Friday, August 1, 2008

Breakfast of Champions

This is what I woke up to this morning:



Isn't it beautiful? It's my parent's lake property in Livingston and it's a great place to let your brain rest after you made it work so hard that little puffs of smoke came out your ears. Last night we drank an excellent bottle of champagne and ate enormous steaks, twice-baked potatoes, and the world's best asparagus casserole. I alternated between being overjoyed the Bar was over and freaking out over all the things I kept realizing I should have written in my essays. Regardless, it was wonderful to see my boys again- I couldn't stop hugging and kissing Landon. He was all, "mom, put me down, I want to play with the mini Tex!"



This is Shadow, the 4-month old lab mix puppy my parents adopted from the same organization where we rescued Rosie and Tex. Landon is delighted that we were so thoughtful as to get a dog that's just his size. Our little dog pack is loving the lake house - they have so much room to run! Shadow would join in for a lap with the big dogs, immediately lay down for a power nap, and then pop back up and race off with his too-big paws and too-long tail. All three are comatose at my feet as I type- it's going to take a few days to recover from all the revelry.



Today has been a good day. I got up with Landon at 6:45 and we snuggled on the rocking chair on the deck, watching the sun come up over the lake. I don't feel done. I feel like I'm just taking another day off and tomorrow I'll wake up with the guilty knowledge that I have to catch up, that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I think it will take a while for that to fade- it's been too long, too many years of always feeling I should be studying for something. Plus I'm not entirely certain I passed. I think I did; I'd be surprised if I didn't, but I wouldn't be shocked. It's an incredibly difficult exam. I think I was below average in Procedure and Evidence, above average on the MPT, who the hell knows on the MBE, and probably in the middle for the essays. Given that about 75% usually pass, I should be okay, but I have no confidence in that statement. So the wave of relief I'd hope to feel is being kept at bay by a fear of my name not being on the pass list when it's published November 7.

Right now I'm looking forward to going home and watching TV, reading, and just sitting and doing absolutely nothing without guilt. Or at least doing all those things to the extent that Landon will allow me. Our August is actually kind of crazy - a trip back to Houston to drop Landon off with my parents before we fly to Chicago for a wedding, another trip to Houston the following weekend for another wedding, a 6-day visit from my in-laws, JP starting Orientation Aug 11 and business school Aug 27... so you know, the usual craziness. But craziness makes me happy and even though I talk about wanting to sit and do nothing, I know I'd be miserable within hours. And with this kind of craziness there won't be a constant weight on my shoulders. I've thought about the Bar Exam every day since graduation and worrying about things like finding the perfect candle sticks for our mantle and whether or not JP and his parents will kill each other after six days together sounds positively luxurious.

Also, this is what I had for breakfast this morning:



With three layers of chocolate cake, two layers of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and a layer of ultra thick cool whip, my world is looking pretty bright.

13 comments:

  1. CONGRATS!!! I'm so happy for you that you've finished the hateful bar and can relax for a while. It sounds like you're having a great time. That house is gorgeous and you're little boy is the cutest thing ever. I bet you feel like a million bucks - and you deserve it!

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  2. Congratulations! Enjoy this down time--it will go by quickly.

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  3. Oh, my, you have to wait until November?! That is torture. When does your job start? Oh, tell me to shut up -- just ENJOY YOURSELF these next few days/weeks. Watch Oprah or something. :) Congrats!

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  4. Thanks el-e-e (and everyone else)! We do have to wait until November, and yes, it sucks. It gives you exactly enough time to find out if you passed and gear up to study for the February exam. Also, you find out via a posted list of all the people who passed, so you immediately look for your name and then look for all your friends, so everyone knows you failed at the same time you do. Ouch.

    And I start work the first day they'll let me- Sept 2. They make you wait a month after the Bar (we can get an advance on our salary if needed); I think b/c they know you're worthless for at least a few weeks. Everyone else in my class is starting the last day possible, Sept 29, so I'll be the only newbie for a while :) If I didn't have a family to support I'd be putting it off too!

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  5. Ahhhh you must be so relieved that it's over. But waiting for November must be torture. :-(

    Enjoy being done, though. My Samantha is 13 months old (I can't believe it) and I am still more in love with her every day. They are so FUN at this age!!!!!!!

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  6. Wish I had that view!! Congrats...I'm sure you passed...you sound like you are a smart cookie!

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  7. Enjoy your extended vacation, and try to forget everything about law until you start work!

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  8. grass@grassdiaries.com8/2/08, 3:08 PM

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! What a huge weight off your shoulders. I remember the feeling when I wrote the bar last year - although I don't think the bar here is as big a deal as it can be in the U.S. Still, it pretty much ruined my summer and having it over was an enormous relief. Enjoy that wonderful view, and the boys in your life!

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  9. Congratulations!! All that travel, maybe you'll have time for coffee? ;) Sounds like you are recovering in just the right way.

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  10. Yay! You're done!!!!

    And it sounds like you celebrated that in the best possible way...get to see your boys, have a great meal with loved ones, and relax watching the dogs play. :)

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  11. Glad to see you came through unscathed. Enjoy your busy August and relax. :)

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  12. Sounds flawless! Soak up every minute of the next month :) you deserve it!

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  13. Landon and Shadow are priceless!

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