Tomorrow I join the masses of barbri students for a 3-day practice MBE workshop. I am not excited. I know it will be good for me to see the practice questions (for the first time) and get properly freaked out about how little I know and how much there is to learn. Fear and looming deadlines have always been my big study motivators.
But I don't want to get scared yet. I'm enjoying my frequent pauses of the recorded lectures to play with Landon and JP. I am reveling in all our fun family giggle time. I am not ready to get serious about studying. The Firm has given me office space and I've promised myself I will start going there during the day in July to study the way I'm supposed to. It's only a few miles from the house and I'm not putting in 15 hour days or anything, but I think that impending "hunker down date" is leading to my loss of focus here at the end of June. I know July is going to suck and I want to squeeze as much fun out of June as possible. Right now the Bar (July 29-31) feels far away and I can pretend that I have plenty of time to learn all 10 million exceptions and caveats to every law in Texas. Today I even afforded myself the luxury of an unplanned 2.5 hour nap. I never take naps. Apparently I was really tired (Landon cried from 1:50-3:50 AM; I hate teeth) as I fell asleep on the couch, in daylight, while listening to a lecture. Even when I had a severe case of mono naps never came that easily, maybe I should have tried listening to constitutional law.
I don't start work until September 2nd, so I'll have the month of August to relax and enjoy my boys. And like I said, I'm not planning to go nuts and study every waking moment for four weeks. I just like where I am right now - nearly caught up, not feeling pressure, and safely before my July 1 deadline for actually learning the material. I don't want to have to face the reality of how much I need to do. But of course I will and I have a feeling staring at that practice exam tomorrow is going to give me a surge of panic-induced motivation. That panic, and a possibly undeserved talent for test taking, has gotten me through every other major exam in my life. Just one more...
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