My Summer House

So things are hard, really really unimaginably hard in many places and for many people and I wrote about it and am reading and donating and talking in my real life, but I'm going to zoom back into my own little privileged corner to record the last week because that's what I do here, I document our life, and I was too stressed last week to keep up. But like posting vacation photos during the start of a global pandemic, I understand my stories are pretty ridiculous and shallow and annoying to many, particularly those who can't escape the racial disparities of our country like I can. They are. But here they are from the last week:

Maggie does, truly, love you

Last week James reopened the swim school, sort of, in our backyard pool. He and his instructors are wearing masks, he's only doing private or semi-private classes, and, in addition to his other cleaning protocols, the science was clear that chlorine kills everything, including Coronavirus. So he reopened and almost immediately filled all his classes and I was so glad and happy for him to have his business back, his passion and livelihood, and for our family finances to get the boost of his second income. And then I realized, he's now working. I'm still working and HE'S now working and his work is outside and now my kids can't go outside and will be trapped inside with me. Inside where I am working.

Maggie is unbothered by any of this

I became VERY stressed about this. We came up with plans for the kids, schedules and things to do, and protocols to wait until dad comes inside if you need something instead of going straight to mom. And they kind of worked! But what I did not anticipate- and therefore neglected to stress about- was the NOISE coming from my backyard. The chatter and splashing and cheerful instructions to "kick kick kick!". And the screaming. OMG the screaming. Most toddlers do not really want to learn how to swim. The water was chilly and this isn't the fun swimming in the bathtub and they object. And I get it - both Landon and Claire were strong and vocal objectors to swim lessons, but at one point there were three lessons in a row with screamers, so that's 90 minutes of constant angry noises, and by the end my heart was racing and I had to get up and do some yoga breathing because second-hand stress is real. I work in our bedroom, which faces the pool, and the wall is made of windows and they apparently block NO NOISE because I'm 100% certain that poor toddler was screaming in my face. It was a lot and I was simply not expecting it and when I finally finished me work, an hour after the swim school closed at 6:30 p.m., I took a bath and did not emerge until 8.

But now I have ear muffs (the noise canceling headphones were not sufficient) and an awareness of the issue and the water isn't quite so cold and the little toddler fish have not been quite so mad. So this week is better. But it's still hard to be inside with the kids working full-time, with all the people outside in their backyard and pool, with James so busy, with our camps canceled... it's going to be an interesting summer. But we made a plan!

And we are lucky to have this solution in a time of difficult problems, but oy. The days, they are long.

But, if the days are long, the years are damn short. This cheerful little third baby just finished Kindergarten and is now a 1st grader! We got to drive up to the school last week to get a distanced photo op with her teacher and say goodbye and Cora was SO EXCITED.

She has grown so much this year - in maturity, personality, and height! - and her reading and writing skills are just amazing.

First day / Last day

She LOVES to write and spends hours on any card or story and I just love it. She's an observer and I swear, a budding blogger.

Claire is headed to 5th grade and Landon to 7th. Everyone is a big kid and both James and I feel genuinely sad at our lack of chubby cheeked toddlers and little kids running around. Big kids are great and I'd like to keep at least one at all times, but I'd go back to toddlers in a heartbeat. There's an exuberance, a joyful purity and simplicity about them that I adore and it's really hard to know those days are truly behind us.

Last Day of "School"

But we like the big kids too. And there's still exuberance, even if it's about video games I don't care about but still somehow get subjected to HOURS long stories I don't understand by people who follow me around the house and then lay on the floor by my desk to continue the story I lost track of hours ago.

Also last week, the ladies of the house decided we needed a jolt to our morning routine and went out for Starbucks for the first time in many months. The drive-through was a thrill for all, including Maggie, who got her very own Puppachino for the occasion.

The girls got tiny "thai cheas" and I got my giant Chai Tea and all was well and caffeinated.

I continue to do my workouts every morning before work.

Maggie helps and then naps it off.

I ran errands for the first time since our trip this weekend - the kind of errands where you go to multiple stores and look at things you can't buy online and then buy them in person. It was weird and normal and the mask was annoying by the end.

But I like that it brings out the blue in my eyes. I went to TJ Maxx and found flower girl dresses for my brother's wedding and went to Michael's and found the perfect bin for Cora's dollhouse accessories that she likes to set up all over the house (our actual house, NOT her actual dollhouse). It was nice, but also tiring, and after a couple hours I just wanted to be back home.

It's going to be weird if/when we're ever out and about as much as we used to be.

In tiny victories, our new schedule worked really well for Day 1 of Week 2 of the swim school and Week 1 of summer. It's detailed enough for the kids to not ask me what else is happening all day, but loose enough to allow for them to fill in what they want. In an ideal world, it'd just be a blank slate, but in the world where I'm a full-time lawyer working out of her bedroom with three kids in the house all summer, it's what we've got. The kids are doing Camp Wonderopolis courses and Landon is signed up for a cooking class through Out School. We're doing journal prompts every morning. Tomorrow's is "what's your favorite memory with mom" and I don't care that it's completely self-serving. I can't wait to read them.

Top Teen Chef

On a down note, the AC unit in the main part of our house died last night. Our repair guy patched it with a temporary fix (and a loaner blower), but we're finally having to move ahead with the big HVAC/duct work replacement project we knew was coming since we bought the house in 2012. It's a bummer- a very expensive bummer- but we saved and have been waiting to be forced to spend it on something so unexciting. Though it will be nice to have all the rooms at one temperature! That kind of luxury should be heading our way in mid-June.

But back to highlights- I made this Roasted Tomato Puttanesca pasta tonight and it's one of the best things I've made in forever. I used whole wheat spaghetti, green olives, and followed everything as instructed. It was incredible and everyone- even those who think they dislike certain ingredients included therein- inhaled it. Little victories, I'll take them.