There's a lot that I love about being a mom, and a lot that I love about being a working mom, but my very favorite thing has to be picking up Landon from daycare at the end of the day. Even if he's in a terrible mood and fussy for the rest of the evening, those moments after I walk in the classroom are always happy. I start smiling as I get close to the center and I feel almost giddy as I walk down the hallway to his classroom.
Last Monday I picked him up early so his first day back wouldn't be too long. The room was empty, so I walked out to the playground and saw Landon roaming around with a bouquet of weeds held tightly in his little hand. His face lit up when he saw me and he raced over yelling, "Mama! Mama! Mama!" I got a big hug and asked if he was ready to go home. "No" he said, "Mama come." And we walked all around the playground together. I love how comfortable and happy he is there - he's excited to see me, but it's not like he's dying to leave, which is the perfect combination. We did finally head home, stopping at the park for a while to enjoy the unusually cool 75 degree weather.
My favorite Landon-ism of the week is his newfound love of holding my hand. On that same night, Landon and I were eating dinner alone because JP was coaching until 8. Partway through his pasta, Landon asked to hold my hand ("Mama hand. Peez") and we finished eating the meal one-handed in companionable quiet. Two has been an extraordinarily delightful age. He's so fun and smart and funny and independent- he's trying new things and doing more and more on his own, and yet there's such sweetness in the way he'll suddenly ask to hold my hand or want to snuggle in my lap on the couch. I think I fall a little bit more in love with him every day. I do the same with JP and sometimes I wonder how much more I can handle.
We've been talking a lot lately about baby #2 and each day that Landon is so perfect it's a mark in both columns- on the one hand, I can't wait to love another child this much and experience this all over again. But on the other, I'm not ready to divide my time with him. There's so many quiet moments that we share together and I love that when I'm home, I'm his. Maybe it's in part because of our rough first year together, but in the past year I've truly fallen in love with being his mother, rather than just being in love with him. So while I look forward to seeing him play with his younger brother or sister, and I look forward to seeing our family grow, I'm just not ready for him to share me. Not yet.