tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post2917204049340227393..comments2024-03-27T12:22:20.528-05:00Comments on Lag Liv: Ice Cream and Having it AllLLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04431706155081017734noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-15698780050114685252008-08-21T23:13:00.000-05:002008-08-21T23:13:00.000-05:00Very good point about being an example to our sons...Very good point about being an example to our sons! i think there are multiple ways to do this, but I think you're absolutely right in that the examples that we set for them are going to be extremely influential in how they treat, and what they expect from, the women in our lives. I want my son to be a feminist too.<BR/><BR/>Do I feel sad that I'm going back to work? Yes, but I don't feel conflicted about it...maybe conflicted about my job, but not about wanting to work doing something...<BR/><BR/>Love Landon rocking out with his walker too! Very cute.grasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14698876482945831719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-26932906664873151532008-08-21T15:42:00.000-05:002008-08-21T15:42:00.000-05:00I have to disagree. 1st of all you seem to have so...I have to disagree. 1st of all you seem to have some underlying guilt about all this just based on your writings. If your heart is telling you something else, maybe you should follow it. The reassurance your looking for should not come from a blog.<BR/> 2nd I firmly believe this is the most important time in your kids life, what they will become is sewn early. Do you want some daycare minmum wage worker being the primary influence in his life. They will spend more time and have more contact with your child in 1 day then you will in 1 week. <BR/> Being a 1st year lawyer is tough... long hours.. late nights and lots of homework. Think long and hard about whats more important for you and him. This is a lifelong decsion, everything he will become rests on it. Choose wisely.wonder2000https://www.blogger.com/profile/03826370382269703452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-13203850370737942172008-08-20T20:55:00.000-05:002008-08-20T20:55:00.000-05:00I come back to your blog again and again because o...I come back to your blog again and again because of the quality of your writing. This post, as well as the time and thought that went into it, is exceptional. Your recognition that you are not your mother, and therefore it is normal and healthy for your household to operate differently than your childhood home, is so eloquently presented. Thank you for writing.<BR/><BR/>I am starting law school this week as a very nontrad career switcher. Pray for me!Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17715394274558907079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-25970223836098471892008-08-20T11:12:00.000-05:002008-08-20T11:12:00.000-05:00Of course some women feel conflicted, I would gues...Of course some women feel conflicted, I would guess a majority do. My biggest internal conflict has been coming to terms with the fact that I don't. I think no matter which path you take there will be days when you question it and days when you wish things could be different. I'm certain I will have days when it hurts to drop Landon off at daycare, just like if I stayed home there would be days when I wished there was a daycare to take him. The path is never perfect, I'm just thankful to know which one is the best for me.<BR/><BR/>And I agree that "having it all" is a ridiculous phrase. It's just the one generally used for these discussions and something short to put in the title. Everything you do in life involves choices, sacrifices, and priorities. I may have a great career and relationship with my children, but my house will probably never be as organized as I'd like and I will be out of shape with a squishy stomach. Absolutely no one can have it all, but I think (hope) that most of the time you can have what is most important to you.LLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04431706155081017734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-38371029590588990982008-08-20T11:00:00.000-05:002008-08-20T11:00:00.000-05:00As Hanah's comment reflects, some women have confl...As Hanah's comment reflects, some women have conflicting emotions on this topic and it's not so black-and-white. I also agree with Gabrielle - you can't have it all. I wish I could work and, yet, not be away from my daughter. But that's not possible. How I am going to reconcile my emotions is still a dilemma.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-55259274367084592852008-08-20T08:54:00.000-05:002008-08-20T08:54:00.000-05:00It's nice to see someone who's honest about not wa...It's nice to see someone who's honest about not wanting to stay at home with their children. Women shouldn't have to feel guilty about pursuing a career. I think society makes us feel guilty about it, but if you don't feel that staying home is the right thing for you then you shouldn't. Langdon would grow up feeling neglected or unhappy if you forced yourself to stay at home with him when you wanted to pursue a career. I think you're making the right choice for you.Downsized Attorneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16351328484511626674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-14318540146607067582008-08-20T08:20:00.000-05:002008-08-20T08:20:00.000-05:00This really resonates with me. I had to learn it t...This really resonates with me. I had to learn it the hard way, meaning that I didn't, at first, want to go back to work. However, with my second I was ready, and I feel so much better balanced, a better mommy, with work in my life.<BR/><BR/>I think you are going to love being a career mom, and Landon is going to be so, so proud to claim you as his. :)el-e-ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11197637829851361357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-20661980968661025462008-08-20T08:18:00.001-05:002008-08-20T08:18:00.001-05:00I agree with Becca. If you aren't going to be hap...I agree with Becca. If you aren't going to be happy/relaxed at home, it isn't what is best for Landon. If you find after a few years of working that it isn't working, you can always change - work part time or not at all.AJU5's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05039236630636069326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-50976709796407999472008-08-20T08:18:00.000-05:002008-08-20T08:18:00.000-05:00Amen, sister. I am so with you. It is just not in ...Amen, sister. I am so with you. It is just not in my blood to be a stay-at-home mom -- as much as I love my son, I need to do something of my own, outside the home, to feel fulfilled. And I agree with you that it's good for our kids to see that both Mommy and Daddy can go to work, change diapers, do the dishes, play sports, and everything else. <BR/><BR/>My mom always worked full-time, leaving home around 7 a.m. and returning around 6 p.m. each day, and I never felt the least bit neglected, so I think I'm less conflicted about it than I would be otherwise. In fact, I was always really proud of her -- she's an electrical engineer and had to make her way as an immigrant and a woman in a heavily male-dominated field, and she loves her career and has succeeded in it. I think my career aspirations are heavily informed by watching her, and seeing that it's possible to have a job you love.CMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01559451322234777335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-26078193103887861052008-08-20T07:53:00.000-05:002008-08-20T07:53:00.000-05:00The "having it all" thing has always bothered me a...The "having it all" thing has always bothered me a bit. It is certainly empowering to hear from a young age that you can be anything you want to be, but it's somewhat misleading. There are some things you won't be able to become, no matter how hard you try (due to lack of aptitude/resources/whatever), and you can't excel at all of the things you CAN be all of the time (which is to say that you can aspire to be ballarina/rocket scientist/brain surgeon when you grow up, but you can't realistically expect to be all of those things at the same time). To me, "having it all" is really about knowing which parts of "it all" matter most to you, prioritizing accordingly and letting go of (or getting help with) the rest. It sounds like you are well on your way to figuring out which parts of "it all" matter most to you.Gabriellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15636865565708016522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-78780046052760006822008-08-20T04:34:00.000-05:002008-08-20T04:34:00.000-05:00You are so lucky to have strong feelings about thi...You are so lucky to have strong feelings about this and a firm decision. I take one look at my week-old baby and am racked with guilt and doubt about the subject. Your reasoning makes good sense and I'm glad it works for you, but I am definitely feeling the stay-home urge.Hanahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16292032945649981019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-69507821840518023742008-08-19T22:43:00.000-05:002008-08-19T22:43:00.000-05:00A happy and fufilled Mama is a good Momma. I'm gla...A happy and fufilled Mama is a good Momma. I'm glad you have this time to spend with him. I think you just have to do what is right for you. Someday if you decide staying home is right for you then do it but I don't believe in doing something if your heart isn't in it.Someone Being Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08984828094257765105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-85886976671321806032008-08-19T22:26:00.000-05:002008-08-19T22:26:00.000-05:00You are going to do great! Charlie has always thr...You are going to do great! Charlie has always thrived in day care and you said it yourself in another post--Landon loves being with other children. You and JP are excellent role models and it sounds like you will continue to have a balanced, enjoyable family life throughout Landon's life. Enjoy the vanilla bean...yum!Beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05156777853779141522noreply@blogger.com