First Days, Hard Days, Better Days

I've delayed writing our first day of school post because I was hoping everything would be smoothed out before I lovingly reflected upon our start of our first school year in Dallas, with three kids in three new schools, but instead, this is an actual shot of me sitting at my desk after sending Landon to school for the fourth day with an entirely wrong schedule (all 8 classes! completely and totally wrong!) and feeling little hope for ever getting it fixed.

via GIPHY

I have emailed and called every person I've been told to since we realized we were moving last Spring. I have sent his 8th grade transcript to everyone. I have followed all the rules and procedures and my latest response from the administration contradicted everything I'd just carefully explained (again). Landon turned in a schedule change form on Monday (per the rules!) but he hasn't heard anything AND his schedule change form wasn't complete, for the millionth time, WE ARE NEW AND DON'T KNOW THE CLASS OPTIONS OR HOW HIS MIDDLE SCHOOL CLASSES TRANSFERRED OMG WILL SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TALK TO ME. We tried to prevent this problem- James and Landon spent over 4 hours waiting in line at the school before classes began and were turned away when they finally made it to the front of the line because the system didn't show him as registered (he was). It is just very frustrating. And so he spends his day going to all the wrong classes, not meeting anyone, and sitting alone at lunch, and I don't feel immense guilt at making him move for high school at all.

(Sorry Landon. Who is also the last kid dropped off but no longer fits in the 3rd row.)

But for posterity, here is the first day of school 2022 (9th grade/HIGH SCHOOL, 7th grade, and 3rd grade) which we all approached with a lot of nerves topped with a thin layer of cautious optimism.

The traditional good luck handshake circle, with extra handshakes for the new schools.

Claire was up every 20 minutes the night before (burning question at 2:45 am: is it possible for me to forget to breathe while I'm sleeping?), but she managed a smile and walked into school with her usual dogged determination to have a good day.

Cora, who is still deeply upset that we do not live in Fort Worth, approached the day with an attitude similar to that which she approached our early family ski vacations:

It took her three years to accept her truth that skiing is fun, so I had some reservations on how long it would take her to accept Dallas into her heart. I did convince her to smile for a picture, but only if I was in it. At least she doesn't seem to be holding Dallas against me.

We were 10 minutes late dropping her off (3 kids in 3 new schools is no joke) but she bravely marched into school carrying her box of supplies all by herself. Her experienced and enthusiastic teacher had called to introduce herself the week before, her Meet the Teacher night went great, and a sweet local mom reached out the weekend before school started so Cora could meet one of the girls in her class, so I was truly hopeful that the joys of elementary school would overwhelm her reluctance to like anything associated with Dallas.

But no. She frowned her way into the car at pickup and immediately told us that she "doesn't like her school and doesn't have any friends and doesn't know why we can't drive her to Fort Worth every day." I gave her hugs and said I know it's hard but I also know she is friendly and bright and wonderful and things will get easier soon, though our conversation Tuesday morning did not give me a lot of hope:

Me, gently, because if anyone can go a whole year hating an otherwise wonderful place, it's Cora:
Okay Cora, tonight at dinner I'd like you to tell me 3 things about your school that you liked today, okay? Or the names of 3 kids you talked to who could be friends. I know it's hard, but it's important to give new things a chance.

Cora, scowling:
I don't like anything and I don't have any friends.

Me, soooo gently:
Do you think that's maybe because you won't talk to anyone?

Cora:
[glare]

Me, with an appropriately encouraging smile:
You know Cora, you didn't know anyone when you started at your old school
and you loved it and made friends there.

Cora, still glaring:
Mom, I was younger then.

I got a text from Claire at lunch telling me she'd gone to the wrong 3rd period class and hadn't realized it until class began. She then stood up to go tell the teacher and her backpack opened up and everything fell out and her metal water bottle banged on the floor and she had to gather it all up while everyone watched and omg y'all, it was literally the stuff of her nightmares the night before. I have never cried dropping a baby or kid off at school or daycare, and I am very much fine with them having them deal with all their normal kid struggles, but it was all I could do not to go pick her up from school and say we'd try again tomorrow. To her credit, she didn't ask anything of the sort, and was all smiles at pickup. We went to get our nails done to celebrate surviving it all.

Truly I am so tremendously proud of them. Landon for uncomplainingly going to school each day, alone, to classes that don't apply to him; Claire for working hard on some really big anxiety issues that overwhelmed her this summer and facing a scary thing with courage and a smile; and even my grumpy little Cora bunny who is slowly admitting she's enjoying her new school and is willingly talking to classmates and quietly opening up to the idea this might be a good place one day. It is really hard to spend a summer in a city where you don't know anyone (and in a rental house without any of your usual stuff), to feel left behind by your previous friends, and to watch kids all around you seem to all know each other while you don't know anyone. James and I are both so proud of our little pack. And of ourselves for not going back to recollect them all on the first day so we could just all stay together for a few more weeks.

Maggie the emotional support bulldog is also very proud of everyone.

And tired. So very tired.

On the feline front, Milo groomed and presented himself at the front door on the first day for his backpack and schedule, but was sadly left behind by the rest of his pack.

Moose stayed as far away from the front door as possible and kept a close eye on his food robot because things were weird and he wanted no part of it.

The one true shining positive, besides our kids, has been the outreach from parents and others in our new neighborhood. Claire met up with a fellow 7th grade girl a few nights before school started and was added to a girls text chain that sent her a dozen "welcome!" and "we're so glad you're here!" texts that warmed her heart right down to her toes. A group of 9th grade boy moms have been such a source of support and ideas for how to get Landon a corrected schedule. Moms of kids in Cora's class have reached out for meet-ups and to check in on how her first days are going. Claire's school counselor emailed me just to let me know what an amazing kid she is and how much the teachers are enjoying having her in their classes. We took Maggie to a new vet who was my high school swim teammate I haven't seen since 1998 and it was a joy. We are very glad to be here. It is going to be great- it already is so great in so many ways, but it's been a long tough somehow also very lonely week, and when one mama friend from Fort Worth reached out to see how I was doing I full on started crying in my office (which my parents visited last weekend, picture below).

In the other million things going on this week, we've had doctor's appointments and check-ups and physicals and athletics registration. Cora starts soccer on Monday, we close on our house next Friday (though don't move in until mid-October which makes me sad but was needed to win the house), and we've met with a designer and a pool builder to start various new house plans. We've figured out three new school dropoff and pickup routines and are bracing ourselves for the start of more activities over the next few weeks. We are planning homemade pizza and a family movie tomorrow night and James and I have a date night set for Sunday and we will have EARNED IT. And the kids will have earned the crappy food they love to eat when we have a date.

Hopefully when I write again Landon will have a schedule with classes he is supposed to be in, and we'll all have a routine that doesn't involve me checking my iPhone note with all three school times written in it a million times a day. It's been quite a past few months, I'd say we're all really looking forward to fall.

(I love that the shark is the only one smiling in this picture James sent me from the day he took the kids to the Dallas Aquarium. It's the little things.)

(UPDATE: The principal called me! With a counselor in the room to update his schedule in real time! Landon has a schedule! HUZZAH!)