Landon has been wearing his "Big Brother" t-shirt for the last two days, so I figured this was a good time to talk about his upcoming transition to sibling. People keep asking if he's excited about the baby, and it's hard to say - to the extent that he grasps the concept, he's very excited about it. When we go up to the nursery he likes to point out where the baby will sleep and talk about how "we don't hurt the baby" and "babies like to sleep a lot." A bunch of his friends at daycare are new siblings- maybe this is something they're talking about while eating sand? He also likes to bring toys into the nursery and leave them behind for the baby- then after a few days go by and there's still no baby, he'll take them back and replace them with new ones. He probably can't figure out why the baby won't just come home to be with us and he's trying to sweeten the deal.
As I wrote about last week, Landon did FINALLY notice my big belly. Up until then, I think he thought the baby lived at the doctor because whenever I said I was going to the doctor he would ask if I was going to see the baby and tell me to give it a kiss. I figured a baby living at the doctor made as much sense as a baby living in my belly, so we didn't push it. Then, about a day or two after the great moment of belly awareness, Landon asked where the baby was. I told him it was in mommy's tummy. He said, "no it's not, it's at the doctor" and then walked off with his train. One day after that he told me that he had a very little baby in his tummy and I had a bigger one in my tummy AND there was a really big baby at the doctor. So we have three babies. I think. I'm not really clear myself. He does like to pat my belly and tells me that the baby is sleeping, so he seems to have some grasp of the baby in the belly concept. We're kind of just gliding along, answering his questions when he asks them and talking about the baby when he does.
I remain so excited for the two of them to meet and I'm optimistic that he will do well with his little sister. He loves babies and was the only toddler to reach out to the new babies whenever one graduated into his old daycare class. The teachers said he'd bring them toys and hand them things on the playground, while the other kids didn't really notice the new additions. He'll continue to go to daycare throughout the summer (though I hope and plan to pick him up early), so his universe won't be completely rocked. In the evenings when we're together, JP will be home to help out, so I should still be able to have lots of Landon-mommy time. And he's also just such a mellow kid- very little seems to phase him. At least I hope it goes well; I was just thinking tonight as I tucked him in bed that sometimes I can't believe how much I love him, and I can't believe I'm soon going to have two little ones to love that much. It's amazing one heart can hold it all.
My biggest concern about the entire event is what we'll do with Landon if I go into labor prior to my 39-week c-section date. It's so different having to worry about a pre-existing child this time around. We're lucky to have friends nearby who have volunteered to help out, but they have jobs and kids of their own and I'd still feel like JP should leave the hospital to come be with Landon once the baby is born so that the little guy will have some normalcy. Hopefully my mom and/or dad can come over quickly from Houston, but my mom still has to teach until June 3 so she couldn't stay long. My worst case scenario involves JP needing to stay at the house with Landon at night while I stay alone at the hospital. I actually like hospitals, so it's not that I'm afraid, I just hate having to bug the nurses for all the little comforts I may randomly need - it's so much better to have a JP sleeping next to me who can get my chapstick and hold my hand and plug in my cell phone into the charger.
Overall, I'm just ridiculously excited about meeting this baby girl and watching Landon meet and get to know his little sister.
P.S. I'm flying to Houston for a 2-day workshop at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning, but if you miss me, here's my last two All Kinds of Pretty posts as well as a link to a great giveaway!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
From an Only to a Brother
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On the subject of new siblings, the family I nannied (is that a word?) for in college actually enrolled their eldest in "sibling anticipation and preparation" classes prior to the birth of her little brother in order to acclimate her. can you believe there's such a thing?
ReplyDeleteI sent my husband home to stay with our oldest when I was at the hospital with the baby. My comfort level with that came about because:
ReplyDelete-we live 5 minutes from the hospital, so it doesn't take long for him to get back if needed.
-I may get heat for this but: I sent our son to sleep in the nursery. I learned with our first that DH was useless in helping at night at the hospital, and per hospital rules for c-section recovery is that I was not to lift the baby out of the isolette ( not that I felt able to do it anyway, as it meant sitting up, standing, up and walking) so I had to call a nurse to help me. Since that took time, I just figured it would be just as easy to have him in the nursery where they can do it. ( another dirty little secret, even though I was nursing, I gave the OK for him to have a bottle of formula for the first overnight feed so I could get some rest..never caused any issues). Then for the early am feeding they'd bring him back to me for the day.
-I knew our daughter needed the stability of having Daddy home at night. In fact, he spent more time at home than at the hospital. It just seemed to us that it was important for him to spend time with her rather than at the hospital at me where we would just be passing the baby back and forth and chit chatting.
How sweet and cute about Landon.
ReplyDeleteTry not to stress too much about the "what ifs" - it will somehow work out in the end. You are aware of the issues involved and IF the "what if" occurs, I am sure that you and JP will handle it fine. And Landon will grow even more from the experience.
You are at such an exciting time in your life. A life which is about to get much busier in the not too distance future. Just do your best to relax and enjoy each moment of it while it's here. When you muse about the future, try to stick to the happy thoughts. What's the point of expending mental energy on something that may never happen?
We just had our second child three months ago, and I agree with Laura. Even though my in-laws came to watch my older son during the day, my husband went home at night to be with our son. I enjoyed the alone time with the baby (even though you are worried about Landon right now, it is hard to get quiet alone time with the baby once you get home). I also found it more helpful to have a husband who had a decent night's sleep to help when I got home. I didn't have a c-section though, so I can understand needing help with picking up and all.
ReplyDeleteOne note on preparing Landon. I would stress to Landon that you are so happy to have him help you with the baby, but that if he has an idea to "help" the baby, he should ALWAYS tell you first. A toddler's idea of "help" can be very dangerous to a baby (feeding it no, no foods, giving baby tiny objects that are choking hazards, etc.)
Three babies! I'm picturing them like Russian nesting dolls.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, we regularly talk about babies and how they grow in their mommy's tummy, including all sorts of details about how they're attached with an umbilical cord which gets cut at birth, and get oxygen and nutrients from their mom... we've even looked at diagrams. So I think K will be all set when #2 rolls around, at least in terms of the biology part.
You really should let the nurses hand the baby to you that first day or 2 after the section. Although you may feel fit, there are moments of almost dizziness that can come on from the meds. The twins stayed in the hosp. nursery but I was woken up every 2 hours to feed them...no rest and I was a mess emotionally/physically as it was my 1st experience being a Mom. With my next baby, I felt so great, like I knew all the ropes, so confident. The baby was in my room and I had no issues getting up and feeding her. It was perfect and I think it's because I was an experienced mom...as you are. :-)
ReplyDeleteDesimom