Another Kind of New Year's Eve

This is my last night being 36, and as I watch a soothing and uplifting episode Narcos Mexico Season 2 Episode 6 (lolno) with James, I feel quite at peace the the closing of another year and the start of a new one. 36 was great. It had its low moments, but there was a lot of growth, a lot of learning, and a lot of high moments along the way. I have never worked so hard at being a better version of myself, and while it's still work and I still sometimes find myself plodding down well-trod negative paths, I recognize the patterns so much faster and respond so much quicker. I'm a better wife (though I still have some work there), a better mom, and a better me. And I'm taking my hard-won tools with me to 37.

Landon made me a present for my birthday, but he was so excited he gave it to me for Valentine's Day instead.

It's a 3-D print of my precious Maggles and I love it so much. He worked very hard on the design, right down to her bent ears, and he was just beaming when he brought it out to me. It lives on my desk now and makes me smile every time I see it.

Claire also made me a present and gave it to me early. We get really excited about our gifts in this family.

It also hangs on my wall at work and brings me all the smiles. Each and every number cracks me up and makes me feel so seen and loved when I read them: 4 reference food and I really do love card games, a love Claire and I share over continuous rounds of Speed. Sometimes I worry we're too strict or busy and our kids think we just spend all day making them do chores. I know that isn't really true- my kids live a ridiculously blessed life and I have no actual qualms over their chores, our rules, and our high expectations of them, but I definitely have days where I look back and think, sure I'm glad the garbage was taken out, but did I put out anything positive today? did they feel loved? did we connect in a real way? was it all just tasks to be done?

But the kids are alright. They see us. They feel the love underneath the rules and structure and expectations of what we know they're capable of. They see the work we do, physical and emotional, and it means something. As Claire notes and lovingly illustrates, I cook, I play cards, I cheer her up, I say yes to candy most of the time... I can be cranky, but my middle child thinks I'm a ray of sunshine and I feel a little bit of her sparkle every time I re-read that line.

Last Thursday I spoke at Texas A&M Law School about practicing corporate law. It was great fun, as it is every year my professor friend invites me - it's like a grown-up career day with people who actually understand your job. I always encourage the students, largely 2Ls, to ask personal questions too - I can't hire them, they aren't trying to hire me - they can ask anything and if I'm going to answer it, I'll answer honestly. I usually get a mix of substantive securities law questions, questions about practicing at a firm and/or transitioning to government practice, and a few on balancing work and life and family.

I hope some of it's helpful to hear. If nothing else, I always tell them it's best to get answers from a lot of different people about their law practice, what they like, what they wish they'd known or would have done differently, what advice they have for a new attorney starting their practice... you'll identify with some and won't with others, but it'll all be in your head, waiting to be helpful one day, even as an example of something you don't want. I'm so thankful for the attorneys who took the time to talk with me along the way. The first lawyer I ever talked to was after I started law school- I'd never known or met one growing up and I'm not sure that's the best way to embark on a life changing grad school decision path. It worked out, but I talked to anyone who would sit down with me once I got to law school and I still think about some of the advice I was given by partners and associates who were generous enough to grab coffee with a 1L in downtown Chicago.

Over the weekend, we spent a lazy Saturday morning cuddling Maggie and conducting vacation research. We're headed to Curaçao for Spring Break and while we rented the house and bought the tickets months ago, I decided it was time to get to work on my list of things to do, places to eat, etc. A few hours of research later and my little notebook has many bullet points of ideas and I'm even more excited than I was before. Let me know if you have any suggestions of your own!

Also while googling, I took a few pictures of Maggie from my spot on the couch and they bring me great joy.

First Claire dropped by.

Then Cora. (This is maybe my favorite picture ever of Cora. Such love, such abandon, such a classic Cora outfit...)

And then just of Maggie. She's taken to sitting this way lately and while I think it's just because her feet get tangled, I like to think it's because she feels she's a fancy lady of leisure now, living in a grand house full of fluffy beds, and she wants to comport herself in a certain manner, even when at rest.

I adore her.

Grace and elegance personified.

I went to Orangetheory, errands were run, and then I ran into James and the girls at the mall. This was notable given that neither of us told the other we'd be at the mall and I go to the mall maybe 6x a year and James significantly less than that. They were shopping for my birthday present and I was making a return from an online order. And though we'd just seen each other a few hours earlier, the delight we each felt at the surprise reunion cannot be overstated.

(Note: I'd been on a search for white shorts before our trip and for life generally because my old ones don't fit and we're not dwelling on that. These are from American Eagle and they're great! Also the shirt is a hand-me-down from my sister and the yellow low block heels are from my birthday shopping trip with my mom and cost $12 from the clearance Dillards and I love them. They're like a smiley face on my feet.)

Landon spent the night at a friend's house that night, so we decided to go out to eat at a restaurant with lots of cheese (Landon hates cheese; it's not something I can explain but we try to eat ALL the cheese when he's away). Also Landon does the dishes every night now and when he's away we find ourselves very sad to be washing dishes again; how did we do them for so many years? We're going to be so sad when all our little helpers we worked so hard to train go to college (and also, we'll just miss them. but also, the dish washing and dishwasher emptying and trash taking outing...). We ended up at a newish fancy Mexican place and by the end of the meal I was wearing a sombrero while blushing madly to the birthday song in Spanish with a free piece of cinco leches cake and a free margarita.

It was an excellent night.

Sunday involved some chores and a lot of front yard and street scootering in front of the house. I taught my barre class which was full of regulars and absolutely high-energy and amazing. I can't believe I've been teaching there for 5 years next month. What an interesting turn my life took when I started taking barre at cute little Urban Yoga back in 2013. James made me dinner, with a recipe he researched, shopped for, cooked up and cleaned, since he wouldn't be able to do that on my real birthday tomorrow (he coaches until 6:30 on Tuesdays).

It was a steak salad and it was delicious.

Tomorrow when I wake up I'll be 37. I'm pretty excited about it. I feel like 37 is going to be an AMAZING year. There will be fun travels, increasingly grown-up and independent children, my 15th wedding anniversary and ever increasing love, depth, forgiveness, and humor in my marriage, growth in my professional career, barre and yoga and everything I love about working in the Fort Worth fitness community, time with friends who bring me so much joy, regular teeth flossing (this list is a little bit aspirational), my brother's wedding, regular use of eye cream (see previous parenthetical)... and it will start out with a rescue bulldog in a party hat because that's how all birthdays should begin.

Happy last week of February to you all!