The Big Switch

Landon starts at his new daycare on Monday. I spent about a week of last month panicking at the thought of the switch and the making of the lunches and the closing 15 minutes earlier and wondered WHY we thought this change was a good idea. I very nearly called new place to see if we could get back our deposit (all one-freaking-thousand dollars of it) and old place to see if Landon could keep his spot, but then I got too busy to do either one and inaction made me re-convince myself we'd made the right decision. And after receiving a pleasant introductory phone call from his new teacher, attending New Parents Orientation on Tuesday night, and taking Landon to Open House Friday night, I am so excited about New Center.

His teacher has been working in early childhood education for thirty years and has been at New Center since it opened fifteen years ago. She seems warm and smiley and obviously loves what she does - this is a career for her, not a stop-over on the way to something else. New Center pays well above market and has one of the lowest teacher turnover rates in Austin. Every employee I met truly thinks of themselves as a teacher and not just a kid minder/wrangler. We've really liked the place he is at now, but I feel like we got lucky with his teachers and each year it would have been a crapshoot as to whether we got a good one. Like most daycares, his current one doesn't pay all that well and turnover is very high- some seem to really enjoy what they do, others are obviously waiting for something better to come along. New Center felt like a whole bunch of preschool teachers who happen to teach other younger ages.

I loved all their talk about learning through play and themes and modifying their plans based on what the kids seem interested in. They spend a lot of time outside and I have yet to meet a parent in our community who doesn't rave about the time their child spent at New Center. And because it is a neighborhood center with a part-time program, nearly every child around us has been through its doors, which adds a neat feeling of community. I'm excited for him- I think he's going to thrive there. He seemed to love his new classroom at Open House- jumping down from my arms to play with new buses and meet the other kids. He shared all of his toys, even going to get another block from a bin so that a third boy joining the block area could have one. He's so friendly and sweet and unafraid of anything, I'm always so proud of him when he's with other kids.

I'm still nervous about the packing of the lunch each night. I know we'll get used to it and I think he'll end up eating more and better foods, but we've been so spoiled by just dropping him off in the morning with nothing but the clothes on his back. I've already packed his lunch box for tomorrow and the organizing, school-supply loving part of me had a great time filling his little containers with cut-up fruit, veggies, and a wee crustless peanut butter sandwich. We'll see how long the enjoyment lasts- I packed JP's lunch for about a week after we were married and then decided I was over the wifely feeling it gave me. JP and I will probably just trade-off the responsibility, I'd give it to Landon as his first official family chore, but then his box would be filled with 6 muffins and a gallon of milk.

I have Landon's daycare bag all packed with his diapers, wipes, nap stuff and a poster with family pictures. He has a little penguin backpack that is so adorable I can't wait to put it on him and take 100 pictures. I think he's going to love his new school and I'm so excited for all the fun and friends and buses he's going to have there.

Toddlers and Babies

I feel like most people get pressured to have another child by friends or grandparents, but for us, the pressure comes in toddler form. Landon loves babies. When we're out and about he's always pointing out the babies ("BeeBees") and telling them night night (if they're sleeping) or hi or bye, depending on which direction they're going. At his birthday party he was very concerned about his two baby guests and stuck close by, frequently offering to share his snack and pointing them out to the other party goers.

It's transition week at his current daycare and an 11-month-old little girl has moved up to his classroom. She doesn't walk yet and Landon has nominated himself as her protector and guardian. The teachers told me the other kids play around her or ignore her, but Landon is always nearby, handing her his favorite toys or bringing her leaves and other treasures when they're outside. Ms. S said he sits near her on the carpet for reading time and even offered her a few of his stacking cups (the toy he appropriates the minute he gets into the classroom in the morning). He's such a sweetheart- I wonder if this loving attitude will last one day when the BeeBee comes home with him...

Disjointed

I haven't slept well the last two nights. On Monday I stayed up too late reading The Time Traveler's Wife and couldn't turn my brain off when I crawled into bed. The book mostly takes place in Chicago and just reading the familiar names of the streets, neighborhoods and museums left me missing Chicago so acutely I woke up JP, crawled into his arms and started to cry.

I get affected by the books I read. JP always knows when I'm reading a romance because I'll suddenly need to hear him say why he loves me (the men in those books are wonderfully, unrealistically verbal). And because he does, he always tells me, and I know that I'm living my own love story, made better with its absence of battles and corsets. He knows when I'm reading something troubling or thought-provoking because I stay withdrawn and separate from him, even after I put the book down. Monday night, after four hours of flying through the The Time Traveler's Wife I felt disjointed, like I was split in my component parts and couldn't fit perfectly back together again. I was thinking about living downtown in the city and I desperately wanted it back. But then I thought about my job and my family and I know I couldn't combine those in Chicago as well as I can here in Austin. I thought about a life with no JP and no Landon and me living in a small modern apartment just North of the Loop- working late, meeting up with friends, walking home along the Chicago River- and it fit. Sometimes I think it fits me better than the life I have now.

But then I looked at my sleeping husband, the man who has been the biggest fixture in my life since I was 18 and I can't wish him out of it. Even if he is the reason I'm back in Texas. I thought of Landon. I thought of the children I still want to have, and even right then when time travel and anything else seemed possible, I don't want a life without them in it.

I finished the last 80 pages of the book yesterday at work, stealthily speed reading in my lap under my desk. I went home for dinner and Landon's new daycare orientation and then headed back to the office and worked until after midnight prepping our partners for a hearing on Thursday. My mind was jumbled driving home- I was quite tired, happy about a job well done, and oddly preoccupied with trying to name all of Chicago's downtown north-south streets in order. I was bothered by how much I longed for an urban existence that excluded the two people I love the most.

And then suddenly, in those moments of imagining my alternative life, I understand why I need my career. It's the other part of me, the life I'm not living in the city I'm not in. The challenge, the stress, the sheer separateness it provides from my daily suburban life is why I can be so happy here even though a version of me longs for somewhere else. I've tried to explain to myself why I need to work- why even though I adore Landon, I don't question the time I spend away from him. Not even when JP and I are spinning stories about the future and not even deep down inside when everyone else is asleep. It's why I feel sadness but no guilt at the trade-offs involved in combining work and family. This is how the parts of me fit together. I haven't lost the city girl I discovered when I went to law school and I do love my family as much as I think.

I don't know how long this feeling of peace will last and I don't know if it will make sense to anyone else. JP seemed to understand when I explained it at 2 a.m. but he mostly just wanted me to get under the covers and stop talking. I've debated off and on all morning about publishing this, but maybe one day I'll need to read it again.

Lazy Day

Yesterday we attended our neighborhood's BBQ cook-off. Sometimes I can't really believe things like this are on my calendar. Five years ago I was living in a bug-infested college apartment in a questionable part of town (my friend's car was stolen from our parking lot- twice), three years ago I was in a tiny downtown Chicago loft, and now I'm in a house in the suburbs. The famous Coach JP was a judge in the brisket competition and Landon ran around enjoying the petting zoo, train rides, snow cones, and bounce houses. There were lawn chairs in the parking lot, coolers of beer, and neighbors who all knew each other. I suppose if we're going to live in the suburbs, we might as well do it up right.

This morning JP is out mowing the lawn. Landon is sitting across from me coloring a picture of Elmo ("Elmo" encompasses all animated characters- I briefly paused the TV on Family Guy the other day and Landon exclaimed "Elmo!!"). I'm mapping out our day (pancakes, Wal-Mart, grocery store) and trying to take control of my work email inbox. I wish we had gmail at work, the archive feature and automatic grouping of email chains would be so helpful in maintaining order.

--- pancake break ---

Now JP is swimming, Landon is napping, and I just finished Falls the Shadow, the excellent sequel to Here Be Dragons by Sharon Kay Penman (I'm still working through all of your recommendations). I started it Friday night and my sleep has greatly suffered since- last night I stayed up until nearly 3 a.m. before admitting defeat and crawling in bed. This is why I have to stick with books I've already read, I have no literary self control. Next up is The Reckoning (the third and final book of her Welsh series), then the Time Traveler's Wife, and then Katherine. Books make me so happy.

Landon appears to have recovered from his mysterious fever. It broke around 4 a.m. Friday morning only to come back up to 103 by bedtime that night. Yesterday he was fever free all day and slept his usual 12 hours last night without interruption. I'm so glad our week can get back to normal- we're lucky to be able to rearrange our schedules as needed, but it still resulted in four very late nights for me and one phone call where I may or may not have yelled "I HAVE A JOB" into JP's ear before hanging up. I believe I wanted him to come home from the pool immediately or 30 minutes earlier. But he survived my icy glares of death when he got home and presented me with a beautiful dinner that night. All is well in the Lag Liv house.

I have a post brewing about JP new company and my thoughts on the risk and extraordinary time demands involved but it's not done, so until then, you'll have to make do with this weekend rundown. Happy Sunday to you all!

Healthy on the Inside

I was going to write up a little report card for the mid-year resolutions I wrote so optimistically only three months ago:

1. Work out twice a week. F
2. Buy more fresh fruits and vegetables and eat them. B
3. Make more simple, healthy meals B-
4. Limit diet cokes to one a day A+
5. Go to bed before 11:30 if I'm working and 11 if I'm not.C-

So I have a 2.4 health resolution GPA. Could be better, could be worse. The working out thing is really bringing me down. I'd like to say I just can't find the time, but that's not true- it's that I won't. If I really tried I'm sure I could find two free hours a week to be at the gym, but between work, Landon, JP, and my need to spend at least some time sitting unproductively on the couch, I can't seem to make it a priority. Right now I just try to be very active during the day doing all those mini exercise-light activities (taking the stairs, parking far away, sitting as little as possible) that I scoffed when I was a Hard Core Athlete. They help, I think, but I still have big dreams of long walks in the morning with the dogs when the weather dips down below 105. I miss all the walking I used to do in Chicago and didn't realize how much that subtle exercise helped keep me fit.

On Wednesday my office had a Health Fair and I received a confidential "biometric screening" complete with blood cholesterol work up, blood pressure reading, and height and weight check. And I got a 4.0! (my own interpretation of the little chart they filled out for me) My BMI is 20.5 (though I know that is totally inadequate measure of health and fitness since the handy online calculator just informed me that my very lean, muscular husband is overweight). My total cholesterol is quite low, probably due to our eating vegetarian about 3 nights a week and my family's lack of high cholesterol issues (I think, I could be making that up). I've given myself homework on raising my HDL ("healthy cholesterol") levels- they're 48 and the ideal range is greater than 60. And rather than talk with a doctor or any other informed, science-related person, I turned to eHow.com for a cheat sheet.

According the article, the following things will help me raise my HDL levels:

1. Get moving. Regular exercise is an important component to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and aerobic exercise has been shown to increase your HDLs if done for periods of 30 minutes or longer several times a week." Yeah... no; see above. I want to try harder though- if there's any superwoman or superman out there who does fit in exercise with work, family, etc., leave a comment and shame me into doing the same.

2. Avoid high-fat foods, especially those containing trans fats or hydrogenated oils. You'll typically find these oils used in fried foods, as well as many cookies, crackers and chips. French fries and cookies are the two big culinary loves of my life, but I've been working on it. This week I haven't had either one even once and I've found I miss them less each day.

3. Incorporate more monounsaturated oils into your diet. These include foods like olive oil, avocados and whole nut butters. More guacamole, peanut butter on ritz crackers, and bread dipped in olive oil? This almost makes up for the decrease in cookies and french fries.

4. Get more fiber in your diet. Soluble fiber helps to reduce your LDL cholesterol and raises your HDL level as well. You can find soluble fiber in foods like oatmeal, many fruits and vegetables, as well as in whole grains. Already done.

5. Stay away from processed, high-carbohydrate food. Because these foods contain more simple sugars, they may increase your blood sugar and decrease your HDL cholesterol in the process. Check- other than cookies I already did this one too.

6. Prepare to shed a few tears when you add onions to your new HDL-friendly diet. Studies suggest that your HDL may be increased a substantial amount by eating up to a half an onion each day. Really? I don't like onions except when they're grilled on top of my hamburger and I doubt that's an HDL-approved way of adding them to your diet. Plus I'm not sure JP would appreciate it.

7. Raise a glass and toast to your new healthier lifestyle when you consume an occasional glass of red wine. These libations contain antioxidants that have been shown to slow the oxidation of HDL cholesterol, helping it to stay in your system longer. Woo hoo- I have a glass of wine 3-4 nights a week. Maybe this means I shouldn't skip days...

So I'm not sure how much that helped me. I already do a lot of these things, which makes me think exercise would be even more effective if I added it to my routine. Until then, I'm looking forward to ordering extra guacamole at all my favorite Mexican restaurants.

And in other health news, Landon was sent home from daycare on Wednesday with a 102 fever, only two weeks after I remarked that he hadn't been sick once in the past year. I think it's just viral- he has no other symptoms of anything and has been in good spirits. JP and I have been contorting our schedules to be home with him and this has resulted in some very late work-from-home nights for me, which combined with Landon's fevered 3 a.m. awakenings, has made me very tired, a little crabby, and suffering from painful flashbacks of life with an infant. Shudder.

Mommy and Daddy's Little Helper

Alternate, More Accurate Title: "Lover of Muffins" because I think he was motivated more by his passion for blueberry muffins than any desire to help, though he likes to do that too.

He always runs to the dryer when it beeps (actually, our dryer sings a little song when it's done, the crush continues) and stands ready to hand me each individual item to fold. He takes his socks over to his sock bin unprompted (we keep a little basket by the door for his socks- it seemed silly to keep them up in his room when we always need them to leave the house) and announces the owner of each item of clothing as I fold them.

He added to his household chore repertoire on Sunday when I found him zooming our mop around the kitchen floor. The dogs were standing by looking anxious but obviously afraid to leave the mini master unsupervised. When I walked in, Landon looked up beaming, and announced "Halp Dada!" I love that he associates his dad with the mop. And the vacuum. We're paving the road to gender equality, one toddler at a time.

Friday Free Flow

Random thoughts/potential blog posts floating around in my head:

- JP is going out of town for business and is supposed to leave today at noon and get home Sunday around 4. My first thought about my solo Friday night was, "ooooh, I'm going to go to bed SO early!" And then I realized I am old and kind of pathetic. And really tired.

- Landon has learned that he is funny and can make us laugh. He now consciously tries to do so and it is so adorable it makes my heart burst.

- I love my job. Seriously, love it. I work with awesome people who give me glowing feedback. In a world without report cards, I can't describe how nice it is to hear.

- I have gained 7 lbs. since I started working 11 months ago and have decided to limit my cookie/dessert intake to once a day. I'm certain my pants and my heart will appreciate this, even if I do not.

- Along the same lines, since it appears that I simply will not make time to work out, I am going to make time for healthier family dinners. We don't eat badly, but there's room to improve and I'm determined to try harder.

- I'm so glad Jeanine won So You Think You Can Dance. Her contemporary dance with Jason was this year's "Bleeding Love" for me and I announced to JP last night that if I lived in an alternate dance universe, I would marry Jason based purely on this performance. I don't think JP understood.

- Landon is such a delight. I would like to start with baby #2 at about 14 months old and just move on from there. When JP has herding him out the door for daycare this morning Landon broke past his legs to run into our room to blow me kisses and say "bye bye mama!" for the 5th time. I want five of him.

- My secretary has a jar of random, old-fashioned candies on her desk, including atomic fire balls. I'm not sure I actually like fire balls, but they take me back to Fridays in my 4th grade math class and that makes me so happy that I can't stop grabbing them as I walk past her jar. I miss elementary school. And math. And candy on Fridays.

- I've been marinating thoughts on the decorating of our master bedroom since we moved in. I have solid ideas now and they involve this vase. I just need HGTV to come over with their big budget and team of workers to carry them out for me. Until that happens, or until I can convince JP to help me paint another (much bigger) room, I will continue the marinating and wish list making.

That's all for now, back to work!

For the Baby Book

Two Saturdays ago I had a free two hours, a napping toddler, and a to-do list all checked off. I decided it was time to face the baby book so I got it off the shelf and filled in the last 12 months of Landon's life with pictures, cards, and stars pulled directly from the blog. Without my archvies there's no way I could have filled in the date of his first steps or his weight at 12 months or any of the other little details it seemed so important to record. So in that spirit, here are his 2-year portraits, which took two trips to Picture People, two bags of fruit snack bribes and a very patient photographer to get TWO acceptable looking photos. These are them. There were no other options. At least the picture selecting part of the appointment went quickly.

At his 2-year check-up a few days later, we found out Landon had finally graduated out of the 25th percentile for height! JP and I are both tall, but we have some short family members and I wondered if Landon would take after them in height. I'm not sure his 2-year height matters much for what he'll be as an adult, but it's nice to be tall, especially if you're a guy. In the short-term it means that the days where he seems to subsist on crackers, air, and 3 peas aren't stunting his growth. His weight has always been around the 75th and his head has been in the 90th since his 1 month check-up (which was on his due date, his head was only in the 25th percentile when he was born, thank goodness!)

The Stats:
Height: 35" - 75th percentile
Weight: 30 lbs. - 75th percentile
Head: 50.5 cm - 90th percentile

Clapping for the Choir

On Sundays when we go to church, Landon spends the first 90% of the service in the nursery. He loves their collection of blocks and trucks and seems to enjoy having new baby and toddler friends to play with. After communion, when all that's left of the service is the post-communion song and prayer, the blessing and benediction, and the closing hymn, JP goes to pick up Landon and bring him back to the pew to sit with us.

Yesterday they came in during the song, which thankfully covered up Landon's excited utterances of "chrch! chrch!" as he walked in. He ran over to me with a big smile on his face and then stood and swayed to the music, clapping enthusiastically (but quietly, thank goodness his hands are small, Lutherans don't clap) when it was over. He seemed confused when he saw other people weren't doing the same. After that, he saw everyone bowing their hands to pray, so he did the same, with his little hands clasped in front of him. He clapped after the prayer was over too. Then came the big closing song, with the full band and choir, and Landon stood in awe of the music filling the big room and then put his arms up and danced. He clapped as we walked out at the end and I thought two things: (1) the world is so much more fun when viewed through a child's eyes and (2) there should be more clapping in church. Also, my kid is adorable. I guess that's three things.

Video Clips and Recs

Before I bought my DSLR I assumed I would continue using my little digital camera for the every day stuff and use the new fancy one for holidays or more purposeful photo taking. As it turns out, I haven't used my old Casio since my Nikon D40 arrived in the mail. This is great because I love my D40 and it takes amazing pictures (and is surprisingly light and portable), but I do miss the video capabilities on my little pocket camera. At this age Landon is so active and so funny that I want to capture his movement and speaking more than a still snapshot.

We had a Canon ZR800 before he was born, but as you can see from the clips below, the quality is less than impressive. Even worse than that, transferring the video to my computer is a pain and it takes two programs just to edit and save the clips and then burn them to a DVD (I hate Windows Movie Maker, or I think I hate it, I definitely can't figure out how to make this all work as easily as I'm sure it should. I'm not doing anything fancy- just cutting out parts of the clips I don't want).

So I ask you, my techno-savvy readers- what do you use for capturing video clips? I'm intrigued by the Flip Video products, especially the Ultra HD, but I'm concerned about shakiness in the video (how's that for a technical term). I'd basically be chasing around after Landon and with a device that small it seems like there's often stabilization issues. I could be swayed to go with a digital camera/video combo again, so if anyone has recommendations for one with great video that takes decent pictures, let me know. I'd like to stay under $300, with bonus points for staying well under it. I'd also like something with pretty good quality - these will be our only video from this time in our lives and I'll be burning them to DVDs to save. I understand I won't be getting big screen TV/DVD perfection, I just want them to be fairly clear and bright.

I'm so glad that we got some of his super fast crawling on video too - I think that's our only clip other than a few of his first successful attempts back in May. And below is a clip (Finally!) of his dance moves. The quality is kind of awful and so is the lighting since he prefers to dance in front of the window in the playroom, but at least you get some idea of his skills. He's wearing a swim cap that he picked up on a recent trip to Lane 4 Swim Shops in Austin. He saw the bin and got very excited about the "hats! Mama HATS!" and ran to try to put one on. The owner loved him and sent us home with one in our bag for free- since then Landon asks us to put it on him at least once a day. I swear we're not actually trying to turn him into a swimmer it just seems to be in his blood.

Let me know your recommendations -- good quality, easy to export and share (this is key, I'm good with picture transferring and editing, and apparently suck with video clips), and not so expensive I have to make myself wait until Christmas to buy it!