Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Vacation Hangover

With our recent return from a 6-day vacation, I should be all kinds of busy, but so far each night has found me curled up on the couch with a book. I've read five in the last week in a half, it's like a drug for me. I haven't even caught up on my DVR'd shows. I think I'm in some sort of post-vacation hibernating state. And now that I've sat down, determined to write something, I don't know where to begin.

The vacation itself was great. My mother-in-law drove me through-the-roof Crazy, but I was able to focus on her happiness over Landon and that helped. One problem is that she does not listen to me, ever, even when I'm talking about Landon. JP and I have very few rules with him- we have a basic schedule and structure in our house, but when he's with others we don't leave a 6-page list of instructions. He's an easy going guy and I trust in the abilities of other family members who have raised children of their own to generally care for him. On Tuesday, Landon went to bed very late and I knew he was just exhausted from all the travels and little napping. I asked that no one go in his room because he frequently wakes up for a few minutes in the morning and then goes back to sleep on his own. My MIL appeared to listen and then decided to sleep in his room, against my strong wishes, and picked him up out of the pack-n-play at 6 a.m. when he stirred. The next night JP told her than under no circumstances should she sleep in Landon's room with him, and at 2 a.m. I heard her walk in there and at 6 a.m. I woke up again to hear her taking him downstairs. This meant that Landon got 2-4 hours less sleep per day than he is used to (naps were all screwed up too). I was beyond irritated, as was JP, and each time we told to stop she'd just smile and nod and then do it again that night. And then she'd cry when JP confronted her in the morning. And then his dad would tell JP to leave his mother alone since it was her house (he's MY CHILD), and then JP would say, "this is why I hate coming here" and then it would all devolve further. On Day 4 I decided to just let it go- we visit them maybe once a year, Landon will survive, but I will absolutely name it as a reason we don't visit more often whenever she pesters me about it.

But other than that, the JP/in-law interactions went as well as they ever do. On Wednesday we traveled to the National Aquarium in Baltimore and Landon looooved that. Boats! Wawa! FISH! they were everywhere and I thought he was going to pass out from excitement in the first fifteen minutes of vigorous finger pointing. He thought we were pretty mean to not let him pet the fish, but other than that he had a marvelous time.

On Thursday I took the metro into D.C. to visit the firm's office and meet a few of the attorneys in my section. I nearly cried as I walked through the streets- wearing my suit and heels, feeling all lawyerly and beyond thrilled to be back in a city with public transportation and walking. I met two of my best friends from law school for lunch and it was so wonderful to just call them up and see them. I loved walking aimlessly around the streets of DC, passing famous sites right along with major agency buildings and shopping. I like D.C. quite a lot, it's too bad JP is determined to hate it.

He did suck it up to spend a full day there with me on Saturday before my friend's wedding. We checked into our hotel (an anniversary treat to ourselves while Landon stayed in Maryland with his grandparents) and then meandered through museums and a big angry protest. We met friends for lunch and then returned to our hotel at 3 p.m. to watch TV in bed and do absolutely nothing like two people with no to-do lists or toddler to tend; the indulgence of those few hours still leaves me feeling vaguely guilty. We walked to the wedding at 6 and it was hands down the most opulent event I've ever attended. The bride and groom are both UChicago law grads and the groom's parents (who hosted the event) are both partners at major DC law firms. It was a wonderful reunion of law school friends and the food, dancing, and open bars (with sangria! and patron!) made it all very, very fun.

Sunday was our one bad day - JP and I only got about 5 hours of sleep before we had to drive to the airport in Baltimore. I realized my debit card and all the cash had been stolen out of my wallet and taken to Hooters, though luckily the thief left my ID and other credit cards. Both our flights were delayed, Landon didn't nap, and he had a meltdown on the second, mercifully short flight from Dallas to Austin. We got to our house at 5:00, after traveling for 10 hours and had to pick up the dogs, unpack, buy food, do laundry, etc. Then I got a work email at 8:00 asking if I could proof an emergency brief we were filing the next morning in my biggest case, so that was super fun. I think I am just now recovered from that day.

Overall it really was a great trip. It reinforced the importance of family vacations and we have vowed to take one at least once a year whether we can afford it or not. I loved seeing so much of my little man and he loved being with us. I'm hoping to do a short camping trip now that the weather is cooling down. I think Landon would love it and it's an inexpensive getaway. Has anyone out there taken a 2-year-old tent camping? We need to ask for camping gear for Christmas, we don't even own a sleeping bag. I think I'll start making a list - I've barely recovered from one vacation and I'm already planning another!

18 comments:

  1. Yes to the tent camping! And it is so fun! We have taken Jack many times. He isn't quite two (OK, he isn't quite 1 1/2), but still . . . We have a Hobitat, I think it's an REI brand. 6 person tent. It can fit both of us and the baby's Pack n Play, which he sleeps in. We also have this little flashlight lantern that hangs from the middle of the roof, and it serves as a nightlight for him.

    Jack loves camping, and we go as much as the weather allows. I think you'll like it! As for the in-laws - you are the model of restraint. I think that's a good attitude - it's once a year, and it's wonderful that they love him so much, and as for the rest. . . repeat the mantra. It's once a year. It's once a year. Etc.

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  2. Missed you while you were gone! I just returned from a week-long vaca with my in-laws as well, but the issues are very minimal. Although, like you, I always feel like I need a vacation from my vacation.

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  3. I miss DC so much some times, even though Austin is fantastic in its own way. But my life is just so...different here! I actually booked a trip to DC on the spur of the moment after reading this post, hah.

    I also miss Wawas! Texas should definitely get on that bandwagon!

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  4. I love the DC area, too. I am glad that we did not need to live there after all and it was a relief to sell the house (it was in VA.) But. I did love my years of visiting there.

    Oh, and folks who pressure me to ignore my child's sleep schedule? Get to see my head spin around. It infuriates me when I pressured to forsake my child's SLEEP, then tsk tsk at my child's supposed "bad behavior" when said child has meltdown due to non-sleep. Grrrr.... :-)

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  5. I have this very girly-girly friend, the very last thing you'd think she likes would be camping, but she loves it like no other. Her son was born in June and she was so excited because that meant they could take him camping in August! So if you can take a 2 month old camping, I'm sure a 2 year old will be just fine.

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  6. Hi Anon, I'm hoping to convince a friend with a 4-month old to join us, so I'll use teh story of your friend. In some ways, camping with a 2-month old would be easier because they can sleep anywhere and eat one specific type of food. My biggest concern with Landon is the sleeping all together (even as a newborn he didn't sleep well near us and was in his crib in his own room the first night we were home from the hospital), but I'm sure it will be fine. We'll do lots of hiking and chasing to tire him out :) I'm getting really excited about this!

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  7. I grew up in Maryland (college in Baltimore, and internships in DC), and I miss it still. My boys love the Metro and Smithsonian, so we make it a point to go whenever we visit their grandparents (both sets still in MD).

    Anyhoo, tent camping. We took our 2 boys (5.5 & 2) camping over labor day weekend. They LOVED it. I think they each ate 3 hotdogs and enough marshmallows to cover them head to toe in goo the night we cooked over the fire. We did have to put the little one in the portacrib, though. He was so excited he couldn't stay in the sleeping bag and kept trying to jump on his brother's head. We didn't do as much hiking as we had hoped, as they tended to lollygag, and the 2 yr old is too heavy to carry on my back for more than a couple of miles. We had borrowed gear, and we all enjoyed it so much we're planning to buy our own.

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  8. Okay, not many people are commenting on the MIL, but holy crap, I am about to implode on her, and I don't know her (or you, for that matter). Going in at 2am? And insisting on sleeping in his room? Okay, first of all, that's kinda creepy. Second, you're right, he is YOUR child and she needs to respect that. You have some mad restraint. I think I would give her 3 options: 1) she abides by your rules when it comes to your child, 2) you will visit, but will all stay in a hotel on HER dollar if she is unable to do #1 or 3) you refuse to visit.

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  9. There's no way I'm camping with my kid if I have to sleep anywhere near her. The other night I brought her into bed with me because she wasn't feeling good, and she was being clingy. Twenty minutes later, she punched me in the face. Yeah, none of that.

    None of Mother-in-Law's passive-aggressive bullshit either. Hellll no. Ol' girl needs some boundaries. My mother tries pulling that crap, she gets royally chewed out.

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  10. The in-laws not respecting the very basic "rules" ... I feel your pain! Mine do the same thing (although not going in at 2am ... I agree with Anon, that IS a little creepy!)

    Also, every vacation I went on growing up was tent camping. I've been to every national park west of the Mississippi at least once... I think Landon will love it. He'll be so excited by a tent/sleeping bag and all the fun stuff he'll find in nature.

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  11. Well if I was a thief i would go to Hooters- duh! oh man, that must have felt horrible! And I know how awful it is when people do not follow your parenting method or when they think they know what's best- it is soo frustrating. I can't believe she kept doing it though! you deserve to curl up and read everynight :)

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  12. I am closer to being a mother-in-law than I am to having little kids, and I am writing this on my list of things I must not do! Though the chances of me being up at 2 a.m. to do anything are pretty small. I did my nighttime with little kids three times, I shall let my kids and their spouses do their time without interference from me.

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  13. Vacations are great but that return home can be a real killer. Just a warning, have fun camping (I'm more of a travel trailer kind of girl than a tenter myself but whatever) but remember this - do your best to get home early enough in the day.

    What you thought was bad this time on your return home is magnified 50 times after camping - there is so much more stuff to clean and put away, you are dealing with sleeping bags and dirt, coolers and left-over food... Yeah, have fun!

    Just teasing, you will love it but do be prepared.

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  14. I'm a MIL and a grandmother myself and I see your MIL's behavior as totally unacceptable. Every now and then, I may hand out a few too many treats to my darling grandaughter, but never would I totally disregard my daughter's requests concerning HER child. Outrageous!

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  15. I have a ten-month old. I don't mind if my MIL spoils my son with too many treats and kisses (DURING THE DAY). But, don't mess with the sleep. Giving them sleep is as important as giving them food and love.

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  16. Your MIL's behavior is ridiculous. I'd stay in a hotel next time. When they pulled the 'our home' line out, I would have left.

    Take it from experience, enforce your boundaries and rules now. This past visit was 'just' messing with his sleeping. It won't end there and she will continue to undermine you.

    Sorry, this type of behavior is a sore spot with me. And this isn't the first time you have mentioned issues with JP's parents. You shouldn't have to 'suck it up'. You're the parent and you weren't requesting anything ridiculous.

    Your MIL's behavior is disrespectful. And I don't believe in giving a free pass just because someone is family. She may love him, but she didn't have his best interests in mind when she purposefully ignored your instructions.

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  17. Echo on the MIL comments. How anyone would see that as acceptable blows my mind. Camping- I took my 2 year old camping 3 times this summer. He loved it, and now actually often sleeps on a camping mat on his floor rather than his bed to pretend he is camping... Tents are amazing these days. We have a cheapie ($25!) tent from an army-navy store and it so much better than anything they had when i was a kid- takes 10 minutes to set up, is pretty waterproof, etc. My only advice- bring a lot of baby wipes. We ended up using them for everything. I bet you will have a great time, it is really fun watching him be excited about sticks and the tent, etc.

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  18. Hooters, eh? That was YOUR debit card?! I can't believe you found out it was me!

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