Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Sir Winston Churchill II

You guys, I've become a person who is obsessed with her dog.

I go to work and I miss him all day.

I call James to ask how he's doing.

My new phone has 200 pictures of Winston, 15 videos (of Winston), and an old family photo I downloaded to make as my background but then used a Winston picture instead.

I just feel like now that we don't have a baby in the house (sob, though perhaps an ever so slightly less forceful sob now that I have this bulldog baby) I have so much more love and patience and energy to GIVE a dog. I do so little day-to-day hands-on care for the kids- they put away laundry, get dressed, groom, eat, shoe, and generally handle their shit, that brushing a dog doesn't sound like such a burden. Plus, he hangs out with me while I cook when the kids are too busy playing independently and generally taking care of themselves. It's nice to have a buddy.

The kids adore him just as much.

Landon tells me multiple times a day that "Mom, Winston loves me best." Whenever I need Winston to come to me for something, Landon pops up, "don't worry mom, he'll follow me to you."

And it's pretty true.

He seems to love all his humans.

Especially that tiny one. I feel Winston appreciates a good bow game.

And a hug.

He's like a teddy bear cow dog.

One who really liked watching Moana with the kids.

It's bizarre having a dog that is so low energy. Tex was as chill of a lab as I've ever seen, but if you said "walk" or if he heard his leash he could not CONTAIN his joy and excitement. On Monday night I asked Winston if he wanted to go on a walk.

He did not.

Cora comforted him after my unreasonable suggestion.

We carefully monitor his outside time. He's obsessed with his tennis balls and plays soccer with them between his feet. With the summer heat so high between 10 am and 8 pm he can really only do that for about 5 minutes before he needs to take a break inside. He disagrees with this and makes us chase him. Luckily he's not SUPER nimble and you can catch him and try to convince him to walk inside.

He does not acknowledge any English words, commands, or even his own name. He looks at you like, "your mouth appears to be moving... what are these nonsense sounds you're making? OOOH TENNIS BALL!" Moving from room to room, getting up to go for a walk, eating his dinner, doing much of anything- these are things he decides to do, and only occasionally in conjunction with your repeated commands, cajoling, and efforts to mime the action.

I love him so much.

Last night James and I were watching TV and Winston was playing with his tennis ball when it rolled under the TV stand. He ran (waddled?) after it, lay down, and stretched his giant head towards his ball. Five seconds later his breathing changed. Panicked that something was wrong with him, I jumped up and ran over to find my dog FAST ASLEEP- his tongue mere inches from his ball.

About twenty minutes later, he woke up, and appeared delighted to see his ball right in front of him.

Oh Winston.

We're getting into a groove of (very!) short, but regular walks (we've had two accidents in the house, so we're working to remind him that he is potty trained and the outdoors is his toilet), skin fold, ear, and foot cleaning, brushing, regular administrations of benadryl (he is allergic to grass/Texas/summer), and lots of water refills.

I promise to talk about my children and all our lives again soon. In fact, James had to unexpectedly cancel all his lessons yesterday when his pool was closed for maintenance. This sucked for him, but was awesome for us because we got to go out to an exciting and rare mid-week happy hour dinner! The kids all donned their finest accessories and hair dos.

Dinner was great (and the margaritas were better), though Cora did not understand that we ordered the guacamole for the table and took personal offense at anyone who tried to dip a chip into "her" bowl.

But back to Winston.

He FaceTimed with my parents tonight so they could meet him and the conversation completely wore him out.

When we finally got him awake to go potty outside before us going to bed, he sat up with his tongue still stuck in the same position. It took him a few seconds to unstick it.

I have filled carts on no fewer than 4 times since Sunday. Winston now has all the things except a much-needed bow tie and a tuxedo t-shirt. His girth is so magnificent he needs to get fitted for those things in person. I tried to measure his neck last night and the measurement exceeded the 3XL option, so I'm pretty sure I'm doing it wrong. Though he does have a regal neckline.

He's just kind of the star right now. We will return to regular programming, including my crazy work week, Claire's TERRIBLY belated birthday letter, my recent lack of interest in exercise, delicious new recipes, the awesome rashguard set I just got from Cabana Life (use discount code LLSPF for 20% off!), and how happy/sad I am that Orphan Black is back for its final season, shortly. But first, bedtime. Or as Winston seems to think of it, what you should do every hour or so.


  1. He sounds perfect, if you know what I mean! Although I laughed out loud and almost spit out the coffee I'm drinking when I got to your paragraph about "He does not acknowledge any English words..." Our mastiff puppy just turned one, and that paragraph almost could've been written about him, too, although he DOES turn to look at you at least when you say his name. Doesn't mean he'll do what you're asking/telling, but he does look.

    Isn't it like he (Winston) filled a hole you didn't even recognize you had? -- although maybe you did since you've struggled a bit with not having another human baby. So, so happy for you and your family!

  2. And now I want a Winston of my very own... One of my very good friends (who is very much like you and the LL family of energetic doers) had an English bulldog for the exact same reason y'all picked out Winston. They were super active and wanted a dog who would revel in relaxing at home with them. Their dog was named Oprah Sue. Not Oprah, not Sue, but Oprah Sue.

    I sincerely hope that one day many years from now, there is a wedding reception/rehearsal dinner with that picture of Cora and her guacamole and her spouse waxing poetic about knowing it was forever because she shared her guac.

  3. Winston is just the cutest! What a perfect addition to your adorable family.

  4. He's beautiful and I see nothing wrong with your new obsession. :) We have a bulldog named Dorothy.

  5. I wonder if he might be less sleepy when he no longer needs the Benadryl? It certainly does have that side effect in humans...