Thursday, January 28, 2010

My Firstborn

Landon and I went on a date to CiCi's pizza last night. We had so much fun "cheering" our pizza slices (ever since the family reunion/birthday party at my parent's house he always wants to say cheers and clink glasses at dinner) and talking about his day - actually conversing - that I had a moment where I nearly got choked up thinking about this kid before me. He still has a bit of baby in him, and I love everything about this older model, so it's not really sadness, it's more like gratitude that we're here and this is so easy and I love it so much.

(after dinner, in his "fighterman" hat that he later wore in the bathtub)

There's always a lot of talk amongst parents on how best to space out your kids. And while I can understand the advantages of having your children close together- whether purposefully or on accident, I am so glad that I've been able to enjoy Landon's toddlerhood with him as an only child. In the past year and a half I've watched him change from an immobile baby who communicates by yelling at me in crying form, to a walking, talking, running, dancing, laughing, hugging, adorable little boy. And I've loved every second of it.

He won't remember all the time we've spent together- or all the times he's made me laugh or clap while he shows off a new trick, but I will. And after his first year when I loved him but didn't exactly love motherhood, I'm so glad we waited until now to add another. I already feel I have to step back from him just a little bit - because picking him up hurts my back or because I'm just so exhausted at the end of the day I want him to go to bed so I can turn catatonic on the couch, and I don't like feeling torn between my toddler and my pregnancy. I know our baby girl will add a new level of love to our family, and I look forward to it, but it's been a very special past 18 months with Landon.

And speaking of the little guy. He usually wakes up around 8, so I don't set an alarm clock- I just wait for his head to appear by my pillow with a "Hi Mama!" or until I hear a call from the top of the stairs. I slept terribly last night so I didn't wake up on my own until 8:30 and was shocked to see the time. I logged in on my work laptop and answered some emails and them climbed up the stairs to see what was delaying him. I found this:

The dump truck was not on his bed when he went to sleep, so he'd gone to get it whenever he woke up, put his puppy and shark in the truck bed, and was reading them "Dear Zoo." As I opened the door I heard him say, "Then I go an elephant!! but it was TOO BIG."

I can't wait to see him read it to his little sister.


  1. So incredibly adorable!! I was worried so much about dividing my attention, and at first it was a struggle, but I find now that Charlie and I have lots of fun "big boy" time while Wes is napping.

    And I know I've seen it before, but Landon's room is so sweet!

  2. Thanks Becca - I can see the division (to the extent there is one) being easier after the baby is actually born. My limitations right now are mostly physical due to the pregnancy- those I suppose the exhaustion will stick around, just for a different reason!

  3. I felt that way a lot when i was pregnant with my second daughter. You'll be surprised how much a second makes you love your first too. By rights the two kids' experiences are completely different, but you know what, that's totaly okay. Different is good - they are two different people anyway.

    Also, what time do you have to be at work? What time do you usually leave at the end of the day? I have to get up around 5AM everyday, I usually leave the house before my girls are up. I'm at work by 7:30AM. Yikes, I'm so not a morning person, so jealous of you. I work in a construction related profession, so that's just the way it is in this field.

  4. I usually get to work about 9:15 or 9:30. My office is less than 10 minutes from my house, and I take less than 30 minutes to get ready, so that all makes my mornings pretty easy. We pack Landon's lunch the night before and he just eats cereal and a banana before daycare, so he's easy too. JP usually drops him off in the morning since he doesn't have class until 11, so I just get up in enough time to pluck him out of bed and sit with him at the kitchen table while I check emails and then I'm on my way around 9.

    I frequently stay up late working, logging in another 2-3 hours after Landon goes to bed, so it works out well that I get up rather late. As much as I'm looking forward to #2, I'm not looking forward to #2 messing up our quick and lazy morning routine!

  5. Speaking of schedules, you probably haven't seen this story in the Guardian newspaper (UK)

    Thought you may be interested - Farhana describes herself as a worker, much like you - being happiest busy!

    (For some reason cut and paste isn't working in this box - or up and down arrow - strange!)

  6. Oh wow! I love the reading in bed. So cute!!! (And you're a typical BigLaw attorney with the work hours. I actually work the same hours - staying late and/or working at home after B's in bed, preferring to enjoy the morning with him before school.)