Two things that should have been included in the last post, but I couldn't go back and add because holy crap it's long enough already:
(1) We count to three before Landon has to go to his room. So if we've asked him to do something and he just stares at us, we'll ask again and then count. If by 3 he's not moving his little self over to do whatever we asked, it's up to his room. We added it because I felt we needed some sort of grade period between initial defiance and eventual compliance, and that grace period is three seconds.
(2) We also always try to tell him how many minutes he has until we're going to leave somewhere. At the park, at daycare, at our house before we go run errands-- anywhere. If we say, "Landon we're going to go in 10 minutes." and then give him another warning at about 2 minutes, life is SO much better for everyone. It's extraordinary. We started it on accident with telling him when we would be eating dinner (so when he was going to have to stop playing whatever he was playing) and then it crossed over to everything. It's a little thing, but that small amount of advance warning and knowledge of the day's schedule makes Landon okay with any change. He never has tantrums because we have to leave somewhere and I think that's partially why.
Okay, that, along with my comments on the last post, should be all I have to say on that topic (for now). Next up will be a new post from Little Miss Clairebear, who I almost regret to admit has increasingly become "the Biscuit" to all of us.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Two More Things
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We count to 10. Maybe I'm too soft. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how we seem to use the EXACT same discipline techniques.
We have to do the warnings for Pumpkinhead, too, even at 7. He has ADHD and part of that is that he does NOT do well with spontaneity. He needs to have a rough idea of how each day will go and does much better with structure. He's also very conscious of time and "fairness". When his Dad showed up FOUR hours late to pick him up yesterday, he burst into tears and had a complete fit, saying he wasn't going to go to school Monday because he deserved his "whole time" with Dad. Well... Dad screwed up (not his fault, necessrily - huge traffic accident on his way back in truck) so I let him explain why taking Monday off school wasn't in the cards. But we have to be super careful not to tell Pumpkinhead times, dates, etc., unless they are set in stone. If we change the restaurant we are going to and we've told him where we were going, he gets very unsettled and upset. Such an odd thing but his psychiatrist reassures us that it is normal for kids with ADHD and the books I've read back that up. My brother was similarly unhinged but we always thought he was just being a brat. "Understanding" makes it easier to deal with. Not saying that Landon has ADHD in anyway whatsoever - just reflecting on how your experience with such a little guy is so similar to my experience with my 7 year-old.
ReplyDeleteA lot of kids seem to struggle with transitions (and unexpected changes in routine). Some grow out of it. Some don't. But for a kid with ADHD, I would think that you might find yourself giving warnings for a long time. But you just keep trucking and hope for the best, righ?
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