Of Pools and Tears and Wonder Toddlers

Our weekend was long, wonderfully busy, and full of fun, but it came to a harsh end at 5 a.m. this morning when a too-tired Cora wet the bed for the first time in forever and woke up Claire while industriously changing her own sheets (#MontessoriBaby). Claire, justifiably horrified that there was pee anywhere in her room and/or on her sister, ran to alert us to the situation. Cora couldn't figure out what the big deal was, but cheerfully went along to the shower with James while I sorted through her 25 loveys to determine while were contaminated and which could remain in bed. At 6 a.m. we were back in our own bed for a short extra hour of semi-sleep when we then had to shake awake a comatose Landon who made us regret awaking him with every fiber of his emotional rage-filled well-coiffed being until a friend came to pick up both big kids for camp. An all-day golf camp that one kid attended without breakfast, sunscreen, or a hat because fuck it I can only try so hard to save you from yourself. Thirty minutes later, as I was riding the elevator up to the 19th floor of my building 20 minutes before testimony was set to start with a big Starbucks and a lot of fluster, a very nice woman told me I looked very nice today, I nearly cried and almost hugged her and made everything awkward for everyone.

Cora, a calm center in the storm, waiting patiently for James to drive her to preschool

But let's get back to the weekend because it had all the things: food, family, fun, swimming, rainbow goggles, and the victorious rise of a middle-age mom triumphing over adversity, her discomfort in not being able to wear makeup in public, and a newfound fear of tall diving blocks. It's a surprisingly emotional tale.

To set the stage: my mom drove into town in the early afternoon on Friday to hang out with the big kids while James went to swimming so they could have a break from having to go to James's pool with him (last week was crazy). I joined in the early evening with Cora and then my mom and I went out on a dinner date on our way to pick up my dad from the airport (coming back from a business trip) after James got home. I loved dinner with my mom- a rare and special treat that just happened to be crazy delicious, even if I was skeptical of "vegan queso" and other things that should be terrible but were amazing instead. We got home from the airport around 10:30 and were up at 5:30 for the meet. Oh summer league, you can be a bitch. James had pre-made brioche french toast the night before because while he won't ever pack a school lunch ahead of time, he will prepare for swim meets like you can't believe, and we were all out the door at 6:45. Five swimmers, ready to rock.

FIVE swimmers. We were all entered in the meet, ensuring that you could enjoy a Lag Liv family swimmer every 10 minutes or so.

First up was Cora, the tiniest swimmer in the meet.

The official age group is "6 & Under" and seeing a 4-year-old is pretty rare. 3 years old is a first for me, and I was a little worried she'd get overwhelmed.

But not Cora. She refused the cap, but donned her rainbow goggles and lined up with all the kids she's never seen before and marched to her lane. James got in the water to help coax her down, but she took off like a pro, using big arms and big kicks and just generally killing it.

Obviously, I cried.

She's just so little and it was so sweet and she was so sweetly delighted by all the claps at the end. A year ago today she was having one of her first lessons in our pool and now she's a certified swim team member. It was very precious to me. I'm so proud of her. And so proud of James too. Our kids are great swimmers because of him, his coaching, his patience, and his passion. For as intense and competitive as he is (and he is very much those things), he is even more genuinely in love with the sport and that always shines through in the way he works with them.

I just teared up again. I'm feeling emotional about swimming again, I can't tell you how weird this is. Here, Cora found you a flower. (Always; wherever we go.)

Adding to the emotion of Cora's first swim meet ever, was the fact it was my first meet in a very long time. Sixteen and a half years. Basically half my life.

I'd once told James I might sign up once Cora was on the team and I didn't have to chase her at the meets. This was last summer and given that our little toddler could barely kick to the wall when dropped into the pool a foot away, that future magical day felt a safely long way away. Fast forward 12 months and James signs us both up for swim team. Feeling a sense of unreality about the whole thing I said sure, I can do the 50 and 100 free and 100 IM. Why not?

Then the meet got closer and I started thinking wait, can I? Why am I assuming I can? So I did my 15 minutes of practice, ensuring I could physically complete the distance and promptly went back to ignoring the future until I stood on the very high block for the 100 free at the swim meet, my parents beaming from the bleachers, and my stomach telling me I should probably throw up now.

TAKE YOUR MARK. BEEEP.

You guys, it was so fun. It didn't feel great, but it didn't feel terrible. I have one speed and I can't seem to make myself go faster and I went a time I used to be able to sprint in practice (1:02; I didn't even break a minute, that did sting a bit), but I won the adult heat and more than anything I felt so empowered. I thought I would feel more sad or empty- I'm really not near as fast as I was and I didn't get to witness the slow down: the last time I raced a 100 free I was a senior in high school and went a high 54 and then BAM 34 years old going a 1:02. But it didn't feel like that at all. It was powerful.

I managed to go slightly faster in the 50 (27.8) then it was time for the 100 IM, my toughest event of the day and one the meet organizers saw fit to combine with the 15-18 age group since I was the only adult doing it. The next oldest competitor was precisely half my age. And I mean no disrespect my young and un-wrinkled competitors, but it felt fucking fantastic to win that heat. Even if I had to stop breathing for the last part of the free because I can no longer breathe to my left to see how close the race was.

Claire and Landon won all 3 of their own events, both swimming beautifully and dropping time from last year. It was super fun to hang out with them on the ready bench.

James swam 8 events, winning all of them, and then joined me for an adult relay race at the end. We both anchored. Obviously, I smoked him.

My parents loved it all. Their such swim fans and we capped it off with a fab lunch and even fabber frozen cucumber margarita at Americado afterward. Because this is how adults cool down after a race.

After the meet we took a short break from swimming for card games and Connect 4 (the kids are obsessed and my parents are willing) and then, obviously, got back in the pool for more swimming.

My mom and I swam really hard.

Cora took to the skies, resulting in one of my favorite pictures ever.

She flew through the air with calm acceptance, clutching the turtle she didn't want anyone else to use and a small toy caterpillar she found in our old pool bin and adopted as her own.

After the extra bonus swim time, James and I changed for dinner and a movie and my parents took the kids out for giant ice cream cones to celebrate their stellar academic year. They were going to take them anyway, but their high-A report cards happened to come in the mail that very day, so everyone got extra toppings and double scoops even though we've never let them have more than a kiddie size. It blew their minds.

Wonder Toddler; also mind-blowing

James and I saw Wonder Woman and while I've expended all my bloggy emotions on the swim meet (seriously, I teared up again while typing, I don't even know), I must tell you that I cried sporadically throughout Wonder Woman too. It's so good- in a classic, fabulous, action movie way (truly one of the best we've seen in a very long time), but also in a surprisingly empowering and emotional way. TLo's review sums it up pretty well. In all my years of watching movies I'm not sure I've ever seen one where the woman drives the action of the movie. Truly drives it. Is not the victim of it, changed by it, or looking to marry it. She just gets to be the hero, and she's incredible. It's a great movie. I was awash in its glory the whole drive home and until we tucked ourselves in bed, one million hours after our day began to go swim. It was a really good day.

On Sunday my parents left the morning and I sent Cora to her room to get dressed for our usual litany of errands. James went to help her get down her chosen dress and came out of her room, shaking his head and laughing, "you're going to love this one."

Possibly her best erranding ensemble ever.

She leaves a trail of smiles wherever she goes. Costco has never been so fancy.

We had friends over to swim in the afternoon and then followed said friends to their house to grill dinner. I made Greek pasta salad and Greek marinated chicken breasts. James made children cry with his four square skills and strict rule enforcement. It was a good time.

That all ended up 5 a.m. this morning. But then testimony went well, the kids LOVED golf camp and were in the best moods ever when I got home, and so our days will start again tomorrow.

And then on Saturday? I'm swimming in a meet again. I can't believe how excited I am.

Ants Marching

I'm sitting here on the couch sipping my follow-on skinny margarita after my celebratory prickly pear swirled frozen margarita at my new fave local taco joint.

~ ~ ~

Annnnnnnd that's all I wrote last night. I didn't even put a period on the end of that sentence, but I just went back and added one now because I couldn't handle a word just left dangling in the wind like that. Clearly I abandoned my grammatical principles to tequila and exhaustion.

I know yesterday was only Wednesday, but it was already a WEEK.

I generally control the pace of my investigations- we're pre-litigation, so while I always have many things to do, I rarely have a tight deadline under which to do them. This changes when I have testimony. Particularly when I somehow end up with 4 days of testimony involving 4 different witnesses over 4 weeks in 2 cases. Not only does this require a lot of preparation- reviewing docs, picking exhibits, crafting an outline, thinking about what information I need to answer the questions still open in my investigation... but then you're in testimony, all day, shut in a conference room, not checking emails, not responding to messages, not doing the other forward moving things you need to be doing in your other 6 cases. Testimony is intense and fun and in many ways, one of the best parts of my job, but it can be exhausting. Once a week for a month, particularly so.

Which is a long-winded way of saying I worked until midnight at my kitchen table on Monday and Tuesday nights, just me, my laptop, a very large stack of documents, sticky notes, a beverage, and Landon's ant farm. James would occasionally call out "I miss you" from the TV room until he went to bed and then it was just me and the ants.

I know I've had some thought tornadoes lately, but nothing drove home the fact that I no longer like working at night like having to work at night for a few days. And it was just TWO DAMN DAYS. It sucked and I hated it. I didn't get to watch Better Call Saul at the precise moment it aired and I had to skip yoga and I was tired and I missed my hours of nightly couch osmosis bonding cuddle time with James and I left for work super early so, as Cora was quick to yell accusingly at me across the kitchen when she saw me Tuesday night, "MOMMY! I DID NOT SEE YOUR FACE THIS MORNING!"

I did not see her face either.

Our week in general was a little scattered and crazy. It's the first week of summer- which means the return of our summer camp "where are the kids this week?" excel spreadsheet. This year it's made both easier and more complicated by the fact that James isn't teaching any midday lessons, so the big kids can mostly stay home with him and then Tara will come over at 3, just like she does during the school year. We've got a few camps for the kids, James really does have a ton of work to do during those daytime hours, but mostly they're stay-at-home kids this summer and that's new for all of us.

(Also crazy, but mostly crazy awesome- taking our daily living room performances up a level with the microphone karaoke stand James and I gave Claire for her birthday - her birthday post is still coming! - because if your kid is going to sing the Trolls sound track all day, don't you want her to be able to do it LOUDER?! Yes, yes you do.)

But then this week Tara had to step in as James's deck manager so we didn't really even have her, so all the kids went to the pool all afternoon. And also James decided to coach a stroke clinic for 3 mornings this week (and only this week), so the big kids are doing that, but it makes for a lot of pool time and unique logistics of getting everyone where they need to be while I'm working 15 hour days and unusually inflexible and unreliable about helping with any of it.

I did manage to teach barre on Monday in my new stripey pants. I love them. And I love the new lunge set I made up and the fact that teaching forced me to take the time out to do them.

On Tuesday night the ants and I were grooving to the smooth stylings of the Dave Matthews Live at Red Rocks album (a 2-disc album, if you remember the days when music was limited by storage size). At a few minutes after midnight I felt my outline was mostly complete and I was ready to let my sleepy subconscious commit my exhibits to memory so I wouldn't be bound by the outline I'd just created (I like to skip around depending on where the witness takes me, but you can't do that unless you're sufficiently fluent in your documents).

On Wednesday, I was at work at 7 a.m., shiny new binder, pen, and notepad and boxes of docs ready to go. Plus a Venti lightly sweet chai tea latte, of course. I swore in the witness at 9 and a little over six hours of accounting questioning later, we were done with day 1! Just in time for me to answer a bunch of emails for other cases and then head home to dig out an old training suit to go swim.

Because, oh yes, adding to the general feeling of stress and craziness of the week, I'm signed up for my first swim meet in SEVENTEEN YEARS on Saturday. Seventeen years. Half of my life. I've swum a few laps here and there- right after Claire was born... swimming across the lake in Wisconsin last summer. But diving? Racing? Flip turns? Swimming in front of people? No.

But I'd told James and the kids I would do summer league once Cora was old enough to do it, and though she's a tiny three-year-old, she is mighty (and the daughter of a swim school owner) and she's taking the 6-and-under age group to a whole new level. It's going to be amazing.

And James, who forgets many things, somehow remembered my promise and signed me up for the team and the first meet. My name and age appear on Saturday's heat sheet under 18+ 100 IM, 100 Free, and 50 Free. Gulp.

So I thought Wednesday afternoon after no sleep and an exhausting day would be the perfect time to dig out that ancient TYR swimsuit, steal Claire's cap and James's goggles, and dive in. I had a secret hope that the water would feel amazing and my new barre and yogi strength would propel me to new swimming heights. That... did not happen. But I had a much bigger secret fear that it would all feel terrible and clunky and awful and that wasn't true either. It felt equally good and different. Good because water just always feels good, and different because I'm just different. I weigh 30 lbs. less than I did when I was a swimmer, so I'm leaner, but I think I'm stronger too. At least everywhere that isn't my shoulders.

To celebrate my ability to swim each of my new events without dying (even if I do now apparently only swim at one speed- I kept thinking in my head, "kick faster! go faster!" and my body was just like no, this feels nice, we're no longer a multi-speed model), and finishing my day of testimony, I took the kids to get tacos and margaritas.

Tacos for them, margarita for me, queso for all.

(I found this picture on my phone later, I'm assuming Landon took it. Love Claire's isntant posing.)

A very nice man at the restaurant gave all the kids koozies and Cora thought they were accessories for her arms and the big kids were like "OH! Mom! Cora figured out what these are for!" because I guess James and I never drink anything out of koozies (or cans, really) and they were so relieved Cora had cracked the case so they could use their new toys.

Also, Landon told me that he did an 8 minute plank in James's swim clinic and won the contest and he wasn't even tired but James made him stop because the other kids were bored and it was time to do something else. Today he did one for 11 minutes. Maybe we can rent him out for parties.

Today I spent much of my morning riveted by the Comey testimony. Luckily, I suppose, it's not every day your country's former FBI director who was fired for investigating your President testifies that your President is a liar and your Attorney General and former National Security Advisor are being investigated for lying about their meetings with and ties to Russia. Making America great again indeed.

And then James came by with the big kids to delivery beautiful flowers and 16 of my favorite fresh-baked Tiff's Treats cookies because the are awesome and I guess they missed my face too.

And now I have more work to do tomorrow and then my parents come to town to watch all five of us compete at our first swim meet of the season. We have to be in Granbury, nearly an hour away, by 7:30 a.m. on Saturday and I haven't gotten more than 5 hours of sleep since Sunday and it's 12:30 a.m. now so I should probably wrap this stream of nonsense up. Hopefully the next time I write I'll have victorious and non-humiliating things to write about my first time to get wet at a swim meet since early 2001. I'm sure I'll have something to say about that.

A Torrential Downpour of Good Times and Pictures

School has ended! Parties have happened! We've gotten SO MUCH RAIN!

Last Day of School pic

The week was crazy. Monday was a holiday, Tuesday was a very full work day, and Wednesday was Claire's awards ceremony!

You'll be glad to know she graduated first grade, even if she isn't happy about it at all. She has loved first grade like she loved Kindergarten- possibly even more- and she is truly devastated to leave her teacher behind. Remember when I wrote my post about daycare kids and how wonderful it is to find these people who become such important bright spots of love in your kids' lives? Well elementary school can be like that too and her first grade teacher is a true bright spot.

Claire also got Outstanding Citizenship, High Honor Roll, and Reader Leader for every six weeks. It's been a great year for her. She's learned so much and, possibly not related, lost so many teeth.

Wednesday was also the big kids' first summer league swim practice of the year and Claire got stung by a bee! Tons of excitement all around.

Past experience with bees

Thursday was almost normal, except I taught two barre classes that night, at 5:00 and 7:00, which was fun and exhausting. I wouldn't normally do that except my old studio needed a sub and I love them and I so rarely miss a night with the kiddos that it felt okay. Especially since I was taking off the next day for Last Day of School shenanigans. And I'd just bought new stripey yoga pants I needed to justify. (They're beautiful, no additional justification was really needed.)

Also on Thursday, Landon did his oral presentation for his third grade state project to Claire's first grade class! It was random that their classes got paired, but it was so cute.

Claire's teacher sent me pictures- look at her listening intently to her brother's presentation!

Landon had a note card of facts and everything, but he told me he didn't really even need to use it. Then he proved it by repeating his presentation to me about 5 times while I made dinner. He may be too cool for me to mess up his hair, but he remains earnest and adorable about all academic endeavors.

Now for Friday! Landon's awards ceremony was at 1:00. He also graduated! He loved third grade, but unlike Claire, is quite delighted to move on to fourth. (Fourth!)

He also got High Honor Roll and a bunch of other things.

Claire loves school with her whole heart, Landon thinks it's great mostly because he's effortlessly good at it and he's a social butterfly who needs a swarm and a reason to do his hair in the morning. We loved his teacher this year and are so thankful for all she did to keep him challenged and excited about class each day.

It's been a wonderful year. I genuinely can't believe it's over.

Friday afternoon was a little Last Day of School pool party. James had to coach until 7 and I knew my kids would be crazy, so I wanted people over to drink margaritas while the kids play in the pool. We planned to order some catered Mexican food and make is super easy and splashy.

Except it rained. It rained the minute school got out and didn't feel like stopping. Now I suddenly had 22 people in my house in swim suits. Luckily, I also had the margaritas and 90's Smash Hits on my Spotify. So we rocked out. Twelve old people in a kitchen with margaritas in Yetis. Every memory was better than the last. We knew every word to every song we didn't know we remembered. Our kids were appalled. As every generation has noted, kids just don't understand good music these days.

make it stoooooppp

We got the food and ate picnic style on the floor. My kids, who have never eaten a bite of food away from the kitchen table found this to be AMAZING.

A million 90's songs later and the skies cleared just before bedtime. The kids jumped in the pool and I made a 4th pitcher of margaritas.

It was a good time, even if I had to pull the dust buster out a few times along the way. I can handle a lot. I can't handle food anywhere food isn't supposed to be.

Today (Saturday; it's been a full week) was Claire's MUCH anticipated birthday party! 25 1st graders and siblings coming to our house to swim! Troll themed, with lots of music, a treasure hunt in the pool, and ALL THE SWIMMING. So obviously, it started raining immediately after we woke up. Landon and I ran errands at 11 and water was just being dumped from the sky onto our heads like it was personal.

The party was supposed to go from 2-4 and I was standing in Michael's at 12:30 trying to think of backup craft activities to do in the house when I just couldn't handle it and sent a red-alarm emoji-filled text to all the parents officially postponing the party until 3. We've never had to do that before but the chance of rain went down every hour after 1:00 and I just hoped and prayed it would help. And we couldn't push back more than that because we had ANOTHER pool party for a friend that started at 6:00. So we continued our errands, forgoing the practical craft-filled backup plan and going for hopes and pretend sun god sacrifices instead.

It totally worked.

I set up all the snacks and decorations inside beforehand, because I have to party-prep somehow and it was actively raining outside until EXACTLY 2:55 p.m. So everyone admired the spread and then went straight outside to swim, hallelujah.

Eventually I trusted the blue skies enough to transfer all the snacks back outside where they belonged. I made Trolls-themed chex snack mix with multiple eye-searing colors of candy melts.

We had 48 bags of cotton-candy "Troll hair."

Poppy's pink party punch for grown-ups and water and juice for the kiddos.

A giant rainbow cake from Costco because "rainbows" felt the most Troll-like of the options.

But mostly, there was swimming.

James even got to swim when he jumped in fully clothed to rescue a drowning child whose parent dropped off their kid without telling us he COULDN'T SWIM. When I told the parent what happened at the pickup, he shrugged and said "yeah, that's happened before." [RAGE]

But everyone had fun. Even the poor child who couldn't swim but happily played on the steps under the eagle-eye of James and his wet shorts for the rest of the time.

Claire opened her presents- lots of Trolls and arts and crafts, utter perfection for our shiny happy near-7-year-old. The $10-20 birthday price point is really her jam.
She has no long-term collections or preferences, she just loves lots of little things she can squirrel away in her 1,000 shoe box treasure boxes like the happy hoarder she is.

I'll write about her birthday milestone tomorrow- she's owed her own post, so I'll wrap up with a pic from our super fun second pool party of the day. Our kids somehow found it thrilling to swim hard for 2 more hours, including this kid who is now too cool for goggles at a coed 9-year-old birthday party and who I honestly didn't recognize when I spotted him across the pool.

And now, moments before midnight, we're off to bed so we can celebrate our sweet sunshine girl in the morning. Can't believe my Biscuit is turning 7. What fun it has been every year so far.