Our Last Day

This is Landon and my last weekday together before school starts. Beginning Monday my days will no longer just be about playing with him and trying to squeeze in some housework while he's sleeping- there will be reading to do, a paper to write, and the MPRE to study for. I'm mostly excited for school to begin. I've missed adult conversation, intellectual stimulation, and having a reason to get dressed and leave the apartment. But I'm a little sad- from now on I'll be a working mother. Whether it's being a student, studying for the bar, or being a lawyer- there's always going to be something else dictating my schedule beyond Landon's wants and needs.

People keep telling me how they cried all the way to work the first day they dropped their baby off at daycare. They look at me expectantly to echo the same feelings, but honestly, I think I'll be fine. He's looking at me wide-eyed and adorable from his swing right now and I have no doubt that I'll miss him, but I know he will be held, fed, and loved at the little in-home daycare we found for him. And I know we'll be happy to see each other when I pick him up in the afternoon. I think it would be more traumatic if I were dropping him off on my way to a full-time job with little control over my schedule, but I know that I can go pick him up anytime after 12:05. We'll see how I actually do, but right now I'm more reflective and thoughtful than sad at the thought of putting him into someone else's arms for a few hours a day so that I can continue down my career path.