Things

Sorry for the absence. I always wonder if in the blogging world absence makes the heart go fonder- or does it just make people lose interest?

To catch you up, I caught an early flight home from Houston on Friday and spent a delightful afternoon with Landon. The way he ran at me when he saw me on the daycare playground and then jumped up to give me a huge hug made me forgive him for trying to kill me during his first year of life. Not that I was really mad at him, but it still felt good be reminded for the millionth time that the nights of non-stop crying are all so worth it. Especially since we're going to embark on that madness for a second time.

Saturday involved two toddler birthday parties. JP was coaching and studying all day so I had to handle the three cupcake, zero nap situation by myself. Landon did surprisingly well- I love watching him with other kids, but as always, we missed having JP with us.

On Sunday the three of us headed out for a family trip to the San Antonio zoo. We met my grandparents for breakfast beforehand and then met a friend and her 10-month-old at the zoo gates. We arrived in the midst of a downpour, but managed to have a great time anyway. Landon never stopped moving- as evidenced by this picture in front of a giant hippo:

He looooooved the zoo. We had to keep circling back to the "mangoes" (read: flamingos) and he became good friends with the Komodo dragon in the reptile house during the worst of the rain. He was very concerned that the dragon wasn't drinking his water and Landon kept pleading, "Dink dragon dink!" The monkeys were hopped up on something (I think the rain makes them frisky) and they were a blast to watch- Landon was jumping up and down by their habitats and screaming. My favorite part was when we got to the rhino area Landon randomly said, "Mama, I was to KISS it!" I have no idea where that came from, but it cracked me up. I told him he could blow the rhino a kiss and he did.

I was going to write about all of this on Sunday, but I was struck down with the worst headache I've ever had in my life- and that's really saying something. I ended up in bed moaning for three hours and eventually knocked myself out with a sleeping pill in an attempt to escape from the knives of pain in my head. I ended up in physical therapy for headaches the last time I was pregnant- I should probably try to find my book of stretches.

But the real thing on my mind right now- and the thing I'm struggling to write about- is JP's company. He got some very bad business news last night- one of his three partners is backing out. The name goes with him, so the thousands of dollars of advertising, brochures, shirts, caps, and other memorabilia are all worthless. It sucks, but mostly I was amazed at how overwhelmingly sad I am that the big idea they talked about it our living room ended like this. I'll admit that on the bad days when JP was coaching late and had a ton of schoolwork and I was exhausted and Landon was fussy, I secretly wished the swim school would just go away. But I really did believe in it and was excited about it and it hurt for that dream we sacrificed for to go away so suddenly. JP didn't do on campus interviews so now we're looking at a graduation in May with no job, no swim school, and another $40,000 in loans coming due. And then I start to get mad and anxious.

JP is taking it much better than I am. Since his marriage to me- the dream crusher and love of his life- he's let go of many a business idea. I, on the other hand, don't dream about things outside of a lock-step career path, so I've never had one crushed. I was so down last night I freaked out a whole bunch of people via facebook (sorry about that- baby 2.0 and I are just fine). But my husband the entrepreneurial optimist just sees the dream as crumpled, not crushed. He already has plans to continue on in a different form, assuming he can get pool space without the name-partner. It's going to be a hell of a Spring- with JP's final semester and potentially running a swim school by himself during the busy season, and me having a huge three-week trial in April and expecting a baby in early June.

But I'll worry about the particulars of all that later. For now I'm going to be sad and mourn the loss of the first business idea I believed in (and a huge reason I was able to believe was because of the particular people involved, not just the idea itself) while eating E.L. Fudge cookies and watching a bunch of skinny, fit people bounce around the stage on So You Think You Can Dance. Cause that's sure to perk me right up.