Monday, May 5, 2008

SNAFU

This weekend was one big mess. Saturday was one of the worst days I've had in parenting (and I've had a few). Landon cried 95% of the time he was awake and only slept for one hour all day. After exhausting all his toys, I took a picture to see if the flash would distract him and make the tears stop for 5 seconds. It didn't work:



I cuddled and sang and read books and made barking/quacking noises and rocked and reminded myself many, many times that he was a full little person, just like me, and something was bothering him and he couldn't tell me what it was, and making him feel better, not making the noise stop, was my goal. The latter could have been accomplished by putting him in his crib, closing the door, and taking a 3-hour shower, the former could not. I call this "reframing the problem" and I "reframed" about every 15 minutes. It was a hard day.

Fortunately he slept well that night; unfortunately, I didn't. It took me nearly two hours to fall asleep (stress from school is really starting to affect me) and then spent the hours of 3-4 AM listening to a very loud fight outside our building, which made me feel very safe, lying all alone in my bedroom with a door leading directly outside to the alley where this was taking place. I woke up exhausted and comforted myself with the fact that JP would be arriving at 8:30, but of course that didn't happen as planned either. After going straight from the 6th street clubs to the airport, he found out his 6:00 AM direct flight was delayed, then delayed more, then boarded, then canceled, then he was put on a flight to Dallas, which was delayed, then he finally got to Dallas, then to Chicago, and then sat on the runway for 30 minutes, and then finally - 7 hours after he was supposed to, he arrived home. (The same thing happened on his way out, except throw in an additional delay in the layover they added to his itinerary and some lost luggage which they forced him to check because the plane was full... I hate air travel.)

Landon was delighted to have his daddy back and was so good that JP wondered if I had been exaggerating the previous day's events. We had a date night planned to use up a gift card I've had since Landon was born. I think we would have rather gone to bed, but friends had offered to watch Landon and this was the last possible day for us to use the gift card before we move. So we went to the beautiful restaurant, ordered the cheapest things on the menu to keep the bill at or around the $75 balance, and ate the biggest and best piece of chocolate cake I have ever had (and I've had lots!). I got to hear all about JP's trip, which was wonderful- he got to see about 20 old teammates who are now scattered all over the place, and we relaxed and flirted and forgot we were the proud parents of a possessed 10 month old. When the bill came ($88, so only $13 for us!) we handed over our gift card and the waiter said: "we don't accept those." WHAT?! On the back of the card it says go to www.website.com, and I did, and this restaurant was listed. He said "we haven't been associated with them for two years and have repeatedly requested to be pulled off the site." I was not. happy. We sighed, paid the bill we would never have gone to the place to get, and went home. I called the restaurant's parent company this morning and complained to three different people until I was told to send in the card with a letter and they will consider refunding me the card amount.

This morning I spent about 3 hours on the phone trying to get various administrative things done for the move, graduation, Landon, etc. I then actually starting crying talking to a friend about how much school work I have to do. Despite the occasionally dramatic way I talk about school in the blog, this is the first time it has brought me to tears. I usually deal with stress well, but my papers are due in two weeks, I'm exhausted, and I'm a good month behind in all three of my classes. I know that grades don't matter and I really don't care about them, but even getting a paper to the point of existence takes more effort than I feel I can give. I'm more overwhelmed than I've felt in a very long time, maybe ever, and it sucks to spend my last few weeks in Chicago like this.

But because it also sucks to end on a note this whiny and depressing, here is a super cute picture of the transformed, post-daddy's return home, picture of the little diaper model:



As I say anywhere from 5 - 1,000 times a day: "It's a good thing he's cute!"

17 comments:

  1. He is very cute! I think cute is definitely a survival tactic for babies. They sure are trouble!

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  2. It is a good thing they are cute. Why do they act up when daddy is out of town and then perk right up when they come back? Happens to us too.

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  3. "reframing" -- you are a saint.

    (Although, when the three hours is up and they're still screaming, don't you wish you had taken that long shower instead?)

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  4. I am long term "lurker" (that sounds creepy but I promise you I'm not) and fellow new mom/law student. I wanted to de-lurk to tell you that I am sending good thoughts your way. I know you can do it. In fact, you aren't just going to make it, you are going to excel. I'm sure of this because I have seen you survive obstacle upon obstacle since the first time I read your blog. You have exhibited a strength that most of us can only hope to have. It has carried you this far so you have to just trust that it will continue to carry you. For what it is worth, I believe in you!

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  5. Forget snafus and reframing. That weekend was totally f^*'d up! (((HUGS))) Hope the stress gets dialed down a notch really soon. If you can't take it a day at a time, maybe just an hour at a time?

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  6. How odd! I don't understand why he cries like that still . . . poor baby . . . something must be hurting him or something.

    What a bunch of a-holes at that restaurant! I would have gone postal paying $88 for a dinner.

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  7. The cuteness is how they sucker you in. Parenting is hard. Especially single parenting. You are so close to being done and soon you guys will have an amazing summer together in Austin. Just hang onto that thought.

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  8. Dang, he is soooo cute. I can't wait to give him hugs, and I am sending lots of big hugs your way to help you get through these last few weeks. As scary as it is to think of all you have to do, the good thing is it will all be over soon and you'll be here and yes, I know you have to study for the bar, but JP will be with Landon and you'll be in a big beautiful house!!!! With a gorgeous lawn (haha, I hope!) More rain today - I hate rain, but at least it means the lawn is doing well ;-)

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  9. Poor mama! That is one rough weekend...I think mine was easier than yours! When Cooper had colic, those 2-3 hour scream-fests each night were just about enough...but all day? Jeez...I wonder if it's teeth? Or?? Uh...I'm out of ideas. Although I know when Gavin would have a rough day and I was by myself with him, I'd just take him out in the stroller. The fresh air always seems to shock the screaming out of him. I even took him out in the rain because I was do desparate and tired and seemed like "a walk in the rain" was nicer than "putting him in a cold shower" (hey, both cold water, right?). The added bonus was that by doing my brisk I'm-so-irritated-I-could-scream walk, I got some good exercise in and I actually felt a bit better, too. I'm really hoping Landon doesn't test your patience and ears like that again, but if he does, it might be worthwhile to try.

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  10. Do you think he was missing JP? Maybe he was feeling your stress, but GAH what a terrible day you had!

    Also ... the restaurant thing would TOTALLY piss me off. GRR! Tell me at least the food was good, right? RIGHT?

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  11. what a gross day. even after a year, i become really upset after the baby has been crying for more than an hour and a half- I usually have to put him down in his crib and just go collect myself for a fe minutes. I'm sorry it was so hard.
    It is amazing how much you can get done in the last two weeks of school- you will get it all done! You are almost there.

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  12. He's such a doll - cute is SO helpful. I'm glad JP's return (delayed though it was) helped, but I hope you'll get a chance to catch up on sleep soon. I remember being in tears about school (for me, it was usually in organic chemistry) and you are SO CLOSE! You'll be there before you know it.

    Good for you for standing up to the company about using the card - how crappy is that?

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  13. Hang in there. You ARE going to make it through the next two weeks. It WILL work out. Landon isn't possessed. I HATE those days when the baby just seems sad all day. I'm always sure that if I were a better parent, my baby would be happier. And that feeling is reinforced when your baby gets happier when someone else comes in the room. You're a great mamma.

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  14. Hi, de-lurking just to ask: what if you put him in his crib, put some soothing music on, and took a 15 minute shower? Maybe he needs to learn to self-soothe, if you can't find anything physically wrong with him. Is he too young for that?

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  15. Hi Anon, he's not too young for that and he's generally pretty good at self-soothing - this was just a uniquely crappy day so I figured we wouldn't gain anything from crying it out.

    And moo- the food was mediocre. I think had we ordered what we were supposed to order (like the $50 steaks) it would have been fantastic, but we were ordering the cheap chicken dish to stay under budget. The cake was the only really noteworthy thing we ate, and it was amazing just not worth $88!!

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  16. It's probably really good for you to force yourselves to go out for date night. That's great that you did it!

    School has been keeping me awake too- I had a final today but I couldn't sleep all night- probably got four hours of sleep. this is practice for when the baby comes I guess :)

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  17. ooh...I have another idea that might help with Landon sleeping...in case you haven't already tried it:
    what about letting him sleep with a t-shirt that you or JP wore all day? Or have you guys sleep with a blanket of his a couple nights and then let him sleep with it? Maybe if he smells you guys he'll feel less lonely and feel more comforted to go back to sleep without waking the house?
    Every night when I give Cooper his bedtime bottle, we also snuggle with one particular blanket...I do it so that it picks up a little of my smell and he associates it with comfort (since he gets rocked and snuggled and fed while holding it). Just an idea...I feel bad that he gets up so much and that you guys can't get any sleep. :(

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