Last night JP and I drove to Houston to attend a wedding of a friend of mine from high school. I saw several people I hadn't seen since our graduation 7 years ago. Some didn't even recognize me at first - I'm several sizes smaller, much leaner, and my hair is redder, longer, and usually straightened instead of left curly. It was weird to think of how much has changed from May 2001- back then I thought (knew) I'd be a doctor, I'd never leave Texas, I wouldn't get married until I was 30... and even as I made those declarations I knew that I could change them on a whim and still have plenty of time to carry them out. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was still an honest question and one we all asked each other at the time. It's funny to think I didn't even know JP then. This person who holds my whole heart and happiness was just a stranger finishing up his sophomore year at UT.
My high school boyfriend was a groomsman, so last night marked the first time he and JP met each other. T and I were together for 2 years. He was my first date, first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything. We went to Homecoming together, prom together, and talked on the phone every night before we fell asleep. We haven't stayed in touch since we broke up right before college. We took very different paths after high school - T heading off to the Culinary Institute of America in New York and then cheffing around the world; me following the more traditional academic route. I met JP my first weekend in Austin, so I don't think that helped T and my post-break up attempts at friendship. It was strange talking to him and his girlfriend. Not in any emotional or romantic sense - we've both long since moved on, just odd to think that there was a time in our lives that we knew each other better than anyone else did, and now we don't know each other at all. Our lives couldn't be more different. I'm married, mother to a one-year-old, graduate of law school, and very tied down in Austin. He's not married, definitely not a parent, living in Canada, and about to embark on a trip around the world. We're both happy, which is why we always knew we had no future after high school - we're way too different, and it was nice to see that happiness. It felt like a bit of closure.
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42 minutes ago
I know exactly the feeling you're describing!! It's strange to think that someone you shared so much of your life and yourself with is completely gone. It's like that part of your history vanishes and like you were someone altogether different then. It's a very bittersweet feeling, I think.
ReplyDeleteWow. Isn't it interesting to look back? I can't imagine being with anyone else, least of all any of the guys I dated in high school.
ReplyDeleteI have these weird feelings all the time! It's so weird to think about how different your life would have turned out if you made one decision differently. Glad you got to reconnect with old friends :)
ReplyDeleteSeeing or hearing about old boyfriends who used to also be best friends is the weirdest! Especially when they're from the "high school era." It's so hard to square away the idea of the person you knew so well with the one who's divorced, or a parent, or gay (for real).
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