Diagnosis: Acid Reflux

I finally called the pediatrician yesterday about Landon's discomfort. I spoke with the triage nurse and after describing his symptoms she told us we needed to come into the office today. I was thinking she'd just recommend a new formula, so the urgency with which she made our appointment made me think we probably should have called the doctor sooner. I'm not a worrier and never have been- my most frequently uttered phrase is probably "It'll be fine." I wondered if being a new mom would change that, but it didn't, I'm still generally convinced that everything will be fine. But now I think I need to turn up the worry a little. Landon can't tell me what's wrong and two weeks ago when I thought he had signs of acid reflux I should have called the doctor rather than thinking every parent worries and it's usually nothing so I'll just wait. When we told our doctor about the episode two days ago where he screamed so hard he stopped breathing she gave us a kind, but stern order to go to an emergency room anytime he stops breathing. I'm sure that most parents would be properly alarmed if their baby stopped breathing and they'd rush off to the ER without having to be told, but we saw Landon stop and restart breathing so many times in the NICU that the event has lost some of its shock value.

Anyway, besides from making us feel like neglectful parents, the visit accomplished something else- Landon has been diagnosed with acid reflux and is now on Zantac. His colic-like symptoms combined with his post-bottle coughing and nasal congestion all add up to classic GERD. I'm so glad it is something that can be helped. The Zantac doesn't make the reflux stop, it just stops the stomach acid from being produced so the reflux doesn't hurt any more and his esophagus can heal. The sphincter that's allowing the formula to come back up should tighten up over time. We're looking forward to being the better rested parents of a much happier baby.

Little Cowboy

The Other Side of the Baby Coin

Thanks for the nice, helpful comments on my previous point. Sunday was definitely a low point- I was just so tired. Things have improved. I don't think it's so much that Landon's gas pains are better, we're just better at comforting him. I've also managed to get some sleep; the world is much brighter when you're (almost) well-rested. Now that I can think clearly, I think he just has colic. The crying is definitely confined mostly to the evenings and when I read a list of colic symptoms, they describe him perfectly. So unless things get worse or change, we'll keep comforting him and wait it out.

The sleep has brought a renewed attitude of appreciation for all the fantastic things about having a newborn in the apartment. For one, he's adorable. He's so cute, it's hard to stop myself from squeezing him too tight. He's started babbling- just little coos and noises so far, but it's the first time he's made noises that aren't just angry/unhappy sounds. Before, happiness meant silence- it's nice to feel like he can respond when he's feeling content. He has a big time batting at his toys in the play gym- he definitely has greater control over his bodily movements, you can see him try to reach for certain toys. Sleeping on his stomach is by far the most comfortable position for him, and I love when he's stretched across my chest or lap taking a nap. His arms stretch out around me and he makes little sleepy sighs of contentment. And even though I hate when he's screaming, it does feel good to know that I can calm him. When I pick him up and hold him close and bounce or rock him and his crying quiets until he's just calmly looking around the room- that's when I really feel like a mother. And it's wonderful.

Gas Pains, Parenting Pains

For a while I thought the sleep thing wasn't so bad- yes, it was broken up into lots of pieces, but the pieces usually added up to an acceptable amount. For several weeks Landon obligingly drank his bottle and went right back to sleep. This ended about 10 days ago. Now he gets terrible gas pains after drinking his bottle (and sometimes during)- he writhes and screams and shrieks for 30-45 minutes. He doesn't do it after every feeding- some of them remain peaceful and calm, and others just have a few moments of discomforts, but at least two a day involve pain for everyone (sadly, one of those two is always the 3-4am feeding). Supposedly gas pains peak between 3-6 weeks. Landon is 6 weeks old today, but he was 4 weeks early so he could be a little behind on these types of developments. We've finally figured out a few things that comfort him and make the screaming stop, but we've been unsuccessful in preventing the gas pains themselves. Frequent burping, keeping his head elevated, bottles with collapsible liners, mylicon drops etc. seem to have little to no effect. It's awful to see him in so much pain- he screams so much he can barely breathe. It's awful to be this exhausted. And it's probably awful for those living in neighboring apartments.

Target & a Tornado

Landon and I had a big adventure today. I try to plan a little outing each day to make me feel like I'm still a member of the human race- a stroll in the park, a walk to Walgreens to pick up more pictures I've taken of him, a short drive to Target, etc. Today was a Target day because we needed more diapers and mylicon drops (a godsend for the gas that seems to take over his little body multiple times a day). The weather was beautiful when we pulled into the parking lot. Less than ten minutes later the entire store goes black- and stays black for a solid 2 minutes. The generator lights turn on and I look out the windows at the front of the store to see what appears to be a hurricane. It's raining so hard I can't see the cars in the parking lot. Then all the employees start herding people to the back of the store because a tornado has touched down nearby and we have to be away from the windows. No one is allowed to open the doors to leave (not that you'd want to), the air conditioning is off, and it's getting hot and panicky inside the darkened Target aisles. After about 15 minutes of me rocking Landon back and forth in the cart and praying he doesn't wake up, the tornado warning was changed to a severe thunderstorm warning and we're allowed to leave. It was definitely a bigger adventure then I had planned, and I'm starting to understand my mom's advice to never leave the house without a bottle and multiple diapers because you just never know what could happen while you're gone.

Getting Back to Normal

It's amazing what the female body can go through and then bounce back from. 5.5 weeks ago I was hugely pregnant, +40 pounds, swollen, and about to push a 7 lb. 7 oz. baby out of me. Now I've lost 33 lbs, can see my ankles, wear my wedding rings, and have my period and sex life back (I only missed one of those). It's really pretty incredible, but I suppose it makes sense if women were made to do this before modern medicine and conveniences showed up.

Speaking of getting back to normal, I'm trying to figure out my birth control options before my 6-week check up with my midwife. I was on the pill for 6 years which worked just fine, but I'm intrigued by the IUD/Implant options. They're so big in Europe and Asia and so not big here. I wonder why- it seems like it would be nice to have a relatively foolproof and maintenance free birth control option until we want baby #2 (2-3 years off). I'm about to do some google research, but if anyone has any explanations/comments/experiences/friend's experiences, I'd welcome them!

Spa Day

My in-laws flew into town 1 hour after my mom flew out (I was so sad to see her go- we had so much fun together last week). They drive me crazy for lots of reasons- some of them not so minor- but I must admit they are quite generous and have good intentions. They gave me gift certificates to the Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa for a signature massage, manicure, and pedicure as a baby shower gift. I was supposed to use them before the baby was born, and I actually scheduled the prenatal massage for July 21st, but Landon showed up on the 15th and I had to cancel.

Today they came over to babysit their first grandchild and I spent the afternoon downtown shopping and being pampered. It was fantastic. The massage was perfect- just the right amount of pressure (due to being a former swimmer my back is still really muscular and many massage therapists don't press hard enough) and just the right amount of chatting (very little). I felt like I was floating above the table by the end. Someday, if BigLaw works out for me and I'm rolling in money, I'm getting weekly massages- or at least bi-weekly. It can really change your perspective on life. I exited the Red Door feeling refreshed, revived, and ready for more late nights with Landon.

Tired

I am so tired. I don't think I've ever felt this run down. It's the kind of tired where you can still function and most of the time you feel fine, but when you sit and let yourself relax the exhaustion just starts washing over you in waves. I know I'm supposed to take naps and "sleep when the baby sleeps" and I think that is a great idea- it just never ends up happening. I'm not a napper and never have been. I had a severe case of mono my freshman year and I didn't even take naps then. It's really hard for me to unwind at night and fall asleep- it's nearly impossible to do that in the middle of the afternoon. There's always stuff to do, someone to talk to, a book to read- and I really value my baby-free productive time. The times when Landon is sleeping also seem to be the moments I feel the least tired. It's when he wakes up and wants to be held that I remember how exhausted I am. I don't want to wish away his babyhood, but it's going to be really nice when he sleeps more than 3-4 hours at a time.

1 Month Picture

Just Ducky

And in an adorable onesie from Shelley

1 Month Check-Up

Vitals:

• Weight: 9 lb. 3 oz, up from 7 lb. 7 oz at birth; stayed in 25-50th percentile
• Length: 21 inches, up from 20.5; went down from the 50th to the 25th percentile
• Head Circumference: grew from 25th to 50th percentile

The doctor was very pleased with his weight and I am pleased that he waited for his head to grow up to the 50th percentile until after he was born.