Not long after publishing my last post I dragged myself to Urgent Care for a nearly immediate diagnosis of Covid. So, that explains why I felt like a congested piece of warmed up garbage. The only other time I've had Covid was also in late July, but 2022 instead of 2024, so I don't know what to make of that. The urgent care doctor told me that nearly every person she had seen that day tested positive for Covid so it's clearly running around.
I am living in my isolation chamber (my room) with only my nurse for comfort (Milo) while James runs the rest of the house and children. Everyone who is not me feels good and aren't sharing any of my symptoms: congestion, sinus pressure, cough, headache, exhaustion, etc.
I don't feel like I can bill for my time when my head feels fuzzy and full of rocks (fuzzy rocks?), so I pulled up a draft post I wrote in May and decided to finish it. It's always such a bummer that when you're home, too sick to work, you're generally too sick to do anything else too. Like start the next round of photo books, research our next vacation, or learn how to use the new digital camera I bought two years ago and have never used.
But maybe I can manage this?
This draft picks up in what seems to be mid-May? I was writing while on a bus from Dallas to Houston to moderate an SEC CLE panel (and was then about to jump on another bus to Austin immediately after to represent a client in an SEC interview), so back in time we go:
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Since my hysterectomy surgery in mid-April, I spent two weeks at home recovering, the next week taking a bus to Houston to conduct some witness interviews when I wasn't clear to fly yet, the next week flying to South Carolina with James for our partner retreat, and the week after that in DC and NY for a string of work events and meetings. That got us to mid-May when end-of-school stuff kicked high gear and work got really busy. My recovery is not something I've even thought about in the last few weeks, school is now out, the weather is rainy and hot and awful, but life is pretty good.
We're going to fly through a few updates.
So, surgery was pretty great. It was a long time coming, anesthesia is my favorite and it was fun being home for a little bit there. I slept through the first week, but felt good enough to drive my family crazy with redecorating and organizing during week 2.
On one weekend we reorganized all the closets in the house. Not so much cleaning out, as we do that along the way, but more of a consolidating and resetting the locations of various items after living in the house now for 18 months. It felt SO GOOD and my first thought on Monday morning was, "I'm so excited about our closets." My family did not share this excitement and was not at all sad when I announced I'd be taking a bus to Houston later that week.
But my label maker and I were very happy together.
I also ordered a few new picture frames, a piece of art for the downstairs full bath, and one or two other things. Sort of the jewelry on top of the outfits we bought for the house last year. It's so nice to add one small thing instead of looking at an entirely empty room and trying to make decisions on all the big things.
James and I had a lovely time in South Carolina for my partner retreat. Every other year spouses and partners are invited as well and it was great. We had a full lap pool directly in front of our room, so James was very happy, and we both enjoyed the resort, the food, the weather, and my partners. It was a nice soft launch back into work life. Also, I finally got to wear the type of "resort professional" shorts + blazer ensemble that Express always seemed sure professional women must don regularly:
On the kid-front, I now have a Junior in high school, a Freshman in high school, and a 5th grader who is allowing us to hold on to elementary school with all of our hands.
Landon, who will somehow be 17 this summer, ended his sophomore year with 5 AP tests: Chem II, English III, US History, Seminar, and Pre-Cal. As usual, we had no idea what was coming up, he just let us know each morning what test he was taking. When I got back from DC late Tuesday night I saw his bedroom light on at midnight and there he was, studying for his 5th and final test.
I told him he could pick anywhere to eat dinner that night to celebrate being done and he picked our favorite local Mexican place because it has a chicken chimichanga he loves. We met him there from swim practice (we eat at 8 pm every night, but it's worth it to be together) and partway through dinner, he paused and said, "I have an announcement."
He then let us know he'd been talking to a girl in his AP class and now that their test was over he'd asked her out a date and they're going mini golfing that weekend.
He is just such a great kid. He entirely runs his own life, meal preps all his breakfasts and lunches, sends me links to clothes when he's outgrown something, and is both incredibly smart and breathtakingly absent minded all at the same time. He is SO funny, so quietly confident, so absolutely himself. He refers to his classmates as colleagues, has informed me multiple times he's "all full" with his two buddies he made last year, calls our house his "recharging station" whenever I try to get him to leave it for anything other than swimming or school.
James and I were on the couch watching a show when he got back from his date Saturday night and he plopped down and chatted with us for a good 30 minutes with our show paused and having big kids is just so fun you guys.
Claire, who will be 14 in a week, graduated from 8th grade and will be in high school this fall. A different high school than her brother, foiling my one chance at having two kids in the same school ever again, but it's the right choice.
It's been a really tough year for her, but I'm so proud of the work she's done, how far we've come, and how excited she is about the path ahead.
We still do homemade cards and the card she made me for Mother's Day was perfect.
We do the Wordle everyday (and Connections and the Mini Crossword) and send each other our stats when we're done.
When my sister got married I gave a speech at her wedding in which I said something like, "you'd think as an older sister who has been married nearly 10 years, I would have a lot of advice to give. But while marrying James is the best thing I ever did, each marriage is as unique as the people who make it up. So I have plenty of advice about being married to James, but I don't have any for being married to Billy." I still gave a few pointers anyway, but 17 years into parenting I'm realizing this is just as true in that realm. Which is a long way to lead up to the fact that I have learned a lot about being a parent to a 13/14-year-old Claire this year. I don't know that any of it would be useful to anyone else, or even myself, but I hope I can take at least a little of it with me. Mostly it's talking, being curious, laughing when you can, taking Prozac, and understanding that hard things are supposed to be hard and it is *not* your job to make them easy. It is your job to provide a safe, warm, welcoming place to be home. It is the hardest work I've ever done. I high-fived Claire on the last day of school. We fucking made it.
Cora had a great 4th grade year. Despite her claims that she still wants to move back to Fort Worth and buy our old house when she grows up (it's for sale again!), she has settled well into Dallas and made a lot of friends.
She is such a bright and diligent student. She is a perfectionist with a plan, but also kind of a mess and loves to sleep in late like a cat in a sunbeam. She had a GT project at the end of the year to create an energy-efficient home and she worked SO hard, entirely on her own, to build this masterpiece, and then very proudly presented it at the GT parent open house. It was adorable- she went to visit each of her friends' house projects and they all pumped each other up over how great they did. I love elementary school.
Cora is very athletic, a VERY fast runner, and a great swimmer! In the hushed and reverant words of James as we watched her last meet, "she's a perfect specimen." She was part of the White Rock Games in the spring and her team won nearly everything and she placed 2nd overall for the 4th grade girls in the 50-yard-dash. She looks forward to a rematch next year.
I was going to write that I can't believe she's about to start her last year of elementary school, but actually I absolutely can. Sometimes I think she could start high school tomorrow and be fine. She is a joy and a force and she loves with her whole body. Her favorite color is still purple, she will not touch jewelry or makeup, she loves her friends and family fiercely, she is brave by day and working on being brave at night, and she is both extremely picky about her clothes while absolutely *hating* shopping and anything like it. She is, as all of our children are, entirely and perfectly herself and we're loving each year we get to know her better.
James and I are about to hit our 19th wedding anniversary(!!) and we're good. Really good, actually. Plenty of things are hard, but coming home to him is easy. Thank goodness, because something should be.
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And we're back to the now, where I have Covid and my whole bed to myself because James is bunking with Cora since she has a trundle bed in her room (I assume she is the one on the trundle, but who knows). I'm feeling marginally better than I did yesterday, so that's nice- hopefully I'm on an upward trajectory. There is a LOT I have to do this week and today I got exactly none of it done. Here's to a good night's sleep and a less phlegmy, more productive day tomorrow!
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Go Claire, y’all made it! Gorgeous smile 💗
ReplyDelete[high five]
DeleteAw I love what you wrote about all your kids, but especially the part about Claire, so much. My oldest daughter is 9 and from what I've read, pretty similar to Claire. I anticipate a LOT of tough times with her as she navigates the world and will try to remember what you wrote about not having to make everything easy. It is SO HARD to resist that tendency as a parent, right?? I'm a total Type A fixer personality so parenting is extremely humbling in that regard. I'm so glad Claire is in a better place and also that you are celebrating your hard work too. All of you deserve a freaking gold medal.
ReplyDeleteThank you! And yes, parenting is the most humbling and the humbling comes from all sides, including directly from your beloved child :). Gold medals for everyone!
DeleteLiterally just set up therapy for myself to discuss my tendency to want to solve my 14 year old girl's social problems :) It's a tough habit to break!!! And yes, I feel like a complete newbie parent with each child - they are so completely different.
ReplyDeleteIt is so tough. To be honest, aspects of it were easier for me because I know so few people in Dallas that I couldn't exert the background pressure I maybe could have in Fort Worth and I'm glad. Because she made it through, she knew we were there for her, and she feels stronger and more grounded for it. But oh man, it's so hard.
DeleteCan you tell us the differences between Landon’s and Claire’s high schools?
ReplyDeleteThe main difference is Landon's is public and Claire's will be private. We have big feelings about the world of private schools generally, and the egregious under-funding of our public school system and why it's bad for everyone if all students regardless of circumstance aren't given an opportunity to learn and grow, but there is simply no doubt Claire needed a much smaller and more personal environment, particularly as we continue to adjust medication and approaches for her ADD and other things, and that's what she's getting.
DeleteI'm SO sorry you are sick but this selfishly made me feel better - as I am sitting in bed on day 5 of COVID, still feeling like absolute garbage while my family gallivants their days away, still not able to work, and so tired of this that I am actually missing billable hours (!) Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteBetween Mon-Wed I billed a total of 3.0 hours. Sigh.
DeleteI've followed your blog for years and I'm always shocked by how similar Claire seems to my oldest (age 10, middle name Claire, oddly enough) She also received an ADHD diagnosis this year and reading your struggles has made me feel so much less alone, so thank you for that! Parenting is tough, but you always make me remember the upsides --- and that I'm not the only one struggling on this journey at times.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard! And made harder because they ARE their own people and we can't just publicly dive into the details like you could with a baby who won't sleep so you're brainstorming solutions to help. It helps so much to know you're not alone.
DeleteAlmost every time you post pictures of Cora, I wonder…is she happy that she finally has her (quite beautiful) “long, curly hair”?
ReplyDeleteYes!! She is DELIGHTED. Her hair stylist was so sweet last weekend and made sure to show her where she was going to trim before each cut was made so Cora was on board. Her hair is deeply important to her <3.
DeleteDid you hold Landon back from kindergarten? He's going to be 19 when he graduates high school? Struggling with that choice for my may birthday boy for kinder ha
ReplyDeleteWe did hold him back. He'll turn 19 the summer between high school and college, so he'll still be 18 when he graduates but 19 when he starts college. At the time we made the decision, when he was at the wee age of 5, the fact that he was premature (he was due in mid-August but born in mid-July) and had a (really) tough babyhood still felt so relevant, and we had just moved to Fort Worth and didn't know the schools or the process and it just led us to delay his start for a year.
DeleteI ended up somewhat regretting that decision in his later elementary school and middle school years because he was so bright and we worried he wasn't challenged (though he didn't have any behavioral issues because of this, as some kids can) and he seemed so mature. Then by high school I was so glad that we did because he was a very late bloomer and I can't imagine him having been a sophomore when he was starting his freshman year.
All of this is to say, I don't know what the answer is. Claire is also a summer birthday and we started her on time, had zero regrets, and then this past year thought to ourselves multiple times (and even talked to the school about it) that if she could only repeat 8th grade, from a maturity standpoint, high school would likely go so much better.
So I don't know, but truly wish you the best as you decide!