt someone and something very precious to me on the night of my last drink was an overwhelming motivational force in what would likely have been a hard first week of breaking a very ingrained habit. But I can say that by week two, even once back on an even keel in my marriage, the pull of the evening glass of wine was so much less. And by week three, I simply no longer expected it in my transition from afternoon to evening. It stopped being weird to make a new cup of tea while cooking dinner or to have one while watching a movie before bed. Somewhere in there I was thinking about drinking less and less until I realized it had been more than a month since I'd had one- quite a bit more than one really, and each day no longer felt like a milestone. I also realized that the last time I'd gone a month - frankly the last time I'd gone a week - without alcohol was when I was pregnant. And the result of my last pregnancy was 7 years ago. And it felt good.

I've developed new routines and new habits. I rearranged our kitchen to put all my tea mugs in their own special place where the wine glasses used to be. I created a tea drawer for my expanding collection and it makes me happy every morning (and afternoon and evening) when I use both. I treated myself to two new mugs and may have made myself one covered in pictures of Maggie for my Christmas stocking.

I've been living for my tea advent calendar that provides me with new teas to try each morning and my instant hot water dispenser that rocks my whole world every time I use it (and I use it a LOT). I've enjoyed Elderflower Cordial with lime seltzer when I want something fancy and am probably well hydrated for the first time in years. Being without the usual social whirl and happy hours and parties has probably made it easier, but then again, it was the being home all the time that led to that 5:30 pour seeming so essential. I've made it through Halloween, Election Night, Thanksgiving, Fridays, Hump Days, hard days, long days, and great days, all alcohol free.

And here I am at my 50th day.

James surprised me with flowers and a dealcoholized champagne the guy at Specs told him was "pretty good" (side note: that was probably James's first time in a Specs since college; ironic) and we'll toast with it over Thai takeout later tonight.

I honestly don't know what my long-term plan is with this. Initially I told myself I'd stop for 100 days, just to have some sort of goal, but now I think I'll abstain for as long as I work from home. I know I mention it every post, but being home just isn't great for me. I'm back in therapy and back on Prozac and I think that *I* am back again after being lost for a bit, but it's hard. The actual logistics have been good- I've got a great set-up in our bedroom, and calls, meetings, and even on-the-record sworn testimony work seamlessly. I'm on great cases, talking and video chatting regularly with great, smart people, and I'm really enjoying my job, but it's just hard. I miss all the human interaction I took for granted before - the stops at Starbucks, people popping by my office, going to lunch midday, stopping at TCU to teach or my yoga studio for some hot yoga - I was woven in the fabric of this vibrant urban suburban community and I miss every single thread of it.

I may try to add alcohol back into my life in a post-pandemic world; I may get to that point and realize my life is better without it. But at Day 50 it feels incredibly good and simply normal to be sipping my pumpkin spice rooibus tea after logging off from work at 5:30. And in this year, I'm thankful for something that feels good and normal, for something that has made me create new habits, and for something that has made me feel proud and strong and whole every day for fifty days.