Upworthy

Thank you for the reassurance on the last post. It's not what I meant to write, but my exhaustion and genuine preoccupation with the matter forced itself through my fingers, making me to re-title the post and delete the pictures and other random things I'd plan to include in my update. So thanks. The normalcy of fading memories is nice to hear. It's bothered me for over a year, but since none of my friends in Fort Worth have any idea that nightmare ever happened, I couldn't just drop it into our usual lunchtime conversations about kids. And JP, who never worries about anything, admitted that he worried about it too when I mentioned it to him. Guilt or sadness isn't something I've associated with parenting, at least not since the end of 2007 when Landon's biggest problem was inheriting his father's ear canals. I've genuinely never understood the guilt people talk about with mothering- worry, absolutely, but not guilt. I'm fully aware I'm not a perfect mother, but I also know for certain that I'm doing my best, that my heart and soul go into this beloved role of mine, and even if I were to waver, it's obvious the kids are vibrantly healthy, happy, secure little beings, so I don't usually go looking for trouble. It was an uncomfortable place, is what I'm trying to say, and for 15 months I couldn't get out of it. I feel a little better now, or at least have some helpful perspectives to talk myself down when I can't sleep and end up on that particular cliff.

So moving on to other fun and random things. (1) I got back from Houston very late Thursday night in time to rest a bit before heading to Breakfast with Mom on Friday morning at the kids' school. School makes holidays like Mother's Day (which JP, who never liked his mother, does not really recognize; even when I noted that I am a mother who could be recognized, he looked at me confused and said, yeah, but you're not my mother. This properly calibrated my expectations for his performance on future Mother's Days) a million times better.

 

We enjoyed breakfast and I was gifted with treasures and very special cards, particularly from Landon who is now old enough to write and illustrate the entire card by himself. Claire colored a giant pot with a tiny flower and was EXTREMELY proud of the plant she grew for me. She talks to it every day on the kitchen counter.

 

(2) While on the topic of why children are so much fun, I bought two paintings from Target to see if one might go in our new playroom space (a major work in progress; emphasis on work, not progress). I propped them in the corners of the future playroom room and within minutes, L & C had built a house with walls, lovely art, and a getaway car. They played in it all of Saturday afternoon.

 

(3) That night, JP and I went on a date! We ate our way up West 7th Street with nine rolls of sushi (cooked or veggie, so nobody yell at me, though I did totally have two sips of JP's beer because I have never craved anything so strongly in my life and it was draft Sapporo and it's very hard to say no to that, and I don't believe there is any chance of half an ounce of beer harming my "medium sized shrimp" fetus (side note: do you not love the food allusions in the babycenter updates? I swear they've gotten even better since my last time around)), a giant bowl of gelato, and a gianter bucket of popcorn while watching Iron Man 3. It was a most excellent evening, and much needed now that JP is working 100 hours a week at his exploding swim school (his goal was 30 swimmers; he's up to 75 and just hired 2 more instructors). He's been stretched pretty thin as he gets everything off on the right foot, and it was lovely to hang out for a few hours without children, QuickBooks, or waistbands on my clothes. 

What I wore; also, my submission for why I need a real floor mirror in my closet

(4) On Sunday, we visited my co-worker and the brand new tiny baby kitten his wife rescued outside JP's pool during her daughter's swim lesson.

 

Unlike my feet, my hands are normal sized. This kitten is actually that tiny and that ABSURDLY adorable.

Claire was in love. Aggressively in love.

 

I removed kitty to the safety of a basket, where he could be showered with kisses while avoiding her vice-like love grip.

 

(5) A post on books is coming as soon as I can write it, but I must share my joy in discovering The Roselynde Chronicles in the Kindle store! My sister and I LOVED those books when we were in middle school and high school and checked them out from the Harris County Public Library over and over again until the covers wore off. Unfortunately, the library never carried books 1 and 2, so we never knew how the medieval saga started. On a whim, in Houston's Hobby airport on Thursday evening when I was desperate for a new book to read for my 8th plane ride in 14 days, Roselynde popped into my head. And lo, there it was, for $5.78 in the kindle store. I downloaded it and Alinor immediately and texted my sister with a cryptic message that "I found Roselynde!" She texted back, "OMG, the FIRST BOOK?!" Siblings- who else can properly share your joy in rediscovering childhood memories? 

The books are just as good as I remember. If you like 12th century historical fiction/romance (heavy on the fiction, merely allusion-heavy on the romance), they are great fun.

(6) And finally, because this photo popped up on my iPhone photo roll and I'd totally forgotten I'd taken it, I offer you the ugliest painting of all time, from the hallowed halls of the University of Chicago law school. I had to pass under it every day to get to my locker and it is closely linked with my nightmares of 1L year. I could barely repress a shudder when I came across it again on reunion weekend.

 

With that, I wish you all a blessed evening