tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post2591069809743350522..comments2024-03-27T12:22:20.528-05:00Comments on Lag Liv: The Marriage v. The Baby CarriageLLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04431706155081017734noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-27097399654890808042010-09-15T11:50:20.365-05:002010-09-15T11:50:20.365-05:00niceniceAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-83911262534684309642009-01-18T20:46:00.000-06:002009-01-18T20:46:00.000-06:00totally unrelated but I just moved sites and updat...totally unrelated but I just moved sites and updated my links and linked to you.jodifurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02436403330073542241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-58574140722321410522009-01-12T20:10:00.000-06:002009-01-12T20:10:00.000-06:00I agree with you 100%.I wonder if the people who s...I agree with you 100%.<BR/>I wonder if the people who say parenting is easier either have some sort of natural knack and love for the actual act of parenting, and not just love for their kids, and/or if they are less likely to view marriage as a partnership of two individuals and more as needing to fill a certain role well.CMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01559451322234777335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-56338384190926647282009-01-12T13:37:00.000-06:002009-01-12T13:37:00.000-06:00Wow, I'm almost questioning my marriage. Parentho...Wow, I'm almost questioning my marriage. Parenthood has been so much easier than marriage. And, when I think about it, the only difficult things about parenting is when my husband's personality comes out in my daughter. Hmmm... But then, I have ALWAYS been a baby person, and have a degree in Early Childhood Education and Child Psychology. I was single for 6 years prior to meeting my husband. So, to me, parenting becomes much more natural. It's much easier for me to love my child unconditionally than it is my husband.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-55045018421400836182009-01-11T19:44:00.000-06:002009-01-11T19:44:00.000-06:00Sometimes marriage and parenthood are the same thi...Sometimes marriage and parenthood are the same thing. :D<BR/><BR/>Parenthood is definitely more exhausting. I was up at 4:30 this morning being SCREAMED at, I feel your pain. Whew!Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11173655298262399906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-90840497535185501302009-01-11T17:12:00.000-06:002009-01-11T17:12:00.000-06:00I completely agree. Everyone told me how hard mar...I completely agree. Everyone told me how hard marriage would be and it was so much easier than parenting. But I will say that marriage was made harder by parenting. Had I realized, I would have discussed our views on how to raise a child before marriage.MJVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02952769418216773279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-79639421456088687562009-01-10T21:42:00.000-06:002009-01-10T21:42:00.000-06:00Wow - I'm in the VAST minority! I think it's becau...Wow - I'm in the VAST minority! I think it's because I got married at 37 that I find marriage SO much harder than parenthood. Marriage challenges me, constantly. We each have our own ways of doing things, we know what we like and how we like it. We are often tired (well, it's true!) and have little patience for one another. Parenthood, on the other hand, has been MUCH easier for me. My first child was the easy, easy dream child - and I truly felt as if I was finally doing the thing I'd been born to do. My second was (and is!) so, so, so hard... and yet still, I find parenting her to be easier than marriage, on the whole. I feel as if I'm in tune with my kids in ways I may never be in tune with my husband (again, maybe because we were both so fully developed, when we met and married?). I'm not sure how to explain this. Just that parenting is easier.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-65170114807939156992009-01-10T08:51:00.000-06:002009-01-10T08:51:00.000-06:00For me, marriage is harder than motherhood. Howev...For me, marriage is harder than motherhood. However, my kids' needs are pretty simple right now. I sorta dread all the grade school and high school stuff to come.Cagey (Kelli Oliver George)https://www.blogger.com/profile/13691589813815058981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-35841330259520941182009-01-09T21:29:00.000-06:002009-01-09T21:29:00.000-06:00So, I think I kind of have to say "motherhood" by ...So, I think I kind of have to say "motherhood" by default, since I've been married for 8 years and don't find it hard (we were together for 8 years before that), and I find motherhood so daunting that I don't intend to do it!<BR/><BR/>I'm a little shocked that so many people would say marriage is harder, but then, if parenthood seemed so much more difficult, I guess the species wouldn't survive very easily!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-43077448365328667172009-01-09T21:22:00.000-06:002009-01-09T21:22:00.000-06:00it's great that marriage has come so easily to you...it's great that marriage has come so easily to you! i didn't think that was common- i think motherhood is harder right now but i can;t predict whether that will always be the case. so many people get divorced...but you can never really renounce your children (well you could i guess)... i wonder how i would answer this during one of mt "fights" with my husband, but right now all i can think about is how sleep deprived i am as a mother.CPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09049860284871030328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-70421514700645736812009-01-09T19:25:00.000-06:002009-01-09T19:25:00.000-06:00Great post, Lag Liv. I'm not sure that I 100% agre...Great post, Lag Liv. I'm not sure that I 100% agree with you, but great post. And I really, truly hope that you feel that way for the rest of your marriage (and hence, the rest of your life) because I think that's the way it should be. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the way my Mom felt about her life too.<BR/><BR/>Marriage can be rough at times but you're right, no one should try to tramp on your happiness. And parenting, wow, that one can be really tough. As you well know, they don't come with an instruction manual. Add in special needs and it's a lot tougher.<BR/><BR/>But - and here's the important thing, I suppose - both parenting and marriage can (and should) be such hugely rewarding parts of your life. The parts that make the rest (good and bad) more meaningful and better. Sorry, this comment is so long... must be the lawyer in me! ;-)Michelle Morgan-Coolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03671529553739362752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-49524604265827761312009-01-09T18:12:00.000-06:002009-01-09T18:12:00.000-06:00I agree with you... partly. Parenting has come na...I agree with you... partly. Parenting has come natural to me, but it is unrelenting. Like you said, you are constantly questioning yourself in a way that does not happen in your marriage. It is hard to feel like a competent Mom. Moreso, certainly, than a competent wife. However, now that we have kids and we have been parents for 4 years, marriage has gotten tougher because we don't really have time to be us anymore. We are always busy being Mommy and Daddy, lawyer and professional, hopefully getting some me time in, and then couple time comes last. We've been working on couple time, but add two kids, two demanding careers, a house, and a dog into the mix, it is pretty darn hard to fit in couple time. Marriage before kids? That was a breeze!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-30873027787201546182009-01-09T17:58:00.000-06:002009-01-09T17:58:00.000-06:00wow, lag liv, (sorry I'm don't blog and am anonym...wow, lag liv, (sorry I'm don't blog and am anonymous reader) but as a lawyer as someone who is not a mom but as someone who is in a long term stable relationship and am thinking about soon becoming a mom this is one of the most interesting posts. <BR/><BR/>We've been engaged for a couple of years (moved into our hours and our waiting until I get called until the wedding / baby) <BR/><BR/>I have to say, I never quite thought about how marriage v. motherhood have so many different factors involved. you certainly gave me quite a bit to think about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-26947221261519223392009-01-09T17:28:00.000-06:002009-01-09T17:28:00.000-06:00I agree with you. I've only been a mom for 11 week...I agree with you. I've only been a mom for 11 weeks, but those weeks have tested me and pushed me to the edge far more than my 2.5 years of marriage ever have.<BR/><BR/>Having a baby is so difficult, and there are LOTS of days when I regret doing it. I've never really thought that about having a husband.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04544333730313582279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-70405837108796937872009-01-09T17:20:00.000-06:002009-01-09T17:20:00.000-06:00Well, you already know about my struggles to even ...Well, you already know about my struggles to even get close to motherhood. So marriage is way easier, no doubt.<BR/><BR/>I'm kind of like you, I don't worry about MPS -- I always know we can conquer anything. Now motherhood is some crazy scary sh*t!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-84048006179461671132009-01-09T16:23:00.000-06:002009-01-09T16:23:00.000-06:00I hardly comment, but here's my two cents - just t...I hardly comment, but here's my two cents - just to be contraire :-)<BR/><BR/>I think both marriage and motherhood are a breeze, but marriage has gotten an inkling harder after having the kiddos. But it's mostly a healthy cycle. Happy marriage = happy parenting, and vice versa. <BR/><BR/>But seriously, having kids was the easiest thing I've ever done. Hands down. Thank my lucky stars too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-58553037853822081822009-01-09T15:51:00.000-06:002009-01-09T15:51:00.000-06:00Motherhood - at least until they are adults - is h...Motherhood - at least until they are adults - is harder. <BR/>1) Spouse doesn't NEED you to survive, where as young kids do. So, when you aren't feeling well, you can let your husband fend for himself. But, you can't do that with a 1 yr old!<BR/>2) Spouses don't require quite as much supervision. You can trust them a lot more!AJU5's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05039236630636069326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-3718291979574254852009-01-09T15:41:00.000-06:002009-01-09T15:41:00.000-06:00I'm with you and dooce. Motherhood is *way* tough...I'm with you and dooce. Motherhood is *way* tougher.Heaven In A Paper Cuphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02610255306202013613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-1697977445696092512009-01-09T15:40:00.000-06:002009-01-09T15:40:00.000-06:00After 25 years and 6 children I can say with some ...After 25 years and 6 children I can say with some authority ..... parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Our marriage was difficult one time and that was after the birth of our first child. I was adjusting to staying at home with no sleep and having him work 80+ hours a week. It was miserable for a while. But we got through it and never looked back.<BR/>Parenting ..... always changing. Yes, some things get easier as they age, but you just take on something else. It's constantly trading one hard thing for the next. <BR/>It's great, too ..... but oh, so much harder. Or maybe that was just me ..... and my marriage.Janinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00949809367923657970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3552008288188142238.post-1973876616860416642009-01-09T15:26:00.000-06:002009-01-09T15:26:00.000-06:00I have to agree with you. Motherhood is five thou...I have to agree with you. Motherhood is five thousand times harder than marriage. Maybe thats because I have been married 14 years now, and we got married young - its never really been hard.The Mommy Salamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18119769388987308366noreply@blogger.com