I Need a Pause Button

I attended my first evening recruiting event last night and although I had fun and it was good to laugh and talk with co-workers and summer associates, I missed Landon like crazy. Once again it just amazes me how sharp the drop-off is between me being okay with my schedule and separation from Landon to desperately wanting to stay home this morning just to play with him and soak up his funny, frustrating, snuggly self. I miss dinner with him usually no more than once a month (and so far, never because of mandatory work, usually it's a firm social event of some kind) and it's so hard each time- if not that night, definitely that next morning. It doesn't help that I got a ton of Landon time over the last week with Memorial Day, taking Wednesday off, and leaving early Friday, so I felt like I was going through withdrawal. My goodness I love that little man.

I uploaded these pictures into blogger a few weeks ago. I was marveling at how much he's changed in the nearly 23 months that he's dominated my life, stolen my sleep, and wrapped me oh-so-tightly around his chubby little finger.

And now they just make me want to sneak out of my office and break him out of daycare, which would probably make him mad because he doesn't like to be picked up before snack time and he has a music class at 3 pm that he loves. I suppose it's best that I'm crazy busy (I'm eating a very late lunch over my keyboard as I type because my brain requires some kind of break from the madness all over my desk) and this afternoon is going to fly by. It'll be 5:30 before I know it and Landon and I have big plans to visit our favorite park and then water all the trees in our backyard. Usually he only succeeds in watering his shoes, but the chore makes him feel very important.

I like my job everday and love it some days, but I require my time with Landon. Interestingly, Landon, with his fondness for the roof over his head, shirts with buses on them, and fresh fruit and other food products, requires that his mama has a job. Most days this all works out just fine and I'm lucky to work at a firm that doesn't care that I leave by 6 every day, but there's always a bit of tension between my roles as mom and attorney and it's hard to have them out of balance for even one night.