This Time Around

I dislike belly pictures. Not because I dislike my belly (though I can't say we're close friends, it's more of a relationship built on tolerance), but because I hate posing for them. It feels so awkward- I don't know what to do with my head, my facial expression, my hands- really anything that isn't my belly. That, I know to point proudly sideways.

But here is one I made JP take in our kitchen yesterday. In retrospect I should have closed the laundry room door to make a nice white backdrop, pulled up my jeans, pulled down my sweater, and done something different with my facial expression. But nevertheless, the belly (which is measuring 24 weeks rather than 22) is better displayed than my last picture.

Also displayed are the boots I ordered last week after I got the most painful progesterone shot of my life. Aren't they pretty?

They're far more casual and Western-inspired than my usual footwear, but I think they'll look great with jeans and dresses, and JP loves them. As an added bonus my mom, who owns more boots than anyone, ever, suggested that she and my dad buy them as my birthday present, so yay! Free boots just for being born.

I'm also pleased to report that this week's shot didn't hurt nearly so bad as last time, so maybe having to spend 4 days recovering from the fire in my thigh was a fluke. And/or maybe it's just worse when I get the shot on my right side because of all the torn cartilage and scar tissue I have in there from my hip surgery? Who knows, but I'm glad this one was better because it was going to get expensive if I had to buy myself a present every time my leg is set on fire -- I have 14 more shots to go.

It's been interesting being pregnant the second time around. As it turns out, I don't remember much from my first pregnancy. I was pretty busy with law school and didn't know anyone else who was pregnant, so I had no one with which to fixate on the experience. I do remember being far more focused on the baby and its development. I loved the babycenter updates and would google my gestational age on a regular basis just to read more articles about what the baby was doing. This time I'm more focused on me and my changes. I enjoy the updates on the baby, mostly because I love seeing what type of produce is in my belly (this week I'm carrying a "large mango"), but I haven't opened up any of my previously purchased baby books or done much googling. I'm content to let her grow and just look forward to meeting her in about 4 months.

But when I felt a cramping and continuous dull ache in my lower abdomen last week, I immediately called my perinatal NP to check on it. Last time I'm certain I would have treated like I do any other random pain or potential medical problem and ignored it. (Like when JP's lung spontaneously collapsed in college and he grabbed his chest and said it hurt and his loving, caring, pre-med girlfriend told him he was fine and a hypochondriac and then the next day he was rushed into surgery because his lung had almost entirely deflated -- yeah sometimes it's actually not fine.) I think this new focus on my body is a positive thing for this pregnancy, but I do hate feeling so jumpy.

The other reason I think I'm less breathless with anticipation about baby's every gestational development is that I have this little guy running around outside my womb (in his adorable Weasley sweater my super talented friend knitted for him):

I'm very excited to meet and care for our baby girl, but I can wait. Last time I was so impatient for that big jump to being someone's mother, but now I'm already there, and I can soak up and appreciate this time spent in between one and two children.

At least until I'm huge and it's 100 degrees and I just need to not be pregnant anymore. Then I can't promise I'll be patient at all.