On Mothers and Mentors

I have had an absolutely lovely Mother's Day.

I slept until I wanted to wake up (7:30 am, because I am old), went to a cardio sculpt yoga class (5 days in a row!! who I am I? Rebecca from 2017?) with my favorite teacher, and came home to the very sweetest decorated table.

The kids have a tradition of decorating the table for holidays and special ocasions, but they were flummoxed by our empty party decor drawers that we pre-packed for the move. Luckily, they got creative, and during their usual Sunday morning screentime, used a stack of printer paper and the one box of markers we left out and made me a beautiful table.

#YouAreMyFavoriteMom.

I thought I'd miss the sweet toddler art Landon produced for me in such volume years ago, but I must say, teen art is pretty fun too. As were the gift bags the kids dragged from the depths of the pantry for the occasion.

We went to a fancy brunch that included a balloon animal artist and live music.

Landon gifted me his balloon creation.

I wore my grandmother's 4-strand pearl bracelet, and dangly pearl earrings, and though her mind is often gone these days, I felt her with me, just like when I wear my Grandma Jo's ring. And my great-grandmother's engagement ring that was put on her finger by my besotted great-grandfather over 100 years ago. It has been so powerful to wear their jewelry and feel the continuation of their spirits with me. It's reminded me to buy the good jewelry (and use the good china, as both my grandmothers often did) and wear it and know that one day my daughter's will wear it and think of me when they do.

We enjoyed a delicious meal, with grapefruit mimosa, and then walked around the fancy shopping area. At every new store we walked into Landon would declare with a huge sigh that it was EXACTLY the same as all the previous stores. He had so much fun.

But they humor me.

We got home and opened presents. James got me two new pairs of Rothy's because "I looked in our closet and they seem to be your favorite thing."

Fact.

(Though I am quite taken with my new Birdies and may need a pair or two more. High heels are so pre-2020.)

And Cora's card made me laugh.

"I hope that when I grow up I will be just like you except for the job part."

"Oh you don't want a job?" I asked, my Type A perfectionist self immediately wondering if this was a subtle rebuke of my working mom status. "Of course," said Cora, "but not a LAWYER. You just type and read and talk. I want to be a vet and play with puppies."

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Working from home the last two years really took all the mystery and allure out of my job for the kids.

I've been thinking a lot this past week about how thankful I am for the amazing women and mentors in my life. I got the sweetest gift from a new contact, a forensic accountant I served on a panel with, and a note saying, "you are going to crush it." He helped set up meetings for me with contacts of his when I was in Chicago to build my referral network and I had the best aternoon walking around my favorite city, going from meeting to meeting, and talking to people who love what they do and are damn good at it. It was like vitamins to my legal and business development soul and the whole trip made me reflect on all the connections that brought me to the new ones I was making.

I had never met a lawyer before I applied to law school. I did some case clerking my last semester of college and got to know a few - one of whom is still a dear friend and mentor who I called as soon as I realized it was time to go back to private practice. But generally, I didn't know any lawyers or women who worked after having children. I grew up in a suburb way outside of Houston where moms stayed home or maybe had part time jobs they could do from home. Maybe a few were teachers, like my mom became later, but generally, the image of a working business woman was one I had from the Diane Keaton movie Baby Boom and she ended up going to the country and inventing gourmet baby food and I didn't see that path in my future.

And so I went to law school and enthusiastically attended any event where a lawyer would talk to me, especially a female lawyer. There are so many women who spoke at lunch events during my law school years who have NO idea the impression they left on me. Just hearing them talk about their practice, their firms, their lives... even if I didn't get many details, even if I never thought I'd be a BigLaw partner in Chicago, I absolutely soaked up their examples. Their proof that it could be done. At happy hours or other events, if I was lucky enough to speak one-on-one with someone, I'd follow up and ask if they could meet for coffee. And so many said yes! I thought I knew, but now I really know how absolutely precious every minute of their day was and they gave me 30 of them- a random 1L law student with wide eyes and lots of questions and I just feel so overwhelmingly thankful to them for doing so. And once I got to the firm, the women I saw- balancing, struggling, handling setbacks, cheering successes, building their lives and their practices- I learned from every one of them.

I've been blessed with many great mentors- men and women- and it's my goal to pay their time, knowledge, and relationships forward to others. Mentoring, and the ability to connect with law students, younger associates, and senior associates, is one of the things I've enjoyed most about going back to private practice. It's important to me to be a successful female partner in this space. Part of the reason we're moving is that how much I enjoy being back in the office- working directly with our associates, having them drop by the office, being present in our practice group, participating in social events, recruiting events, client events... I know I'm still in the honeymoon phase, but damn if I'm not enjoying every minute of it.

Happiest Mother's Day to all the moms, mentors, and caregivers out there. To mother is a verb, and a powerful one at that. I keep this photo on my dresser and though it's of me holding my sweet Cora, it stands in as the perfect image of how I felt holding each one of my babies, and how I still feel when I look at them in equal parts love and awe that they are mine.

I'm so lucky to be their mom and so thankful for the paths in my life that have allowed me to walk with them and with James, and to now forge this new one for me back at the firm, but with all of us together in it, with them at my back and by my side.

Nearly fifteen years into this mothering thing, and as we all sit on the couch together watching Thor (we're slowly working our way through the Marvel timeline), I love knowing that it just seems to get better.