Running on Caffeine and Christmas Pajamas

Y'all it has been a DAY. I'm typing this at 3:39 p.m. and in one minute I will have already been up for exactly 12 hours. I should be on a beach in Belize right now, sipping a cocktail and watching my hot husband and smiling children splashing about the cerulean blue sea (a sea which I had already painted my nails to match).

Instead I'm very much in Fort Worth, wearing my flannel polar bear pajamas at 11 a.m., watching Christmas movies with the girls, drinking a diet coke to stay awake and wondering what meal I should be eating now.

Because we left our house at 4:30 this morning to get to the airport for our much-anticipated un-Belize-able Thanksgiving in Ambergris Caye, Belize. Our first family beach trip since Curacao, we were really looking forward to the ocean views and quality time together with our five pack. We got to the airport in plenty of time, parked the car, sailed through the international check-in with our negative Covid test results all printed out and vaccine cards in our passport holders, watched the kids breeze through security like pros, and waited by our gate for flight 1 of 3 today, expecting to be beachside by mid-afternoon.

Except no. When it was finally it was time to board, everyone lined up... and then nothing happened. And then more nothing. And then they announced they were taking our plane out of service. They found another plane, but it would take two hours to get it in place. That meant we- along with nearly everyone else headed to Miami at 7 a.m.- would miss our connection to somewhere else.

The line for the gate agent was longer than the length of the plane. I jumped on the phone, James got in line, and we tried to figure out what on earth we could do. There were no other flights from Miami to Belize later today or anytime tomorrow. The one time we check bags and they were now trapped on a plan we'd no longer be on. Our shuttle flight to the island was already booked, along with our snorkel tours and family golf cart (you can't rent cars on the island, which is adorable)- it was all a mess.

But with patience for the poor airline employees who caused none of this, and two phones, two hours, and three patient kids now sitting on the airport floor, we made a new plan and will now travel Tuesday - Sunday, waited another hour at the airport to get our bags off the plane, retrieved our car from long term parking, and by 10 a.m., 5 hours after arriving, we were on our way back home.

The kids were such troopers, so much so that James and I couldn't even complain; it seemed like we should really follow their example. I'm now going to put up our Christmas decorations tomorrow (sitting on the couch and watching cheesy movies is all I can handle today), so our Christmas House will be ready on our now late-Sunday night return. Everything is staying packed - we hardly need swimsuits and sundresses here, a new round of Covid tests have been scheduled, and hopefully the next time we drive to DFW we won't drive back for five more days.

As luck would have it, one of my first thoughts on our drive home from the airport was "well I guess I could do a blog post today!" and right about then I got two comments asking how I was doing after weeks without any posts. So here I am! Literally, right here. On my couch. I never intended to take a break from the blog, but life, work, and family got so busy and so full - AND I started and finished (just last night!) our annual photobooks, and I could not spare a moment. Or rather, when I did have a moment, I did not want it to involve a computer. Plus we had a lot of events and travel and November was (still is?) CRAZY.

But we are doing well! Very well in fact and I'm going to do a quick and dirty picture-filled recap because if there's anything my thousand-hour annual photobooking marathon reminds me of, it's how much I treasure writing down our day to day. And if there's anything that comforts me when James and I both talk so fondly of the golden toddler years, it's looking back through my stories and knowing we soaked up every ounce of them that we could. And that we're doing the same now.

So! Jumping back to when we left off, in mid-October when James turned the big 4-0!

He's not really into celebrating his own birthday, but we went out for a fancy dinner with the kids and they got quite a kick out of it. Then we got home to a surprise yard sign (well, surprise to him) and he seemed pretty tickled.

The kids made him a pile of cards, I made him his favorite cake, and I think he had a pretty happy birthday indeed. Not to mention the fact that he broke all his previous lifting records at the gym that same week and continues going best times in the pool (and heads to compete at the U.S. Open again in two weeks!) and I think 40 looks pretty great on him.

The next week I got to see my very first broadway show of my very first Bass Performance Hall Broadway Season Pass! I've wanted season tickets for years, waited until our budget allowed, then waited on the waiting list, then waited through the Covid shutdowns, and just now FINALLY got to bid for seats and I got two GREAT ones in center orchestra with a friend of mine from work and I AM SO EXCITED.

I wore my new shirt and new pants (from this trip), dried my hair for the first time in forever, and nearly danced into the beautiful Bass Performance Hall. We were seeing Come From Away, which I had never even heard of. I had zero expectations and knew whatever it was it would be great. And then, 100 minutes of non-stop magical musical perfection in which I laughed and cried throughout, often both at the same time, I clapped so hard my hands got swollen. It was one of the best plays I've ever seen. I truly cannot recommend it more highly.

Soon after that night we got a brief bit of fall-ish weather and Maggie joyfully returned to hoodies and sweaters for a few days.

We enjoyed a very fun Halloween with friends- Landon was a Hawaiian tourist guy, Claire was an angel, Cora was a puppy, and Maggie was a rainbow.

For the first time ever, Claire didn't trick-or-treat with us and instead spent the evening with new friends a few neighborhoods over. She is LOVING middle school, has massively expanded her social circle, and I'm just thankful she still loves a couch date with mom.

A few days later I headed over to San Antonio to love on my grandparents as my grandpa is just not doing very well. His heart, which has done its best after his heart attack four years ago, is simply starting to fail. These extra years with him have truly been a gift, and while we don't know that this is truly the end, we've had some scary moments and I'm trying to visit all three of them as often as possible. After my Grandma Jo passed earlier this year I know more than ever how precious each moment with my grandparents is to me.

That weekend we got to celebrate James's big birthday with a grown-ups only trip to Monterey, California.

We spent 3 nights at an inn on the ocean outside Carmel and just like when I visit Colorado, any time I go to California I leave wondering why on earth I don't live there too.

It is so spectacularly beautiful. And while James wanted to call the kids 6x a day (I got him down to 2), we both definitely enjoyed our second-ever trip away from them. We hiked, slept, ate, napped, enjoyed the inn's daily afternoon wine and cheese reception, hiked some more, saw sea lions in the wild, visited Bixby bridge, explored the Aquarium, shopped, and ate- and then ate again. It was glorious. After 20 years together, I sure do love this guy.

And as is traditional for your spouse's milestone birthday, I got a diamond necklace.

It was an accidental find, in a charming little jewelry shop in Carmel- but I have been looking for a few years for something small, but nice, that could be worn dressed up at work, but also dressed down on the weekends, that was meaningful, but not cutesy, and mostly, that was not something I was seeing at every other store. And on our way to lunch (or possibly second lunch?), I found this little 5 ring necklace- one ring for each member of my precious family- and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. And so we went back the next day and bought it. James was so pleased with his gift. I wear it everyday.

The week we returned I had an appointment with a wardrobe stylist. I decided this was my year of using experts in areas were I myself lack skill. And one of those areas is outfits and layering and using what I already have to feel fabulous instead of looking for something elusive to get me to feel that way that likely doesn't even exist.

I found Bonnie recommended on our local neighborhood page and oh my gosh she was everything I hoped she'd be. She gave me ideas on styles that look good on me (I haven't moved out of the low rise jeans of the 90's), suggested brands to look for online and in resale shops, and gave me an overall review of my closet- pieces that stood out to her, areas where it might be worth investing in a piece. I then spent a weekend doing a deep clean of my closet and she came back to create an outfit "look book" for me out of clothes, shoes, and accessories I already owned:

My goal with the closet edit was to remove absolutely anything I didn't want to see in an outfit created by her. That perspective helped so much- just because I used to love something doesn't mean I'd be excited about wearing it now. I also switched to velvet hangers, decreased my inventory by nearly half, and genuinely LOVE everything left in there. And then when Bonnie came back she spent 2 hours putting together more creative work and casual outfits for me. In her words, she steered clear of the obvious (I've got that covered), and focused on combining things in new ways. I absolutely love it and have worn top-to-bottom at least half of her looks already.

I think this might be something I do each season until I feel more confident in pulling things together. And I LOVE how it's made me view my clothes- now I see my closet as a hallway of treasures instead of this crowded space where I can't find anything to wear. It was the best $$ I've spent this year.

And two days after that (5 days after returning from California), we drove to San Antonio for my cousin's wedding! Kristian is my second-youngest cousin, born a full 16 years after me, so he's closer in age to all my children than to me. His mother is my godmother, my Aunty Mary, who died four years ago, so we all wanted to be there to support him on this big day.

We rented a giant house on the Guadalupe River with my parents, sister and her 3 girls, brother and his twins, my aunt and uncle from Atlanta, my cousin and her 2 kids, and my other cousin. 25 people and it was a BLAST. We grabbed a quick photo of my parents and all 8 of their grandchildren! Hard to believe we added 3 just this year.

I taught yoga by the river in the morning.

Tiny cousins ran around everywhere and with 4 babies under 9 months old, my kids were in HEAVEN.

Also on the day of the wedding, Cora turned 8!

My sweet tiny, perfect, easy, desperately-made-me-want-a-4th, her-first-year-was-the-happiest-year-of-my-life, third-baby is 8!

We are all a little shaken by this. Except Cora. She's aboslutely got this big kid thing down and she LOVED being an "older" cousin (2nd cousin?) to my cousin's daughter. They were absolute besties all trip and we had to FaceTime yesterday to keep them in touch.

We celebrated with a puppy party in the rental house.

My sorority sister cousin did my hair for me before the wedding. 38 years old and I have still never held a curling iron. That is the next expert task I am going to find someone to teach me. Why am I so inept at simple grown-up things? Anyway, I loved the look, especially with the shorter hair and have vowed to recreate it before I'm 39.

The wedding ceremony was held at my grandparents' church, the same one that my parents and both my mom's sisters (including my godmother) were also married in. My grandparents were able to be there and it was so very special. My grandpa did the same reading he did at my Aunty Mary's wedding and it was so meaningful to all of us.

We loved the reception- it has been a lifetime since our last dance party!

James is a great dancer and I just shuffle around like a mess and love every second.

It was interesting to see the big kids be old enough to be self-conscious about the dancing, whereas Cora just let the music fill her soul and move her from head to toe. I think she danced for two hours straight. She ended up in the middle of the bridesmaids' dance circle and later she told me, "that was the best part of my whole birthday."

Landon refused to dance and instead ate every mini chicken and waffle he could get his hands on.

Claire held babies (this is my sister's youngest) and we all just had so much fun together.

We got back home last weekend, I made a case recommendation to the Commission this past week (work has been SO busy), and then we tried to leave today for Belize. Now it will be Tuesday (fingers crossed!) and we're back Sunday and then we launch into the happy holiday season with its cookies and gifts and sparkles everywhere. I can't wait. But first I hope to sleep and then spend some time on the beach.

Right Now

I'm hanging out with our broken-armed child while her siblings are at swim practice.

My parents sent her an Amazon gift card so we're watching all the movies from my childhood, currently Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, which has some terribly misogynistic messaging, but also great dance scenes and Jane Powell. In one of the first scenes when Adam brings Milly to the homestead and tells her to get dinner ready, Cora turned to me absolutely outraged, "he's not going to help?!! Mom!!" Her favorite part so far is when Milly hits all their hands with a spoon. Will be interesting to explain the stealing of the women and the Stockholm syndrome and marriages that result at the end. Ah beloved childhood classics!

Last Saturday, after a week full of missing all the fun things and being incredibly cheerful about it, I took her to get her first pedicure. And let me tell you, she is a FAN.

I've mostly adjusted to my new shorter hair. The first time I washed it was a shock, but it dries so quickly that I've actually dried it (almost) every day! I'm almost like a real grown up!

Landon had his first middle school dance and it was apparently very fun, though he did NOT dance. James, who went to all-boys private schools his whole life was shocked at his failure to capitalize on an opportunity to mingle with girls, but Landon was like eh, I see them everyday.

Claire has her next dance next Friday and cannot WAIT.

The kids continue to have sleepovers every Friday and Saturday night (and this past Thursday and this Sunday night thanks to a short Fall break) and I realized I didn't have a picture of this regular occurence that is just one of my favorite things.

Life continues to be weird and normal. I work from home, Cora visits me every day when she gets home from school and tells me about her day and sings to the cat. And then she goes to eat a snack and play with her horses or draw pictures and I go back to my legal work and this is normal now.

It's October 9th and fall simply refuses to come. Maggie desperately wants to wear her seasonal sweaters, but has to make due with a tutu instead because it's too hot for anything else.

I keep trying to take her on walks because exercise is good for us, but she just wants to sit in the yard and look pretty.

Meanwhile Milo has promoted himself to my supervisor and spent all day Thursday micromanaging my work.

He has very high standards.

And apparently I was not meeting them.

Sorry Milo, I'll try harder next week. Meanwhile we're still earnestly pretending fall is here. We made Trader Joe's haunted cookie houses.

And yesterday we used the kids' school holiday for our favorite fall tradition - the Arboretum Pumpkin Village! With the traditional stop at Tacodeli for 18 tacos (actual count) which were devoured in mere minutes.

We've been going to the pumpkin village since 2013 when I was 8 months pregnant with Cora.

The kids keep getting bigger, but their love of a good pumpkin house remains the same.

As does their penchant for sticking close together in their little trio.

A kidpack if you will.

This year's theme was Bugtopia and they did a great job.

Nothing like sweating through your bra in 96 degrees surrounded by pumpkins. Fall in Texas! So crisp and refreshing.

Cora obviously followed her doctor's directions and walked at a safe and moderate pace.

Absolutely no running through hedges without looking where she's going.

That would be unsafe.

The kids solved the riddle of the children's garden maze, and were JUST as excited about it as they were last year.

Any time we go anywhere I get home and realize I have 67 pictures of the three of them together taken from behind where I'm strolling with James. And I just love them. Because that's generally our view the whole time we're anywhere - the three of them racing ahead to enthusiastically explore all the things, and James and I holding hands and walking like normal people behind them, smiling at their exclamations over everyday things they've probably seen before.

It's the best.

And now, food!

Sat: Chicken Enchilada Chili, toppings.
Sun: Driving to San Antonio and back to visit the grandparents, so probably stopping on the way home.
Mon: Sheet Pan Roasted Veggies and Sausage (I use that recipe as a base with chicken sausage and change up the veggies), Garlic Parmesan Orzo.
Tues: Black Bean Tortilla Pie (family recipe), side salad.
Wed: Fettucini with prosciutto and peas.
Thurs: White Bean Soup, bread.
Fri: Homemade Pizza.
Sat: Lasagna Soup, bread, side salad.
Sun: Out for a fancy family dinner to celebrate James's 40th birthday!!!
Mon: Mississippi Pot Roast, Mashed Potatoes, Roasted Carrots, Rolls (James's chosen birthday meal).
Tues: Chicken Verde Enchiladas, Mexican Rice, Black Beans.
Wed: Cauliflower Soup, bread.
Thurs: Pasta with Vodka Sauce
Fri: Date night!

Maggie hopes you have the very best week ahead.

The Last 8 Days

Hi all and welcome to October! September was busy and then it was bad and now here we are. I want to go back and fill in early September because it was wonderful- we surprised my mom for her 65th birthday and the kids met their newest, tiniest cousins and James and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary and the 20th anniversary of our first date. Claire had her first dance, Landon had a girl ask him out, and Cora played her first outdoor soccer game and scored her first goal! Maggie loved us through all of it.

There is and was so. much. good.

Also in September I applied for a promotion that was very wanted and much anticipated. A few interview rounds later and I found out I was not selected and it was such a devastating blow. I'm not going to get into the work part, but on the personal side, I just want to capture a few of the brutiful snippets of life that followed.

Cora was quietly working on her homework on my bed while I finished out my work day and received the call with the news. She looked up, saw my face fall, and whispered, "you didn't get it?". I shook my head and she quietly and carefully set down her work, got off the bed, and walked over to give me a long, quiet hug while I continued the call and it was such a source of genuine comfort.

Later, when the big kids were dropped off at home, I heard Cora run out the front door and knew she was probably warning them of the news, since they'd burst in the house to ask me for an update each day that week, and she didn't want me to have to answer. Landon walked in and says with an encouraging nod, "I'm sorry mom. Okay, so it's time to talk about our options? Let's talk about it at dinner." Claire immediately cried out, "but I don't want to move!" and Landon interjects with "Claire, can we talk in your room?".

Ten minutes later, Claire walked into my bedroom office with a house she'd found in another city I'd semi-jokingly said we'd move to if I didn't get the new role. "We can move mom, it's fine! I want you to be happy and I might even get my own room!" (Note: I don't actually think we're moving, but man do my children love me.)

James wasn't home yet, so he had no idea, and I just can't tell you how wonderful it is to feel such love and outrage and "we'll figure this out together"-ness from your own only semi-grown children. I cried my eyes out after they left for swimming, but their support and empathy for me was just another side of how much I love this little family of ours.

And then James himself was utterly pitch perfect. I got to feel all my feelings, he was here for ALL of them, we had some really good talks that even got into his as-yet-unshared feelings when he lost his job back in 2012, and eventually I almost got mad that he wasn't giving me anything to get mad at him for and he exclaimed, "Oh! We've moved to anger now! Great! You can yell at me if you want." And so of course I couldn't.

My family sent flowers. My sister dictated the expletive-filled card to a florist who refused to transcribe it. I reached out to mentors, friends sent cookies, and I gave myself space.

James and I went out for a date night on Friday - not the celebratory night I envisioned, but lovely as always to sit and talk with my favorite person.

On Saturday I taught my yoga class (I'm teaching a new 6-week yoga series at Urban Yoga, it's also available on the streaming service for you to take live or at your convenience later on. The studio has a $25 unlimited monthly streaming membership if anyone is interested! You could fit in the remaining 5 classes in one month. I get to wave at one blog reader already - hi Amanda!) and then took Cora to her soccer game.

A soccer game at which she tripped, fell, and broke her arm. Because the Universe was still mad at me and decided to drag her into it.

We went immediately to urgent care where they confirmed the break and set her up in a soft cast until we could get into the orthopedist.

We got into the ortho on Tuesday where she got her giant purple hard cast that has been considerably more comfortable for her than the soft one.

She's doing great, remains cheerful, and is enjoying the attention of everyone helping her at school and wanting to sign her cast.

In the days between the break and the cast, I managed to treat myself to a BBL facial and personal stylist shopping appointment at Nordstrom, both optimistically scheduled prior to knowing The News, but kept anyway because retail therapy is real and I decided I was still worth it.

I love a good laser facial and my skin was glowing the day after this one. This was my first time getting one at a doctor's office instead of a medical spa and they had a new machine that was painless, quick, and very effective. Big fan. I'm not wearing face makeup below and resisted the urge to put a filter on the photo.

The personal shopping appointment was really great. I've gained about 10 lbs in these Covid Times and they don't seem to be disappearing (then again, neither is Covid) and rather than continuing to get depressed and be mean to myself whenever I put on clothes, I decided to bring in a third party with a new eye and fresh perspective on what fits and flatters me.

the outfit I wore to the appointment, which I picked out all by myself

The appointment is free and the stylist reached out to me a few days in advance for sizing, preferences, needs, etc. When I arrived she had already pulled a number of items into a large dressing room and then we worked from there.

I tried on many things and ultimately selected the following items, all of which I really love, and some of which I actually really needed:

(1) Nordstrom Everyday Skinny Fit Stretch Cotton Ankle Pants. Kind of boring, but I didn't actually own black dress/work pants, because I'm terribly about buying staples and these are so flattering and comfortable and I really love them.

(2) Halogen Suplice Blouson Top. This is probably the only top I would have picked out myself without help and while I tried to stay away from things I could have found myself, I loved this one enough to buy it anyway. It's comfortable and flattering and looks great with the new black work pants or the white jeans I wore it with to lunch this week.

(3) KUT from the Kloth Jasmine Top. I would never have selected this top to try on and I just adore it. The colors are so pretty and it's so light and gauzy.

(4) Free People Gather Print Turtle Neck. This was the 2nd biggest surprise find and another I would have NEVER thought to wear. But it is so cute and so light and I just really love it. It looks great casual with jeans or under a blazer.

(5) Halogen Open Front Long Blazer. And speaking of, I didn't have a blazer that fit and now I do and this one is really flattering and light and still gives me a decent shape.

(I also forgot to take a picture in it because I knew I was going to buy it; the rest of these were snapped to send my sister and mom to assist me in my selections, though they mostly just wanted me to buy everything :)

(6) Finally, and I don't have a link for this one because it's not online yet, this dress that I scoffed at when I saw it in the dressing room - no way would I look good in a high neck, high waisted, bottom flounced, animal print dress.

And then, I just completely fell in love. It has a big tie in the back up at the neck and it is so pretty and makes me smile everything I think about it. No idea where I'll wear it yet, but it was my one fully indulgent, "this dress makes me feel amazing and I'll figure the rest out later" purchase and I have no regrets.

My parents stopped by on their drive up to Colorado and then Utah (they're doing much of the same trip we just did!) and I only took one picture- mostly to memorialize the fact that this is how Landon sprawls on the couch every night to chat with James and me. Sometimes he's completely upside down, but he's never fully rightside up and I stopped even noticing it until I saw him "sitting" next to my dad while they were chatting away. 14 remains a complete goddamn delight of an age.

And finally, I capped off Day 8 by chopping off 8" of my hair and I think I love it?

I haven't had hair this short in at least 15 years, so it's a bit of a shock, but it feels lighter and easier and I'm here for both of those things.

So that's where I'm at.

Landon is off to his first middle school dance tonight (he's vaccinated, it's outdoors, he voluntarily changed into a fresh shirt for the occasion), Claire playing with some new friends (she is THRIVING in middle school and loving every minute), and Cora and her broken arm are drawing Halloween scenes to tape onto our windows (it's her left arm and she's right-handed, thankfully). I have chicken noodle soup simmering on the stove, Great British Baking Show on TV (new season!), and two cats and a bulldog within a non-broken arm's reach. James will be home soon and we'll watch the new Ted Lasso episode when the kids are in bed. I'm still sad, but that's okay, because things are also really good and I've learned I can embrace both of those feelings at the same time.