Monday, May 9, 2011

The Wringer

I spent my morning with my office door closed, near tears, and alternating between hoping for and dreading JP's return of all my calls. He found out on Friday that he didn't get a particular job he'd been really excited about and had made it to the fourth and final round of interviews for. That was a blow. But there were still two openings in a different division of the same company and he'd had a great final interviews for those last Thursday, so we still had hope. In fact, just this morning as we were getting dressed he commented on how optimistic he was about those interviews and how depressed he was going to be if nothing worked out. Because after this, he's pretty much exhausted the Austin MBA market and it would be time to look elsewhere. And while looking elsewhere makes a whole lot of sense for both of us, I'm not ready to leave and neither is he. As I kissed him goodbye this morning I desperately hoped he was going to get good news this week. And only in small part because of the fear of moving. Mostly I just worried for him and wondered how I could be enough support for him if he got another no.



And then at 9:30 a.m. he got the call saying the jobs weren't going to work out. Oh, they liked him. In fact, the Director insisted he was their #1 outside candidate, they've just been "encouraged" to use internal transfers over new hires and there were two current employees who had applied for the position.



My heart just broke for him. I said the things I've been saying- that he's great, that he'll find something, that it's their loss, and I meant every single one, but I don't think he believes me anymore. He believes that I believe it, and that's something, but it's not enough, and I don't know what else to say to make it better. I don't want to take anything away from how hard all of this is on him, but I will say that watching the person you love go through the demoralizing rigors of a job search is its own kind of hellish.



I want to call up the people he's interviewing with and yell at them for not immediately grasping how awesome he is. Can't you tell how smart he is? What a hard worker he is? How driven he is? HIRE HIM. Except don't, because I've now decided you don't deserve him.

And so I spent the morning with my door closed, going through periods of fierce productivity and then pausing to stare at my computer monitor feeling like I was going to cry. I just felt so terribly for him and I couldn't do anything with those feelings.



But then, he got another email at 3 p.m. from the Director informing him that one of the internal candidates was switching to a different division, so now he made it! Except then he got another email at 3:30 saying, wait, that's not final, it has to be approved by Talent Management. So now I have no idea what's going on, except that it's not a no, there's hope, we might get to stay at Austin, and I'm mad at this company for making me emotionally exhausted without giving me a conclusion by the end of the day. But JP is smiling while playing his guitar on the other couch, so I guess that's something.

17 comments:

  1. oh my goodness, wringer for SURE. I hope that they have come to their senses and realized how great it would be to have him at their company! Happy thoughts from the Golden State! :)

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  2. So frustrating!! I hope you hear great news tomorrow!

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  3. I don't think there are many things in life as frustrating and demoralizing as a job search. all the best to JP - I hope he gets this one!!!

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  4. Will be thinking about you guys and crossing fingers for good news ASAP!

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  5. Ugh, how exhausting and frustrating!! Hoping for good news for you both.

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  6. I can't believe the crazy rollercoaster that potential employer has put you two through! I hope it all works out and I know somehow that it will in the end, no matter how it ends up. Best of luck to JP!

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  7. I wish him (and you of course!) the things you want. Part of me asks, "How far will he be from this idiot? (in order to avoid future craziness) while part of me commiserates and seconds your thoughts about how demoralizing this job market is. My dh is all out of "Oh poor baby" helpful comments. Pray tell: how do I convince our two they need to work hard in school when Attorney Mom(me) has been out of work for most of the past 3 years and unpaid for work for..four? This is NOT why I went to law school.. my tastes are way too grand for fishing quarters out of the couch and deferring student loan payments. [Sorry-- this is your place to complain; not mine to play "can you top this!"]

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  8. thinking good thoughts for JP

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  9. Thinking good thoughts for JP, also, and sending evil, stabby thoughts to his former business partner for screwing y'all out of what SHOULD have been the perfect job for JP: swimming and owning a business.

    But mostly good thoughts! Fingers crossed!

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  10. I know how much this sucks - it was my life for about 6 months last year. I wish there was a trick to it, but it's just a matter of getting through it. :(

    Thinking good thoughts for you and JP, and also with Lisa in thinking very bad thoughts at the former partner. Jerk.

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  11. Lisa and EH, I'm right there with you...

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  12. I am so glad you wrote about this. My husband is currently working a shitacular job that requires him to be out of the state 4 months a year, and for 3 months while he's home, he works 14 hour days, 6 days a week. We can't have kids while he has this job!! He's been applying for new positions within the company and at new places for over a year now. He was finally offered a position, turned in his 2 weeks notice, and the DAY before his 2 weeks were up, the new company retracted their offer. We're lucky that his company was happy to keep him, but he still hates his job, hates the hours, etc.

    Anyway, all of that was to say that I completely understand watching the man you love try so hard to get a job and have little success. Thank you for writing about this because it reminds me that it's okay for me to be upset too. It's hard to be a full-time cheerleader when there's not a lot to cheer about.

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  13. WOW. This post had me going from "oh no!" to "woah, didn't see that coming!" PLEASE keep us updated!! Let's hope that this is ALL good news and that they say YES to hiring him!

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  14. Yeesh! They definitely should have made up their minds BEFORE calling him back. I'm going through a similar situation with my hubby's job. He is luck to have a job but he used the words, "soul-sucking" to describe it. He's scoured the area for jobs in his field but it is getting to the point where we may also have to look elsewhere.

    His company recently received Big Military Contract, and anyone working had to be born in the U.S., thus eliminating 80% of my hubby's competition. Even though my husband was the most qualified for the job they gave the lead position to another employee whose track record is total crap but is a good ass kisser. When he told me I was PISSED, more pissed than he was. I am hoping so much for him to find a job that is more fulfilling. I really hope this works out for you guys!!

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  15. Hi Lag Liv-
    My first time commenting- I love your blog & hope you don't mind me reading when we've never met.

    Wanted to say that you & JP both have my sympathy- this job market sucks! Both my husband & I have been through this in the last 2 years. Husband is a head hunter so you can imagine how that is going in this economy (it's not). He is highly underemployed...Melissa above thank you so much for the term shitacular...cannot wait to start using it.

    Anyway- fingers crossed he gets it, new boss is not a nightmare, you get to stay in Austin, etc., etc.

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  16. Fingers crossed LL. I can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster for you and JP.

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  17. Fingers still crossed here!

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