Best of Both Worlds Podcast Guest!

I started this post about 10 days ago, but the terrible events of Uvalde made it impossible to finish or publish so I set it to the side. And this weekend is The Big Move and today is Part 1: Delivery of the Pod, so I should really not be on the couch drinking tea and typing on my laptop while old Top Chef seasons play on the TV, but I was so honored to have been a guest (again!) on Sarah and Laura's podcast and I am proud of this interview and I want to share it before the rest of our insane summer kicks off and all I can post is Move! Dallas! Travel! Unpacking! Birthdays! Or Freaking Out Because I Have a HIGH-SCHOOLER Who Is Taking DRIVER'S ED This Summer!

(What in the actual F, I cannot be old enough for this. He's pretty awesome though, so we'll keep him.)

Also, today is Claire's 12th birthday!

12! We hosted her birthday pool party on Wednesday night (not awesome timing for this working mom, but it was the night that worked best for her friends and my "forcing my middle schooler to move" mom guilt meant I could deny her nothing) and there was flamingo decor, healthy fresh fruit, terrible snacks (all involved a radioactive orange powder), drinks, too many pizzas, ice cream cake, a selfie station wall, floats, and one million glow sticks.

It was a great time - she made friends with the sweetest group of girls this year and I know she is going to miss them so much.

But because she's Claire, she's facing this whole transition with her usual determined good cheer. A little scared, a lot brave, and even more hopeful optimism, I know she's going to do so great. But I'm also glad she got a night to celebrate and enjoy the friends she made here.

And then I got to get all sentimental comparing her last pool party in this house to her first pool party in this house.

2nd birthday to 12th. Man, we've made a lot of memories in this space. I feel like the best phase of our life was here - the babies and toddlers, giggles and games, and us being their whole world. It's been such a special decade and I have to stop typing about it because I'm getting terribly sentimental and I need to spend the day ruthlessly organizing and packing and not curled in a ball with my phone reviewing pictures of my chubby smiley toddlers.

(Sob. Second birthday!) Back to the point!

A couple weeks ago, I was interviewed by our Dr. Sarah Hart-Unger, of the SHU Box blog, on her podcast with Laura Vanderkam, Best of Both Worlds. I have been a fan of SHU for years and she's been reading me for at least ten, and I was a guest on the podcast back in 2018 when it was still pretty new. Back then we talked about why I was glad I pressed on with working in private practice when my kids were too young to remember because it opened the path to the SEC that was so wonderful for the phase of life I was in then.

And now, 4 years later, we talked about my job change back to private practice and what precipitated it. It was hard to revisit, but also healing, to know where I ended up, to know - to feel - how very happy I am now, and to see how this next chapter is being written. I love my job. I am fulfilled, challenged, valued, and excited every damn day. The kids and James are behind me - and were behind me every painful, nervous, scary step of the way.

We talked about how they supported me, how for better or worse they were witness to every step forward and step back, and how we're making this life work. And we talked about the biggest new addition to our lives, our amazing House Manager Becca. The podcast goes into the background of how I found out this position even exists thanks to an amazing female mentor in my life, an incredible attorney and even more incredible developer of legal business who I am lucky enough to call friend, and who was gracious and honest enough to sit me down before I started back at the firm and say, point blank, you need more help before you do this.

And while I know hiring a household employee is obviously a privilege afforded very few, and is something I could only do very recently, I think it's important as working women to talk with each other about how we make things work. That we know what the options are. That you know that, like every male partner I've ever worked with, I am NOT doing everything. And if you still are, to acknowledge that it is a LOT of work, that when I wrote out all the tasks I previously did for our house that I could offload to another, it resulted in a 10+ page list of tasks that constituted a full-time position for someone who has made running a household their job. And, importantly, I am still doing everything that matters to me. Everything that requires me- the person I am- the unique perspective I add as a wife and mother in this house, I am still offering all of that. I am in fact MORE able to offer that, without annoyance or exhaustion, and I am so so thankful.

Thankful to my mentor for telling me what a house manager is, because you can identify a problem and have the means to fix it without knowing what the actual solution is, and thankful to Becca for responding to my plea on Care.com and joining our family with an open heart, a new Lag Liv family binder complete with tabs, and spreadsheets (spreadsheets!). I get more into the details in the podcast, but essentially Becca does all the things that go into running and feeding a house and family. She does the shopping, errands, returns, Maggie spa days, and more. She preps dinner, preps fresh fruits and veggies to make lunches easy in the mornings, and maintains the stock of things in our pantry and bathrooms. From the biggest thing- making sure that we have dinner to sit together and eat every night, to the smallest thing- making sure every bathroom has toilet paper and every lightbulb works, it's all done without me thinking of or doing it. She sends me a potential meal plan on the Friday before the next week, and I write back with any notes or changes for the week ahead, along with any random tasks that have popped up that need to be handled. She makes her own hours, but generally covers 10-6, and it gives me a nice transition to come home to.

The position has taken a big chunk of my pay increase but she is also the reason this job change has worked for me and my family, that I have gotten to purely enjoy and revel in this new role, and that I have not for one moment worried about negative effects of my job on my family, and that is worth everything. Because once you take away all the mundane tasks that didn't actually need me to do them, I still have as much time, if not more, to do the things that matter and I'm very grateful for it.

The podcast is linked below, and with that, I'm off to pack! (And yes, Becca is transitioning with us to Dallas! We'll pay her for her time commuting and she'll see us through the summer and then we'll both reevaluate, but we're both hoping this is a long term relationship.)