This week has been 100 days long, but also feels like a pretty standard example of a week in the life. It's Sunday morning at 7:30, everyone in my house is asleep, and I have an hour before a HIIT workout class a friend signed me up for that will probably kill me because I haven't worked out much this week because, well, you'll see. Let's go through it.
Sunday
I decided to decorate our house for Christmas ridiculously early because we're going to Colorado for Thanksgiving and then we only have two weekends in December at home. I adore our Christmas house, but I equally hate making it happen, so I just dove in. Around 1 pm I realized we had to leave for Cora's party in 90 minutes and I had not yet made her cake, so I started that. James and Landon were at the pool and got home in time to take the birthday girl and her friends who I told could be dropped off at our house for a ride off to the trampoline park, while I stayed behind because I had just made the most delicious chocolate frosting but the cake (actually a half brownie + half cookie = Brookie cake) was still piping hot.
I joined them at the party 45 minutes later, the girls bounced around like crazy people, and everyone loved the Brookie. Our theme was "purple" and involved a sparkly tablecloth from Amazon and plates and napkins from the dollar store. This is your third kid turning 11. And honestly, it was pretty great.
We got home at 5:30, got Claire from her babysitting job, made dinner, and then afterward I caught up on the work I should have done earlier in the day instead of decorating for Christmas.
Monday
Everyone has school and we get up about 6:40 (well Landon had 6 a.m. swim practice, so he leaves at 5:35). I'm drinking tea, doing Cora's hair, giving Maggie her pain medicine (she had her mastectomy the Friday before), and helping keep the trains on time while James makes the girls breakfast and packs their lunches. I leave at 7:40 am to drop Cora off on my way to work. James can take her, but if the stars align and we're ready at the same time, the morning is easier if I do it so he can drive the opposite direction for Claire. Landon swings back by the house between practice and school starting, so sometimes I see him before I head out, but not when I take Cora.
At work I have a video call with the SEC on a matter, followed by a bunch of other calls, both internal and external. I was supposed to do a HIIT class at the gym in the building at lunch, but for the first time in 6 weeks I just... don't want to. So I don't. I work some more, eat my protein bar + yogurt + apple at my desk (I call this my partner power lunch), and get ready to leave early.
Botox appointment at 4 pm. Lauren is made of magic and I'm in and out and home by 4:45.
I check in with the girls. Claire did great on her Biology quiz and Cora is excited about the Scholastic Book fair the next day. James takes Claire to math tuturing at 5:30 while I help Cora pick out a dress from her closet to wear to Cotillion later that night. I log back in and work until dinner. James gets Claire from math while dropping Cora off at Cotillion. We eat (he made veggie stir fry with noodles), I go back to my office, and Landon wanders in the door from his second practice of the day at 7:45 pm while James is picking Cora back up. I go sit with Landon while he eats, Cora joins us and I hear about her night ("it was okay. We learned how to introduce ourselves and dance the cha cha"), and Claire is doing the dishes.
I go back to work. As has become his tradition, Landon pops into the room at some point, usually with a cat, to hang out while I work.
Sometimes he's just quiet, sometimes he's just sharing observations about the world that don't require a response, and sometimes he's talking to me. I love it more than almost any other part of my day.
All the kids, pets, and my James circle through my office at some point in the evening. I go upstairs to take my bath, put on pj's, kiss everyone good night (including James), and come back down for a few more hours. Milo keeps me company and I log off about 1 a.m.
Tuesday
Everyone has school, so the morning is mostly the same as above, except this time I'm going straight to my personal training session when I arrive at work, so I don't have to do much to get myself ready beyond packing so I can get ready at the gym.
My personal training session is so great. If I could afford it I'd do one every day. The trainer who works in the building is so good. He always has my workout ready and he has me to crazy things with increasingly heavy weights and I feel so strong and capable at the end of each one. Going once a week has really been great and I hope to continue that. (Also, my executive physical revealed that my bone density is borderline low. My mom has osteoperosis, so that wasn't shocking, and he highly recommended more weight bearing exercise to hold off any additional weakening.)
I get ready in the locker room, listening to my morning news podcasts and remembering when I had morning practice every day in high school and always got ready in locker rooms. I'm at my desk by 9:30 with the first two of probably ten cups of tea and have video and regular conference calls from 10:30-4:30 straight. At least one of those is a training call at noon that involves lunch if you want to run up to the 39th floor to grab it, which I do, because man, today is not the day for my sad partner power lunch.
I leave about 5:30, hoping to have time for a walk, but forgetting how early it gets dark. That's just as well because I have plenty more to do. Claire has been sick off and on so James took her to urgent care (again) and this time they decided her sinus infection had indeed become bacterial so now she has antibiotics. She's skipping swim practice but James takes Cora has been sick but is finally better. Landon is already at his practice. I pack for my trip to Houston in the morning, chat with Claire, eat dinner with the fam, and go back to work until 1 again.
With a visit from Landon of course.
Wednesday
I planned to wake up early for a walk before the morning kicks off, but I do not. Oops. I help with the morning scramble, finish my packing, drop Cora at school, come back home and finish getting ready. I have back-to-back video calls until I need to leave for the airport.
I fly to Houston, go straight to our office, and meet up with the team I'll be presenting a CLE with in the morning. I grab a visitor's office and get some work done (I've gotten so used to my giant double screens I am basically crippled when facing my tiny laptop screen), chat with some of my partners on the same floor, and then head to the hotel across the street to change into jeans for dinner.
Our speaker dinner is fabulous - at a great restaurant that had just been awarded a Michelin star the week before. I enjoy my partners very much, the food is amazing, and the meal is 3 hours long. Not exactly what I was planning for the evening, but it's fine. I get back to my room and go to bed immediately. I missed the calls from the kids, which sucks, but Claire sends enough texts to make up for it.
Thursday
I planned to wake up in time to hit the hotel gym, but as is my theme this week, that does not happen. Instead I woke up to James calling me so the girls can say good morning and I realize I was supposed to already be dressed by now. I rush around doing that while chatting with him and listening to the girls bicker about Cora getting ready faster so Clarie can get to school in time for breakfast. I give them a cheerful farewell and leave James to handle that bit of chaos. I get ready myself- the nice thing about traveling is I don't have to think about my outfit. On panels we were pink!
Our event runs from 8:30-12:00. I speak for an hour somewhere in the middle. I'm the ethics credit of the CLE, so obviously I'm everyone's favorite. Plus who doesn't love "what not to do" SEC stories?
I sneak out around 11 to join the partner meeting to welcome our newly voted in attorneys to the partnership! If I couldn't be in Dallas, it was nice to still be in one of our offices to join the official certification of the vote and toast our new members. Somewhere in the middle James texts that his car was making a bad noise so he's at the shop. We're supposed to drive to Colorado in his car next week, so fingers crossed it's nothing big.
I re-join our presentation, eat lunch and talk to attendees, and then change into my jeans to head to the airport and fly home.
I land to a text message from James saying his car needs two things replaced. They can do one tomorrow for $1800 and another on Monday for another $1200. Awesome. Upside: I can pick him up from the car place on my way home from the airport, so I do that. "Hi honey, I've missed you." We catch on the status of our children on the drive home.
I have a client event at 6 pm, so I'm unpacking, checking in with the kids and pets, responding to the emails I got while on the plane, and picking out something appropriate for the "Mariah Carey Holiday Spectacular" that I'm about to attend. As luck would have it, I have multiple options available.
I settle on the Santa dress I bought at Marshall's for a party I hosted 6 years ago. I have a little bin in my closet labeled "holiday outfits" and it brings me great joy to get it out and re-wear something awesome. I almost went with a faux leather black skirt and red silk top, but I texted my client a picture of the Santa dress and she said "WEAR IT" and the client is always right. About fashion anyway.
She lives near me, so we met at my house, enjoyed a toast of champagne, and then called up an Uber to head to the American Airlines Center.
I quickly realize I am not at ALL out of place in my Santa dress. The suite is awesome and full of food and more champagne. We have 8 women partners and 16 clients in attendance and it was SUCH a fabulous event.
Mariah is a well preserved 55 who knows what her people want. She stands, she sings, her hair and face do not move, and she disappears every 3 songs or so for a little rest and an outfit change. It was glorious. And ended, of course, with "All I Want for Christmas Is You" at 10:15 pm.
Being 10:15 pm after a hell of a week, I assumed we were going home. But no, my client is much cooler than I am and next thing I know we're at a hidden dive bar in my own neighborhood that I've never heard of. They have a secret Vietnamese food menu after 11 pm that the owner's mother cooks herself in the tiny kitchen. It's nearly 11 pm and packed. Who are all these adult people just OUT on a random Thursday? There are so many single people in my neighborhood too! Again, no idea. I think one flirts with me? I'm also pretty sure I said something like "I'm married and my husband is hot as fuck, sorry." So, I'm a party.
Several egg rolls, a pork taco, and a Cosmo later and I am calling it. I make an executive decision that it's time for both of us to go home and tuck us into an Uber. I get home at 12:30, accidentally on purpose wake up my hot as fuck husband to have my way with him and then fall fast asleep. I think I consumed 1.5 bottles of champagne over 8 hours. What even is this life I don't live?
Friday
I am so tired. I am too old for this. No hangover, probably thanks to the tacos and egg rolls and five cups of water I downed at the bar, but woke up to a missed call from Landon. His car died on a busy street on the way back from practice. Because he is the calmest of humans, he apparently turned on his hazards, waited a minute, tried again to turn it on, got the car around the corner onto a residential street, and waited for us to call him back. One call, no voicemail, no texts. I cannot tell you how much I would have been blowing up the phone of anyone I knew if this happened to me.
James's car is still at the shop, so he takes my car to get Claire and Cora to school, and then rescues Landon and checks on the car. It's definitely dead.
They both come back home, where I am working and already on my 4th cup of very black tea. Landon gets a ride to school from a friend and James calls a tow truck to get Landon's car to the same shop where James car is still a guest. Sadly, there is no multiple car discount.
James does his James things with my car, Landon gets a ride home from school, I walk to pick up Cora, and Claire goes home with a friend to go to the mall. We learn Landon's car needs its transmission rebuilt which is a million dollars and will take two weeks. James's car will be ready by 6 pm. Yay?
I am still working. Milo is helping.
We go get James's car when it's ready, picking up pizza on the way home because what is $50 of pizza in light of the day's automative events. We eat, watch a Christmas movie, and everyone is tired.
Claire goes to dinner with her friend and her mom invites me to join. "I'm already in pj's without a bra," I respond to a fellow fulltime attorney who I barely know but also know will understand. "Sounds amazing," she responds.
A friend texts to see if I want to join her for a chill hour at a local wine bar. You guys, I have waited all 2.5 years of our time in Dallas for this - for friends, for people who want to do things with me, for reach outs I don't have to work for, and I have to turn two down in one night.
"I'm going to bed at 9:15," I respond. "Walk in the morning?" she writes back. "Perfect."
I am in bed by 9:20 and fell asleep so fast James told me the light was still on.
Saturday
I sleep for 9.5 hours. I feel like a new person. My friend meets at the house with her dogs at 8 a.m. and we go walk the lake. It is beautiful.
I get home in time to kiss Claire goodbye for her swim practice (James is driving her, then going to his own practice, then picking her up) and get Cora ready for her soccer game. The game is great - they made it to the big season-end tournament in December!
Cora asks for donuts on the way home and I say sure, we get to the donut place and I can't find my wallet. Maybe I left it at home?
Chase Fraud Alert is calling me: "Did I just attempt a $1,412.67 purchase at Target?"
"No."
Fuck.
My wallet was stolen during the soccer game. I think maybe it was on my lap when I got out of the car and dropped on the ground? It had my driver's license, two credit cards, my corporate card, a debit cards some cash (thankfully I never have much), and insurance card. Fraudulent purchases were made on every card in there. I spent a while on the phone and computer canceling things and reporting fraudulent charges. This sucks.
I go out to the patio to work in the beautiful weather with some printed documents I need to read. I get a few pages in and next thing I know 3 hours have gone by and it's dark outside. Involuntary nap attack. Not surprising, but also not at all what I needed to be doing.
I get the status of the house: Claire is at a friend's, Cora is going to a friend's, Landon is having a friend over. I work a bit for real this time while James grills some dinner. We eat, Claire and her friend come over and the kids decide to go in the hottub. I decide to finish The Diplomat Season 2 with James instead of working and it's so good. We get a call that Cora bonked her head at the friend's house and also there is some drama among the girl group so James goes to rescue her while I decide it's long past time for pj's.
I snuggle a teary Cora on the couch for a bit when she gets home and then I realize it's 10:15 and time for bed. The teen friends are still over, I tell Landon they have to go by 11 and go to bed. I have no idea what time everyone left.
Sunday
I wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed. I get my tea, realize that nearly all of our doors were unlocked all night, and feed the pets.
A friend is taking me to a crazy HIIT workout class she loves and I'm realizing that I may finally be well-rested but my physical conditioning could not be worse. Oy.
The girls have a time trial and Landon has practice. I teach him how to turn on my beautiful new car so he can get to the pool because his car will be gone until early December. He thinks my car is awesome and I say I know, don't hurt it. I start this blog post and realize I'm not going to finish.
The exercise class is INSANE. It's an hour, there are like 40 people, crazy loud music, and heavy weights. It makes me realize how much I'm NOT doing when I work out on my own at home. I get a headache, feel like I'm going to pass out, and also like I've never been more alive.
I go home to find the front door unlocked (this is a theme when my otherwise very smart oldest child is involved), make some eggs and a yogurt parfait. I settle in to work a bit, except I actually just write this blog post, and then James and the girls get home. We're going to watch a Christmas movie later and I have a dinner out.
So, that's the week? The kids are out of school and we leave for Colorado on Wednesday. We get back Sunday night and then I'm in DC for most of the next week and part of the one after that. We're hosting Claire's school swim team party on the 15th and we go to Egypt for 12 days on the 21st. That seems impossible and I'm living life one day at a time.
I just saw that Moana 2 is out on Tuesday, so obviously we will be seeing that, along with Wicked at some point. I'm so glad holiday movie premieres are a thing again. Also, doesn't Maggie look like Pua?
Happy almost Thanksgiving everyone!
Honey Garlic Chicken
1 hour ago
Long time follower….since the very beginning when you just had to deal with the Landon chaos and stress. (I was in law school at the time and am now 15 years out) Are you finding your new normal to be too busy? Or is everything going so well that the chaos is ok and manageable. Curious to know, on an honest level, if you have work life balance. Just reading you post makes me tired and I left partnership for in house and only have one child.
ReplyDeleteWow! I love hearing you've been here that long <3. The Landon chaos seems very very far away.
DeleteIt's a good question. I actually don't find it to be too busy. A lot of the night work last week was because I had stuff going on during the day that meant I wasn't working much at all (on client work anyway). I would say I actually pretty rarely work on the weekends- I'd rather give up a night or two and then just completely enjoy the weekends with the kids and James (and the couch). After nearly 3 years on "tour," I am finding I have less energy for ALL the business development/public speaking that I do. But my own work has gotten steadier so the Rebecca Roadshow can slow down a bit. The actual work though- I love that.
Reading about all of the after hours (just kidding-in private practice there are no after hours) work just made me supremely grateful to be almost fully retired from the practice of law. Be kind to yourself-I remember the frenetic pace of work, kids, marriage and trying to squeeze in friend time all too well. One of my partners (also a Mom) used to look forward to room service when she traveled for work-she would shut down her laptop and savor the quiet.
ReplyDeleteSo true. When I go on trips that are 2 nights long I always have one that is fitting in all the social/networking things and one that is me, Netflix, and room service :).
DeleteSo far I think the balance has been good for me. The hardest part is how much business development type work I need to do as a new partner (especially coming out of government) because it's not billable and the results are not immediate. Having James home makes all the difference because he can pick up slack anywhere I don't have to be and I can just work, walk, and be with him and the kids. But I do look forward to a day when my relationships are more established and I can "just" work.
I used to have this kind of pace, but I just kind of broke. I need so much more down time and empty space in my calendar now. I'm impressed you still have the stamina and energy!
ReplyDeleteWell I'm not quite 3 years in so we'll see- I def have less energy for the extra work stuff. I think what saves me is that usually my weekends are very very low key. The move meant my social calendar went way down, big kids mean they do a lot of stuff on their own, and my occasional late nights are a worthwhile trade off (for me) to have whole weekend days where I don't do anything at all. I do need WAY more sleep than I used to, and this week notwithstanding, I almost always get 8 hours a night which has been pretty life changing.
DeleteReading this blog.. shows me why we just can't reduce the greenhouse emissions and we can't stop the climate crisis. The life that an affluent American lives consumes *so much* - all the cars, all the clothes, travel, decorations, all the life pleasures that depend on endless consumption. And that's what the rest of the world is aspiring to.
ReplyDeleteI'm an ecologist and I care so much about the environment & am too aware of how we're failing. But individual shaming isn't the way to go. Do you know oil companies created the idea of the 'carbon footprint' to offload responsibility onto consumers? Even if every person in the US stopped flying, it would have very little effect on global warming. We need larger scale political solutions
Deletehttps://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/23/big-oil-coined-carbon-footprints-to-blame-us-for-their-greed-keep-them-on-the-hook
DeleteThank you for the link!
DeleteSo strange to come into someone's digital living room to criticize them.
DeleteWhat size screens do you have? I have one 34" ultra wide but am considering getting 2 monitors instead....
ReplyDeleteI love this post. Your blog is partly the reason I decided not to have kids in law school (I just know my husband and I don't have the energy, willpower, and incredible positivity of you and your husband to build a family and our careers at the same time) but I have to admit I'm envious that you can enjoy your older kids while still being relatively young.
ReplyDeleteIt's also fascinating to read about the early years of being a partner in biglaw. I only just started at my firm as a first year so it's not yet relevant to me, but we never hear much about what business development really entails!
Another reader since Landon was tiny here, and it's a joy to have seen the kids grow up and your own journet through adversity and opportunities and challenges and the imperfect balance that happens over time.
ReplyDeleteOn a practical note, I wonder if it might work for you to have a keyless entry door or two (fingerprint or code) so it can always be locked but always openable?
Thank you for sharing your life with us readers. Your time management skills and joie de vivre as a mama, wife, lawyer and athlete are a constant inspiration! I had my husband read this entry and we empathized with being grateful for those tiny but sparkling moments of joy as a family. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI don't know that I would disclose that your readily-identifible house is routinely left unlocked ...
ReplyDeleteReally cute outfits! Have to be honest, your week sounds exhausting, but I am glad you find satisfaction from all of that hard work!
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ReplyDeleteGreat post. Thanks for sharing all this. I'm also a full time attorney mom. Give James my appreciation for making your life possible. Not to take credit away for everything you do, but I know that's a big piece of it. Good for both of you making it all work!!
ReplyDeleteHighly recommend this second monitor for travel
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