Not Operating Heavy Machinery

I've had a splitting headache for the past two days. SPLITTING. HEADACHE. (Shhhhh, no yelling.) As I was explaining to JP, I read a book where one of the main characters had a terrible headache and then suddenly he felt like his head split open and then he went blind and his headache went away. Last night around 3 a.m. when my headache was so bad it woke me up through the haze of a double dose of prescription sleeping pills (and the special prescription headache medicine), I wanted that to happen to me. In the light of day I'm glad I have my sight over a pain-free head, but Claire's exuberant morning bounce onto the bed nearly killed me. I left a message for my doctor and went into work. I don't have many sick hours left and I realized went I went home early yesterday that I don't feel any better being at home- lying down hurts about a million times more than sitting up, so I might as well be in my office.

Now I have Vicodin to take every 6 hours until the pain goes away and an appointment with a neurologist. Excellent, both of them.

My grandpa is doing better but not awesome. Out of the SICU, but still in the hospital; sitting in a chair and walking a little, but with assistance and still in pain. It's as good or better than the surgeon predicted, but it's still hard to think of him as he is now. We were supposed to go to San Antonio to spend Thanksgiving with them, but we now may wait until early December when he's feeling better. Which means we may be spending our first Thanksgiving on our own, in Fort Worth, just the four of us. Which means there's a good chance there will be all starch and veggie side dishes and desserts (and wine) and no turkey, which sounds pretty fantastic.

I'm headed to DC for work in 10 days and will be there over election night. I'm pretty super excited about this. I will also be wretchedly nervous, but this site makes me feel better (odds are currently 71 to 29, Obama). I LOVE LOOOOOOOVE politics and election season. I've never missed a debate and I get unreasonably annoyed when people complain about them. I mean, come on, we vote for President every four years, and three times during this once-every-four-year period the candidates get on the same stage and (sort of) debate each other. Yes there's rules and moderators and canned memorized statements, but still, it's leagues better than the commercials and op-eds. The actual candidates are actually talking back and forth! I've had them marked on my work and personal calendars since the schedule was announced and JP and I are riveted the whole time. We have to pause it every time we start debating among ourselves so that we don't miss anything we can debate or mock later (these days it's mostly mock; we seem to agree on pretty much everything except I'm somehow a straight ticket Democrat and he won't vote for a Democrat for President ever (or a Republican from the last 30 years, so at least we don't cancel each other out)). The point is, yay elections, yay America, yay being in DC for my favorite event every 4 years. Will be fun.

My headaches, and the fact that this one is so bad I can't read, type, or watch TV (until now anyway, on Vicodin #2), have made me spend a lot of time thinking and reconsidering certain lifestyle choices and how, if these are in fact just severe tension headaches, I can make them GO THE HELL AWAY. My thoughts include: regular massage (awesome, with a proven track record, but pricey), actually doing yoga and not just barre class (scary; I'm terrible at yoga; would also require significantly more self-discipline than I seem to have to make myself go (because, again, I'm terrible at yoga)); taking up another form of exercise and doing it regularly (see last entry); cutting out caffeine (I don't drink that much and none after noon, but still, maybe?); eating better (I don't eat badly, but I can definitely eat better, also less); try a lot harder to learn to meditate and then do it (a winning suggestion, though I'm better at yoga than meditating, which is a sad sad statement). Anything to enable me to nod again; all my conversations in the past two days have involved me staring straight ahead without expression, eye movement, or nodding in any way.

I finished Claire's photobook yesterday. I have carpal tunnel from moving 1200 photos and stickers and text boxes millimeters up and back to make the most perfectly perfect pages that I will read 16,000 times over the next few years and my children will probably throw in a box labeled "Stuff" when they go to college. But I love them. I need to start Landon's but feel I should wait until I'm not on hydrocodone. (Blogging though, seems to be a go.)

And with that, I'm off to bed with a hope and a prayer that I will wake up without whimpering. It's going to be a new day! A new day of productive work, eye movement, and head nods! Also, Friday!

(Vicodin!)