We're three days in and my week has been so bad I called in for narcotics.
It's not quite like it sounds. I have a medical need. On Monday afternoon I started getting a headache. And by "started getting a headache" I mean sharp pains started shooting around in my forehead. I've had frequent, terrible headaches since 9th grade, so I just took some tylenol and tried to ignore it. By that night the ache had settled in the back of my head and was so painful I could barely blink or move. I woke up Tuesday morning with the same pain, but worked through it all day by taking tylenol and telling myself it was helping. Last night it was so bad I started to get scared. This morning it was still there so I gave in and called my doctor. She was concerned and prescribed two Vicodin and told me to go home to bed, and if I don't sleep it off, I am to come in to the office tomorrow morning for testing.
While I've been battling this horrific headache, we found out that JP's car needs $3,000 worth of repairs. Since it's worth only $3,500, and will probably just keep needing more repairs, we've resigned ourselves to replacing it- we might as well put that $3,000 towards a few months of car payments. I am extremely unhappy about this sudden unplanned expense, and maybe even more unhappy about spending my one weekend at home pre-Christmas and pre-inlaws at various car dealerships. I should be excited about one of us owning a car that was made in the last decade, but the truth is I couldn't care less about the model or age of our cars, I just want them to run, and I would so much rather direct that monthly payment to my loans or our retirement accounts. In fact the whole idea of picking out and paying for a car at the last minute is too stressful for me to think about right now, so we'll move on to the next thing.
JP's partnership is still winding up and it remains painful and fury-inducing to watch. It is also deeply disappointing to see someone I thought was a friend turn into someone I want nothing to do with. It is sad to me that Landon will soon forget about someone he used to call uncle. And most of all it hurts to watch JP do the work to dismantle his dream.
Work is fine, but extremely busy and my leaving at 2 p.m. today to hide in bed is not helping. My personal to-do list is completely out of control thanks to hosting Christmas and being away for the last two weekends, though at least a lot of those items are things I would like to have done and not things that must be done. My work tasks are not so optional and stress is going to set in if I don't get started on some of them soon.
My in-laws arrive in 6 days (and are staying for 8) and I feel too emotionally raw to handle it. This week has just so thoroughly sucked and my head has hurt so badly without a break- I was even aware of the pain as I slept.
This might be my worst blog post ever and I'm sorry, I'm just down. I'm rarely down and I don't like it. My parents never tolerated self-pity and I was raised to always, always see the positive, or if there is truly none, to have hope and work towards changing the situation. Maybe if this Vicodin and a good night's sleep do their magic, I can start thinking that way tomorrow.
Hi Lag Liv...Have you tried extra hydration? Sometimes, esp when pregnant, lack of hydration comes out in the form of headaches.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I learned in business school is that after October, this year's model cars are considered "used cars" and are baggage for car dealerships In this economy, you should be able to cut yourself a deal.
I'm a fan. I love your blog. I have two boys close in age when I was in the beginning of my management consultant career...I got through it and even romanticize the days you are experiencing now.
Alice
Hi LL, I read your blog a lot and I really admire that you usually are very upbeat. I am sorry to hear about all these negative things going on at the same time right now. One thing I thought of - is it possible for your husband to find another business partner who's willing to jump in now and help save the business and see it through, rather than let it fall apart? What a shame, after all that hard work he's put into it thus far. I don't know the specifics of the situation or setup, but that's the first thing that crossed my mind.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, you'll get through this rough week!
I wanted to share an in law trick that helped me when newly married. I just treated that like clients I really loved. I tried to edit/choose my words carefully and I managed their expectations, tried not to personalize their displeasure. Since I am a management consultant, it was an easy analogy!!! As a lawyer, I'm sure you are supberb with the client. It's helped...It especially helped me feel more objective when negative or stressful situations occurred.
ReplyDeleteAlice
I am so sorry hon. It sucks to be hurting on top of being pregnant. Hopefully it will turn out to be nothing but it is good to go ahead and get checked out. I think this crazy cold/warm weather is messing with everyone. Make sure to drink lots of water. When my head really hurts I make my husband rub it especially around the area right above my nose where the sinuses hurt. You will get through this.
ReplyDeleteI'm just heading to bed, but thanks to both of you for the notes. To Alice, I've been extra vigilant about drinking in the past few days as JP is convinced that nothing cannot be cured by some Powerade and lots of water. It doesn't seem to be making a difference other than sending me to the bathroom more. Last time I was pregnant I did three months of physical therapy for my headaches and that helped. I need to dig out my booklet of stretches. And the only silver lining about JP's car crapping out is that it did it in December when we can look at the '08s and '09s the dealers all want to get off their lots. I do see the good in that.
ReplyDeleteAnd to Anon, unfortunately I can't get into the details of JP's business since many people who know both parties read this blog, but it won't be possible for him to continue on with someone else. In fact, one of the more infuriating details to come out of all this is that his partner will be continuing on with the business himself after this form is dissolved. It is named after him and his swimming fame had a big part in getting it started (JP did all the work, he just had the contacts), so he can continue it without JP. JP can't continue it without him. Sucks. Sucks very much.
Hang in there. Life really sucks sometimes, especially when it all feels so overwhelming. Good luck with the headaches, the car, and especially the in-laws. When I get in the everything/everybody/life sucks place, I try to remember that without times like these I wouldn't realize when the good times were happening.
ReplyDeleteWhat a horrible, horrible day/week. I hope you feel totally back to normal when you wake up, get started on those stretches!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not sure there is any "bright side" or "silver lining" to the whole JP business thing yet, but if you believe at all in karma or getting what you deserve, maybe you can find reassurance that good things will come JP's way soon ;)
I am so sorry. That sounds like the wosr kind of headache. My friend who got them when pregnant said accupuncture helped.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. You'll make it through the next few weeks. You will. Things will be better once the holidays pass, the car is bought, the inlaws are gone, and the business partner is finally out of your lives. Then you can take a deep breath ... and pass out!
Also: I've decided to see every captcha as a name suggestion for you. How does
Michia sound? or Suract?
ReplyDeleteif i had money, i would buy you a proper pregnancy massage for christmas. since i don't, i will hope that someone else will read this comment and buy you one.
ReplyDeleteand in the meantime, i will send lots of pain-free, relaxing, happy thoughts your way, friend.
:( I am very sorry to hear all this ... I sincerely hope you're feeling better very soon, and I hope things work out for JP sooner rather than later. New year, new start? (wishful thinking)
ReplyDeleteI really hope you feel better and that everything falls into place nicely for you! christmas shouldn't be as stressful as it inevitably ends up being!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! It's ok, sweetie, to be stressed at the holidays! With inlaws visiting for almost two weeks - I'm stressed just reading it.
ReplyDeleteAnd, frankly, with being pregnant and working and having a toddler, I've pared my to-do list down to (1) get out of bed, and (2) eat! People will understand if you dont handmake gifts, or do whatever.
I hope your headache goes away asap. How do you do with vicodin? i get awful nightmares on it - had it after i gave birth and it was terrible!
Yuck. What an awful week! Come on Vicodin.
ReplyDeleteCan you stage a plumbing mishap and ask the inlaws to stay in a hotel?
Hang in there. I can't imagine the discomfort of pregnancy multiplied by a crushing headache.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself. And hopefully JP can really step in with the in-laws for you; you don't need anything else on your stress plate right now.
J
Obviously the headaches are anticipation of 8 days of in-laws. Ick. Feel better. I hope the Vicodin makes it all go away!
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of headaches that bad with pregnancy but if you had them last some still around ...
ReplyDeleteStill I was wondering if you ever get migraines? Technically, your headaches don't really sound like migraines (not one sided and you never mentioned nauseau or vomitting) but still, I know that just because they're not one-sided doesn't mean they can't be migraines. Anyway, I take Fiornal for mine. It's a very old drug and I doubt a dr would think to offer it to you. But the new ones don't touch my headaches. You can get it with or without codiene and although I took it with codiene for years, I finally discovered that I didn't need the codiene to get rid of the headaches. So if the Vicodin doesn't work ...
Hope you're feeling much better soon.
I'm sorry. :( I hope the migraines are resolved soon. I'm sorry also about the continued dissolution of JP's business.
ReplyDeleteMy word of advice on the car thing: Make sure you get a good sized car. We ended up getting two new cars in the past three years. Both of them only fit two carseats. Now, we have to trade in one of those cars for another with a third row seat since baby #3 is on the way and my two older kids need carseats/boosters. Even before we found out about #3, whenever we had out of town guests, we automatically had to take two cars everywhere because an adult could not fit between the two carseats in the back seat. It would have been much smarter to have gotten a big enough car to begin with. I don't know if your car can fit three carseats or even 2 carseats + 3 adults, but it is something to think about.
I am so, so sorry you are having a rough time. It sounds stressful enough and then add in-laws and holidays in the mix and everyone would be (and probably is also) overwhelmed. I second getting a giant car-- not only are our Camrys too small for a back-seat guest (except for me, and I HATE sitting back there), we'd like to smoosh another car seat in our car someday.
ReplyDeleteLL, I hope you wake up feeling refreshed and hopeful and full of energy. Peace and good thoughts (and a good deal on a new car)!
ReplyDeleteOh LL, hang in there. I was 3 months pregnant at Christmas last year, and it was hard. On the bright side, you can always use the pregnancy as a reason to escape to the bedroom for a nap or some downtime while the inlaws watch Landon. :-)
ReplyDeleteHave you considered going to a chiropractor? I had headaches during pregnancy too and getting adjusted really helped. Everyone else's suggestions are good, too.
I know it's stressful for JP and you right now, and I will be thinking about y'all. For someone as smart and enterprising as JP, he will not be on the market for long, I promise! My husband lost his job due to relocation of the company and it was a pretty acrimonious split. He's still looking for a new job now, but I'm hopeful something will come through soon. I have a feeling that JP is the same way...he's great at what he does and it will pay off soon. :-)
Hang in there and take care of yourself! I'm a faithful reader and it's okay to be down sometimes!
I hope things are better by now. It sounds like a miserable few days!
ReplyDeleteOh my, what a time for you, huh? I have no pregnancy advice or inlaw advice or car advice or headache advice. I just hope you're able to get the rest you need and some relief from stress and pain soon.
ReplyDeleteI had migraines at the same place in two pregnancies-- the barfing kind. B-6 helps, or at least it distracts you (it made me itch) but now there is a better kind!
ReplyDeleteI strongly recommend Budget car sales (yes, slightly used rental cars) which we have used TWICE for pre-Christmas, pre Orlando trip emergency car purchases. I am drivng a '98 Sentra and DH has a '95 windstar van that both are fine (I wish they were newer, but...) They come with full service records, they don't sell the ones that have been in accidents, and they refused to sell me one that just needed a new fuse. No haggling; no need to shop around. And you can shop from home! Our credit union even lets us take them home and come in later to do the paperwork. (No, I don't work for any of these people!)
Take care; shed what you can. Send New Years cards. This is Landon's first real Christmas-- enjoy. He won't care if you serve hot dogs! Let everyone focus on enjoying him. (Of course, I say this, ready for bed myself, but needing to make and wrap 8 food gifts tonight....)
i have been reading your blog for a year now and am always impressed by the amount of things you get down. Working full-time, mothering, redecorating, yardwork, brunch-hosting- it's awe-inspiring. That being said, you don't have to do all that stuff. Take it from a far lazier person: Christmas will be wonderful without the baking and the extra gifts, etc. It will be great, because Landon will have a ball. Take care.
ReplyDelete