Baby Hopes: the background

A lot of what this blog will (hopefully) be about is my life as a pregnant law student and then as a law school mom. JP and I have been wanting to start a family almost from the day we got married (14 months ago), but we forced ourselves to be practical and wait until the time was right. I knew I had to finish 1L year, save up money, get to know our new city, and have our future career/school plans somewhat decided. (Not that it stopped me from ordering pregnancy books a year ago!). It now feels like everything has fallen in to place. We hope to get pregnant sometime in the next several months. I'll be a 3L when the baby is born and JP will quit his job as an investment banker to stay home with the baby for however many months are between the birth and when he'll start business school. It will be a wonderful break for him before school starts and I'll know our child is in the best possible hands while I'm in class. We'll have my money from the firm job last summer and next summer. We'll have moved to a bigger apartment. All of these reasons, and more, make me so glad we waited. Our relationship is wonderful and so strong and we're really really excited about this next step. I've talked to the law school dean of students and she was very supportive and put me in touch with several other women who have done the same thing. As busy as I am as a law student, it doesn't compare with being a full-time attorney, so I'm happy to have a year of getting to know my baby and my own parenting skills while I have such a flexible schedule.

Now if only I could stop worrying about getting pregnant and the pregnancy itself. The women in my family and his have a history of miscarriages. My mom had 2, his mom had 3, my grandma had 1, his grandma had 2, each of my aunts had 1... I always told myself I'd try not to become too attached or excited just because I saw a positive pregnancy test. I now know that is going to be completely impossible. I think we're both going to be very attached to the small group of cells that are making the test positive from the very beginning. I think about my mom, and the other women in our families, and have a whole new level of respect and understanding for them. I'm also worried about getting pregnant - we tried for a few months earlier in the year but stopped so I could work this summer. Nothing happened, which actually worked out for the best because we've decided to move back to Austin after graduation, and not having a baby means I can spend 6 weeks this summer with my new Austin firm -- but it does make me a little bit worried about getting pregnant now. I always thought it was an instant thing- I've already started to secretly resent people who "accidentally get pregnant".

These are just my occassional thoughts and fears - in general we're excited and we know we have a whole year for something to happen. As always, it'll happen when its supposed to happen. In the mean time we enjoy each other and try to imagine all the things that will change as soon as we see those two pink lines :)