Highs and Lows and Summer Plans

So, only 4 posts in April. That seems right- I somehow spent most of it feeling like I was drowning while nothing around me was moving at all. Work got really busy, our isolated days felt busy, every night I felt exhausted and could only curl up on the couch under a fuzzy blanket and read Throne of Glass until I finished the series and had to re-read every book by Ilona Andrews for comfort instead. It's all just kind of a blur. Not a bad one- we spent every evening playing frisbee in the yard after dinner, I worked a lot, the kids did school, Maggie napped, it all worked... it just went more quickly and ran us down a bit more than our shelter-in-place weeks up to now.

My takeout sangria swirl frozen margarita was this week's real hero

I remember almost nothing about last weekend. I assume it was nice. I know that even though we don't go anywhere or see anyone and have no plans at all, the weekends still feel separate and precious and rejuvenating. Let's do highlights and lowlights from the last 10 days, I think I can manage bullet points!

Highlights!

Teaching: I continue LOVE teaching my yoga class on Saturday mornings and barre on Sunday afternoon. Chatting with friends from far away- a blog reader, law school classmate, and law firm colleague- before and after class was such a joy. Thank you to everyone who has joined me and supported my sweet studio. And thanks to the kids who silently entertain themselves in the TV room while I teach.

The Scooter Gang: You guys, they only travel by scooter and the way they all crouch down to fly down the hills brings me a burst of pure joy every single time. I cannot get enough. They crack me up and make me smile. I am so thankful we have these three.

Maggie: My tireless co-worker, officemate, and wannabe member of the scooter gang.

This portrait of Maggie: My sweet sweet fire and sun-seeking goddess. I looked up from my bedroom office folding table and saw this scene and just had to snap a picture. I think it's maybe the greatest picture I've ever taken and it's of my dog. In my bathroom.

Her back rolls are particularly glorious in the light. She sat like this forever but eventually her neck got tired and she had to rest her giant head on the wall. I love this creature more than I can say.

Cora's Video Conference Style: Cora has one class video conference a week and she LOVES THEM. She requires her hair to be done moments before they start and she sits tall and thrilled throughout the chaos, writing notes on her whiteboard to show her teacher. It is the very cutest.

She misses Kindergarten so much. Here is a sample of her work. She always adds extra flourishes. This was supposed to be a "How To" writing on any topic. She chose How To have a bulldog. Other than skipping the vet visits and allergy meds (and sun bathing), I'd say she nailed it.

Top Chef Fridays with Landon: Every Friday night after the girls are in bed, Landon and I watch the week's new Top Chef episode. Top Chef used to be my personal guilty pleasure, but it's now a beloved mother-tween bonding event. We feel all the feelings, discuss each chef’s culinary choices, loudly cheer the successes, and (possibly even more loudly) mourn any failures (“Mom, I can’t watch!). There is stress, we ride multiple emotional roller coasters and engage in NEAR CONSTANT discussion of ingredients and techniques and cuisines. We rewind a lot. It takes 90 minutes to watch a 50 minute show and I love every second.

As I've written so many times, our kids are very much a pack and it’s rare we spend time alone with any one of them. And truly, that’s their preference. But this new Friday night tradition, while the girls sleep and James watches something with more guns than dialogue, it’s become a highlight of the week for both of us.

The Memes: They are so on point.

Lowlights:

Surprise Google Results: So James's best friend/swim teammate from college and the best man in our wedding worked in finance in Houston (they were roomates when James worked in Houston before we got married and moved to Chicago) and then moved overseas. We've slowly lost touch over the years and James randomly googled him last Friday to see where he was up to. Turns out, he may have been doing a lot of insider trading and the SEC sued him! I doubt this will be in the alumni newsletter.

My one-day employer will one day sue the man hugging me on my right

Painting: It continues. It looks amazing. It is not the littlest bit fun.

Reopenings: My state is reopening. I understand why some people want to, I understand why some people need to, but the cases in our county are still trending sharply up. We have not peaked and so many people are congregating, so many stores arne't enforcing any social distancing, hardly anyone is in a mask... it just makes me very nervous. There is nothing about the last 8 weeks that makes us any stronger or safer in the face of this virus- we kept the hospitals from being overrun which was vitally important, but it didn't go away because we waited a while to leave our houses. We still don't have near enough tests, so I don't know how they can track and trace anything and Texas had its highest death toll the day before the reopening began. It doesn't inspire confidence and we aren't changing anything about our SIP lifestyle for this month.

Unemployment: James's business is closed. He obviously desperately wants to reopen, but how can you possibly safely teach learn-to-swim lessons that require touch and face-to-face instruction? Kids spit in his mouth pretty much constantly. His pool is still closed, so it may not be a decision he gets to make, but we keep talking through the decision-tree for when it does and just get stuck on the fact that nothing has changed on the safety front with this virus. Waiting another month won't change that either. Or another one after that. So do you not reopen until there's a vaccine and herd immunity? Financially, that would be beyond devastating and he's worked for 7 years to build a strong brand and client base. Do you only teach kids who already know how to swim and give instruction in private lessons from the deck? That might be enough to limp along. I don't know. He could teach private lessons in our pool even if his pool isn't open, but the same decision-tree applies. But if we can possibly hold on without his income, it seems we should rather than have him in the pool with kids whose families may or may not have been socially distancing and then bringing that contact into our home, particularly since any income under that scenario would be small. But of course it's not just the money, it's his business and livelihood and so we aimlessly discuss with no answers while knowing there aren't any decisions to make right now anyway.

COVID in the Family: My sister tested positive for COVID on Friday. She's okay- so far her symptoms are fairly mild, though the classic "no sense of smell or taste" is in full force, along with some respiratory symptoms and tightness in her chest. She's been required to go into her office and several people are sick, which is scary and reinforces everything about my fears on reopening. Keep her, her husband and her "you can't isolate yourself from a baby and toddler" kiddos, and my worried parents in your thoughts.

pic from my visit last March

Schrodinger's Travel Plans: I know this is true for absolutely everyone, but the uncertainty and inability to plan ANYTHING is so tough. With James's business, with our summer, with travel that was already planned. I think I mentioned this before, but our 15th anniversary is at the end of this summer and three years ago we decided we were going to take a big trip with just the two of us to celebrate. We've never done that before, but my parents would be retired by then (now) and they agreed to watch the kids and we were so excited. I started a monthly transfer to a new online savings account in 2017 and the planning began.

Our calendars currently say we'll be flying to Tahiti to stay in overwater bungalows in Moorea and then Bora Bora from August 20-28th this year. I've had a countdown on my phone that started at 900-something days. Now it says 108, but I can't imagine we'll be able to go. The island is currently shut down- they don't have the medical facilities to properly care for anyone who contracts COVID and need to keep their people safe. Even if they reopen, it's hard to see us getting on two planes for 12 hours, being in the LAX airport, going through customs, etc., though at least our actual destination is quite isolated. I suppose it's possible travel will open up some this summer, and maybe there will be protocols in place that make it a reasonable decision before everything shuts down again if cases jump in the fall. Late August could be that window. But, I doubt it. And part of what's SO hard is that we can't just reschedule- as of now, our flights are still on the schedule, and we can't change them without penalty unless the airline makes the decision first. At this point I'd rather say, we're not going this year, let's try August 2021, but the flights were over $3,000 (months and months of auto-transfers!) and I don't want to lose them completely if I don't have to. So I wait. Telling myself we won't go, but unable to simply take action to make it so. And, because of that, also unable to plan something in temporary place of the big trip- like a socially distant road trip/hiking trip or visit to my parents' Colorado house becuase I don't know if I'll need the vacation days in August.

I know SO MANY people have had to cancel huge trips and events, and I'm one of many, but while we aren't planning anything new, it's so hard to have the lingering calendar entries of trips planned before we ever imagined COVID-19.

(The kids played "airplane" yesterday. It's a private jet, I was told, and in-flight entertainment was a must. They made tickets, went through security, and flew 3.5 hours to California. It was all very realistic and likely they only travel they'll get for a long while.)

Back to the present.

So how are you guys doing? What are you thinking for summer? Anyone thinking your travel plans will stick? Our big family trip was supposed to be Swimming Olympic Trials in June, but that's rescheduled for 2021. All the kids summer camps are canceled except one for Cora which is still making its decision. Even if they stay open, I don't know that she'll attend. I'm hoping to keep working from home for a while longer. We're thinking of visiting my social distancing parents this month to expand our circle ever so slightly. I will keep obsessively checking the Air Tahiti flight updates, sadly hoping our flights are just canceled so our decisions are made and we can reschedule for the future.

I remain thankful for my job, for James, for the kids who continue to make this as easy as possible, and for our weekly takeout. And that deep dish Chicago style pizza recipe- and the fact that so many of you tried it and told me about it. Things are good- strange and often sad and a little scary, but also brightly joyful in big and small ways throughout the day.

(Meals and workouts coming in the next post because this is already too long! Happy Sunday to you all,)