Roots and Wings

Hiiiiii. Our family Life360 tells me that James is at the pool teaching a technique clinic, Claire is babysitting a few streets away, Cora is here in the house though I have not seen her yet (#tweenager), and Landon is in Bloomington, Indiana. I just got back from my workout and while I have some work to do (always!), it's not so much that I can't take a little time to check in.

And take us back to two weeks ago when we were having our last dinner as a family of five in Dallas. That already feels so much longer ago than 14 days. Landon picked the restaurant and we were all kind of in denial. Or at least the four of us remaining behind.

And bright and early Monday morning we took our final "first day of school" picture with our trio and off we went - the girls to school and Landon, James, and me to the airport.

We'd finished his packing the day before, and while it still felt weird to bring so little, I did talk him in to letting us order his bedding and towels ahead of time in case Bloomington was sold out of Twin XL upon our arrival.

We arrived in Indianapolis mid-morning, got our rental car, drove to Bloomington, and checked into our hotel. We immediately went shopping- HomeGoods and Walmart, where I had to convince Landon of every single thing I thought we needed to buy.

Mom, I have never used Kleenix IN MY LIFE. What am I going to do with TWO boxes??"

"What would I do with paper towels?"

"If I need a bandaid I'll go to the trainer [1 mile across campus] and get one."

"What would I do with hooks?"

"Mom, why would I need a tiny rug by my sink? That's insane."
"Landon, you have one at home in front of your sink."
"Oh yeah. It's nice on my toes. Let me test it." [removes shoe]
(yes we purchased the one his toes touched)

A fishing pole was possibly the only item on his list and he spent longer in that aisle than the rest of the store combined.

Once our car was full with all we could think of before actually seeing his room, we headed to campus. My first look! It's beautiful and the weather was perfect- a big improvement from moving into UT in Austin in August back in 2001.

We went to the outdoor practice pool where we ran into one of Landon's future coaches. He decided he needed a practice, so James and I gave ourselves a walking tour of the rest of campus.

Sometimes it's so crazy to believe that he and I met my first week freshman year of college and that was twenty-five years ago. It seems like so much less and so much more all at once. James decided he also neded to swim, so I took a work call from the car and then we got dinner at a local pizza spot and pretty much just went to bed.

Morning broke early. Landon's check-in time for his dorm was 9 am and by the time we got to the student hall to get his check-in credentials a line over an hour long had formed. Again, the weather was so lovely it was hard to mind. Landon stood in line, I worked in the car, eventually he got his tag and off we went to finally see his dorm!

He never saw the dorms on his recruiting trip because he stayed with an upperclassman who lives off campus and unlike Claire and me, he doesn't need to know every detail of a potential future living space months ahead of time. And it's very nice! He has his own room and shares a bathroom with his suitmate, a diver (last year's national champion, to be precise). We unpacked in approximately 15 minutes and then headed to the store to get a few addiitonal items. And snacks. So many snacks. (And the tiny rug!)

We got lunch and then settled him back in his room. And we were done. Our flight left later that afternoon and there wasn't anything left for us to do. Landon had plans to meet up with a few other freshman guys on the team to go swim at the pool (official practice started on Monday the next week) and then go to a cookout. He would be fishing on Wednesday. All the swimmers got together and rented pontoon boats for Friday. He was good.

James hugged him goodbye and got tear drops on Landon's shirt.

I hugged him and felt... nothing? Pride, sadness, excitement underneath, but like it was a regular Tuesday afternoon on the surface? I think I've been in mourning all year, this just felt like the right final step of it. He was settled, he has his work cut out for him on the swimming side, and he has the ability to do it. He's solid, smart, funny, confident, and about as practical as a 19-year-old boy can be. It just felt right.

(Facebook memories being a jerk and letting me know that this picture was from exactly 19 years ago that day)

We drove back to Indianapolis to board the plane home as a party of 2 rather than 3. Landon sent me text updates on all the food he was getting to eat. We caught up with the girls. Our house is adjusting to a very different energy profile... two teenager girls and no placid older brother. Somehow in the hour we were home before dinner we managed to upset both teens and both of them were very loudly silent during dinner. Landon's seat, the one who would be talking to everyone and making the girls laugh, was empty. We're all adjusting. The hardest part for me is not having him pop up behind me in my office when I work at night.

But then it was Wednesday morning and I had work and the girls had school and James had a bunch of work too (he's making custom swim paddles now, in addition to everything else he sells, and we now have six 3-D printers upstairs and he has a new order for 280 of them) and life just picked right back up.

I miss him, but I also love his texts and he called me on Friday because he thought I might be missing his voice (I was). Classes started, training began, he's busy and tired and missing his girlfriend a lot more than he's missing us I'm sure. We already have tickets to go visit him with the girls to watch the UT/Northwestern/IU swim meet in mid-October. It's the school both his parents swam at v. the hospital where he was born v. his current school. It's also the girls' fall break for school. We can't wait.

On the home front, I threw a pool party for a bunch of my favorite women on Saturday. I've learned that we all need no kids/no boys pool parties so we actually swim and splash and have fun. It was great and I now want to do it every weekend.

I flew to DC verrrrry early Monday morning. I had SEC testimony with clients all day Tuesday and Wednesday but my former summer associate mentee (and close friend of my current associate) is a Supreme Court clerk and she arranged for a tour of the supreme court building for us! It was AMAZING.

I had never been in the building. We got to see the court even though it's closed right now, the meeting rooms (basically spectcular mini ballrooms), and even the basketball court and gym that's above the courtroom where RBG worked out! It was really, really cool. And after that I spent two very long days in a windowless conference room. But I liked my outfits! Traveling light means we reuse blazers and shoes.

I got back late Wednesday, worked a ton on Thursday, left work a little early on Friday to run some errands, mostly returns, and accidentally saw this little number in the new L'AGENCE store at Northpark mall. Also a silk slip dress that is the most beautiful thing I've ever tried on. And I couldn't even return the jeans in store because I ordered them online. Oops! Even the girl math didn't math on that one...

I immediately texted friends who assured me I did need the bustier top and I wore it out on a date night with James last night.

I do freaking love it. I feel so bold! Like I'm thirty forty, flirty, and thriving. (Worn with a blazer because we're still a lawyer and also 43.)

Also I really committed to workout classes again in June, particularly focusing on strength/weights classes, and as usual I'm deeply annoyed at how great they feel and how good I feel when I do them. I've been going to my new studio at least five days a week and I miss it when I'm traveling. Step class on Saturday mornings and Wednesday evening is my cardio and then I do strength classes every other day after work. Ugh. I love it. I can see my arm and leg muscles defined again for the first time since I stopped teaching barre and it makes me feel powerful. How dare exercise be so emotionally and physically beneficial.

Anyway, we celebrated the twenty-fifth anniversary of our first date!!

Crazy! It was such a great meal and then we came home and watched Spiderman with Cora because Claire was out at a friend's house debating her curfew with me by text message. Feels exactly right for 25 years in.

Speaking of, a dear childhood friend posted this a couple years ago and seriously how ridiculous was I?

I mean, I was right, and our 21st wedding anniversary is later this week, and I still like him more than any other human on the planet, but how utterly ridiculous for 18-year-old Rebecca to be making such claims one week into her new college relationship.