I am completely overwhelmed at work. So busy that even the usually comforting thought that I am in high demand is not at all dulling the edges of my sleeplessness and bloated time entries. So busy that I just wrote a whole paragraph about hating anyone currently living a life of leisure based on the wealth of others while secretly desperately wishing I was one of those people. Then I deleted that paragraph because it was stupid and self-pitying and working is simply what I do and I have a good job and I am grateful for it and one day I will have earned the right to live leisurely too and blah blah blah. I mention it only to show how far I've fallen, it has not been a great past 10 days. I also renewed my vow to kill my blackberry in a long and tortuous manner and chase it with a night of sleeping without a red message light haunting my dreams at 3 a.m. I look forward to that event, tentatively schedule for the day I finish paying off my law school loans.
Now, on to humorously bad pictures!
A few weeks ago we had a photographer come to our house to take family pictures. I wanted to update our family portrait from the one we took 6 days after I had Claire (puffy tummy alert) and to get some cute, casual shots of the kids as they were about to turn 4 and 1. We (unwisely) planned for these magical moments to be captured at 5:30 p.m., when the light turns softer and kids turn crankier. It went exactly as you might imagine- the entire CD of images is pretty much a roll of outtakes, with a few gems buried underneath. These are not the gems.
First, an attempt to recreate the family picture on mommy and daddy's bed.
This was the first shot and probably the best take.
Now, on to humorously bad pictures!
A few weeks ago we had a photographer come to our house to take family pictures. I wanted to update our family portrait from the one we took 6 days after I had Claire (puffy tummy alert) and to get some cute, casual shots of the kids as they were about to turn 4 and 1. We (unwisely) planned for these magical moments to be captured at 5:30 p.m., when the light turns softer and kids turn crankier. It went exactly as you might imagine- the entire CD of images is pretty much a roll of outtakes, with a few gems buried underneath. These are not the gems.
First, an attempt to recreate the family picture on mommy and daddy's bed.
This was the first shot and probably the best take.
(They love each other, really.)
Hmm, maybe a few shots upstairs in the kids rooms.
Claire: Why in the hell am I in my crib?! You haven't fed me dinner yet! I demand dinner!
Diabolical (yet cute) honey badger face.
Freakishly long baby legs.
Ooh, let's read a book. Claire loves books!
(Claire takes book reading seriously and won't look up from the prop)
Photographer: Maybe Landon can read her the book?
Landon: Okey dokie.
Claire: Wahhh, Landon took my book!
Landon: Pet the fuzzy page Claire. PET IT!
Moving it outside.
Almost a great shot, if only we could photoshop away her entire hand.
All the beautiful lighting in the world can't compensate for cranky children.
Attempt at capturing a tender moment between Mommy and Landon:
Landon: This sucks.
Mommy, upon seeing the blown-up picture: Holy crap, are those really my crows' feet?
Attempt at capturing a tender moment between Mommy and Clairebear.
Claire: You will get me dinner and you will do it now.
Attempt at capturing a tender moment between Daddy and Clairebear.
Claire: Alright, you, daddy man, YOU will get me dinner.
Last attempt at anything.
Claire: Camera Lady, GET ME DINNER.
Mommy (the only one still looking at the camera): Oh fuck it let's go get some tequila and queso.
Annnnnd that's a wrap (and we did go out for tequila and queso (and other food)).
I can't get all the pictures to show up on Chrome or IE. Noooo, I need to see the devolved pictures of Claire!!!
ReplyDeleteFixed! (I think.)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, those photos of Claire "demanding dinner" at the end made me laugh at loud. My coworkers think I've lost it. Ah, the joys of trying to get decent photographs of children :)
ReplyDeleteLove this! It's so nice to know I'm not the only one with 800 crap-tastic shots and 2 good ones (though I truly love the "crows feet" one). I figure these are the ones that will make us laugh, and it eases the pain a bit. Though tequila eases it a lot.
ReplyDeleteYay! Claire makes the best faces. I like her skeptical expression in the petting book picture.
ReplyDeleteLove it, I am cracking up at my desk pretending to figure out what has become a mess of a deposition calendar. Your post was the perfect distraction from my own currently bloated time entries.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! I love the honey badger face!
ReplyDeleteAnd JP and Claire are adorable in the 3rd "devolved" picture if you wanted to crop it down to the two of them.
I hope work lets you breathe soon!
The Claire/dinner captions win. LOL
ReplyDeleteHahahahah, awesome, thanks for the deep belly laughs.
ReplyDeleteHa! And people wonder why I don't have more pro pics of my kids. And the crows feet...we are the same age. I was putting on my make up (in the car, of course) and wow, doesn't all this nice Texas sun just light those damn things up!
ReplyDeleteThat tender moment between you and Claire is priceless (I would seriously recommend feeding her BTW) ... isn't this the same kid who I've only ever seen with the world's biggest open mouth smiles? Like ALWAYS??!!
ReplyDeleteLL, I hear you on the nonstop weeks! Hope work lets up enough to let you get some good shut-eye in soon. I work in hospital administration - totally different field but I relate to the nights of not enough sleep.
ReplyDeleteLove the pictures...just priceless. Tequila cures all ills.