Friday, September 2, 2016

In Which the Word Oozing is Used More Than It Should Ever Be

So, spoiler alert for anyone who was waiting for their own star turn, but skin cancer fucking sucks. Or at least, the treatment for it does. I'm finishing out Week 2 of the anal wart chemo cream and burning out cancer cells from the inside with fire is terrible.  It hurts and burns and itches like holy hell and any time I let go of my hands long enough to let them make contact with my skin it burns and itches a thousand times more until it bleeds and oozes and I have to sit on my hands again. I'm going to be Phoebe with oven mitts duct taped to my hands soon. So if you needed more motivation to reduce sun exposure besides aging well and not getting burned, let me give it to you - I'm only halfway through the treatment and every day is worse. It sucks. Other than a lame Friends reference I can't even joke about it. Don't get skin cancer. I'm holding frozen peas to my chest right now and James has orders to yell at me if my nails go anywhere near my skin. Wear sunscreen. Stay out of the sun. This hurts.

[not pictured, because I love you]

On that note, Cabana Life contacted me after I wrote this post and they said they had so many people jumping to their site from mine, they wanted to offer my readers a discount code! That post was in no way sponsored (and neither is this one; I didn't get anything from the company except the future ability to use the code which I really wish I'd had the first time around), but I really really like their products. I ordered from Coolibar and Cabana Life and highly recommend both sites and products, but must admit, I liked the fashion, style, and fabric of the Cabana Life gear much more. I like cute swim gear- inappropriately small bikinis and bold bright patterns are my favorite and wearing swim burkas for the rest of my life is super depressing. (Though not more depressing than a flesh eating skin cream; I'm pro-swim-burka.) But my Cabana Life ensemble makes me feel cute, if covered, and is 100% less likely to make me put a skin eating paste on my chest in the future.  The discount code is LLSPF and gets you 20% off your whole purchase until Nov. 31, 2016. Their kid stuff is cute too.

In other shopping news, these Kate Spade heels are the new loves of my life. They're a terribly tempting additional 25% off, and the only size left is so close to my required size 10, but I know that every time I try to go just a little bigger (unless it's my giantess size 12 running shoes) they never work. My feet are super narrow and in heels they just slide right down to the end and the extra heel room = calluses that I normally never, but maybe I should get them anyway just to be sure? I could stare at them all day and be distracted from my oozing skin. (Does that phrase horrify you? It should.) They'd be so cute with all my work LBDs and jeans and blazer ensembles on Fridays. (And yes, that's glitter on the heel. Glitter!)

Palette cleanser: Cora got to try a free ballet class at her school this week and they sent her home with this picture stapled to the flyer.

Talk about high pressure sales tactics. Do they know I investigate financial fraud? Obviously, I gave them my money. When I asked Cora about it, she wedged her chubby feet into first position and told me very seriously, "I do ballet." And so she does.

This week she also decided to be our traveling bard. She carries this broken CD player with attached microphones around the house and sings songs extremely off-key and off-rhythm. Her favorite is "We Will Rock You" by Queen. It is so wonderful.

 This is the face she makes if you try to sing with her.

Don't do it.

We're continuing our new nightly yoga tradition. Landon likes it, Claire likes it, Cora LOVES it. She's been doing "doga" with me for months whenever she sees the extra yoga mats by my desk and she is ALL ABOUT this new routine. (And any routine, really; she's a stickler- elephants and Cora never forget.) Tonight we skipped yoga to go to Stir Crazy Baked Goods and eat all the cookies instead, but Cora and I still managed a few flows while the big kids were taking ten years to get ready for bed. She climbed on my back and sighed into my neck at the end and it really took child's pose to a new level.

Toddlers are the best.

Big kids are so fun and it's so awesome to get to know the person they are becoming, but I find it so. much. harder. to navigate the day to day "am I doing the right thing and shaping the into the best person they can be?" at all those tired, stubborn, crabby, sassy steps along the way. Cora's big problem today was whether or not she pooped in the potty. She did not. Sometimes I'll take the black and white and a pile of chlorox wipes over the constant shades of doubt and grey.

But other than the open wound on my chest, things are pretty good.  Cora did go pee in the potty with zero accidents for the last 3 days, so she's house trained and we're going to keep her.  I ordered the kids' Christmas pajamas because they were on sale and I like to live life four months ahead and I'm tired of summer.  We finished Stranger Things (so fun!) and just fired up Season 2 of Narcos.  This picture popped up in my facebook feed because I posted it 6 years ago today.  Tonight Claire swindled Landon out of $30 and then cried 3 times during dinner over the texture of the bread in her meatball sub, but this Claire's biggest problem was whether her thigh rolls could squeeze into her party dress.

11 years ago tonight James and I were at our rehearsal dinner where I got mildly drunk and dropped my phone and camera down a flight of stairs to shatter into a million pieces.  It made the next morning's errands and to do list extra exciting, but man that was a great weekend.  I particularly enjoy that my rehearsal dinner dress (purchased at Marshall's that morning) really showed off the non-ooziness of my chest.  .

Or it could be hiding under my "bride" name tag.  An idea for the next month for sure.


  1. This was a hilarious post. I am commenting partly because I am also using Efudex cream -- good times -- and mostly because I have been thinking a lot lately about how much easier toddlers are in many ways than my current 9 year old. Because of the doubt I have about all the emotional/social stuff -- and because I can no longer assume that my child will be a happy addition to whatever activity I feel like doing at the moment. As you said, I love the person that she is more than ever, and she's more of a person than ever, of course -- but it's challenging -- no more always happy and anxiety-free child.

  2. May I recommend adding a heel pad to the inside of shoes which are a bit too big? I have had great success with that, able to snag shoes I love but are a size too big. Super comfortable

  3. #1 I WOULD like a open chest wound pic.
    #2 You are thin, I'm envious! Celebrate that.

  4. I think i may be partially responsible for all those cabana life clicks. i keep going to their site, almost ordering and then forgetting what it's called, and coming back here again. But-- bonus for me, the discount coupon is perfect timing. We live in Africa and are desperate for good UV protection stuff, especially after your story!