Doing This

While driving back from lunch today, a co-worker turned and asked, "what would you be doing if you could have any job and money wasn't an issue?"

And I thought, and I thought, and I finally said, "I think this one."

He called me a nerd and a suck-up, of course, and then after reminding me that my car was not bugged (and I'm a whole 4-weeks senior to him and don't need to suck up to him anyway), he asked me again. And I said with more conviction this time, "I'd be doing this." If I could make the rules I suppose I'd be doing this while earning double and triple vacation and would use my magical "money doesn't matter" card to take trips with JP and the kids all over the world every few months. But day to day? I think I'd be a lawyer. And if I'm going to be a lawyer, I'd want to be a lawyer for the SEC. At least at this stage of my career.

He reminded me one last time that there are no rules and I don't need to couch things in terms of "this stage of my career," but I can't help but think that way. Someday I might like to be a law firm partner or general counsel of a financial institution, maybe, but I'm not qualified for that job right now and can't imagine doing that job right now, so I don't want that job right now. And you guys, I really love this job. I ran 8 telephone conferences today, questioned a witness, talked to two name partners of AmLaw 20 law firms, and sent out a ton of correspondence, all of which I know will be answered immediately. This job is amazing. I'm sure there are others that are even more amazing, but I don't want for what I don't know.

I think the answer to this question is supposed to something artsy or creative- some hobby you love but that either doesn't pay well or that you aren't quite good enough to get paid for. But I don't have anything like that. I enjoy photography, but I have no interest in taking pictures of other people or inanimate objects and my kids will only allow so many flashes in their presence. I like music in a pedestrian, radio-station listening kind of way. I used to be a good flute player and I'd like to pick it back up one day, but not full time. I am terrible at drawing, painting, and anything else artistic and am at peace with that. I'm good at making Shutterfly photo books, but really, how much time can you spend on that over a month or year? JP's answer would be something entrepreneurial- some activity you enjoy that you could now magically make a living at. But I don't have any ideas or desires there either. The mere thought of owning my own business gives me hives, insomnia, and a headache almost immediately. I would not handle it well, even in this hypothetical world.

Then there's charitable causes. And I am probably revealing myself as a terrible and/or selfish person, but I have no innate desire to do much of anything related to the number of charities we support. I'd like to have more money so I can send them more money, and I'm so glad they all have talented and dedicated people that do their work and fight for their causes, but I don't actually want to DO want they do.

Later it occurred to me that I could/should have said, "stay home." But I don't have any interest in that either. Work less? Sure. Take more family trips? Definitely. Skip work without repercussion on days Claire is being extra adorable or Landon wants to go to the zoo? Yes please! But not having a job or career... that's just not my dream either.

I briefly entertained saying doctor or teacher, both past career plans of mine, but I rejected them over the years for good reason. Law suits me. It combines writing, analytics, creativity, facts, rules, team work, individual work, and high heels.

And so by a combination of lack of imagination, hobbies, skills, and entrepreneurial or charitable drive, a genuine love for what I do, and an overly practical mind that doesn't respond well to hypothetical situations, it appears that I'm working in my dream job. And what a lovely thing to realize as you drive circles up the parking garage on your way back in to work on a Wednesday afternoon.