6 Week Report Card

I think I said "I love this job" about 27 times today. At least. Though, since I was in meetings with third parties and/or on the phone with investigative subjects much of the day, I kept most of my exclamations inside my head.

But seriously, I LOVE THIS JOB. It's taken a few weeks, and I still have a lot to learn- and I still do at least five things that terrify me every day, but I'm getting the hang of things. I know where to find stuff, know who to ask to do stuff, know the words to use to describe the stuff I'm asking about. I can make calls on my own, I've memorized my warnings under the Privacy Act, I don't fear answering my phone, and I don't get quite so scared to call people and ask questions about things I don't fully understand. Because it doesn't matter if I ask questions that might make me sound dumb (though I'm realizing more and more that my questions aren't dumb, I only fear they're dumb because I'm not a stock/options/financial statement reading expert)- what's important is that I ask the questions and do whatever I need to do to understand the transaction in question in order to best serve my client. And when your client is the federal government, people seem to have a lot of patience with you.

I worked 12 hours today - banking 3 credit hours for a future day off (the glories of government work- if I choose to work extra, I get it back 1-for-1 in vacation later), bounced between four investigations, made five phone calls with third-parties, met with one group of auditors, grabbed a lunch of queso-smothered steak nachos with a group of male co-workers who find my lunch-time appetite amusing, typed up an investigative report, and talked with an options expert in D.C.

I love this job.

In a separate check-up, our renovations our done!  Roger the Contractor is no longer JP's work-from-home co-worker and we have three (almost) fully-functional bathrooms!  Here's a preview of our new master bath (formerly a dark brown very old tiled, drop-ceiling'd, teeny tiny claustrophobic nightmare of a space), with Claire standing on the bench enjoying the rain shower. We love it!

PapaGigi Visit! (extra illustrated)

My parents came to visit this weekend. Their flights were a total debacle- delayed two hours on Friday, delayed, canceled, delayed four hours this afternoon, but the actual visit was wonderful.

Roger the Contractor and his team of merry men stayed until 10 p.m. Friday night to finish up the bulk of the projects. I followed him around, cleaning like crazy, while JP picked up my parents from the airport. We got a sitter and took them out for a very late dinner (thanks to their very delayed flight) at one of our favorite restaurants, arriving home just before midnight- easily the latest we've ever been out since having children. My poor mom was exhausted (she gets up at 3:45 a.m. on school days), but the food was fast and delicious and it was lovely to have a dinner with just the grown-ups. Another first since we had Landon.

Saturday was perfect. The weather, the activities, the non-activities, the kids... just everything. My parents love our house and the neighborhood (my dad said it reminds him of Beverly Hills; that might have been overly kind, but there's no doubt he loved it) and we had 2 out of 3 bathrooms fully functional! I took my parents on a tour of the area, downtown, and my office. There's a rope play gym in the plaza in front of my building where Claire continued her quest to prove she can do anything Landon can do.

We took a multi-generational trip to Lowe's (because we can't let a weekend go by without a visit or three there). The kids stripped and swam about 3 different times. There was a lot of relaxing, laughing, napping, and even a quick shopping trip with my mom. Quickly followed by more relaxing.

We took an evening trip to the famous Fort Worth Stockyards. You can't tell in the picture below, because JP doesn't understand how important it is to show footwear in a photo, but I'm wearing some pretty fabulous cowboy boots with my jean shorts. When in Rome.

Doesn't JP look fabulous in a pearl-button shirt and boots? That man was meant to live in Texas.

Claire loved the stockyards (and loved all the other people who loved her in the stockyards) and made sure to say "Neigh" to every horse we saw. Including every picture of a horse.

Papa and Gigi and grand kids on a large metal spur. Because it's Fort Worth.

This picture makes us fear for her college days.

Seriously. But our BBQ dinner was delicious!

My dad read to Landon. It was supposed to be one chapter because it was so late, but he read three instead. Because he's the Papa.

Today we went on our usual 2.5 mile walk all around the neighborhood and local parks. Then there was swimming and then pizza. Delicious delicious pizza. Then a stop at the Fort Worth Water Gardens.

Which are AWESOME. There is a lot of water, also, a rock mountain. It is Landon's favorite place in Fort Worth besides his school and our own backyard.

It was a really wonderful weekend. We don't get to see my parents enough, thanks to the distance between our cities and the fact that all four adults involved work full-time, but it makes the time extra special when we do.

Good Things

1.  JP and I sat on the couch tonight and watched TV together for the first time since we moved in 5 weeks ago.  A combination of things had to come together to make this happen: JP was not working (he's been working non-stop since February), I was not running renovation-related errands, our couch was not covered in relocated remodeling items, and our cable was connected to the right TV in the right room and the remote was programmed properly. Plus, there was fairy dust and some magic spells said.  It was a lovely 1.5 hours.

2.  90% of the renovation work should be done on Saturday.  I can't spend a dime on decorations (or anything besides food and I suppose new shoes for the kids but only because their toes are busting out the front and Claire keeps taking hers off, but NOTHING ELSE) for another month, and about half the money we ended up having to spend on the house was for boring, invisible things like new electrical wiring and bracing ceilings (turns out, the one above our bed wanted to fall in- awesome!), but it looks great- inside the walls and out.  And we're no longer in danger of spontaneously burning down because of the live uncapped wires in the walls.  I guess that's worth a few grand that could have gone to beautiful furniture and accessories.  I guess.

3.  I found a new local bikini waxer.  I researched and made an appointment with this waxer before I found a pediatrician for my children.  Priorities?

4.  My parents are coming tomorrow!  My house is a mess and they can't use their beautiful new shower because the door won't be installed until Monday but I'm so excited to see them and show them my new city.  Landon's been counting down the days for weeks.

A Home in Progress

(Thank you for what you wrote on the last post. Just, thank you.)

I've mentioned once or twice or every post that my house is bit of a mess right now. Like disorganized dust-covered piles of stuff everywhere kind of mess. The kind of mess no house of mine has ever seen. I wanted to remember it all for the next time we get excited about renovations, so I walked around snapping pictures with my iPhone on Sunday. Behold:

my former sanctuary of a bedroom


family room/den, home of the future wetbar-turned-closet


living room, complete with broken toilets in boxes


sun room/casual eating room/JP's office/empty box storage


alternate view of the living room, now with recessed lights!


future post-mess discount decor

Lovely isn't it? And this is the best the house has looked in 4 weeks. Supposedly the work will be done Saturday. Which is good because (1) my parents arrive for a visit on Friday and (2) we are completely out of money.

Also on Sunday, I chefed a chicken pot pie. From scratch. I adapted it from PW's recipe (I added a lot more veggies, and a little more white wine, flour, and cream - it ended up being two pies. Two delicious pies.) Even Landon, who insists he doesn't like chicken (and refuses to acknowledge the disconnect between that statement and scarfing down organic chicken nuggets), exclaimed, "mommy, I LIKE this chicken!" It was heaven in a pie plate.

Unfortunately, making it created a mess too. I can't escape them.

My aunty K and a cousin came over for dinner last night (my cousin had to see a medical specialist in Dallas, so they flew in for a quick trip). As I showed them around the house, side-stepping toilets without a thought, I realized, ohmygod I've accepted this. Before now, I don't think I'd ever had people in my house when a pile of anything was present anywhere it wasn't supposed to be. The current state of my abode should appall me, but instead, I just called out the occasional warning as we stepped over building materials and then made homemade spaghetti (a recipe I'd never tried and only read once, as evidenced by my attempt to scramble egg in the sauce mixture instead of dumping it in the meatball mixture) and then sat outside on some mismatched chairs and while we watched my kids strip naked and splash in the pool. Somewhere the memory of the hostess I used to be is crying, but we had a great time and it was lovely to see them. One day, it will also be lovely (and not a violation of multiple building violations) to see my house.

hall/guest bathroom, please, don't mind the rubble.

Perhaps on Saturday.

The New Job: Month 1

I meant to write this post on Wednesday, the end of my first month at the SEC, but I ended up spending the 2.5 hours after the kids went to bed at Marshall's, Ross, Home Depot, and Target. Thursday was the same, though about half that time was spent returning things purchased the night before. My life right now is a mass of receipts, dust, and stuff in piles where it isn't supposed to be. I do love this house, and it's going to look amazing when it's done, but my home is not my calm happy place right now and it's all driving me a little crazy. Ten more days, give or take, and all the projects should be done. I can't wait.

But back to the point of this post (there are three separate piles of stuff staring at me while I type this, I couldn't write without addressing them because they are driving me CRAZY, but yes, moving on) -- I've been at my new job for 5 weeks! And never for one fraction of one second have I regretted the move, the hassle, the expense, the pay cut, or the fact that my new house is a mess. The job is awesome. The switch from a "work whenever the partners want you to/check your blackberry every hour you're at home" type job to a 7:30-4 job with absolutely no outside duty hours checking in is a change so fundamental it can't be described or understood unless it's lived. But I'm going to try.

First off, the things I do miss about the firm:

- The pay, of course. My pay cut wasn't that bad (about $30,000/year, not including bonuses I could have earned at the firm and definitely won't earn at the SEC) because my firm doesn't actually pay market (you get the market salary if and only if you hit 2,000 hours, in the form of a year-end lump sum to make up the difference; I missed this last year because the start of the year was so slow in my section- it didn't matter that I had a bunch of 200+ hour months at the end of the year), but it still stings. It stings more when you're renovating a house, but we'll even out. We never really lived off two salaries because JP had just started his job and we were sending every extra dollar to loans, so the only adjustment will be sending less extra in each month (or not at all, I've given myself a year to relax about those). But still, that first direct deposited (smaller) paycheck was a bit of a gut check.

- Water and sodas. Silly, but true. I now have a water dispenser in my office (I know everyone suggested an electric kettle, which I have at home, but there is no potable water at the office at all. The tap water is disgusting and I'm not a picky water drinker.), which I love, but when that 5 gallon bottle ran out I went right back to dehydrated and headachey within a day. Apparently I'm a little addicted to my daily 12 cups of hot tea. I also miss the free lunches- we got free lunches for any CLE, section meetings, birthdays, random days we felt going somewhere nice... the firm Amex got a lot of use. There is no SEC Amex. I'm going to have to start bringing my lunch because even at $7, I can't be buying it everyday.

- Unmonitored internet. Our internet usage is very tightly monitored and regulated. The most exciting website I visit each day is cnn.com. As I wrote before, I do get a whole lot more done every day because of this, and because I can't/don't "make up hours" at night or on the weekends, it is important to work hard while I'm there, but it is still a big change. I used to manage all our finances, pay bills, online shop, make cards/photo book/party invites, write blog posts etc. all during work hours. Now I have to reserve all of that for nighttime. If you've emailed me in the last month, this is why I haven't responded. It's also why I can't blog as much as I used to. It is amazing how many things I used to look up during the day that I can't now - amazon products, restaurant reviews, travel planning... I now keep a list of stuff to look up when I get home so I don't forget.

- Flexibility. This is the biggest adjustment. My hours are unquestionably better at the SEC, but they are also less flexible. At the firm, no one really cared where you were as long as you were getting your work done and your hours billed. Now, between the hours of 7:30 and 4, my desk is exactly where I need to be. 2:00 doctor appointment? That requires entering in 1.0 hours of sick leave. Leaving at 3:00 to see your daughter's Easter show? 1.0 hours of annual leave. It's all a lot more formal. At the firm, I'd come and go as needed and no one kept track of sick days or vacation days. Now I earn 4 hours of leave every two weeks. This means I'll have a day for my friend's wedding in May, but not my brother's graduation later that month. The flipside of this is that if I ever work an extra hour in a day (like staying until 5:00 because of a conference call), I've now earned an extra hour of leave for the future. And the major upside is that I ONLY work those hours. A more than worthwhile trade-off, but a trade-off nonetheless.

What I love about the new job/don't miss about the old one:

- Owning my career. I have gotten better experience in the last 30 days than my 3.5 years at the firm combined. I own my cases, I make the calls, I decide on strategy... it is terrifying and thrilling and a whole lot of trial by fire. It is also awesome. I am definitely gaining expertise in something highly sought after and even though I love what I'm doing, as an obsessive future planner and primary breadwinner of a family of four, I also love knowing that I can go back to firm life any time I want, and I'll be in a much better position than I ever could have attained if I hadn't left. Experience and expertise are power, and other than being two sections' preferred brief writer, I wasn't ever going to get any in a declining general commercial litigation practice.

- The people. I love my new co-workers. When you're working with a bunch of people who are giving up anywhere from $50-500,000/year to work where they are working, it generally means they really like what they're doing. And it is so much fun to be around people who are excited about their work, who are happy in their personal life, and who all think working at the SEC was the best decision they ever made. And since so many are transplants from big firms in DC, they're also very concerned with making sure the new girl feels like part of the family. Other than the fact that I still don't know where the fax machine is, I'd say I've settled in pretty well.

- The work. The work itself is great. I love investigating our cases- mining databases, making calls, and piecing together a story. I still get scared a few times a day- like when I have to make a call and I'm afraid someone will ask a question I won't know the answer to, and much of what I do just generally feels uncomfortable. But new things are supposed to be uncomfortable and I just have to believe I'll feel confident someday. Hopefully soon.

- The power. I can sign subpoenas. There are NO discovery fights. I get calls returned within minutes, generally from someone a whole lot higher up than the person I called in the first place. I get to spend my time on substance and not nonsense. It's awesome.

- My life. On Thursday it was 78 and beautiful. I got home with the kids at about 5:15 and saw that JP was on a call, so we put our feet in the pool to wait for him to finish. The kid started kicking and splashing, so I grabbed a chair and sat off to the side, watching them splash and giggle. By 5:45 both were naked and running and playing on the top two steps, hunting for diving rings (Landon would "hide" some for Claire on the top step and she'd throw some out into the pool for Landon to swim to), and I just got to sit and watch. It was okay that I hadn't started dinner yet - we wouldn't have even been home yet in Austin. It was a gorgeous afternoon. My phone was still in the car, my blackberry wasn't even on... I'm with my kids a lot and I think they get a lot of attention from me, but in that moment, I couldn't remember the last time I'd spent 30 full minutes doing nothing but be with them without a single distraction. No TV, iPhone, book, laptop, laundry, papers to file, nothing. JP came out to join us a few minutes later and by 6:00 they were bundled in towels and he was simmering some tomato cream sauce on the stove for dinner and the evening went on like any other evening. But that 30 minutes pretty well captures the biggest change in my life in the last month and no list of pros and cons can fully capture it.

Easter Monday Round-Up

JP is in Austin for a few days, fulfilling his promise to be back at the home office of his company for 2 days every 2-3 weeks. This did not sound like a big commitment when he made it, and it still isn't one really, but it felt big when he drove away after dinner Sunday night knowing we won't have him back until late Tuesday. I realized later that he's never left me alone with the kids for a night. Ever. I've always been the one traveling and he's always handled everything back home with nary a word of complaint. So I've got this, and it's going completely fine, but I miss him. We work best as a team and despite my insomnia and other sleep issues, I sleep even worse when he's not right next to me. I woke up three times last night and I had no one to snuggle up against or to wake up to tell that I couldn't sleep (because I feel that someone should know) or to startle when I woke up in a panic at 2 a.m. because there was a train and I thought it was a hovercraft (carryover from the Hunger Games I think).

skeptical; doesn't like grass touching her feet

Easter came and went. It was low key and lovely. The Bunny stuck to a strict $40 budget for a new swim suit each, some pool toys, and new books (no candy, because we're mean; also, we prefer baked goods and I made lots of those). So the kids are set for summer and I can finally stop reading "Bark, George" every night.

 
for a brief moment my hair has volume; Honey Badger doesn't care

Claire remained generally skeptical about the egg-hunting. Like what was the big deal? Why is everyone so excited for me to get my feet sandy and pick up some colored plastic balls? Especially when my big brother will get some for me.

 
posing

Seriously, without any prompting from us, Landon very carefully alternated placing the eggs he found in his and Claire's baskets. JP, whose main goal in life was to beat everyone at everything, preferred a "grab all I can before a grown-up yells at me" strategy, and I, who was more diplomatic but still mostly looked out for myself, do not know where he came from.

 
nothing says Easter like a matched set of water guns

We took a long walk and then JP had to cram 14 hours of work into the 10 hours he had left in the day, so I took Claire to Walmart for the continuation of Easter festivities. I agonized over bath towel colors and accessories and Claire picked up a few pillow pet friends to keep her company in the bath aisle. We said goodbye to them before check-out. We got home just before a big rainstorm hit, so the kids and I watched Puss in Boots while JP toiled away. Then I made prime rib for the first time ever, which introduced my only source of stress for the day. We have purchased steak approximately 10 times in our entire marriage and this was the most expensive piece of anything we'd ever put in our shopping cart. AND we somehow lost our meat thermometer and it was raining too hard to make me want to go out and get one. So I winged it (and stressed over it) and read approximately 1,000 online recipes and reviews (and stressed some more).

 
Claire wins at delegating

And it turned out perfectly. I served it with baked garlic fries, fresh green beans, the most delicious au jous ever, and fresh crusty bread. It was amazing and a big step up from the baked ham we usually have but don't actually like. JP drove off, I put the kids to bed, and then I watched Mad Men all by myself and got totally freaked out after googling the story of the serial killer rapist referred to in the show.

 
ridiculous

Our renovations continue. I was going to post updated pictures, but now I think I'll wait until everything is done in a room to post it. It's costing what could have been Claire's full college fund, but I'm sure she won't hold that against us down the road. I've lost years of my life agonizing over etsy purchases for wall decor and near daily trips to Lowe's, Home Depot, and/or (usually and) Target. Tonight's post-dinner run with the kids netted us a beautiful arctic white drop-in sink, lovely polished chrome shower fixtures, and coordinating vanity light. When we pulled up to the store Landon cried out, "Oh, but this store is BORING!" Obviously he hasn't been watching enough HGTV.

Tornadoes and Bunnies

Things are good here. As I'm sure many of you saw, we had some tornado (tornadic?) action early in the week. I like to think of it as a personal welcome from the meteorological forces of Fort Worth. We lived less than 3 hours away for 4 years and never even had a tornado watch. We live here for less than 3 weeks and get sirens and lock-downs and semi trucks being tossed about in the air a few short miles away. I watched the sky turn black and green from my office on the 19th floor, hearing stories about how a tornado ripped apart downtown Fort Worth a few years ago, tearing apart the building that sits right next to my kids' downtown daycare. Excellent.

Luckily the tornadoes stayed pretty clear of Fort Worth. Even more luckily, despite the destruction and the jaw-dropping footage of multiple truck trailers being tossed about in the sky, no one was killed. The kids' daycare moved all the kids to a downstairs, internal room, mostly under the stairs. The teachers, in all their wisdom, brought books, flashlights, and snacks and called it a camp-out. Landon thought it was awesome and asked to do it again the next day when I picked him up.

Thursday marked the first day Claire didn't sob like her heart was breaking at daycare drop-off. There was a whimper and a little extra snuggle, but she went willingly to her teacher and marched off in the direction of the other toddlers. Thank god, I was losing hope that I'd ever get out of that building without severe emotional trauma.

Thursday was also the Easter party/egg hunt. Parents were invited and I knew I had to be there on time because Claire was going to lose it if a whole bunch of mommies showed up and hers did not. When I walked in the room, she dropped her cookie and juice and yelled, "MAMA!!" at the top of her lungs. She refused to be more than 2 inches away from me while in the classroom, and glared and barked "mama" at anyone who dared to make eye contact with me. So all my pictures are very close up:

 

Until she got her basket and immediately converted it to a weapon. This picture captures Claire perfectly. All the other kids, sweetly holding their baskets, and Claire whipping it around in glee.

 

We proceeded to the hunt, where Claire was highly skeptical of her need to separate from me to grab an egg. She finally complied with all the well-intentioned fun, selecting a purple egg and then showed it to me like, "there, I got it, all done now?"

 

She ended up grabbing a few more, getting into it enough to exclaim, "Ohhhh!" every time she spotted one in the grass. We said goodbye to the teachers and parents, Claire blew her usual enthusiastic kisses to the group, and proceeded upstairs to collect Landon. Claire marched in his room like she owned the place.

 

Seriously. All the older kids know her and fed her ego with exclamations of, "Clairebear! Clearbear is here!"

With Landon collected, off we went at 4:30 in the afternoon, bunnies, baskets, and backpacks in hand for an evening filled with special treats courtesy of Papa and Gigi.

My parents had mailed the kids bunnies and $20 each for Easter. The kids got the bunnies but JP and I appropriated the $40 to treat the family to burgers and frozen yogurt in the middle of the week, a previously unheard of luxury. I realized we might be a bit strict on the "no dessert" thing when Landon nearly fainted when we handed him a frozen yogurt cup all of his own to fill with toppings. Best moment of his life right there.

in their favorite spot on Landon's (little, twin) bed

I'm about to embark on a baking frenzy for our parties this weekend. I'm blessed with some really great co-workers, most of whom live less than a mile away. We have an egg-hunt with one family this afternoon and then brunch with another tomorrow. Several stopped by to make sure we had plans for the weekend. Most are transplants from D.C., either the home office or other firms, so they know what it's like to feel displaced and like us, none have family nearby, which is very different from most of the families we knew in Austin. I'm not sure if I've said it yet, but nothwithstanding a few tornadoes, we really love it here.

Light

I was sitting in my new bright green deck chair after dinner, enjoying the 76-degrees-with-a-breeze air and the fact that it was 7:15 and I had nothing I needed to do. I called a law school friend I hadn't talked to in a while, chatted with my mom, and then just sat for a while in the evening light. JP was working, the kids were in bed... it was lovely. I snapped a picture:

Tex is hiding somewhere in that greenery, he is quite the outdoorsman now that we have some ground cover and trees. I panned over to the left to get the renovation station in all its glory. That door leads to the laundry room, separate toilet area for people to use while they're in the pool (our front hall bathroom would require walking all the way across the hardwood floors to access), and master bath. At the moment, none of that is accessible and my washer and dryer are unplugged, dusty, and living in my bedroom. Snazzy.

And then left a little more to the left to our wall of windows: master bedroom, family room, and sun room, the last of which houses our casual dining table and JP's new home office. He may be tired of talking on the phone 10 hours a day, but there's no doubt his view is much improved from his old windowless cubicle.

And while I sat in my backyard... just sitting... I had the biggest smile on my face. I'm so happy you guys. I love this job. I love the actual work, the people, the responsibility, the subpoena power, the places it will take me whenever (if ever) I'm ready to leave. But more than that, I love the schedule. I love getting to work at 8 and leaving at 4:30. I love that I pull in the driveway, kids in tow, at 5:00. I love that we can splash in the pool for 15 minutes before I remember to stick dinner in the oven and we're still eating by 6:00. I love dog-piling in Landon's bed, tickling and cuddling and singing and reading every single book requested because it's only 6:45 and we have time to waste. I love that when they're tucked in, the evening is mine. I love that I've never looked at my blackberry after hours. I knew this would be a good move for my family, but a reality without blackberries cannot really be understood until it is lived. We were happy and we were fine while I was at the firm, but in spite of the move and unpacking and the overwhelming number of acronyms and systems and names I've had to learn, the past three weeks have been some of the happiest, easiest, lightest days I've spent in a long while. I'm so glad we're here.

The Middle

We're still in the middle of the renovations. There is dust and tile and doors and stacks of half of Lowe's inventory all over my floors. It has the potential to make me crazy, so I just try not to look down when I walk around the house. There is so much to buy when you re-do a bathroom: floor tile, shower tile, shower floor tile, border tile, shower door, shower faucet, bathtub, bathtub faucet, towel rods, drawer pulls, paint, toilet, toilet paper holder, linens... SO MUCH. Times 3 bathrooms, plus a recent move and a barely restrained urge to sell every single thing I own and replace it with something completely different and it all adds up to a lot of trips to Lowe's and a lot of checking the credit card balance. I'm preaching patience, and trying to practice it, but a year from now I expect to have a whole lot more clean lines, bright colors, and polished chrome. I did stop by T.J. Maxx on Saturday and found a throw pillow that personifies my vision for the living room. Bright, funky, and fun. It all starts with a $16 pillow.

And luckily, while boxes wait to be unpacked and rooms wait to be decorated (and tile waits to be grouted), the pool is ready and waiting. And with temperatures hitting the 90's today, the kids were ready to jump in.

Claire sticks to the top step, but Landon did great with his swim lesson refresher with JP. After a few minutes he was floating on his back by himself and even swam all the way across the shorter width of the pool!

This picture is from Friday night, but the expression on Claire's face just kills me. JP had gone for a long run before dinner and jumped into the pool to cool off. This is her classic happy feisty Bear face.

She may be slightly obsessed with me lately (she marches around the house barking, "mom! MOM! mom. MOM!" anytime I'm not in her line of sight... the woman at the paint store found it hilarious), but she loooooves her daddy too.

In between trips to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Target, we enjoyed another great weekend. We brought over gifts and homemade bread to our neighbors with the newborn who brought us wine and flowers the night we moved in. I got to hold a squishy 4-week-old for an hour while we got to know each other and it was wonderful (the grown-ups seem great too). We found a fabulous local pizza place with a neon plaster cow out front. Landon tried to milk it, much to the amusement of other waiting families. I cooked up a storm for the work-week, singing along to the radio (I must say, the radio stations here are a huge step up from Austin), and listening to the kids giggle and splash in the pool with JP. We had pork tenderloin and twice baked potatoes tonight, we'll have homemade lasagna tomorrow, and chicken enchiladas on Tuesday. I used pretty much every pan I have and every burner on the stove, but I love looking at the fridge and knowing we're going to have good food for the next few days. (Wednesday is leftover lasagna and Thursday is frozen fish. Friday is Mexican food and margaritas, because it's not a Friday without a little tequila.)

And this is one of my favorite moments from the weekend. The kids were playing in their room Saturday morning while I cleaned up breakfast and I realized it had been quiet for a little too long. I tiptoed over, camera in hand (because honestly, with them, quiet is more likely the result of something adorable than the result of anything bad), and found this:

Landon heard the shutter click on the camera and popped his head up saying, "Mommy, we're camping!!" And so they continued to camp on and off for most of the morning.

No camping permit, tent, bug spray, or night spent trying (and failing) to sleep in said tent required.

A Few Completely Unrelated Thoughts

1. I can't access anything fun from my work computer. It is amazing how much you can accomplish in eight hours without gmail, facebook, blogs, youtube, or anything else interesting besides the news. I'm way behind on personal emails and I'm now a terrible member of the blogging commenting community (I'm still reading though!), but there's no doubt it's good for my law life.

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2. I'm losing weight. The pants I put on this morning, which fit a few weeks ago, were bagging all over the place. There will always be a part of me that feels happy at the idea of weighing less, but I really don't have the time, money, or interest in re-buying my work clothes, so I need to make an effort to eat normally. I'm a stress non-eater, I just lose all appetite and my stomach gets all angry and anti-sustenance, and I suppose life has been a little stressful lately. I didn't think I was feeling stressed, but pants don't lie.

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3. We've given away all our baby stuff. I'm still holding on to some of the clothes, and Claire still has her crib and changing table, but we sold the swing, jumperoo, and pretty much everything else before we moved. Every time we sold something I waited to feel sad, but I just... wasn't. I felt good, light, happy. I hate hanging on to extra stuff in general, but as those specific items left our attic, I felt a growing sense of peace with the fact that we're done. Or at least I'm done. Landon and Claire - those are my kids and this is my family and it's great. I'm content in a way my ambitious always-looking-the-next-thing younger self never imagined I'd be. Oh, I'm still ambitious, but I'm also happy to focus on the day, the moment, in a way I wasn't before, and our happy, easy home life is a huge part of that. But while I felt better and better about our family of four, JP got sadder and sadder with every item we gave away. His thoughts run along the lines of, "we made two awesome kids, we should make two more!". I'm not completely foreclosing any future possibilities, but I'd be surprised if Claire ends up a middle child. And a little sad we have to re-buy a dozen pieces of plastic baby gear.

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4. Claire still sobs (SOBS) at daycare drop off. It is ripping my heart out morning by morning. JP is taking her tomorrow because I need a day off from the emotional trauma. Landon, on the other hand, adores his class. I don't even get a hug goodbye anymore- I'm lucky if he throws a wave over his shoulder as he skips in to the room. Unlike her brother, Claire really would prefer to spend her days within 2 feet of JP, me, and/or (preferably "and") Landon. She's both 10x feistier and 10x clingier than her brother. As JP and I say, Claire is just more. More of everything- good, bad, loud, injurious... everything. Landon loved being with us, but he never preferred one of us over the other and he never minded being left in the loving care of someone else. Claire wants me, mama, all the time. Holding her, touching her, sitting next to her... me. And while it can be a little (lot) exhausting, sometimes at night, post-bath and pre-book, while Landon flits about collecting all his tiny plastic animals that must be in bed with him, and we're both on Landon's bed, silently watching him, our cheeks will touch and we'll sigh at the same time and we'll just be. And I know that this is one of the happiest moments of her day, because the whole family is in the same room and she's touching me, and it's one of my happiest moments too. And it's nice to just sit and revel in that.