Every night I go to bed with the intention of writing a real blog post the next day. But then I go to work and try to function there for my full 9 hours (or at least the majority of them, there is a period of time in the mid-afternoon that I fear will be lost to me until I have this baby), and then I pick up the kids, closing my eyes to rest at every stoplight and trying not to instantly say "no" when they ask to play at the park on the way out, and then we come home and I have to sit on the couch before counting down to when I really absolutely HAVE to start dinner, and then we eat and I find myself back on the couch while JP does dishes, baths, and the brushing of teeth, and then we read our books on the couch because it is simply too much to ask that I walk to their bedroom 20 yards away, and then JP refills my water and I turn on the TV or read for an hour or three before going to bed. I do okay during the day when I'm busy and distracted, but I am DONE after about 6 p.m., which unfortunately is about 2 hours earlier than I can possibly be done with my day. I do genuinely think that having 2 kids is a million times easier than having 1, but there's no doubt that pregnancy is easier when you don't have little ones who look to you for food and answers to life's great questions while you're busy gestating. I hate feeling so drained and tired and DONE in the evening, and I really can't imagine every evening being like this for the next 16 weeks, so I'm choosing to believe this is a growth spurt for the baby and my belly (which has, incidentally, doubled in size in the last 14 days, it's unreal) and I will soon be able to function again after sundown.
Which all a way of saying that growing a human is hard and I'm over it. If someone could please just give me credit for previous time served and hand me my baby girl, that would be great. Her absurdly cute organic patterned diapers are stacked on her dresser and she has a trio of ceramic birds on her shelf, so I think we've got the essentials covered. And my blog is suffering, surely developmental biology doesn't want to get in the way of that.
In other news, another tree limb fell from the sky this week:
It landed on our garage roof sometime between our Sunday backyard cookout and Monday morning when I walked out to my car to head to work. I snapped a picture, texted it to JP (who was still in bed), and pulled out of the driveway to head downtown. JP's initial, probably half-asleep response: "is that our garage?". No honey, I sent you a picture of someone else's garage at 7 a.m. for fun. He and his muscles managed to pull it off our surprisingly undamaged roof (I wouldn't have given the garage that much credit) and now it awaits the chipper on Friday when the long-scheduled tree trimmers come to give our trees a haircut that costs as much as the beautiful sideboard I'm not buying for our living room. Not that I'm bitter- I love our trees. Our giant oak makes my heart happy every time I drive up to our house and our backyard is a shady and comfortable oasis on even the hottest of Texas summer days. Iloveourtrees Iloveourtrees Iloveourtrees. I will be chanting that on Friday as I sign the trimming bill.
On the kid front, L & C seem to be doing fine raising themselves in the face of my exhaustion and general evening neglect.
If possible, I think Claire is even more impatient than me regarding her baby sister's arrival. Every day when I pick her up from school she asks when "Hawoween" will be here (because she knows the answer to the question, "Mommy when is the baby coming out?" is "After Halloween"). She lets me know multiple times a day that "I just really wish our baby was here Mommy" and "I just really wish I could hold our baby Mommy." She is full of plans for caring for the baby, and is pretty sure the baby is going to sleep in her bed (with her) when she is bigger.
Landon still thinks we should have a 4th baby, but only if we get another grown-up along with it. He says it like that's how he expects it would happen, but when asked, he wasn't clear on whether we'd be getting a sister-wife or a sister-husband. He was also appalled when I casually mentioned that he might one day have his own room, so now I'm thinking I can throw all three kids in the big room (just like camp!) and still keep my beautiful guest room after the baby graduates from her crib. I can dream anyway.
On Monday, I was sitting on the couch (of course) pretending to read through documents in preparation for the testimony I took on Tuesday (which I suppose could be another reason why I'm tired; even though testimony doesn't make me nervous anymore, it's still incredibly draining to ask someone questions about complex financial and accounting issues for 8 hours), Claire walked up to me, put her little hands on my cheeks, and said, with a great sigh and much wistfulness, Mommy, I just really wish I could have a baby elephant.
All throughout my testimony on Tuesday I would think of her voice and that moment and have to hold back a smile. That girl, she kills me.
And finally, my new dining room is nearly complete! JP hung my $10 Garden Ridge finds and hand-me-down 100 lb. mirror we got from my mom and I love it all so much!
I also love my bowl of balls and couldn't be more pleased with their $7 addition to a very expensive wedding gift we've never had a home for.
I've picked out curtains, but I'm having to stagger that purchase with the items we still need for the baby. I can be patient when waiting to start a project, but once I'm in, it's very hard not to go from 0-100% complete immediately, so not pressing checkout on that internet shopping cart is killing me. But, every time we sit down to eat at our big table just steps from the kitchen, with its empty chair just waiting for baby 3 to join us, I'm so very happy with our dining space. Even if dinner is tonight's masterpiece of mac and cheese for the kids and thai takeout for the adults. Last time around I don't think I stooped that low on the family dinner front until I was about 39 weeks pregnant, so it will be interesting to see where I can take it from here.
Are you kidding? I stoop that low regularly. ;) And I only have two! You're a rockstar.
ReplyDeleteDid you paint your dining room and if so do you remember what color it is? That seems like the perfect color I have been looking for in my kitchen.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for dinner...I dont have kids and your weekly dinners are so impressive to me!
We painted the dining/living room a few months after we moved in- it's Kelly Moore's Bird Bath Blue and I love it :).
DeleteAs for dinner- it's not that the actual meal was so bad (it was actually on the menu for Friday :), it's that I had all the ingredients to make a different meal, a meal that was easy and quick, and I even got all the ingredients out onto the counter before looking at them, sighing, putting them all back, and pulling out the blue Kraft box instead. That's a move I'd hoped to reserve until a few weeks (or months!) closer to my due date :).
I so feel your exhaustion. I soooooooooooooo feel it. I, too, am over my uselessness, and yet when it hits around 6:30, I'm all done. Done for the day. I'm impressed you can read for an hour or two - I open a book as soon as the kids are down and then it's lights out three seconds later. I really hate being tired like this - needing an epic nap after doing two loads of laundry - but I guess since this is my last baby, I can deal for a few more weeks. But misery loves company, so it's nice to know I'm not the only delicate flower spending every evening wilting on the couch and feeding her children Bob Evans pre-mashed potatoes and frozen chicken nuggets.
ReplyDeleteKids love the blue box! Use your compartmentalized plates... Mac n cheese in the largest section, then...
ReplyDeletesome of those frozen veggies (the veggies your kids enjoy) that steam in their own bag for section 2...
For section 3, slice a banana in half and add a drizzle of chocolate sauce (which I called "banana monkey" for my twins while pregnant with my 3rd,) a glass of milk and call it a well-rounded meal.
Change it up with all sorts of pasta, veggies and fruit. Need protein? Have ready in the refrigerator hard-boiled eggs or leftover cold grilled chicken slices (from when JP grilled on the weekend!).
You're doing great!
Desimom
Oh and...Even though we're a family of 5, we have a 6 seat dining table in our kitchen. When we all manage to eat together, it seems like that extra seat should be filled but we're just too old now. It's not too late for you!!!!!
ReplyDeleteD-mom
We had a tree fall on our old house and man, seeing your tree like that totally made my stomach drop! Glad everything is okay, and I hope your enegery returns soon(ish).
ReplyDeleteOne incredibly nice thing about having a 2-1/12 year-old and a 10 year-old when similarly pregnant is that one goes to bed fairly soon after I arrive home (7-ish) and the other one is awesome at fending for himself while I cook. Now the cooking, however, has gotten a lot less complex recently as my exhaustion has ramped up. Frozen cod, tilapia, etc. plus steamable veggies are a mainstay. Chicken breasts and stir-fry veggies? Also on call. And more takeout than I'd care to admit because some days the idea of standing up for one. more. minute. is too daunting to bear. Evening schoolwork is also kicking my exhausted ass. Weekend productivity has ramped into high gear to try to make up for it all (e.g., Sunday homework marathons and Sunday cooking sessions to stretch some things into the week). I am right there with you on the afternoon dead zone and have, sadly, turned to caffeine (green tea) to get me through. My brain just completely shuts off around 3/4. May we both speed through the remaining weeks!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the paint color name! I am about to close on my house and having lived in apartments for the last 10 years without the ability to paint walls I am a bit overwhelmed with the choices.
ReplyDelete