Back to AUS

I caught a late plane late last night to make it back home at 1:30 a.m. I don't sleep well in hotels (well, that's not true, I don't sleep well in hotels when I'm all by myself in a weirdly large bed without JP's large, lumbering, snoring, forced cuddling presence) and my dinner consisted of a glass of wine on the plane, so I was exhausted when I walked in the door. I dropped my suitcase on the floor in the bedroom, stripped off my clothes, and fell in to bed with JP. A JP who, despite scooting over and giving me big cuddles and hugs at 2 a.m., woke up at 6 a.m. looking absolutely shocked to find me in bed with him. Like really shocked. It would have been pretty funny if I weren't so tired.

I was thrilled to wake up with him, thrilled to see the kids when they came in our room, but decidedly NOT thrilled to be back in this nonsense:

 

108? Really?!

While in Palo Alto and its FABULOUS 65-degree weather (I actually found it reassuring that cities exist in the US where you can sit outside for lunch in August; spend too much time in Texas and you start thinking the whole US is scorched earth), I had dinner with a longtime reader. She's been reading my blog since 2007 and somewhere along the way we became facebook friends and now we're both BigLaw lawyers who can recognize each other on the street! I love that! One second after our hello hug (she held out her hand, but though I decry much of my Texas heritage, I'm a hugger), she cried out, "you have a Texas accent! I never pictured you with an accent!". Two seconds after that we took turns talking (well, we tried, there was a lot of talking at the same time too) non-stop for the next 90 minutes over a delicious dinner at Evvia. CZ, it was so great to meet you and the next time I have a "what the hell am I doing and why am I doing it" moment I hope I have someone as simultaneously sympathetic and "eh, it's all going to be fine" to talk it out with. Preferably while eating ridiculously good Greek food on a pretty street in a small downtown on a cool August evening.

I really need to go to bed, so here's bullets of other highlights and tidbits from the last 3 days:

- Highlight: drinking a half bottle of red wine on my Palo Alto hotel terrace on Monday early evening. I don't really like business travel, I'd rather be with my family in my crazy calm house, but that 60 minutes with my laptop, work, wine, and a cool breeze was lovely.

- Highlight: meeting with a law school friend on my way to the airport on Tuesday. She transferred after 1L year, so it had been forever and it was so great to see her! As it turns out, I know a lot of people in Silicon Valley. If I could take my house with me, I'd move there in a heartbeat.

- Lowlight: staring down the rabbit hole. Lately I've been tired enough (and JP has been working enough, and liking working enough) to contemplate what it might be like to not work this much. For the first time it occurred to me that we might not always NEED me in this job. I wouldn't have to be married to my blackberry, I wouldn't have to lose sleep over emails, I could spend more time with the kids, I could find hobbies! It's dangerous. It's not helping. I'll try to write about it soon.

- Tidbit: I read a blog post of a high school friend who just had twin baby boys. The pictures of the newborns all swaddled, the parents meeting them, the big sister touching their tiny feet-- I cried. Like a lot. And then I texted JP to tell him we were having another baby immediately. He lol'd back and I've since returned to reason, but man, just when I think I've made a decision on that front I change my mind again.

- Tidbit: today I responded to emails from opposing counsel and our damages expert while laying on a table getting a brazilian bikini wax. I kind of want to include that story in my year-end self evaluation- shows my dedication right? Or the first step in a complete breakdown of work-life boundaries. Either way, it's good for the firm!