Hotel Lag Liv

I love entertaining; my favorite thing about our new house is that we can have more people stay over at a time and I can have big dinner parties without making my guests eat on trays. This weekend one of my favorite sets of relatives - an aunt, uncle, and two teenage cousins, flew over from Atlanta to spend two days in "the greatest city in the greatest country in the world" (as JP calls it- often). My uncle is a pilot for a big airline so they can fly free when there are open seats on the plane, and it just so happened that there were a few open seats on an Austin flight late Friday night. The two girls fawned over the Landon, who greatly benefited from the amazing black-market teething gel my aunt brought from behind a pharmacy counter in Georgia. None of the girls had ever been to Austin so we made the most of their 36 hours here- even stopping downtown for a quick walk down 6th street on the way back from the airport Friday. On Saturday I made a big breakfast and then we all put our suits on and headed over to Barton Springs, a wonderful natural swimming pool in Zilker Park.

It is completely filled by a crystal-clear and very chilly natural spring that pumps 27 million gallons of water into the pool a day. Landon was not at all put off by the temperature and immediately tried to stick his face in the cold water. There was lots of splashing and giggles as he crawled around the smooth rocks at the pool's edge, and he was determined to jump off the big, old diving board but his mean mommy kept stopping him before he could impress the ladies with his diving moves.

At one point the five of us were standing around the diving board, debating whether or not we'd actually get in the water (it's seriously cold and this was before noon so it wasn't that hot out yet), when suddenly my aunt grabs my arm and says, "I think that's Matthew McConaughey!" And sure enough, it was! He lives nearby and had apparently gone for a jog and then a dip in the springs. Because I was the only one with a camera I was ordered to take inconspicuous pictures of him and here is one such shot:

My cousins, ages 15 and 17, were thrilled and immediately texted their entire phone book with the news. I was just happy to provide them with such a memorable first morning in Austin. The rest of the day involved some shopping, sight-seeing, and the eating of Tex-Mex for lunch and dinner. I gave my uncle my student spouse ticket so he could go to the U.T. football game and associated tailgates with JP. They stopped at the MBA one first and then moved on to the swimming letterman's party, where my uncle was thrilled to mingle with multiple Olympians recently returned from Beijing. The game was a blowout (52-7) so they left pretty early, stopping only to get more Tex-Mex on the drive home.

This morning we went out for breakfast, did a quick tour of the UT campus, and then dropped them off at the airport. JP went to study and I prepared myself for a day more screaming and crying (Landon doing the former, me the latter), but Landon was actually a fast-moving little bundle of smiles. We crawled all over the house - up and down the stairs - and into every room and closet, and every time I thought about bringing him down to his toys and giving my knees a break, I reminded myself that I was starting work Tuesday and I needed to take advantage of this time with him. So I did and we had a great time.

Tomorrow we're having a few of JP's business school buddies over for some sort of cookout, Tuesday starts the next step of our Fall Phase In, and then I think we're getting more overnight company next weekend. There's always something going on at the Hotel Lag Liv!

Waving the White Flag

Battle lines were drawn today, and it wasn't between JP and I while watching the Democratic National Convention- though last night I did inform him that if he did not STOP TALKING and let me LISTEN TO BIDEN'S SPEECH I was going to leave him, immediately. The snide remarks subsided, I listened in peace, and then we argued about everything he'd been holding inside until he looked like he might burst from the strain of it all. The night ended with lots of cuddling, so that means so far we have yet to let this election affect our marriage, but we do have a few more months to go.

Anyway, battle lines. They have been drawn between me and Landon's molars because I cannot f*cking take it anymore. I don't think I've ever cried out of sheer frustration - exhaustion, fear, sadness, stress- sure, every now and then, but frustration? Not until today. Landon's molars have been giving us hell for a while - night awakenings, short-to-nonexistent naps, low fever, a reappearance of drool (buckets of drool), diarrhea, fussiness to a never before seen degree... and today it was all so much I nearly had a breakdown. We took him to the pediatrician just to make sure it wasn't an ear infection or anything else that could be cured by a prescription or minor surgery, but nope, it's "just teeth". We've tried tylenol, motrin, Hyland's teething tablets, frozen banana, popsicles, vibrating teething rings, and everything else short of illegal substances and nothing seems to make much of a difference. If he's actively engaged in some activity (like being chased around the livingroom, merely playing toys or listening to a book is too passive), then he will be his cute happy smiley self. But the minute the super engaged activity pauses, he's sobbing, fingers in the mouth, lying on the floor. The dogs don't know what to do. Tex is most distressed and paces around the room trying to figure out how he can help. Rosie will lay down next to him and lick his head. They both look at me like why are you not fixing this?! Landon looks at me the same way.

I feel terrible for him that he hurts. I feel even worse for how bad I want to jump out a window and just run far, far away from the screaming. Today I stuck him in the bathtub around noon (after he refused a morning nap by screaming for as long as I could stand letting him do it), dumped every single waterproof toy we own in there, and let him splash for over an hour. He was busy and happy and I got to stare blankly at the wall for a little while. When he decided bath time was over I called JP and ordered him home. I'm sure there are moms out there who can handle this kind of day without back-up but I cannot. We spent the rest of the day trading off 30-minute intervals of playing with and distracting Landon, until JP had to go to a business school meeting at 6.

And that's when it got really bad. We took another bath, but Landon started flipping out only a few minutes into it. We tried to read a book but he was kicking and arching so badly I couldn't hold him and the book at the same time. I tried to sing, I gave up, I put him in bed. Twenty minutes later, he was still screaming, so I trudged back up with little hope of making things much better, but determined to try. I held him as he squirmed and arched and kept singing our songs, and finally after about five minutes (which felt like an eternity, he weighs 25 lbs after all) he quieted, he snuggled into my neck, and I felt him relax. I kept singing, kept swaying, kept holding him in the Exact same position as if the slightest movement would set him off again (not an irrational fear), until my back ached and my arms started to shake. I gently laid him down, rubbed his back, and kept singing - and he started screaming again. I called JP, again, and ordered him home, again, and then put a crying Landon in the stroller and walked around the neighborhood for 45 minutes. It's a safe area so the darkness didn't bother me and the temperature dipped down into the upper 70's so it wasn't too hot. Landon was quiet and so was everything else. We pulled into the driveway at the same time as JP. Landon, now at 2 hours past his bed time, was very sleepy and went right down.

Most of today I've thought about the fact that next week I'll be in an office. A quiet, baby free office. That was the light at the end of this teething tunnel, and while it may be sad or weak or non-motherly, it's true. I know there will be times I am sad that I'm no longer home during the day Monday through Friday, but today would not have been one of them.

First Day of School

Today, after spending what seems like months in orientation, JP started his business school classes. I was a teeny bit sad not to be the one packing up my backpack and heading off to the first day, taking notes in fresh spirals (or word documents), and making soon-to-be broken promises that this would be the semester I would stay on top of my reading. But it was a fleeting feeling. I am really excited about starting work- starting my career. I've been in school for a long time; written hundreds of pages of papers and worn out scores of highlighters, I'm ready to do my writing and highlighting in exchange for money. But that's not to say I don't see myself back in school at some point in my life. Whether it's for an MBA or MD or something I haven't thought of yet, I'd be a bit surprised if there's isn't another "first day of school" in my distant future.

JP gave me the honor of picking out his school supplies: 5 spiral notebooks and a binder. I attended a firm sponsored wine tasting last night (apparently they do this every month and spouses are invited, though last night JP chose to stay home with Landon) and stopped at Wal-Mart on my way home to find him the perfect notebooks. I slowly walked the aisles at 10 PM in my black dress and 4" black satin, ivory ribboned peep-toe heels, thinking back on all my school supply trips growing up- the picking out of the prettiest binders and the coolest new pens (well, the coolest pens in bulk and on sale). Unfortunately Wal-Mart had been decimated by some kind of school shopping tornado so I came home empty handed. But I was not deterred. Landon and I went to Walgreens at 6:45 this morning to present his daddy with a stack of spirals when he woke up. JP wasn't quite as excited as I thought he'd be, and he then gave me something akin to a glare when I asked him what his first day outfit was (my first day of work outfit has already been selected, along with the rest of the first week), but I know he's glad to be back on campus and I'm looking forward to hearing all about his day when he gets home. I'm even making a real dinner with multiple dishes to celebrate the occasion.

So now begins our big Fall Phase In. JP kicks it off with a short 3-day first week back, then I start work next Tuesday for a 4-day first week, and then Landon starts daycare the following Monday for a full week of everyone in their respective places. The daycare wouldn't let him start before the 8th and I needed to start the first day the firm would let me (our bank account is making me hyperventilate), which left us without childcare for the first four days. Luckily the firm has a back-up daycare program. I get 5 days free and 5 with a $50 copay, and you can choose to send your child to a daycare with reserved spots or have a nanny sent to your home. We're going the nanny route. I figure since Landon has been home with us all summer, the first day back in daycare could be a somewhat traumatic and I don't want to do drop-offs in two different places. So instead of all that, a very nice woman (whom I've already spoken with) will be coming to our house from 8-6 to play with Landon, his dogs, and his toys, and then he'll start real daycare after that. I think it will be nice for me to be able to get out the door that first week without also getting everything together for Landon - it'll be something of a trial run. I really like the way things are going to phase in for us. And given the way Landon leaps out of my arms every time he sees babies at all the business school events we've been going to, I'm no longer so sure that the daycare drop-off will involve tears. At least not from him.

Showcase of Home

A long time ago I promised to post pictures of our house. At the time I was in the middle of trying to avoid studying for the Bar Exam by talking a lot about how I needed to go study for the Bar Exam, so as you can see there was really no time to do anything productive like upload pictures. But now that the Bar is (at least temporarily) over, I can give you a glimpse into the Casa Lag Liv.

This was our first weekend at home since the Bar so there's still a few projects on the list (like putting a cat door in one of the upstairs closets for Lilly's food because Landon and the doggies keep eating it), but in general I feel very settled. The best part so far is having so much storage- after coming from a little apartment our closets and cabinets aren't anywhere near full (yet!) so it's easy to straighten up. Clutter is stressful to me, so I like being able to put everything away easily. It still feels big... it feels like home too, but even with two dogs, a cat, and a baby we don't use a lot of the space, and that bothers me. Unlike JP, I loved living in an apartment and enjoyed the coziness and efficiency of it. I'm certainly not complaining about owning a big house, I'm just still getting used to the size and the permanence of it. And I keep reminding myself that hopefully someday those rooms will be filled and we'll never have to move- unless we win the lottery and can buy that mountain property up in Colorado we've always dreamed of.

I spent about a week shopping around Austin before my in-laws came so that the house could be decorated. The archways were tough because I felt like there was so much pressure on what went in there - we certainly didn't own anything worthy of its own spotlight! My goal was to find things I liked but were cheap enough that I wouldn't feel guilty replacing them over the years as we found things we really love. Landon has quite a bargain hunter's eye and I'm very proud of the good buys we found. The picture above the fireplace was $15, the candle sticks were hand me downs from my mom, and the candles were $2 each. The arch in the living room is composed of a picture from Ross that cost $25 (the most expensive thing I purchased, but it reminded me of Chicago and matched my colors perfectly so it will probably stay up for a long time), the glass plate was $7.50 at Hobby Lobby, and the candlestick was another cast off from my mom and happens to match the plate perfectly. The front arch has my favorite wedding picture, our wedding album, and a candle wall thingy that was $10 and looks very pretty lit up.

There's also a good mix of new and old. One guest room is decorated with plaques my grandpa was awarded during his career in the Air Force and the linens are from my brother's freshman year at college. The other guest room has pictures painted by a close family friend that no longer matched the decor in my parents house, and the bedspread is from my old room. Most of the furniture was given to us by family; our only big purchases have been the couch set for the living room and the patio furniture out back. I really love the way everything came together, and almost everything has a story behind it.

The master bedroom and study remain unfinished- there's furniture but little else, and they will likely remain that way for quite a while because paying off loans takes precedence over replacing our serviceable, even if non-matching bedroom set. The dining room is going to remain a play room as long as our kids are young enough that we don't want them playing upstairs on their own. I just went to a teacher's supply store and bought a set of alphabet train posters to make a border around the walls of Landon's room as well as some cute "color and shape" posters, so I think that will add color in a fun, easy, and inexpensive way. And maybe he'll learn something when he's on his next nap strike!

So without further ado, here's a few pics of our home (you can put your cursor over the picture for a little caption and you can increase the speed to get through them faster):

First Free Weekend

This was our first totally free weekend in Austin. No Bar Exam to study for, no boxes to unpack, and no traveling anywhere for weddings or other gatherings - we barely knew what to do with ourselves Saturday morning.

So we drove to New Braunfels. My parents (well, really my mother) decided to adopt another puppy from the same rescue organization where we got our two dogs and they got their first puppy, and they were going to meet the puppy's foster mom in New Braunfels at 11:00. So they drove over from Houston (with Shadow, puppy #1, so he could approve of his new brother) very early in the morning. My sister and brother had already decided to meet them, so they headed over from San Marcos and San Antonio respectively. We were faced with an empty morning (the evening was booked with a dinner out with JP's business school study group) so we piled Landon, Rosie, and Tex into the car to join in the fun.

After witnessing the formal adoption ceremony in the Home Depot parking lot at the intersection of I-35 and Hwy-46, we got sandwiches at Quiznos and ate a picnic lunch in Landa Park. It's a beautiful park with crystal clear creeks, giant hundred year old trees, and lots of room for the dogs to play. We managed to get the whole group together - 7 humans, 4 dogs - for a big family picture and really had a nice time. One big benefit of living in Texas again is impromptu family gatherings like that one. I know if we were still in Chicago my mom would call me on the way home to tell me about the new dog and I'd be thinking I really wished I could have been there. Now my family has four dogs from SNIPSA, and now SNIPSA can go rescue four more wonderful pets that would otherwise be euthanized in San Antonio pounds.

(The motley crew, before we got them all pointing the same way)

Then today, after carefully avoiding Lowe's and Home Depot for over a month, we decided it was necessary to return. Our credit card cried a little on the drive over, but the deck needs to be power washed and stained and our kitchen table needs refinishing (we inherited my parent's old table, which I love, but the top needs some TLC). Two hours and $300 later we have a rented power washer, 10 gallons of "redwood" deck stain, and a pile of supplies for my kitchen table project. JP has been doing the power-washing for about four hours and is only 3/4 done- and that's just the first step. He has Orientation tomorrow morning at 9 AM, so he needs to finish tonight. I'm helping by keeping him full of chicken nuggets and red Powerade. The dogs have been most distressed by all the noise out the back door and I think Tex is about thirty minutes away from attempting to break through the window to save his beloved master from the big scary water machine.

I did finally take some pictures of the house (remember when I promised to share those back in June?) and am working on a post with them - expect it maybe tomorrow, assuming Landon's evil molars cooperate and allow him to take a freaking nap.

And now Landon and I are going to go lend JP some moral support which will consist of lying and telling him he's "almost there" - kind of like what he said to me when I was in labor. It's important to return favors. And I'll have freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in hand, just in case he sees through the "almost there" thing.

Flying Solo

Well, not so much flying solo as sitting solo. I'm on my own tonight, and I can't remember the last time that happened. In Chicago I had a far more active social life than JP. I had so many friends through school and while he was happy to stay home every night (after a long day at work), I was decidedly not. But with Orientation and all his new business school buddies his social calendar is now as full as mine, which is great. Tonight he was even double booked- he's skipping a b-school boat party to play poker with a bunch of neighborhood men. The host is the husband of my firm mentor from last summer, so she and her 19-month-old son came over to play for an hour before the boys' bedtime (highlight of the night: Landon pushing his walker wagon with her little boy riding inside of it, both with big smiles on their faces. Oh the cuteness). After they left, Landon and I went through his bedtime routine and then I headed downstairs for a night of doing exactly whatever I want to do.

And apparently what I want to do is eat a lot of pizza and watch reality TV. I ate half a frozen pizza for lunch and just ate two more pieces cold for dinner. I'm considering the last two, but I just ate a small bag of cookies my attorney friend brought over, so I'm thinking I should just say no to more pizza. I'm starting to feel a little ill. But oh how I do love it cold... whenever we order pizza I try to save a few pieces to eat cold the next day as a special treat. Mmmmmm.

I've got the perfect set up. I'm wearing my flannel pj's, nursing my second glass of wine, sitting cross-legged on the couch with my computer in my lap, and watching all the old Project Runway episodes I've missed this summer (will that Suede guy PLEASE stop talking in the 3rd person- seriously, who does that?!). It's nice. I'm looking forward to JP's return home- especially since he's promised to bring home some of the winnings, but until then it's nice to have some quality time with Bravo and a good Cabernet.

Leaps and Bounds

Dear Landon,

I have no rhyme or reason to the writing of these letters. I suppose we could call this a belated 13-month missive, but really I just wanted to write down all the little adorable things you're doing right now. It'll be good for me to look back on when you're throwing tantrums across the living room in a year or when you break into our liquor cabinet in another fifteen (at least, right?). Because you really are a fast moving little bundle of happiness, and even though I am really looking forward to starting my new job, I love our special time together too.

In the last month you've developed all sorts of new tricks. You started clapping your hands a few days ago and think it's the funniest thing every time your hands make noise. When you wake up in the morning we immediately carry you downstairs for breakfast because you've made it quite clear that any delay in the eating of cheerios is unacceptable. As soon as you get a glimpse of the bag of cereal you get a huge grin on your face and start clapping for their honey nut goodness. While you're distracted with the O's, we make you a cup of milk and get your yogurt ready. Once you're done with breakfast we go feed the doggies their kibbles and you get lots of good morning kisses from them, which you think is very funny. You love your dogs and I'm pretty sure that "dog" is your first real world. You say it more like "don" but it's always the first thing out of your mouth when you see them. You don't have many identifiable words yet - not even mama or daddy, but you jabber on and on to everyone around you so I know you'll figure out a few soon. Lately you've been experimenting with the volume of your voice - you have some very high pitched squeaks you seem to save for Lilly the cat and you've started whispering and when someone whispers back you give them a small smile, like they've just told you a secret.

You still love your walker wagon and you'll push it around the house for as long as someone will keep turning it around for you. I know you could walk on your own if you wanted too, and you even took 4 steps all by yourself the other day, but you still prefer to crawl around at hyper speed. You love your wooden blocks and always have one in each hand as you crawl around the house. I like it because I know exactly where you are in the kitchen, even when I'm far away, because I can hear the clicking sounds of the wood hitting the tile. You even carry your blocks with you into the car seat and the high chair (carefully placing them in the corner while you eat and then picking them back up when you're done), and you'd bring them into the bath tub if I'd let you. You still love bath time and like to make big splashes until your face is all wet - if you get too much water in your eyes you'll just sit there and slowly blink until it's gone, then you splash again!

It's been fun watching you figure things out on your own. Yesterday you crawled into your cozy coupe all by yourself.

And then you figured out your own way to get out of it! It wasn't the one intended by the manufacturer, but it seemed to work for you.

A few days ago I was sitting on the floor of the play room with you and you turned to hide behind the post, then you moved your head out to the side so I could see you, and then you hid again. You were playing peekaboo! Usually I'm always the one ducking behind things, but you figured it out for yourself! It's little leaps like that that simply amaze me - a year ago you were just a cute little lump who slept and ate all day. You've also become a great mimic and love copying our movements - wrinkling our nose, putting our hands up in the air, or making certain noises. There's so many other examples of your mind working, your daddy and I swap stories of you at night and just marvel at all the little things you've figured out for yourself.

You still love crawling up the stairs and now you can do it so fast that if I turn around and realize you're gone, I can usually find you up in your room playing with your wooden train. We're working on teaching you how to scoot back down and you practice on the first few stairs, but for now you'll just sit at the top and wait for me to come carry you back down (so you can immediately crawl back up again). Your dogs usually walk up with you and stand guard until I come up. You love petting them and never pull their tail - we knew you'd be an animal lover.

Like your parents, you love food and will eat just about anything we give you. Your favorites are macaroni & cheese and any other pasta and sauce, ALL fruits (you even fed yourself a banana yesterday and only tried to eat the peel twice!), goldfish, peas, and apparently, Hula Hut tortilla chips:

You are a big flirt and always smile at the ladies we see when we're out and about. It was your flirting that got the customer service rep to give me a full refund without receipt at Wal-Mart yesterday, so thank you for that. I get so many comments from people when we're running errands- you're a very special, smiley guy. My favorite smile is the one you give when you see your daddy or me when we've been separated for a little while - it crinkles your whole face to make your mouth that big and I adore it.

Last night when I was holding you and singing "You Are My Sunshine" before you went to bed, you snuggled your head into my neck, and my voice broke from the tears that suddenly welled up in my eyes. You're the best thing I've ever done and I love you so much. I can't wait to keep watching you smile and laugh and figure out this big world around you.

Love,
mommy

Ice Cream and Having it All

I never eat ice cream at home.  I'll buy some at the store every now and then but always end up throwing it away a few months later when it's covered in ice crystals.  I do love the stuff and frequently buy it when I'm out, enjoying every bite of my overpriced scoop, even as the cheap part of me screams that I could get a whole gallon for what I just payed.  I do the same thing with alcohol.  JP and I still have bottles of liquor he bought when he turned 21 almost 7 years ago- we very rarely drink at home even though we both hate that we spend 10x more at a bar.  Anyway, the point is that neither heartbreak nor stress nor my in-laws has ever sent me to the ice cream hidden deep in my freezer, but two days home with a toddler has been eating out of the container with a spoon at 2:30 in the afternoon.  

Since the Bar I've been asked quite a bit what I think about starting work.  I always respond that I'm excited and looking forward to it, and that's the truth, but it seems superficial.  I've been looking for my deeper, more conflicted feelings, but I haven't found any yet.  I think about the hours, about the loss of control of my schedule, about the time away from Landon, and then I remember that all jobs would involve those things to some extent.  Not working is not an option I entertain, even when I'm lying in bed at night thinking about all kinds of crazy paths my life could take.  It's not even the financial necessity- though with a house, loans, a husband in grad school, a toddler, and two large, hungry dogs, that is certainly there.  It's the fact that I'm fundamentally not meant to stay at home.

I could be good at it, I suppose.  Our house is clean and decorated, I do the laundry, run errands, pay the bills, and even plan to make dinner tonight, but none of that makes me happy or satisfied beyond the fact that it's pleasant to have clean clothes and a meal that isn't cereal.  I do love being with Landon and I'm cherishing our time together, but even while I close my eyes to freeze certain perfect moments in my memory, I know that much of my enjoyment comes from the fact that this will end.  I start work in two weeks.  This is why I chased him around the living room long after my knees were sore and I thought of ten things I should be doing instead.  This is why I held him and read to him and sang songs far in excess of our usual pre-nap routine.  I'm able to cherish it, to love it, because I know we have 13 days left before days like today will be relegated to weekends, holidays, and vacations.  I'm sure that should make me sad, but as I realized while digging into my gallon of vanilla bean ice cream topped with mini chocolate chips, it doesn't, and that's okay.  When I start work he will go to a wonderful daycare.  He will play with other babies in a sun-filled room of windows and toys and experienced teachers.  He will have a happy mother who doesn't look at the clock and count down until nap time, he will have a happy father who is equally involved in his care, and he will grow up watching his parents pursue their dreams, support each other, and love him.  

I frequently hear women say they want to be examples for their daughter, showing her she can successfully pursue both a career and family, but I think it's just as important- possibly more important - to be an example for your son.  As a girl I was constantly told I could do anything- be anything I wanted to be, and I believed it.  But as an adult, as a wife and mother, I know that isn't true unless the person you marry believes it too.  JP and I split everything- nothing, including all things baby (except pregnancy, that was all me), household chores, and cooking, is "my" job.  This, more than any girl power poster or teacher's comment is why I believe I'll be able to have the career I've worked for and the family life I've always wanted.  I hope Landon's wife will have that choice too. 

Of course I do worry about how my career will affect Landon, but I know that I've made each decision along the way with him in mind (long before I was even pregnant) and I will continue to do so.  He won't have the mom I had - at home, ready with an afternoon snack when I walked in the door from school, and that makes me a little sad- I wouldn't change my childhood for anything in the world.  But I am not my mother, a fact that has often been a source of frustration for me, but one that is true.  Sometimes I wish that I wanted to stay home - when Landon snuggles against me before his nap or when we're sitting on the floor of the play room making faces at each other... but I don't.  It's a simple truth but one that makes my decision easy.  Will there be sacrifices along the way, times when I miss something or resent my corporate commitments?  Absolutely.  But I know I'm on the right path, even if it can't be the perfect one, and I expect that will help quite a lot. 

A Dance Down Memory Lane

Last night JP and I drove to Houston to attend a wedding of a friend of mine from high school. I saw several people I hadn't seen since our graduation 7 years ago. Some didn't even recognize me at first - I'm several sizes smaller, much leaner, and my hair is redder, longer, and usually straightened instead of left curly. It was weird to think of how much has changed from May 2001- back then I thought (knew) I'd be a doctor, I'd never leave Texas, I wouldn't get married until I was 30... and even as I made those declarations I knew that I could change them on a whim and still have plenty of time to carry them out. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was still an honest question and one we all asked each other at the time. It's funny to think I didn't even know JP then. This person who holds my whole heart and happiness was just a stranger finishing up his sophomore year at UT.

My high school boyfriend was a groomsman, so last night marked the first time he and JP met each other. T and I were together for 2 years. He was my first date, first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything. We went to Homecoming together, prom together, and talked on the phone every night before we fell asleep. We haven't stayed in touch since we broke up right before college. We took very different paths after high school - T heading off to the Culinary Institute of America in New York and then cheffing around the world; me following the more traditional academic route. I met JP my first weekend in Austin, so I don't think that helped T and my post-break up attempts at friendship. It was strange talking to him and his girlfriend. Not in any emotional or romantic sense - we've both long since moved on, just odd to think that there was a time in our lives that we knew each other better than anyone else did, and now we don't know each other at all. Our lives couldn't be more different. I'm married, mother to a one-year-old, graduate of law school, and very tied down in Austin. He's not married, definitely not a parent, living in Canada, and about to embark on a trip around the world. We're both happy, which is why we always knew we had no future after high school - we're way too different, and it was nice to see that happiness. It felt like a bit of closure.

So Many Things

So much blogging fodder, so very little time with the laptop. Here are some random points, all of which had their own blog posts written out in my head at some point this week:

I've started reading again. I get addicted to books and don't stop reading until I'm done. This obviously interferes with the little sleep Landon allows, so I haven't read a novel since he was born. I've now read four in the last four days, and that combined with the Olympics means I'm exhausted and I can't even blame the little man for it. My downfall was buying the first in the Twilight series in the airport when our plane was delayed Sunday night. I forgot how pleasant (and quick) it is to read something that doesn't make your brain hurt. No trying to discern a judge's holding or reasoning- just skimming the words and getting lost in a story. It's been lovely and now I'm looking for more suggestions.

All three of my in-laws are here. So far no one has cried, so I'd say things are going okay. I could write volumes on this topic, but they don't know the blog exists and my parents do, so that doesn't seem fair. They're going to watch Landon while JP and I drive to Houston for a wedding Saturday night. They leave on Monday.

Landon. There is so much to say about him - he's the very essence of delightful. I smiled so much playing with him Tuesday that my face started to hurt. Monday night my firm mentor from last summer invited us over for dinner. Landon was in heaven with her little boy- I really think he misses daycare and his baby friends. They played with the same toys, chased each other around the house, and shared lots of noises and expressions. It was adorable. On Tuesday night JP and I attended his formal opening banquet for the MBA program. The second year students were providing free babysitting in a nearby room and I was a little nervous about how he'd react when we dropped him off since he hadn't been in a daycare situation in so long. I need not have worried. The minute he saw the other babies, he dove out of my arms, and crawled off at full speed. He didn't look back, and when we came to pick him up way after his bedtime, he was sitting happily in a corner with a very pretty 2nd year business student, scooting a car back and forth and gazing up at her with a big smile. He is such a flirt.

JP's orientation dinner was very nice, I'm so proud of him and glad that he's finally getting excited about his program. It was weird to be the spouse of the grad student rather than the grad student myself. I had a strong urge to tell everyone I'd just graduated law school or I was a lawyer or something to imply I was more than "the spouse". It was a strange impulse and luckily, one I was able to resist. I don't want to be the person who needs to announce her degree at the start of a conversation.

We've eaten out every day this week - my old clothes may fit before I start work after all. Wednesday was a carnivorous feast at Fogo de Chao with the young corporate attorneys- it was a "Congrats on Surviving (and Hopefully Passing) the Bar" dinner. Last night we all went to our favorite fancy Austin restaurant. I am very opposed to bringing babies to nice restaurants so a good friend of mine and her husband babysat. She's due with their first child in January so I was a little hesitant to call them- I mean why scare someone when there's no way out, but Landon was perfect, just like he's been all week.

Today involved a trip to the UT bookstore where I spent too much money on an adorable burnt orange dress to wear to the football games. We have season tickets in the MBA group and I think it's important that I look like a cute, supportive UT spouse- precisely $59.95 worth of important. We had dinner at Hula Hut and are now camped in front of the TV watching the Olympics (thank God for DVR or JP would have lost his mind this week with all these nighttime events). All three of my in-laws are asleep on the couch and I'm finally getting some quality laptop time.

Things are going well. I'm enjoying my time with Landon, enjoying my time with the house (which is now fully decorated and properly organized), and enjoying working through my to-do lists. I'm still looking forward to starting work in a few weeks, but this in-between time is nice too. Nice and crazy, just like we like it.